Always slipping back into loser mode

[Last-Man-Standing]

Hey guys,
i have problems with my confidence. I always slip back into loser mode.
so far i have approached numerous girls in my university, 2 girls in a disco
, 1 girl sitting next to me in a park and 1 girl that was on the same train like me.

I think that after all the practise i can keep a conversation with most people.
But i am still afraid of approaching girls because i fear rejection so much.
I am also afraid of asking for phone numbers. I don't know myself why i am so afraid. The girls i approached didn't even shoot me down in a rude way.
With some of these girls i even had nice conversations and they seemed to
enjoy it too. But rigth now i'm too afraid to approach again and that after all
the practise. I still feel that i'm not good enough even though i think
that i have a lot to offer and i'm hard working to get the things i want.

Part of the problem seems to me that I'm studying law.
It seems to me that all girls there are spoiled stuck-up b1tches that are only looking for a
rich boyfriend and the guys either seem to be nerds or *******s.
That is why i don't have any friends either at the moment. The only "good"
friend i had doesn't want to hang out with me anymore because he's now banging some ugly
fat 16-years old girl and he doesn't need me anymore. Don't get me wrong i talk to guys too but it doesn't seem to work
too well neither. Maybe if i studied something else i would have had more success

Please don't hate on me i really tried to change but i always return to the same old me

Any advice would be appreciated!

Thanks in advance!

 

[hummer47]

heres some advice: all guys starting on the road to becoming a DJ always let fear overtake them. The fear of rejection in most cases. I find this fear of rejection to be bull$hit because all it does is holds us back from reaching our full potential and ultimately becoming who we want to be. Sure your gonna get rejected sometimes but who the F*** cares, all you have to do is use the magic word NEXT! When i first started out i was a scared little pu$$y that was so afraid i couldnt talk to the hott broads who were always checkin me out. Then one day i said to myself WHATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? Its not like shes gonna run away screaming.... If you never try you'll never know! Say for instance that hott B!tch you talked to earlier that was giving off plenty of signs that shes interested but you were to pu$$y to get her number and soon the window of opportunity is closed. so now you'll never know what COULD have happened if only you stopped being such a pu$$y.

You must not look at women as stuck up B!tches that only want a someone thats rich because this is far from the truth! sure there are women out there that are like this but they are a minority.

If you keep looking at women like this you will never succeed.

I dont mean to be too rude but what i speak is the truith! Good Luck

 

[Last-Man-Standing]

Thanks for the reply dude.
Don't get me wrong i don't think all girls are stuck up b1tches, most girls are quite nice in my opinion. BUT most of the girls that i can meet, girls that study law, seem to be stuck up b1tches that were spoiled by their rich parents who want their daughter to become nothing less than a lawyer. I'm just a normal guy and i think that approaching a girl that is as normal as me is much easier. But these girls are rare.

 

[hummer47]

keep trying, maybe go to some different places that you usually dont go to meet women. Coffee shops, bars, diff. night clubs, etc. just DONT GIVE UP, out of the 4 billion women out there your bound to meet plenty that are interested.

 

[isotope]

is your law school near a undergrad? you could always wander onto the undergrad campus. When i get back to college, I am going to be joining UF law in fall. And i plan to spend alot of time on the main campus prcacticing talking to girls.

or like he said, go to other palces. coffee shops, etc.

i like to think, "if i were a girl, where would i be? what would i do?" which means i would be maybe at a park/gym/library or someithing.

 

[D-Dizzle]

Your story sounds a little like mine. I am kind of a loner too. I cut loose most of my highschool friends and moved away. I have learned that you actually do need some guy friends. So work on that a little. I think most girls would be impressed to hear that your a law student. Girls love that intelligent angle!

My dating life is also a rollercoaster. One minute I have a couple numbers, the next, things didn't work out and I have none. We all gotta stay mentally tough no matter where were at and not let our lives be affected by the decision of some ditzy broad.

Don't change what your going to school for to get more dates. Never refer to yourself as a loser for the rest of your life. Next convo ASK FOR HER NUMBER!

Peace
Dizzle

 

[Paul Owen]

For what it is worth I think you are right about the law thing. Depending on where you are studying a lot of the girls will be rich daddy's girl types who are looking to work for a couple of years on wall street/the city (depending on where you are) and marry an investment banking husband. It depends what type of law they are doing though, this only applied to the corporate law types.

Anyway I don't think it is worth going out with the horsey set types. Even the most ugly ones will reject you just because your social background is not up to scratch (the dumb inbred *****es). You have to find people you have more in common with.

 

[Last-Man-Standing]

Thanks for the advice guys,
I just don't understand it. Some months ago i overcame my fear of approaching and i felt pretty good after approaching even though i got shot down. Now i'm afraid again. My confidence goes up and down and i don't know why. Some days i think i'm a handsome winner on other days i feel like an ugly loser. What makes me angry that i still feel like i'm not good enough for most girls even though i know i am. I just don't believe in it. So far I only feel comfortable approaching girls that i have something in common with like a class in university. But i didn't get far with the girls in university like i said.
Plus most of them are like 22-25 while i'm 21. Most girls only look for older guys anyway.

And yes I'm looking for friends too but at the moment i'm getting tired of it. most of the people i get to know i feel i have nothing in common with especially with the typical law students. They all project some kind of an ultra confident aura and i have to admit that i sometimes feel intimidiated even tough i know their confidence is fake and they need to brag. Telling a girl that i'm a law student isn't such a good idea either because law students have a bad reputation here because of all the idiots. Almost everyone can study law; doesnt mean he is successful though.

Any other advice?

 

[Donny Brasco]

Heres some tips on finding some friends to hang out with, people with your interests. Join a hockey/football/rugby/whatever team. You can't really pick your friends and its not like your going to be Mr. Popular right away but at least you'll be meeting other people who might not be stuck up. Also these guys will have girlfriends who have friends who they will bring to the games. Join some sort of club, I belong to the local ski club even though I've never been skiing with them and there's not a ski hill for 600 miles, they have parties and pub crawls and they like to have fun and raise money to go skiing. Get involved with the groups that are throwing these fundraising events and have some fun with your life.

and

All I hear you saying is "Waaa, I have no friends and girls scare me and waaa, I have no self confidence and blah blah blah".

Why not focus on whats good in your life like your in law school and your going to be a lawyer soon and you have a nice car and you have a cool surround sound system in your apartment, whatever. And quit trying so hard, act natural, you sound almost desperate. Learn how to sit alone and be comfortable with yourself for a few minutes before you go out and start judging all the stuck up people in your life. And if they all seem stuck up, which I find hard to believe, maybe something about you is making them act that way. Are you acting like a loser pu$sy or do you smell bad or are your teeth all yellow and gross. Get to the gym and help yourself by looking better.

And get out and drink more often, get hammered and do some stupid ****. Sometimes when I'm feeling low I go out and get sloshed, the next day I forget about how mentally ****ty I feel because I'm so hung over, no matter who crosses my path I have something ****y, funny and relaxed to say because I really do not give a $hit, I feel so crappy from all the booze the night before.

I know that sounds a little dysfunctional, but hey, it works for me.