All or nothing or build rapport?

[LittleRiverBand]

I went out to breakfast with my family yesterday and noticed a HB waitress. I was looking at my menu and I looked up and she was looking at me and didn't look away, but she wasn't really smiling or anything just looking. Either way, I plan to make a move.

What I'm wondering is, since it's a small place and there's a good chance I can get her as my waitress and have a convo with her that way, if I should become a "regular" and build rapport or just go for the gold and ask her out next time I see her and take the chance she doesn't flake?

 

[scrouds]

Uhhhhh, boat already sailed, why didn't you get her # then?

 

[LittleRiverBand]

Not much I could do. She wasn't my waitress and was quite busy. I just noticed the IOI. Difference between IOI and AI.

 

[Sandow]

Build rapport. All or nothing is hit or miss.

 

[LittleRiverBand]

I honestly don't think I'm motivated enough. I approached a hostess a couple weeks ago, no second thoughts, no hesitation, but that's because I felt I had something to lose. From far away, she looked like the kind of woman I'd only dream about and I couldn't pass that up so I went up to her. Turned out she was 17, just had a very mature body for her age and the secretary glasses made her look older than she was, but I at least did it.

It's like unless I think there's a big prize on the table I don't try. This current waitress (yes I tend to have a thing for women that work at restaurants hehe) isn't any better than the last girl I dated. She's pretty, better than most but I don't feel like "Wow I have to talk to her."

In a way it's good that I have a little experience now and know what it's like to be around a hot girl for an extended period of time after the last girl I dated, but I seem TOO relaxed. Any ways of curing this?

And no, this isn't rationalization for approach anxiety. I had approach anxiety and approached that hostess anyway no problem. It's almost like I'm the kid in school who wants the perfect attendance record or something.

 

[LittleRiverBand]

Well I talked to her. I was talking to my waitress about how I put mustard on my fries, so the girl is standing around and says "There's this country song out now that I like where the guy says he puts mustard on his fries." So I escalate with fluff talk, ask her if she goes to the local college and talk to her for a minute or two. I was about to ask for her number when customers walked in and she had to wait on them.

I didn't even care that I didn't get her number. She was a girl (19-21ish), not a woman. I feel like at 25 that I should be going for women in their mid 20s or older, unless they're one of those really hot women that's 21-22 and looks older for her age.

I was college aged once and that time is over. I know a lot of guys will disagree, but I want a woman. I know women are harder to seduce, but I'd rather date a woman than emotionally f*ck up and mislead young college girls that I'm not even that into.

 

[ElGuapo]

Well I talked to her. I was talking to my waitress about how I put mustard on my fries, so the girl is standing around and says "There's this country song out now that I like where the guy says he puts mustard on his fries." So I escalate with fluff talk, ask her if she goes to the local college and talk to her for a minute or two. I was about to ask for her number when a customers walked in and she had to wait on them.

I didn't even care that I didn't get her number. She was a girl (19-21ish), not a woman. I feel like at 25 that I should be going for women in their mid 20s or older, unless they're one of those really hot women that's 21-22 and looks older for her age.

I was college aged once and that time is over. I know a lot of guys will disagree, but I want a woman. I know women are harder to seduce, but I'd rather date a woman than emotionally f*ck up and mislead young college girls that I'm not even that into.

I hope this isn't a case of sour grapes.....

In my experience it's better to go all or nothing with girls you don't see on a regular basis. Rapport building is better suited for girls you'll run into frequently (e.g. girls in your same social circle, work, class etc.)

It'd be especially tough to build a real rapport with a waitress. She can't really relax when she's working and she's interacting with you in the context of a professional relationship not a personal one.

If you did want to go out with this girl, it probably would have been best to say "Hey, are you single?" and then ask her out on a date in a creative/interesting way.

 

[LittleRiverBand]

No sour grapes. Honestly not sure about her IL, but my point is I could give a sh*t about dating a girl 5 years younger than me. I'd have sex with her in a heartbeat, but I refuse to be one of those losers that dates a girl for a month before getting in her pants. If I want to date a girl, I'll date her, but not just for sex.