After the Lay

[AbsolutBeirut]

So I had some amazing sex with this chick I picked up at the bar. Next morning I drive her back home and we are on good terms. Now I am interested in seeing her again but not sure if she saw me as a fling. How soon should I call her? what should I say? is it OK to mention seeing each other again?

 

[Jay Jay]

Of course its okay to mention seeing each other again!

If the sex was amazing she'll wanna do it again, even if she went home with you with the intention of a ONS only.

Just say, "we should do this again sometime."

If she wants commitment and guilt free sex (please please please!) she'll take that as a non threatening invite. You've proved you've got the goods. Much better to get a booty call from proved quality than taking the gamble for another pick up.

If she wants something more she'll jump at the opportunity and beginning working towards "taming" you.

JJ

 

[Kings_royalty]

Who cares if she saw you as an ONS or not? If you are interested in seeing her again, make your move. If she wants to see you again, cool...if not, oh f*ing well. It drives me bonkers when guys worry themselves over what 'she' thinks, or wants.

Wait a few days then give her a call. Don't mention the one-nighter at all, don't even hint about it. Instead, have a casual conversation like nothing happened. Keep the convo short, friendly, charming and up beat.

If you are feeling a good vibe, invite her to join you for lunch or a drink, whatever the hell you want. If she's interested enough, being around you will be enough, it won't matter where you go.

 

[AbsolutBeirut]

Thanks for the advice guys. I went and called her up that night but ended up leaving a message on her voice mail telling her I had a great time and that we should do this again sometime. This morning she adds me on MySpace and leaves me this message:

Hi

Now we officially "friends"...lol. I had a great time on St. Patty's day too, let's definitely get together sometime. Hope you have a great day!

What do you guys make of this? It does look alright to me.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

FB,best served with beer,gj.

 

[Kings_royalty]

What do you guys make of this? It does look alright to me.

Looks good, she's still interested enough to keep in contact with you, but be careful how you play it from here.

Don't get all excited; loose your head and start asking her to go out right away...make her wait a little. Keep it cool, act like the whole situation is no big deal (which it shouldn't be).

I wouldn't respond to her email for a couple of days (keep her guessing).

 

[AbsolutBeirut]

2 days have passed. Neither of us has made another move. I am wondering if it is appropriate to give her a call tomorrow. If I do, should I suggest us meeting up and how soon? also what kind of places should i take her to? should I come up with something grand like a trip to the mountains or just keep it simpler by inviting her over for a drink of wine while we watch a DVD. I know that I am overanalyzing this, this aint no oneitis, its just that the sex was so great and I am too lazy to go out sarging again to find another girl.

 

[ryannath]

^^ Ban the troll.

Anyway, I think it's ok to call her of course and I would invite her to your house or hers for the drink or DVD. She'll get the hint that you want more sex of course. Then again, she could agree to the meeting and then flake at the last minute like a girl that I had a ONS with did to me the other day. She called right before I was about to come over and told me she "wasn't in the mood for that." Good luck.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Always be sure to mix it up, if you are looking for anything more than a fvckbuddy. Make sure you take her out places too, mix it up, rather than doing one thing all the time. The weather's warming up, check up on those drive-in movies!

 

[AbsolutBeirut]

Just when I was starting to lose hope, things worked out. Here's what happened:

Wednesday night:
I give her a call and end up leaving her a Voice Mail telling her I am going to be busy next week and we should meet up before then. At that point, I was preparing to give up on her.

Thurday noon:
Lo and behold, she leaves me a Voice Mail telling me that shes actually doing something Friday night and wants me to come also.

I'm thinking of sending her a text message saying "Would love to join you on Friday, whats the plan?"

I suspect its something including her friends, whom I already met but I am sure will be investigating me. Anyways, hoping that I can get her back to my place after its done. Ready to invite her friends too if I have to, luckily I have cool stuff in my home to entertain them with.

So what do you guys think? I am not worried but love to hear ppl's feedback.

 

[Major_Major]

Its a good sign man, she's inviting you out is awesome. Granted she has her protection with her friends but I think you are in the clear for another amazing night of sex with this girl. You got this just keep playing it cool like you've been doing.

Major

 

[AbsolutBeirut]

So Friday comes rolling around and its 7:30 PM, I call her up and yet again the lovely Voice Mail. I leave a message and proceed to meet up with a buddy of mine to not let her flakiness rule my going out tonight. Me and my buddy hit bars and chat with a couple of chicks, though no of them interested me. Out of the blue, she texts me at 10:30 PM telling me she has made no plans and if I got any ideas. Now I'm thinking if I can arrange it so that I can pick her up or crash into her place, in other words get laid tonight. Of course, I didnt call her as soon as I got the message, I waited 1/2 hour. She does nt pick up again and I dont leave a Voice Mail. Guys!!! please help explain to me what is going on and how I should take it from here. I've had one night lays before, they never responded back to me. She did at least through text messages, could there be an inkling of interest on her part, at least for just sexual favors?

 

[Royal-tiger]

Considering the level of drama that she is bringing in, she could be just enjoying your attention and/or the thought that she has you at her call.

My take: Let her reach out for you (not other way around)! You have done enough calling. Make yourself less available and be indifferent. Chicks hate losing that power. Your chances of getting laid by this woman is substantially higher that way, IMO.

 

[AbsolutBeirut]

It seems like she still wants something from me cuz today she texts me telling me sorry things didnt work out yesterday and that tonight she has to work but wants to meet up afterwards. Now I am trying to find plans with my friends so that I am busy all night. I'll text her with what I am doing without inviting her and she should text me back when she wants to see me. When she does I'll try to set it up so that whenever I leave where I am I'll pick her up and take her back to my place. What do you guys think? she's definitely a F-Buddy.

 

[Royal-tiger]

She should reach out as is happening but instead of playing this "tag game" she should come through and make a concrete meeting time. Also, I find her not answering the phone (when you call) highly deliberate (of keeping you on hook).

My theory: Give them some of their own medicine and drive them nuts! Then keep banging and she will keep coming to you!!

 

[AbsolutBeirut]

She should reach out as is happening but instead of playing this "tag game" she should come through and make a concrete meeting time. Also, I find her not answering the phone (when you call) highly deliberate (of keeping you on hook).

My theory: Give them some of their own medicine and drive them nuts! Then keep banging and she will keep coming to you!!

Well said..Amigo