Afraid of barefoot in public: confidence issues

[DragonBlood]

Hi all, been awhile.

So ive recently got into barefoot running / walking. Taking a girl on a barefoot walk through a nature trail or by the coast is now one of my favorite "goto dates" and a hell of a lot of fun.

The problem I am running into now is I would like to barefoot more often in public places, around my estate and just incorporate barefoot walking into my overall health and fitness. However I feel super conscious about doing this in and around my estate or outside of a "park" like venues on my own. I find this ridiculous and frustrating as I am a cold approacher and normally have very low social anxiety. I am actually more comfortable stopping and picking a stranger off the street than to go on a barefoot walk around my estate. At the core is some kind of body confidence issue that I cant figure out on my own. In my ideal world I would like to retire my shoes for good. Whenever I attempt this though, I feel like I time travel 5 years back where I was afraid to talk to women on the streets. It has that same kind of self conscious "feeling" in my gut.

My biggest fear is bumping into someone from work (which is nearby, a good few co-workers actually live in the estate) and it being awkward as all hell... and for that to hurt my reputation in the future. For some reason as well I am also specifically afraid of bumping into a mommy and trolley of kids, which in my mind is the most traditional group I could run into. Ive gone on some short outings at off peek times to the bins and back, but Im literally crumbling under the social pressure otherwise! I would appreciate any advice on this social anxiety and how to overcome it.

DB

 

[Skyline]

I don't own two pairs of Calvin Klein Oxford's for no reason...

Go barefoot in environments that would be acceptable would be my advice. It's like a girl dressing like a slvt and then being called one but denies it.

 

[prison/con.net]

get ringworm and heartworm for your trouble. Too much dog crap around everywhere. get some of those "spread finger" type sandals instead

 

[DragonBlood]

@Skyline haha nice. But this is my point exactly. Am I wearing shoes because I like too or am I wearing them because people would judge me otherwise. Worrying about and conforming to what people think of you flies in the face of most confidence and seduction advice in general, so I find this creates an emotional conflict for me.

@prison yeah I have thought about the vibrams route and own a couple of minimal shoes/sandals, but I wonder if they are missing the point or a "cruch". I dont walk barefoot on cuts or in bad weather, but I have often gone barefoot on natures walks and the like... which ironically are far rougher than the pavement of an estate. What I really find interesting about this is how it cuts deep at how much I care what people think of me, in particular people I know, an issue I thought was left in the past.

 

[amazingswayze]

go out barefoot! overcome your fears!

The problem I am running into now is I would like to barefoot more often in public places, around my estate and just incorporate barefoot walking into my overall health and fitness. However I feel super conscious about doing this in and around my estate or outside of a "park" like venues on my own. I find this ridiculous and frustrating as I am a cold approacher and normally have very low social anxiety. I am actually more comfortable stopping and picking a stranger off the street than to go on a barefoot walk around my estate. At the core is some kind of body confidence issue that I cant figure out on my own. In my ideal world I would like to retire my shoes for good. Whenever I attempt this though, I feel like I time travel 5 years back where I was afraid to talk to women on the streets. It has that same kind of self conscious "feeling" in my gut.

DB

the only places standing in your way are the ones that say, "no shoes, no service"

the rest of it is all in your mind.

if this is what makes you happy, you have to let go of those insecurities.

you can't think your way to a solution. the only way your attitude will change is if you go out barefoot, and break those boundaries. after you practice this, your comfort level will rise.

don't worry so much bro. i don't know what it's like to go barefoot 24/7 but i can tell you that if it means your happiness you absolutely must do it, regardless of what anyone thinks.

food for thought
what if you encounter a chick who has a foot fetish?

 

[DragonBlood]

food for thought
what if you encounter a chick who has a foot fetish?

I have not considered this, and that would be awesome. What I have noticed though is that any girls I have gotten into barefooting are usually faster to unshod then I am. In someways it puts you in a different "league" as you are giving the girl a new experiance and more body confidence. One conservative girl in particular springs to mind who bought a pair of sandals a couple of days after one of our treks and loosened up considerably.

don't worry so much bro. i don't know what it's like to go barefoot 24/7 but i can tell you that if it means your happiness you absolutely must do it, regardless of what anyone thinks.

Me down to a tee. I worry a lot, which is originally why I got into pick up, to have better prep for all possibilities.

I decided to take your advice AW and just take the plunge. I put the trash out barefoot as usual to build momentum and then I left my house with my shoes in my backpack. I had some long jeans on so it wouldnt be immediately noticeable. The walk from my house, around the estate and to the bus stop is about 40mins. About half the people I bumped into gave me a strange look and the rest either didnt notice or care.

After completing my initial journey I have a smile inside and a huge surge in my confidence! The people around me actually started to look funny, knowing how trapped they are in their own day-to-day roles.

I have less concern about what my coworkers would think if I happened to bump into them, but one thing deep down still really bothers me. My brother works in the area, and sooner or later, my family will find out about this. As much as I hate to admit it, my parents approval and acceptance has always had a profound effect on my self esteem. They are generally conservative and very focused on making a good impression. I already know this will break into a huge argument and I dont know how to break the conversation at all.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I live in London. The ground for, for the most part, is disgusting.

Nice idea, but I save it for the beach or park.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I wouldn't do it in super public places. But like if I'm walking down the street or something or going somewhere close, idc. Who the hell are they to judge me? I don't want to spend 5 minutes to take out the trash cuz I gotta put my socks on, then my shoes, then tie them, then screw up tying them so I have to do it all over again, then take out the trash and do the whole process in reverse once I'm done. I'll take out the trash in 20 seconds thank you very much.

 

[Julian]

Maybe its because deep down (this is going to be harsh) your subconsious realizes what you are doing is fukking stupid. Its like trying to "peacock" and wearing eye liner at the bar or some weak **** like that.

honestly this is not some namibian tribesman ish...we rose out of the stone age and put clothes on our body and shoes on our feet for a reason. you wanna do that ape **** then do it but be ready to look like a dumbazz.

peace


honestly with all the crap on the streets, trash..syringes..dog **** as mentioned earlier, broken glass, rocks etc. Its just stupid in my mind but whatever

 

[backbreaker]

i like the idea of girls going on barefoot nature walks tho. that 's kinda erotic

 

[DragonBlood]

Im the kind of guy that makes my own informed decisions based on experiences, rather than just following the herd. I can see though that outside the context of nature dates the general connotation of the thread is negative to barefoot in public places.

What has my enthusiasm up about this is the fact that many of the runners I know have converted to minimalist footwear to avoid injury, and that there are already success stories out there of people who barefoot 100% of the time.

http://www.barefootandpaleo.com/2015/02/walking-barefoot-in-public.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj2DuostwG4


I stumbled across the barefoot community myself due to a soccer injury from ill fitting shoes. From my own personal experiences I can confidently say shoes are important for walking on gravel or on hot surfaces. But outside those two scenarios they don't seem to be as practical or vital as I have been lead to believe. In fact my soles and muscles are becoming stronger and its just becoming easier. What makes barefooting hard isnt the act... its other people. A feeling much like the fear of approaching a girl you like in public, the risk of humiliation. It has as much to do with practicality as it does with people holding onto an image and being afraid of letting go. It is certainly fun.

@Julien: Interesting point on peacocking, but to that I say no. Its more about freedom of expression, if there were other people following suit I would actually feel alot more at ease and this thread wouldnt exist. So theres really two parts to this thread. Health and fitness, and what to do when under extreme social pressure, especially when that pressure appears to be wrong.

 

[Frepol]

Step on a spider, bee, or glass barefoot and you won't do it again.