AFCs are the outcome of a sex culture that punishes men for not being players.

[Good Gao]

To me, an AFC ("Average Frustrated Chump") is not a guy that lacks success with the opposite sex, it is a guy that lacks success with the opposite sex and is angry about lacking success with the opposite sex. A few weeks ago I read the manifesto of the Isla Vista shooter and watched some of his videos, though he is quite the extreme case of an AFC because most AFCs won't do something that crazy, it made me think that AFCs are really a result of a culture that puts unrealistic sexual expectations on men. In my honest opinion, I do not believe that the biological need for sex is as big of a deal as some would think. Over the years I have met people from many different countries and have found that men from non-Anglo countries tend to be happy despite being virgins at such a late age (22, 23, and even 25).

One guy I met was a virgin at 24 and got married to a girl he met at the age of 27, right now he is a father and is in a happy marriage with a cute girl. Just looking at this guy I thought to myself that had he grown up in America, particularly Southern California, he would have been borderline depressed for being a 24 yr old virgin.

The fact of the matter is that western culture puts unrealistic sexual expectations on men, in order for men to be "respected" they have to sleep with as many attractive women as possible. That is why athletes get so much more respect than scientists, doctors, and teachers because athletes sleep with hot women. The fact of the matter is, most guys out there do not have the opportunity to sleep with hot women and our culture has taking the stance to ridicule them for it. Given that situation, we should not be that shocked that there are so many sexually frustrated men here in western society.

Now given that these guys have been frustrated their whole lives for not having sex with the cheerleader in high school or the sorority girl in college, they tend to overcompensate to where they will attempt to sleep with as many girls as possible to prove themselves to the culture. The whole process makes men into monsters who are never happy with the sex they get and it isn't that I care about what they do to women but rather what they do to themselves. Growing up, the role models that kids look up to are the kind of men that have lots of sex with lots of hot girls and all kids want to be that guy. The fact of the matter is that most kids cannot be that guy which as a result turns into frustration, anger, envy towards those guys, jealousy, and a mix of negative emotions.

It's not that these guys are angry because they cannot get sex, it is because there is an immense pressure on young men in our society to have sex with lots of hot women. If young men cannot have sex with hot women then they are degraded and looked down upon which hurts their self-esteem and has them trying to get as much sex as possible. Once they fail at that, you have an AFC who could potentially be a danger to society.

 

[Zarky]

Nice analysis. And now that you know what an AFC is, don't be one.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

America in general likes to portray **** in entertainment when it is the exact opposite in real life.

 

[Mike32ct]

Great post.

 

[JohnnyStorm]

Good post. It's all about your attitude and how you choose to be defined by whatever cards life has dealt you and your situation.

An extreme comparison would be how there are happy people living in some of the poorest parts of the world. Sometimes these people aren't aware of what it is to live with abundance, how can they be sad if they've never had it? Other times they just accept it and get on with it.

There are far worse things than not getting laid. It doesn't make you a failure. And it's important that people realise this.

 

[backbreaker]

It's a good post however I don't agree.


I have had long sperts of not getting laid and I never gave 2 ****s about soceital pressure. What did get to me, is that everyone else was having sex and I wasn't.


The key word here in AFC is Frustrated. What makes you frustrated isn't that you aren't getting laid. I didn't get laid until I was 16, I didn't give a **** about sex until then. I wasn't going around depressed and **** in fact i was quite happy.


The frustrating part is that apparently, other guys ARE able to have sex and ill take it a step further, you're not even frustrated that athletes, and rock stars and rich people are getting laid that's a given to anyone with half a brain. What frustrates you is that other avg guys like you, are getting laid and you aren't and you dont' know why, can't figure out why.


It would be one thing if all avg people weren't getting laid. Then you just accept it as a fact of life and move on. But that's not the case.


Going back to that killer. WHat really spurned him was that his roommates, really, guys who didn't have the advantages that he had with the car, with the dad in show business, were able to get laid. He never really mentions athletes or rock stars or anything like that. that's common sense.


the key is why are some avg guys able to get laid and other avg guys are not able to get laid. that's the 64 thousand dollar question.

 

[Mike32ct]

Being a virgin is no big deal. I didn't physically "suffer" by being a virgin for so long. You don't miss what you never had. The time flew by. What hurt was feeling "left out" and listening to other guys' stories.

Even now, I'm not physically suffering during a currently long dry spell.

Honestly, I think the drive to score is more about ego than anything else.

But where does even that come from? I still think it's from society. Society teaches men (indirectly) that they are only attractive and worthwhile if they are getting laid.

 

[VikingKing]

To me, an AFC ("Average Frustrated Chump") is not a guy that lacks success with the opposite sex, it is a guy that lacks success with the opposite sex and is angry about lacking success with the opposite sex. A few weeks ago I read the manifesto of the Isla Vista shooter and watched some of his videos, though he is quite the extreme case of an AFC because most AFCs won't do something that crazy, it made me think that AFCs are really a result of a culture that puts unrealistic sexual expectations on men. In my honest opinion, I do not believe that the biological need for sex is as big of a deal as some would think. Over the years I have met people from many different countries and have found that men from non-Anglo countries tend to be happy despite being virgins at such a late age (22, 23, and even 25).

One guy I met was a virgin at 24 and got married to a girl he met at the age of 27, right now he is a father and is in a happy marriage with a cute girl. Just looking at this guy I thought to myself that had he grown up in America, particularly Southern California, he would have been borderline depressed for being a 24 yr old virgin.

The fact of the matter is that western culture puts unrealistic sexual expectations on men, in order for men to be "respected" they have to sleep with as many attractive women as possible. That is why athletes get so much more respect than scientists, doctors, and teachers because athletes sleep with hot women. The fact of the matter is, most guys out there do not have the opportunity to sleep with hot women and our culture has taking the stance to ridicule them for it. Given that situation, we should not be that shocked that there are so many sexually frustrated men here in western society.

Now given that these guys have been frustrated their whole lives for not having sex with the cheerleader in high school or the sorority girl in college, they tend to overcompensate to where they will attempt to sleep with as many girls as possible to prove themselves to the culture. The whole process makes men into monsters who are never happy with the sex they get and it isn't that I care about what they do to women but rather what they do to themselves. Growing up, the role models that kids look up to are the kind of men that have lots of sex with lots of hot girls and all kids want to be that guy. The fact of the matter is that most kids cannot be that guy which as a result turns into frustration, anger, envy towards those guys, jealousy, and a mix of negative emotions.

It's not that these guys are angry because they cannot get sex, it is because there is an immense pressure on young men in our society to have sex with lots of hot women. If young men cannot have sex with hot women then they are degraded and looked down upon which hurts their self-esteem and has them trying to get as much sex as possible. Once they fail at that, you have an AFC who could potentially be a danger to society.

I get what your saying. I've met a few Indians, and Chinese who are exchange student. They are very nice imo, they also make good friends. They are just pleasant people. But that doesn't get you laid.

Even my neighbor when i was going through my last break up (with a chinese) he was chinese. No sh!t from china. He used to let me come over and whine about my ex. He would listen and talk to me, give me ciggerrates and sodas, and advice. doubt he was swimming in puss, but I barely knew this guy and lived next to him for a year. I'm sure he heard us fvcking constantly, and fighting constantly.

I think a lot of eastern guys are this way. They tend to be really nice. Normally I'm pretty nice back to them because I look at them as naive in many ways. Sure they have mastered a level of mathematics way higher than me, but I can handle human beings better.

Its true though. If you believe not having sex will make you miserable, than it will. If you believe it doesnt matter, than it wont. Literally its what you believe, and what you allow to affect you.

 

[Good Gao]

I don't even think most guys are even getting laid that much TBH, what I think is this:

1. Most guys finish high school struggling and it isn't rare for them to finish high school as a virgin either.

2. Most guys struggle in college and don't get laid like you would think by watching some movies about frat life.

3. Many guys finally find their stride after college and start to get it together by then.

The problem is that American media is showing you how every guy in high school and college is getting laid or getting some sort of hot sex. Ever notice how a lot of the actors that play high school and college kids are into their mid 20s? Now I know that movies about studying during college and stressing over finals would be boring so you have to go overboard but the problem is the message. Media sends across the message that almost all guys are getting laid in college by decent looking girls when fact of the matter is that college works completely different that you would imagine it.

Only around a small number of guys in college are getting sex from hot girls and these guys are usually athletes and frat boys. It also depends on what kind of college you go to because here in the Northeast, Greek Life is not that big but if you go down south and out west it is huge. The colleges that have a big greek life also have great football programs and a lot of hot college girls. Most college guys will not get to experience how it is like being with a really hot girl in college because at that point in their lives these girls are exclusively chasing after particular kinds of guys.

It is what I picked up on when I saw Eliot's video and he said "everyone is getting laid in college".

Most people are not but they will put up an act about it or even lie just to not appear like losers. The reason they do this is because media has put up an illusion that all college guys party like frat boys and **** hot girls when most of them don't.

I have found getting hot girls to be 10 times easier after college than back when I was in college. In college it was like these girls were always being watched and always paranoid about who they got with, literally no different from high school. Now after college I go up to some hbb at a clothing store, approach her, chat with her, and then get those digits. Girls after college also flake a lot less.

 

[backbreaker]

wow. dammit he got us guys.

 

[DonGorgon]

there is massive male cover population in most places which gives women too many options and men too few captions and option means power so female have the power now .... sooooo most men cannot be players at all..

for example in a social setting there will be 50 guys and 20 girls BUT all 20 of these females will seek to F the same 5 guys lout of that 50 and the oner 45 guys will be left to beg and try and hope and struggle

those 5 guys that get 99% of the sex will get it easy and will be the only guys the female pat attention to.. most men know this is fact and see it all the time but are in denial about hit cause hit hurts

AFCs are reduced by constant rejection and jai lure and in ability to get sex .. confidence goes down and desperation goes up

 

[Good Gao]

there is massive male cover population in most places which gives women too many options and men too few captions and option means power so female have the power now .... sooooo most men cannot be players at all..

for example in a social setting there will be 50 guys and 20 girls BUT all 20 of these females will seek to F the same 5 guys lout of that 50 and the oner 45 guys will be left to beg and try and hope and struggle

those 5 guys that get 99% of the sex will get it easy and will be the only guys the female pat attention to.. most men know this is fact and see it all the time but are in denial about hit cause hit hurts

AFCs are reduced by constant rejection and jai lure and in ability to get sex .. confidence goes down and desperation goes up

I don't find this to be the case at all, the men who want it get it. Plus once you think about it, not many guys out there want to be players whether it is because of some moral superiority complex or because of how they were raised. Most men out there just want a loving girl to spend the rest of their lives with while a good number of women want that as well.

It is just a small number of people that are looking for a lot of sex partners.

Even noticed this back in college, lots of people were in long term relationships and dating that one person. It was a small number of people that slept around a lot and usually it was with each other, usually these were either athletes or greek life.

 

[Good Gao]

To the point I do want to make, not every guy out there thinks like some horny frat boy or some pornstar. There are a lot of guys out there that are good looking and well off in life and all they want is a girlfriend. A lot of these guys often settle for girls that are not dimepieces but are happy with these girls. Screw the biological attraction crap about guys wanting to **** anything that moves, most guys just want a relationship with a loving girl. I am serious because I even notice it with myself.

I had a period in my life when I slept around with a lot of women, notch count is probably near 50, and now that I am in an LTR I am so much happier and the sex is better because of the familiarity.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Gaming chicks is fun and a constant learning experiencing and I have no qualms about it at all. But some dudes act like vagina is going out of style and won't be around much longer. It makes me wonder if they are getting any or much at all, seems so forced. I'm focused on me and discovering myself which is much more interesting, chipping away at the man I want to be

 

[zekko]

What frustrates you is that other avg guys like you, are getting laid and you aren't and you dont' know why, can't figure out why.

Interesting point.

Honestly, I think the drive to score is more about ego than anything else.

But where does even that come from? I still think it's from society.

Society and biology. But I agree, I think ego has more to do with it than most people care to admit.

Even noticed this back in college, lots of people were in long term relationships and dating that one person.

This is what I am always saying. Not about college necessarily, but where I live, people tend to pair up into couples, even the young folk. There are definitely a lot that sleep around, but those people are usually easy to identify - you know who they are. A lot of people sleep around as a phase, some do it for life. But a whole lot of them seem satisfied to just pair off into couples.

 

[Mike32ct]

Society and biology. But I agree, I think ego has more to do with it than most people care to admit.
.

Exactly. I would never deny the biology part of it. But I think that the ego part is often ignored or downplayed.

 

[Bokanovsky]

To understand why things are the way they are, you need to understand the economics of sexual frustration. They say that sex sells. And it does...but only if you are not getting laid (at least not regularly).

We live in a consumer society and much of our disposable income is spent on things that are directly or indirectly related to sex. Men go to nightclubs hoping to pick up chicks. Men go to bars hoping to meet women...or they bring their dates to bars to loosen them up, hoping that it would lead to a lay afterwards. Guys go on vacations to places like Cancun to get laid. They buy fancy clothing, sports cars, go the gym, tanning salon, get tattoos, etc. all in the hope of making themselves more attractive to women. Now ask yourself this: would men be spending money on all that stuff if they were happy with their sex lives? In order to get men to keep spending money, you have to make sure that men remain unsatisfied and sexually frustrated. That's why you have movies and TV shows that paint a wildly unrealistic picture of what a typical guy's sex life should be. And that's why you have a culture that places so much value on getting laid and makes you feel like a loser if you don't get laid as much as you think you should be.

In our culture, being a 40-year-old virgin would be more pathetic than being a criminal, drug addict, unemployed bum or just about any kind of delinquent, really. Contrast this to the old days, when abstinence was actually seen as a great virtue and men who voluntarily gave up sex (i.e. priests and monks) were given a great amount of respect. In those days, cultural norms were dictated by the Church. Today, culture is shaped by multinational corporations. And one of the fundamental tenants of capitalism is the concept of need creation. In order to get people to spend money, you have to create a need by making them feel that they are lacking something.

 

[MOTU]

OP and other dudes, you all need to read The Moral Animal by Robert Wright.