AFC friend gets *hot* girl

[The Deacon]

Good reminder. It's amazing how we actually ADMIRE women, just because they are HOT. As if that in itself was a freaking virtue. So backwards. You've got a site like this where some men learn all sorts of things with the attitude they will try to convince a woman that they are WORTHY of her, when the whole premise is out of whack. Sorry, being hot is not a virtue. The only reason these chicks get away with murder is there are armies of AFCs ready to sacrafice themselves if only for a smile from a pretty girl.

I don't fully agree nor do I fully disagree from this statement. The reason being that a woman's social value is largely derived from her appearance. A hot woman always adds value to the man whose arm she's clinging onto. In no case does a hot woman actually lower a man's social value. She could even be a slvtty porn star and add value to him.

Then again, letting a girl get whatever she wants just because she's pretty is also dumb. See, I'd do that if it made the girl's panties wet, but we all learned the hard way that capitulation does not bring penetration, but rather sexual frustration.

 

[reset]

I'm saying that lots of men treat woman as a prize based on her looks alone, which is enough to compensate for poor behavior. It doesn't add anything to his life if he's with the wrong woman.

 

[young_gun]

She's in reality a bigger AFC than your friend but society will never call her out for this patheticness because she's hot.

HAHA. This is SO TRUE. I met a girl a few years back (I'm 21 now) who was 18 and dating a 14 year old guy. She was really hot, but once I got to know her a little bit, I saw that she was just so, so desperate for any kind of attention she could get. And I'm assuming this was how she got that attention.

No offense SilverSonnet, it's just that 18 year old girls shouldn't be going for 14 year old guys. LOL

 

[ketostix]

The reason these 18 year old hotties are going for 15 year old kiddies is quite simple.

The 18 year old hottie knows that a guy her age is more likely to be on her level and see through her little games.

In other words he is going to expect sex or there will be no relationship.

He's also not going to be her emotional tamp0n.

A 15 year old guy on the other hand might be so desperate for a girlfriend and see that this chick that seems to be interested in him is hot so he will say yes to being her boyfriend no second thoughts about it and he thinks he's getting a good deal here and that she'll eventually give it up to him ie the sex if he supplicates to her and fulfills all his emotional tamp0n functions and caters to her attention needs.

The girl is getting the better end of the bargain out of this.

She gets the status of having a boyfriend which sends the message that she is desired and wanted by males and her social circle will regard her highly.

And she also gets all of her emotional needs fulfilled without having to do the messy work of fulfilling the poor manipulated lovestruck boy's sexual needs.

She wins, he loses.

The 18 year old guys meanwhile wonder what the 15 year old guy's secret is and they mistakenly think she must of chose him because he's a huge pimp or that the girl is just fvcked in the head.

The 15 year old in fact is no huge pimp and the chick is not fvcked in the head...well not mentally ill anyway...but rather this decision by her to take on a 15 year old suitor is merely a cleverly calculated move to give her maximum benefit with minimal output.

When girls like this want to get fvcked and have a real relationship they'll go find a DJ.

However when they are in attention seeking and ego validation mode with no desire to give up the pvssy its AFC hunting season for them.

This is really good stuff KX. Not to take any credit away but this is what I was thinking in my thread "The 4 zones women put guys". What you describe is a version of Friend Zone. While it's not technically and totally the friend zone, it's more friend zone than lover zone. You just explained it a lot better and more specifically KX. Being a rebound guy is sort of the more rare friend zone gray area along with being a FB or a FWB. What makes it the friend zone instead of lover zone though is the AFC actually think's he's a full fledge lover, but as you explained KX the girl is really taking him for a ride even if there is sex. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he wasn't even getting any sex anyway.

 

[ketostix]

I'm saying that lots of men treat woman as a prize based on her looks alone, which is enough to compensate for poor behavior. It doesn't add anything to his life if he's with the wrong woman.

I see what you are saying but I personally do prize a woman's looks. Now that doesn't mean I pedistalize her for her looks. I don't pedistalize a woman that has both looks and personality either. There's a difference between valuing something and rewarding and pedistalizing someone for having it.

 

[ketostix]

HAHA. This is SO TRUE. I met a girl a few years back (I'm 21 now) who was 18 and dating a 14 year old guy. She was really hot, but once I got to know her a little bit, I saw that she was just so, so desperate for any kind of attention she could get. And I'm assuming this was how she got that attention.

It hard to imagine a hot 18 year doesn't get attention. I think you are saying she was insecure. This would raise the question though if the rule of thumb to "neg" and insecure girl is the best route.

No offense SilverSonnet, it's just that 18 year old girls shouldn't be going for 14 year old guys. LOL

I think it's actually illegal for someone 18 or older to have sexual relations with someone under 16. It's right at the line though.

 

[reset]

I see what you are saying but I personally do prize a woman's looks. Now that doesn't mean I pedistalize her for her looks. I don't pedistalize a woman that has both looks and personality either. There's a difference between valuing something and rewarding and pedistalizing someone for having it.

Well yeah, that's the first thing you notice is looks. But I'm sure you're not going to roll over and let some chick walk over you because she's hot. You drop her. You drop the hot chicks that treat you bad, and you keep the hot chicks that treat you well.

My point is for a lot of guys the girl's sexuality is the be all and end all, and they will sacrafice their own principles and be used, simply because she's hot. That's AFC in a nutshell.

 

[ketostix]

Well yeah, that's the first thing you notice is looks. But I'm sure you're not going to roll over and let some chick walk over you because she's hot. You drop her. You drop the hot chicks that treat you bad, and you keep the hot chicks that treat you well.

My point is for a lot of guys the girl's sexuality is the be all and end all, and they will sacrafice their own principles and be used, simply because she's hot. That's AFC in a nutshell.

No I'm totally agreeing with you. I'm just saying it doesn't matter so much why you pedistalize a female as much as the fact that you pedistalize her. I've seen ugly girls manipulate AFC's into pedistalizing the girl because of her "personality". It's not good to do it regardless of why.

 

[reset]

lol, yeah basically, it's sexuality. Whether she's hot or not, her intimacy can be her biggest advantage.

 

[SilverSonnet]

No offense SilverSonnet, it's just that 18 year old girls shouldn't be going for 14 year old guys. LOL

Lol, I know. Just joking with ya. I wouldn't go out with somebody that old anyway, not at my age currently. Anyway, I'm not looking for girls, just for fun, and practice, so when it does come to that time of my life, it's go go go baby

 

[Omen]

Kontroller is right. I have seen how younger girls act, and sometimes they forget who they are talking too since they are so used to younger guys.

By this I mean... I like this 18yr old. Cute girl and all, and I was going to tell her something one day, and then said...i'll tell you later at work.

She sent me a txt, and was like tell me now. She played the girl games where they play sad and all of that stuff. Now she was thinking... Mwhaaaa...in a txt message, he'll SO believe i'm crying and he'll tell me.

I was like... Dont you fvckin fake cry to me, and pretend. I'm not stupid. When I saw her she was like... Did you really believe I was crying? I was like... uh NO. She was like.. .DAMN!

Now a 15yr old would have been like... It's ok baby, and this and that, and dont cry, i'm sorry, what can I do..... all the while she is laughing on the other end. Taken by the balls she says.

Girls have SO MUCH control over younger guys. Those guys will bow down left and right.

I was at a party and a girl I know goes... Can you go fill my beer cup up for me? She was 18, and I was like... it's right over there, go get it yourself. And then she did.

If she would have said that to someone closer to her age or younger, he would have been like... YES I will go fill your glass up, and is there anything else I can get you?

Now I hope 15yr olds aren't at parties, but they probably are.

Point in case is that this happens ALL OF THE TIME. She found an emotional tamp0n, and that is her plan. Some 15yr old boy who will do what ever for her, and be her slave, and a shoulder to cry on.

Sucks, but that's the way life is. He has no idea what she is doing to him, and will slowly learn the hard way. Then one day tell his story on this board

 

[SilverSonnet]

Kontroller is right. I have seen how younger girls act, and sometimes they forget who they are talking too since they are so used to younger guys.

By this I mean... I like this 18yr old. Cute girl and all, and I was going to tell her something one day, and then said...i'll tell you later at work.

She sent me a txt, and was like tell me now. She played the girl games where they play sad and all of that stuff. Now she was thinking... Mwhaaaa...in a txt message, he'll SO believe i'm crying and he'll tell me.

I was like... Dont you fvckin fake cry to me, and pretend. I'm not stupid. When I saw her she was like... Did you really believe I was crying? I was like... uh NO. She was like.. .DAMN!

Now a 15yr old would have been like... It's ok baby, and this and that, and dont cry, i'm sorry, what can I do..... all the while she is laughing on the other end. Taken by the balls she says.

Girls have SO MUCH control over younger guys. Those guys will bow down left and right.

I was at a party and a girl I know goes... Can you go fill my beer cup up for me? She was 18, and I was like... it's right over there, go get it yourself. And then she did.

If she would have said that to someone closer to her age or younger, he would have been like... YES I will go fill your glass up, and is there anything else I can get you?

Now I hope 15yr olds aren't at parties, but they probably are.

Point in case is that this happens ALL OF THE TIME. She found an emotional tamp0n, and that is her plan. Some 15yr old boy who will do what ever for her, and be her slave, and a shoulder to cry on.

Sucks, but that's the way life is. He has no idea what she is doing to him, and will slowly learn the hard way. Then one day tell his story on this board

I hope Im never like this, I'd dread doing this

 

[Omen]

SilverSonnet...

You shouldn't after you've read all two pages on here. I dont think the internet like this was around when I was your age :crackup:

You have more information at your hands now then us older guys ever did when we were your age. If you realize what women do NOW, you can save yourself some headache.

If some hottie who just got out of a relationship comes after you in a year or so and ends up being 18 or 19, you can bet she will be looking for the shoulder to cry on guy. You'll realize what she is doing, and not fall for it.

Or you may be such a DJ by then, that you'll get her chasing you, and she will be like.... Ok, this is odd that I am actually REALLY into this 15 or 16yr old guy. He knows and acts so much different then the other chumps his age.

Then you can come back here and thank the board.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Last night I found that a 15yo friend of mine is dating one of the hottest girls in my social circle (18yo). He's, by all means, an AFC, and very similar to what I was 2/3 years ago. The "bend-over" attitude, the weak voice, heck!, even the glasses...

I should be happy for this brother (and I am), but I must admit that this is like a thorn in my thoughts. I had to crawl my way out of a pit, suffer identity changes (painful so many times) and this guy, who's like my AFC-self from the past, gets the girl. Seriously, this guy had never even kissed a girl, now he's walking around with a bomb-shell around.

I honestly don't get this. WTF is happening here that I am not seeing? Do "niceness" truly wins in the end? LMAO!

What is happening is you are letting external factors (more importantly, the puss) dictacte your reality. Who cares the what/why's of why this chump is with that hottie? At the end of the day, water sinks at its own level, and you will attract whatever you are ready to attract when opportunity knocks.

 

[SinJester]

Thanks for the brilliant posts KontrollerX!

That's weird I've never experianced anything like what you guys are talking about. The only guys who have hot older girlfriends where I'm from are the 'cool alpha' guys that you wouldn't be surprised at anyway. I don't think I've seen older girls go for the young guys so they can stroke their egos, they guy for the older guys because they think they are hot.

Still the sad thing is I used to be like those younger guys. Now when a girl asks me to do something for her she can easily do herself I either tell her to go do it or have a c/f reply, not plannes it just comes naturally. The thing is even if these younger guys are getting used all the other chumps wont know this and he will probably get social proof from it anyway, so it will benafit them short term. The problem is it rewards AFC behaviour so it probably sets them up to being a chump for life.

The thing is I don't use this as a concrete rule. I will give sincere complements when I feel like it, do favours for female friends I know would do the same for me and be nice but charming rather than a jerk. In my opinion these things benafit rather than hurt, because I use to rigidly stick to the DJ Bible 'rules' and it didn't work as well. I was so worried about suplicating that I wouldn't do things when people genuily just wanted help.

I also wanted to add that when some of my 'AFC' friends started getting girls I got pretty upset and it really messed me up for awhile. I was wondering what the hell happened, because I was following the DJ bible and it didn't see to be working but these 'chumps' where getting girls where I wasn't. I began doubting this site althougher and ditched it for a time. I learnt a lot from that. Considering that almost the entire male populations is AFC on some level and they still get laid some things we might scoff at actually work. Guys might be babies inside but they act alpha and get girls. If you have attraction you can get away with a lot of AFC things, I'm not saying you should act AFC, you have to be congruent, but you can open up and show interest if you have enough attraction, it is just that these do not gain attraction as AFC beliefs suggest. So it turns out I wasn't doing nearly as good as I thought, I was lacking inner gaem and real world experiance. These friends thought were AFCs actually had appealing qualities. Not to mention that high school girls are somewhat shallow. It really hits home when you see girls falling for guys they have never really talked to but walked past at lunch and thought they were 'kinda cute'. Then you think 'and I spent all this time learning game!?' Not sure all of that is directly appropriate to the thread but I'm just saying that I've gone through a similar thing and you learn a lot from it. The real world is different to the DJ bible, especially in high school. Let us know how it turns out for him

You're blessed to know about all this at 14, man...

Don't count your chickens before they hatch. I found this website younger! The problem with that was directly linked to my lack of experiance at the time. It definately creates problems when you fill your head with all of this without actual experiance. I am finally seeing the light now though. In some ways I am way ahead of the rest of the guys, but I don't think this will kick in fully untill I leave high school. The path to becomign a DJ isn't linear. It will twist and turn and sometimes you have to fall down for a while in order to reach higher.

Despite that my attitude definately wasn't as enlightened as Ben's seems to be. I wish we had all this 'Power Of NOW' stuff back when I first found this, and that 'inner game' was heard of. I thought c/f was a magic pill, not realising it would be inauthentic for awhile. Knowledge can never directly compensate for experiance, you need both. I'm only just evening it up now. Knowing all this at 14 would have probably changed your life but you might not have been pimpin' the juniour high and you wouldn't be who you are today. I'm not saying finding this young is a bad thing, but it can be if you get to deep into it and have the wrong focus. Ben seems to be on the right track because he is all about self-improvement and removing the ego, what I wish I had found at that age. But I wouldn't change a thing.

Yeah long rant, but I wanted to get that out of me. Sometimes this site is like my person journal

 

[SilverSonnet]

Lol, you guys. Your doing just great, the fact that you found this site at all is a miracle, we each have our own paths. Follow them, trust yourself to be on the right track, and you'll wind up happy
And the reason Im mainly focusing on myself, is 'cos Im abit young to be dating, and there's alot of improving to do

 

[MacAvoy]

I'm going to have to play devils advocate and disagree with what my knowledgable buddy Kontroller is saying. It might be true in this case but I don't know, I don't know this women, I can't make that judgement. But here's my perspective.

No one ever said an AFC can't get ANY action. Just because your AFC doesn't mean your going to die a virgin. What it means is you basically allow women to walk all over you. This women may be all of the things that Kontroller said but we don't know that, the OP never gave us any indication of the things he's claiming.

I think that is one of the problems with the site, we talk about all the negative things about women, how they're self serving etc.... I personally think that is the wrong approach to take in life. Sure its important to know what flags do watch for but I personally think that automatically assuming she's an AW or whatever is putting yourself in the wrong mindset.

Its basically taking a negative view of the world. Its also the same thing that is wrong with the Matrix point of view. Everyone is all about hating the matrix and opting out instead of merely getting ahead and winning in life.

Peace brothers.

 

[ChrizZ]

It happens.

I once knew a guy like that. He looked like a girl and was very feminine with long curly hair.

He dated a super hot HB9 and carried her purse everywhere and basically told her everyday how much he loved her and wrote her poems in class etc...

They got married after high school and she is still madly in love with him, but still walks all over him.

However I believe with every part of my body that she'd never cheat on him.


It's a fvcked up world...

 

[Paper Man]

Great contribution, MacAvoy.

In fact, she's what many of the guys in here would call a "nice girl", and I can say she's definitely a nice person. I'm good friends with her aswell.

I'm actually feeling happy for the guy, lol. I hope they last - I think it'd be good for both.

Funny thing, though... The haters. Man, the guy almost gets harassed by the haters. So many jealous people around it's sick. It's quite impressive how many people will snap when you get ahead of them.

 

[DonGorgon]

No, niceness doesn't win in the end. .

Nothing wins in the end cause women will cheat and leave eventualy anyway...