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Advice - Exboyfriend calling my LTR

eyedogg

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Speeddawg,

You are right. I have fallen flat on my face in this new relationship. I went form super-single - spinning plates like crazy this past summer, to slowing down, to get to know one sexy plate that stood out - her.

In that time, some of her shyt tests, and ex-BF stuff, past history, etc. have really phucked with my head game i.e. my confidence level. It sucks. I am working on building it back up.

Right now we are taking a break in how often we see each other (she has her place and I have mine). She likes a man to lead, to lead in the relationship, to lead in sex, etc. Yet, she is very independent women on her own and how she carries herself, etc. It’s almost contradicting in ways.

This aspect has messed with my head. And believe me gentleman...I was feeling good strong: physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually, etc. I didn’t expect myself to be affected negatively in a matter of three or four months in a committed LTR.

She is one year older then me and has had her share of relationships. She has past LTR's that have turned out to be bad experiences and some become friends. Like most, she is either friends with them or she is not, my count - with out prying, is she is about 60% not friends and 35% friends 5% are like the AFC persistent fool.

Since taking a break, when I am with her, it feels like we are a strong solid couple who we are both now know what caused are ups and downs and it is in the past. We spend our time ravishing each other - doing fun things, relaxing, eating good food, reading, gym, great professional advice for our jobs, etc.

It just started off good, then a few bumps, some shyt tests and past/ex-AFC stuff messes with my head. I feel like she is seeing what my reaction will be, and that she may lose interest if it is a week AFC response. So it's time for me to move forward on this, as the past it the past and I need to just ignore the ex calling. Note even ask about it.
 
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speed dawg

Master Don Juan
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I believe you know what you need to do, just having a hard time seeing it through. We've all been there. It's definitely harder to man up and do your own thing. But, that's what you have to do.

All girls are going to throw the sh1t tests out there, so it's not like your girl is 'bad' or 'playing games'. She's just being a woman. Funny how dependent women really can be on men's actions.

Keep us informed, and good luck.
 

Mr. Me

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What exactly is this alleged test about? Do tell.
 

jophil28

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eyedogg said:
It just started off with a few bumps, has gone good, then some shyte tests and past/ex-AFC stuff messes with my head. I feel like she is seeing if my reaction will be and that she may lose interest if it is a week AFC repsonse. So it's time for me to move forward on this, as the past it the past and I need to just ignore the ex calling. Note even ask.

-eyedogg
I have read all your replies including the last one above. You are still are stuck in the "analysis" of what is going on...

You have been given great advice here, yet you are dithering around in trying to 'decode' what she is doing in her head and what it all means. YOu need to get in your own head for the solution, not scan her's, for indications of what she is thinking.

She, like most women, regard relationships as their "turf"..their playground.
They believe that they know all the tricks and are ENTITLED to shape and manipulate the LTR into a form which is 100% convenient to them.
Make no mistake, women are totally driven by their own agenda,and will perform a variety of actions to ensure the outcome that they feel that they want. ALong the way they 'test' you to evaluate the caliber of man that you really are.

These tests are designed to reveal good enough reasons for her to DISQUALIFY you. IF you reach the 2-3 month mark together ,she has decided (in her graciousness) to keep you in her life as her Boyfriend.

THis dilemma with her ex calling is a tricky one. IF you stay silent, or if you do NOTHING, you will be asssessed as a weakling who is too timid to speak up. IF you get all hissy, then you may be disqualified as hysterical and too "emotional" .
BUt you have to do SOMETHING to send her the message that this situation is UNACCEPTABLE to you and that your involvement in this relationship is at risk..
HOW ? by covertly sending her the message that you are not interested in competing with some guy from her past whom she is NOT discouraging.

Read the various replies again and devise a plan, and then act on it.
Unless you do act, you are sending her message that she can maintain contact with her ghosts from the past ( or draw new orbiters into her life ) and you will just suck it up.

Do it sooner rather than later..
 
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Warrior74

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write his number down. one day when she's not around, give him a call. See what he wants. I bet he will **** his pants and look like this. :eek:
 

Blackmm

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1. Call up her ex
2. Repeat the following:

you: I'm only going to tell you this once. Don't ever call my girl again. You got that?

him : (weak beta male gibberish)

you: Like I said, don't ever call her number again. (click)
 
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