Accused of "manipulating" a girl -- how to deal with this?

[d0g]

Gentlemen,

TLDR: Go to the end for a one-paragraph summary.

I have had an interesting situation arise. I recently managed to rather smoothly get a girl into bed with me, and she happily let me take off her top and bra, but was very insistent about keeping her jeans on.

I tried the recommended SoSuave techniques for overcoming this resistance, especially going back to kissing, fondling her tits, etc., before trying her pants again (especially while she's all hot and bothered). I'd get them unbuttoned, and maybe even down enough to expose her p*ssy, but she'd sigh, give me that, "Really, you're trying again? This is not going to happen." look, and pull her jeans back up. I even attempted some minor freeze-out, by pretending to be tired and bored of this game, and just lying down for a bit.

The very next day, I got her into bed again, and she claimed she felt like she was "being manipulated", i.e. that I was just trying to get into her pants, and that my occasional compliments and general treatment of her were all just a ruse.

I was so taken back by this that I screwed up big-time. I'm still largely an AFC, and have never been accused of manipulating a girl before. Moreover, I'm still in the frame of mind where "manipulation" is a bad thing. So I made a mistake: I told her that nothing could be further from the truth, and that I wouldn't know how to manipulate a girl even if I tried.

This was definitely the wrong answer. This answer lead to a line of discussion that resulted in her finding out how inexperienced I am, and so her interest-level plummeted, and she went from interpreting me as a too-smooth-manipulator-bad-boy to a regular nice-guy-AFC.

So, SoSuave, what is the correct way to deal with this situation?

Summary: in bed, a girl is putting up LMR about you getting her pants off and tells you she feels "manipulated". For the record, I don't think this was an explicit ****-test (i.e. she did genuinely feel manipulated, and didn't just make that up so she could issue a test). How do you respond? What can you say to this to at least forget her qualms for the moment? Is ****-funny the right way to go? Surely not agree-and-amplify, if this is a genuine claim from her, and not just a made-up complaint for the purpose of **** testing?

(Also: I am *not* asking about how to avoid being accused of manipulation in the first place. I think she made this claim because she's known me from before I started learning from SoSuave, so probably the incongruity in my actions caused this problem. Another thing I need to do is move through the kino ladder more systematically, because at the moment I'm skipping steps if I feel like I can, and that's probably causing the girl to not be sufficiently "warmed up".)

Later,
d0g

 

[Dgwizdal]

Tease her about being the bad Influence and that she's trouble. Great way to frame the interaction as her being the instigator in many situations, lighten things up, and have her Gina tingling for more.

 

[D Wolfgang]

This was definitely the wrong answer. This answer lead to a line of discussion that resulted in her finding out how inexperienced I am, and so her interest-level plummeted, and she went from interpreting me as a too-smooth-manipulator-bad-boy to a regular nice-guy-AFC.

Why would you answer her questions in that situation? Had she hogtied you and brandished a nutcracker?

 

[Skyline]

"You know... every girl ive talked to says that when they start to have feelings for me.."

Then continue. That line works for a lot of situations. I feel as if your answer would have worked too if you kept it playful and not serious. But then again maybe shes self entitled.

 

[d0g]

Why would you answer her questions in that situation? Had she hogtied you and brandished a nutcracker?

I know, I know. I was taken aback by the question though, since I'd never been accused of anything like that before, so I panicked and said the first thing I could think of "to get myself out of trouble". Unfortunately, as with most things in game, my natural response makes things worse.

 

[d0g]

"You know... every girl ive talked to says that when they start to have feelings for me.."

Then continue. That line works for a lot of situations. I feel as if your answer would have worked too if you kept it playful and not serious. But then again maybe shes self entitled.

Are you sure about this? This sounds like playing with fire: she's already just accused me of being too smooth, and this line just seems like the epitome of smoothness.

 

[user name]

Are you sure about this? This sounds like playing with fire: she's already just accused me of being too smooth, and this line just seems like the epitome of smoothness.

It's all about mindset. With the right mindset you would have agreed that you were manipulating her and continued with the deed.

There's no point reeling off lines that suggest a player's mindset if you are coming from a desperate and needy mindset. You're not going to fool anyone. Least of all yourself.

No. What needs to be done is some major rewiring. Go on POF, get as many numbers as you can with absolutely no intention of meeting anyone. That always helps with scarcity mindsets and boosts confidence. Plus it drives women crazy and they will want you more as a result.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Never attempt damage control with any girl. Your attitude should always be --> This is me.. take it or leave it.

If her interest level has dropped then move onto the next girl and don't be so beta this next time.

The correct response to her when she said she felt "manipulated" is something along the lines of: "Okay..." or no response at all.

Fun Fact --> You don't have to respond or react to EVERYTHING a woman says/does. :crackup:

You are not responsible for the batsh!t whimsical emotions of a woman. I never hold myself responsible for how a woman "feels" or anyone else for that matter.

 

[d0g]

The correct response to her when she said she felt "manipulated" is something along the lines of: "Okay..." or no response at all.

Thanks -- that's an option I didn't consider at all. Certainly it would have been better than what I did!

It's pretty bold to just ignore the concerns of a girl who's feeling emotionally compromised, but I suppose I'll have to get used to it. It's such a knee-jerk reaction built into us from childhood that we should try to do damage control though, so kicking the habit is hard!