About to break up with my girlfriend - Really torn up about it.

[solidstate]

So I've been dating this girl for 10 month now and the relationship's followed the EXACT course I've seen countless times over the last couple of days doing research on this forum:

At first she was head over heels for me, the sex was great and frequent. I soon became too clingy (I didn't know any better then) and pushed her away to the point where she's reluctant to show any affection whatsoever now. We've been having small disagreements recently and I've avoided seeing her the last couple of days whilst I sort out my priorities (I didn't tell her this, I said I had work to do). We started talking on Facebook today and she revealed to me that she's bored with everything, bored with her life in general including our relationship.

This lead to me getting somewhat annoyed although I didn't show it to her as I thought that her intention might be to start an argument in order to create an excuse to dump me. I told her I was going to bed, that was about 2 hours ago and since then I've come to the conclusion that I need to break up with her before she dumps me. The problem is I really think I love this girl and don't want to end things, I'm worried that I'll ***** out or worse, regret my decision afterwards.

Is this relationship salvageable at all or should I burn it to the ground whilst I still can?

I just wish I'd known at the start what I know now about relationships and maybe I wouldn't of ****ed this up so badly...

 

[TheSlasher]

If she hasn't talked about or dropped a name of a guy in your conversations, the whole thing is quite salvagable.

But here's the trick: Don't think about saving it, and don't think about breaking up either. You're very emotional right now so you don't want to decide on anything. Just let it sit and decide tomorrow, and then when that day comes tomorrow again.

Just BREAK YOURSELF AWAY FROM EVERYTHING THAT DISTRACTS YOU. Focus on yourself, find your passion, work out, make yourself. If you suddenly had that urge to contact her because of some high that you experienced working out, don't do it. Remember that you are just as emotional on that moment as you are when you're experiencing the low.

If she ever happens to talk to you, don't respond. Really, DON'T. In fact, what you should be doing is talking to new girls. You'll realize things if you do that.

You have forgotten what it's like to live without her. You are almost thinking that you can't live without her. Now this is the golden chance to prove yourself and make yourself move otherwise because the opportunity is TOO REAL. Once you've "regained" your own strength (you'll feel it, you will not necessarily feel invincible and immortal, but you will feel it), you might not know exactly what to do next, but you'll be confident enough to get yourself through whatever is coming after.

 

[No.Danny]

Start no contact immediately. Talk to other girls and try getting dates it'll make it much easier.
This realtoinship you're in is not healthy and you know that. Don't break up with her, just never reply or call or meet with her again

 

[Greasy Pig]

Women never seem to take responsibly for nurturing and maintaining relationships.
Instead they just dump all the responsibility for effort in the man's lap by saying shyt like "I'm bored with the relationship. Entertain me!"
I'm a strong advocate of dropping a fvcking nuclear bomb and calling their bluff. Suggest to her that if she bored and unwilling to make an effort in the relationship, it's probably best to part ways.
The upside is that you'll snap her out of her fantasy land and she'll not want to let you go.
The downside is that she'll agree with you. But at least you've taken some control and asserted yourself.
Men have needs too, if a woman isn't making an effort to meet those needs, she needs to be told.
If her behaviour doesn't change dramatically, she needs to be dumped.

 

[Dgwizdal]

When she pulls away you pull away more. Her attraction for you is close to the no return zone. Women crave excitement, drama, and emotion. Give her a taste of what she's been missing because of your overly affectionate AFC smothering. Dump her - she'll be wrapped around your balls harder than ever.

From the way your post reads you have already lost this battle as she knows she has you and you are completely terrified to lose her...

You can always get back together but in order to reestablish your frame completely and regain all the ground you have lost - you need a drastic change. Dumping her make her hamster spin itself to death and if played correctly, you will be able to get back together on YOUR terms and hopefully, you will not make the same mistakes again.

If you don't nuke this situation - you will be riding this trainwreck to the heartbroken end. PM me if you decide to sack up and pull the plug. I will tell you where to go from there.

 

[hudpes]

I would take the exact route of theslasher (repped!), for starters.

Greasy Pig's option is more violent and unforseeable. You would have to be in the right state of mind to pull it off without collapsing if it backfires, which I think you are not.

No.Danny offers a third option, which I would be hesitant to take, as dating other girls while you're in love with someone who's become completely indifferent to you can make you feel morbidly empty, and you're going in other relationships with your head messed up, you're not doing yourself a favor and it's unfair to your dates, they're not rent-a-bikes, they're people with feelings.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Women never seem to take responsibly for nurturing and maintaining relationships.
Instead they just dump all the responsibility for effort in the man's lap by saying shyt like "I'm bored with the relationship. Entertain me!"
I'm a strong advocate of dropping a fvcking nuclear bomb and calling their bluff. Suggest to her that if she bored and unwilling to make an effort in the relationship, it's probably best to part ways.
The upside is that you'll snap her out of her fantasy land and she'll not want to let you go.
The downside is that she'll agree with you. But at least you've taken some control and asserted yourself.
Men have needs too, if a woman isn't making an effort to meet those needs, she needs to be told.
If her behaviour doesn't change dramatically, she needs to be dumped.

Yup exactly because they want the man to do all the work in the relationship since that is why the man is expected to be the dominant one, be the leader in the relationship

 

[stevo]

I actually think you should go a different path from what others suggest.

Be her friend again, she's reaching out to you not because she wants it to end, if she did, she would have just called it off. She's trying to give you heads up while also hoping you take charge.

Take her out again, take walks and sheet.

BUT immediately start seeing other girls too, don't fvck em yet but start lining up possibles just incase things don't work out with ol girl.

Don't be so quick to give up and don't let your ego control you by ''breaking up first''.

 

[gravityeyelids]

This is not life. This is a giant game. This is a chess match, a poker game, a tennis match, and you are the underdog. Strategy is everything. Making bold, intelligent, smart moves is imperative.

She's giving you very clear signals of what is going to happen. She is growing bored and it is your fault. Even if it's not your fault, and it's entirely her fault, it is always your fault.

You can take the safe road, make half measures and I will tell you exactly what will happen:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPk3TN81y_c

In this scene, you are Mike, and the abusive boyfriend is your girl. That's exactly what will happen if you take half measures and dont have the spine to follow through and walk away from her. She will beg and plead and promise to work at the relationship, but if you give in....two weeks later...best case scenario: you are going to be exactly where you are now...worst case (and realistic case scenario): she dumps you flat and shatters your heart.

You need to have the spine to let her know that you are walking away. She WILL come crawling back. And then it's up to you to decide whether to take her back. Before you do...i highly encourage you to break contact for at least a week or two or until you get laid with another girl...whichever comes first. Chances are you'll feel differently about her.

 

[Dgwizdal]

The only advice you should take here is mine, gravitys, and greasys. What's up with these fvckin newbs on here tryin to give advice to be her friend. What the fvck has happened to sosuave. You don't have the innergame to pull this back together and it shows. Eject, no contact, work on yourself, and youll have a fresh start and the right frame with her or without cause this ballgame is over.

 

[latinnova]

Women never seem to take responsibly for nurturing and maintaining relationships.
Instead they just dump all the responsibility for effort in the man's lap by saying shyt like "I'm bored with the relationship. Entertain me!"
I'm a strong advocate of dropping a fvcking nuclear bomb and calling their bluff. Suggest to her that if she bored and unwilling to make an effort in the relationship, it's probably best to part ways.
The upside is that you'll snap her out of her fantasy land and she'll not want to let you go.
The downside is that she'll agree with you. But at least you've taken some control and asserted yourself.
Men have needs too, if a woman isn't making an effort to meet those needs, she needs to be told.
If her behaviour doesn't change dramatically, she needs to be dumped.

^^^^^^^^ listen to the man, great advice! It's exactly how woman are. If u don't believe it now then you will be forced to swallow the red pill soon enough, and it's gonna hurt.

 

[Big Nuts]

You have to come across as a person who can live with or without her. No matter how strong, successful, and independent a woman is, she is still looking for a man she can respect, look up to, and admire.

In her search for an assertive man, she will test your limits. If you don't have any, because you are afraid of losing her, then she will walk all over you. Once she sees you as weak, predictable, dependent and needy, all chances for romance with this woman stops.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

You have to come across as a person who can live with or without her. No matter how strong, successful, and independent a woman is, she is still looking for a man she can respect, look up to, and admire.

In her search for an assertive man, she will test your limits. If you don't have any, because you are afraid of losing her, then she will walk all over you. Once she sees you as weak, predictable, dependent and needy, all chances for romance with this woman stops.

I was reading online that the cold harsh truth is that being needy and desperate are feminine things, but yet I often hear of men being turned off by desperate and needy women, I know I am unless if it is sex with a model, but constant calling and texting that's too much