A year later. I need some perspective please.

[johnballantine02]

Alright, so this is where I currently am.

I have made a great deal of progress from one year ago. I actually went to a party(reluctantly though) for new years and I had a good time. One of the few times I've been to one.

I have gained like 40+ pounds and no longer look skinny and feminine. I have opened myself up quite a bit, generally stopped caring what people think of me, I have a more positive outlook on life and I am so much more confident when talking to chicks now, its not that big of a deal to me. I'm also doing well in college right now, something knowone ever thought was possible.


Now all the things that are still ****ed that need changing:

Generally, I just don't have that underlying drive to go out and actively pick up a girl. Yet I beat myself down for not having a girl, especially when I see friends or people I know with their girls. I also suck at talking to new people because I really don't care about what they have to say usually(some of you will understand what I mean). I have run into so many stupid people(I know it sounds very pessimistic) but I'm sick of people not knowing whats going on in the world, or whats important.

Still haven't asked a girl out or even gone sarging
No girlfriend
Few friends
Still too shy
Suck at making friends with guys(I have two sisters and was pretty AFC)
Get ****blocked easy and backoff because I suck at joking with guys
My style is ****ed right now I'm stuck between my old skater style and the more mature casual dress style I'm trying to get into


When I look at everything that has happened in the last year, its pretty amazing how far I have come yet I know that I could have done way more.

I need some help, some tips or something. Could someone please help me with this. My goal is to go out with many women, but in the long run to get into an LTR. I want that connection I see my friends have with their gals(not to sound like an AFC). So please help me figure this all out and if you could give me some ideas for achieving my goal that would be awesome.

 

[quest]

don't mean to be harsh..
life wise, you sound as tough your heading in the right direction.

- +40 pounds
- good marks

girl wise you sound AFC, with the desperation you want a girl, and the connection, but not having the confidence to pursue.

only wanting the one girl also sounds AFC, BUT really, it isn't. so i'll let you off there..

keep working at your life, and the rest will follow.

keep reading here, stay motivated.
your definently making progress for the better mate.

my only advice when it comes to that LTR you want.

Fools rush in.

and from my personal experience, when you read things here and you know that you would give certain advice, don't look at your case and say "oh this is different." i did that with my girlfriend, it wasn't.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

And that's why alot of guys fail they look for close freindship in women when they should be looking for sex or relationships.They put alot of stock into females then they get hurt or they fail in seducing them.

You're still in school so that right there is a the place you'll make all your freinds.

The trick to making guy freinds is spending alot of time with them-You have to prove yourself and you have to make plans and go out.

I can be real cool was said guy be he might not be as cool with me as they guy I play hoops with on sundays's you know?

There's has to be some connection there or guys won't trust you.

Honestly I don't see how you can NOT make guy friends. All you have to do is talk and stick by their sides.

But at the same time alot of guys are jealous losers so watch your back carefully and don't listen to every Joe Blow's opinion of you.

That's the price you pay if you're a player men get jealous and women don't trust you.

At the end of the day I'd choose my freinds cuz women will leave you at the drop of a hat.It has to be some serious sh!t for my buddies to turn there backs on me.

 

[Double]

-you dont have to be really interested in people you get to know. just have some fun with them but you dont have to take them serious(but dont show it!). the more people you know the bigger the chance that you will meet cool guys through friends of their friends friends or so.....also you will meet girls......

-i dont recommend a LTR for you at the moment. chances are that you flip back to your old behaviour if you are in "Love" again. If you want a girl so bad than take one average you arent really attracted to and dump her after a while.....dont let that love thang ruin your life.......you ain't ready for that......first BEING HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOURSELF and than second love.

-when your attidude changes your clothes change and vice versa. the skater look is not the way to go but neither is the conserative look.....go find your own style

-read books like think and grow rich....that will improve your mind

-you can take up martial arts.....gives you even more confidence and you will make friends becaus of common interest there

-gratz for the 40pounds

 

[johnballantine02]

when your attidude changes your clothes change and vice versa. the skater look is not the way to go but neither is the conserative look.....go find your own style

What do you mean by that? I think faded jeans, nice shirt and a nice casual/dress jacket is very GQish and stylin.

 

[Double]

some examples what i like:

jeans

shirt

and leather shoes (but without shoe ribbon)

a nice dress jacket is good if you like it, personally i prefer jeans/leather jackets


and watch that the colours fit

 

[don_hollow_juan]

Props on gaining those pounds- that's a damn good start.
I would recommend you to change your music flava- start looking for something more, let's say, fueling your testosterone/energy/anger- so you can convert in into work of some sort. Cos for me, music was really a big issue- I was always listening to depressive songs, which certainly reflected on my social image and overall personality AND I realized that I'm wasting my time doing nothing so I started putting my acting and writing skills to use. I don't remember who said it (it's in the DJB), but man, YOU GOTTA MOVE WITH THE GROOVE. That's one easy way to feel good AND believe me, as soon as you'll start feeling real good, getting girls and s--t won't seem so important.

Best wishes, DHJ.

 

[johnballantine02]

Anyone got any motivating words?


This is awesome this babe just invited me to the club on Thursday. Can't wait.

Only thing is I don't dance...uhhh.

 

[johnballantine02]

Bump

 

[TizZle]

Man I wish i could gain 40 lbs(gained abouit 7 in 3 weeks myself). Props for that. If i were you i'd try focusing on having fun around girls and try some kino. I ass kino'd this girl a little bit at the new year's party i was at and she didn't mind at all, but i didn't escalate for some reason and she went off with another guy. Sounds like you need to display some qualities so that girls are attracted to you.