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A simple and practical guide to an approach

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by Adonis, Jun 22, 2001.

  1. Adonis

    Adonis Master Don Juan

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    In a society such as ours it's assumed that a man has to be the one to approach women. Unfortunately, even though there are more women in this planet than there are men, women always have more chance with a man than the other way around. It's to women's advantage because it was given to them by our society, they get to pick and we constantly line ourselves out in the firing range ready to get shot down. Those hapless guys are blessed with long lonely nights with nothing else to entertain them but their callused right hand.

    Knowing this, it should come to no surprise that there are plenty of men who are afraid to approach women. Add to this the fact that women don't like to be approached and we have a no win situation. But, fear not gents for I will share some insights I've learned throughout the years. However you should know first that women do not make you complete and the only person you should always shower with attention is yourself.

    On to the basics:

    1. It's you and all you
    Obviously you need a lot confidence to approach women and how you gain this confidence is up to you. The easy way to gather confidence is to really put more effort onto yourself. What do I mean by this? Well, spend time building up the things that make you a unique person. What makes you stand-out from the rest of the world? Why would she choose you over millions of other losers out there? Focus on your strong points and support it at all times.

    2. It's all about the groom
    No, I don't mean getting married as in bride and groom. What I mean is give your body the attention it deserves. Dress up like a decent character and spend time grooming yourself. Your body be your shrine. Go to the gym and start putting some effort into staying fit and looking good. Women really do put more emphasis on looks more than they'd care to admit. First impressions comes first when she looks at you, so it should be obvious that she is judging you by the way you look. So pick up your pink leotards and hit the gluteal machine.

    3. No fear of rejection
    This is the biggest problem for most guys - caused by lack of #1 above. Just don't take this personally. We face rejection throughout our lives - rejected from a job offer, parents, school, etc., When you're approaching a woman, you're approaching a stranger and she doesn't know you. If she rejects you, don't take it personally. Their could be variable reasons why she would reject you - already committed, don't want to be approached, bad hair day, PMS, and so on. Don't take it personally, it not a reflection of you but of her mood and your approach. It's her loss not yours.


    Things to know before you go:

    The true experts of the approach is women. Why? because they've seen it all. Women get approached by the sleaziest fruicakes out there and are therefore on the defensive. Knowing this, when you do approach women just know that you are invading their personal space, so show some respect and make it light fellas. Besides, regardless of how you mask or hide your intentions she already knows what you're after.

    Some girls are just out to have fun. Even if they elicit the attention of men, women that are just out with their friends to have fun. They're out to have a good time and to forget about men in some cases, so more than likely they don't want to be approached - so you have to know when to approach and when not to.

    Approach, approach, approach:

    Don't be intimidated by beautiful women. They eat, crap, and sleep just like you and me. They have feelings, desires, and problems just like normal people do. So take them off that pedestal and put them on your level.

    Approach only when you get the initial eye contact. If you walk up to her without her noticing you first, you're setting yourself up for the big R. After the eye contact show her your beautiful smile - when she smiles back that's your que, have at em' Cassanova.

    Just do it. Even if you know women hate to get picked up, just do it. Use humor and confidence to your advantage. If you say soething funny it will break the ice and get the conversation going. Don't be serious, she's out to have a good time and so should you.

    Be subtle about your approach, talk about light subjects and don't talk about money or your personal problems. Ask her open ended questions to keep the conversation going. Don't shower her compliments, if you must give a compliment give a compliment that is not directed to her looks. Do not make comments about her breast size or hip curves.

    Don't let a group of women stop you. If the girl of your dreams is surrounded by her friends approach her anyways. Get initial eye contact, smile then approach the group. Introduce yourself to everyone and get take her somewhere where only you two could talk - kindly say: "Excuse me ladies, but could I borrow her for second?". Take her hand and lead.

    --And never forget: "What's your home phone number?"


    Practice, practice, practice:

    Like I said practice. Practice talking to complete strangers and gain some social skills - which is very essential to your survival. Better social skills equals better women.

    This is only half the battle of the dating war. The rest is up to you, but you are given the foundation from which you can stand on. Go get em' tiger.


    [This message has been edited by Adonis (edited 06-22-2001).]
     
    suave sauce likes this.
  2. Sgt. Ray

    Sgt. Ray Don Juan

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    Good post, Adonis --lots of sold info.

    I might add to the confidence-building process approaching all kinds of women in all kinds of situations, not just prospective pickups. Since you're not trying to hook up there's no pressure. As you get better with approaching and making conversation, your confidence will improve.
     
  3. FGarcia1

    FGarcia1 Senior Don Juan

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    Oh, thank God this guy hasn't left yet... Good words to live by.
     
  4. New Jersey Sam

    New Jersey Sam Banned

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    It's just a load of waffle. It doesn't really help on the approach when the only thing most people worry about is what to say - and strangely enough, all your "wonderful" articles never tell people what to say or talk about..oh but they can preach not to talk about sex or personal problems. Well, that helps... [​IMG]

    AND

    "Women really do put more emphasis on looks more than they'd care to admit."

    ???

    I saw advice from this site totally contradicting this yesterday.
     
  5. Adonis

    Adonis Master Don Juan

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    Yeah sure, I want butter and maple syrup to go with those waffles please...

    I didn't know I had other wonderful "articles" where is it and what are you referring to?

    If you need help about little diaglogues then you really need a lot of help. What're you gonna do memorize some script that somebody came up with?!? It comes as common sense - what to talk about?!? Geez, talk about the current situation, current events, current happenings in town, current concerts, her current interests, her style - things that are light and friendly that doesn't stir up any arguments - C'mon you gotta have more intelligence that this? You're smart enough to talk about things aren't you? Besides, diferent situations calls for different conversation - you're not always going to be saying the same thing and you're not always going to be asking the same questions. There could thousands of probable situations - what to talk about could depend on the situation and place. That's why it doesn't make sense to tell anyone specific things to say or talk about.


    ----------------------------------
    "Women really do put more emphasis on looks more than they'd care to admit."

    ???

    I saw advice from this site totally contradicting this yesterday
    ----------------------------------

    I didn't know I said something that contradicts what I just said. Just because someone else wrote it in this site doesn't mean I agree with it. Look around you, if women really didn't care about looks then why are they screaming for guys that look like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise?!?



    [This message has been edited by Adonis (edited 06-23-2001).]
     
  6. New Jersey Sam

    New Jersey Sam Banned

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    I'm rubbish when it comes to conversations though, and it's hard when the girl is too (as they usually are).

    Sorry if I assumed you had said somewhere that looks don't matter. I get the impression this site is like a clique, so I presumed that everyone agrees that looks don't matter.

    I feel like an outsider ehre.
     
  7. Vienna Sausage

    Vienna Sausage Don Juan

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    New Jersey Sam has to be a chick. This is ridiculous.
     
  8. Neophyte

    Neophyte Master Don Juan

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    Adonis,

    Thnx for the good post out here man! Even with the fact I'm now aware of all the knowledge you explained here so well, I still enjoyed reading it! I will keep on practising and go for the next step: ask the number after a good conversation. (cfr. post 'Damn, I will eat the fruitcake...")

    New Jersey Sam,

    this is what Adonis means by the word PRACTICE! It's not just a word, you have to DO IT!!! So practice and remember the good and the bad things you tried when talking to girls.

    After many practice you've gained enough practice to 'create' a flawless conversation!!!

    Just START talking and INITIATE a conversation. Make it meaningful thou.

    Cya,
    Neo


    [This message has been edited by Neophyte (edited 06-23-2001).]
     
  9. New Jersey Sam

    New Jersey Sam Banned

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    OK I'll try it tonight, it will probably get me nowhere though with the chick.
     
  10. bclarke675

    bclarke675 Master Don Juan

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    NewJerseySam, the first thing you have to do is adopt a positive outlook. If you go into a conversation thinking you're going to fail, you will! Comment on something unique or eye-catching she's wearing. That should get her started talking about herself, which is what you want. Listen carefully to her and she will give you clues as to what to talk about. This also makes it clear that you are interested in her as a person (not just an object). Then, don't forget to get her home phone number. If you run out of things to say, ask her to dance (if applicable) or tell her you need to check on a friend and you'll be right back. Give yourself a chance to think and catch your breath, because you may be too excited to think by this point. When you come back, check for eye contact first BEFORE approaching her again. This is your ticket back to being with her. Good luck.
     
  11. is can the ray czar

    is can the ray czar Don Juan

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    Although this seems like a very good advice, you said be subtle. Won't this shine like a blinking red light on an instruments panel?
     
  12. Raingem

    Raingem Senior Don Juan

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    edited

    [This message has been edited by Raingem (edited 08-26-2001).]
     
  13. Survivor

    Survivor Master Don Juan

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    I'm printing this one out.

    Its great to have you back, Adonis.
     
  14. JuanWannabe

    JuanWannabe Don Juan

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    "Hey ladies! Did you know that florescent light can last more than a 100 times longer than a conventional light bulb, you know I had a 20 watt light bulb in my lounge once, it was the funniest thing when one day..."

    hehehe, just messing around.

    Great post Adonis! Lots of useful info, I've been thinking a lot about my life recently and I came up with a number of ideas you mentioned, I'm glad that I'm on the right track!

    Cheers
    JuanWannabe
     
  15. Lexomatic

    Lexomatic Don Juan

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    This is for those few who are sceptical about the worth of advice such as this.

    Yes, there is a lack of specific detail like "what to actually say" or "exactly how to approach". To be honest, I didnt find much use for such advice either, at first. Then I went out and tried some of it, badly. Then I came back and read it again. somehow the advice made more sense. Then out I went again, came back with a few more scars, and I re-read it again.

    Do you see the pattern forming here? "Field experience is 10-times worth more than book learning", my old grandad used to say (well, I think its what he said, my German was never that good - actually, come to think of it, he could have said "pass the onions"....)

    As Adonis said, "Practice, practice, practice", and thats what its all about, and not "read, read, read" then walk out understanding it all the first time you try. As my old grandad used to say, "you dont win a war by sitting in the trenches" (Hmm, that could actually have been "never trust a french ***** when you are blind drunk", damn my bad German!).

    Lex
     
  16. SoSuave.com

    SoSuave.com Administrator

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    Tips forum.
     
  17. ChrisFl

    ChrisFl Master Don Juan

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    > To be honest, I didnt find much use for such advice either, at first. Then I went out and tried some of it, badly.

    OK, so when / where/ how do you do it? I think that's why people are asking about specifics, because it sounds like "get out there", which is pretty vague.
     
  18. syncmaster

    syncmaster Master Don Juan

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    agreed... but I don't want to make any foes.
    If you really are here to seek information. You're welcome to stay and I hope we can help youl.



    ------------------
    Syncmaster signing out.
    a.k.a ... Adam
     
  19. Lexomatic

    Lexomatic Don Juan

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    Yeah, I do agree with you on that point, Chris. But I think the problem with fine details is that you'd be hard pressed to cover all the real-life possibilities.

    You know what I wish I had right now? A master DJ who'd get out there with me in the field. He'd give pointers, badger me and kick me when I did something stupid, and encourage me when I did something right.

    This site is really only a semi-interactive self-help guidebook. I can go out, try something I've read about, then come back here afterwards and get some advice. But its limited directly by my ability to explain what happened to me. And if I dont know what Im doing to begin with, explaining what happened is all the harder.

    Yes, "Get out there" doesn't say squat. It doesnt say where "there" is, nor what do I do when I get "there". If this was a classroom, I would replace "Get out there" with an assignment for the week. "As this is the start of the semester of Don Juan 101, this week's assignment is for you all to get out there and be rejected 10 times." If all us budding DJs could motivate ourselves to do that, a lot more of the advice on this board would start to make sense.

    Lex
     
  20. ChrisFl

    ChrisFl Master Don Juan

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    >If this was a classroom, I would replace "Get out there" with an assignment for the week.

    That's what I've been trying to figure out lately- some kind of assignment- just need to get the where/when/how.

    >be rejected 10 times

    No fun there. How about being accepted once?
     

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