A quick way to become a Don Juan

[Ragnar]

After having read the DJ bible and most of the posts I have come to the conclusion that this site is extremely valuable.

I read in a book somewhere the name escapes me that the easiest way to put all of the DJ tactics and personas to use is to use this little trick:

IF anyone knows what book this is from pleez post the name it would be valuable to all.

Most guys believe if they "have" a thing (more money, good looks, nice car etc), then they can finally "do" a thing (get laid, pick up tons of chicks, be the envy of everyone, most popular etc..), which will allow them to "be" a thing (happy, peaceful, content, or in love).

In actuality, they are reversing the Be-Do-Have paradigm. In the universe as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is), "havingness" does not produce "beingness," but the other way around.

First you "be" the thing called "SUCCESSFUL" (or CONFIDENT, COURAGEOUS, PRINCE CHARMING, THE MAN EVERYONE WANTS TO BE, ), then you start "doing" things from this place of beingness -- and soon you discover that what you are doing winds up bringing you the things you've always wanted to "have." (GET LAID, PICK UP CHICKS, BE THE ENVY OF EVERYONE,more money, nice car, be happier.

i FEEL that this would help everyone who is trying to become a Don Juan.

1. Become what you want to attract.
2. then DO what you love to do
3. then you will attract everything you want into your life.

This was my first post.

 

[Croat]

hello!!

first to say you hi and welcome here, I am pretty new here and I like it wery much.
we can learn a lot and help the other boys with their problems.

just want to tell you that you are right about that paradima be-do-have. not only here that works in life...

I had try the ''have-do-be'' and it don't work

enjoy man!!

 

[Sting]

You might be speaking about the following book:

Conversations With God: an uncommon dialogue, Book 3, Page 14-17

Below is also another article I found that espouses what you've described:

"Be who you have to Be,
so that you can Do what you have to Do,
in order to Have what you want to Have.
That is all of coaching in a nutshell: Be-Do-Have"
-master coach

If I were to take to heart this profound advice, I would first start by imagining myself to be a writer/editor who could heal and empower by clicks of a keyboard. Then I would do what that kind of person does: write freely with faith. Then and only then, would I have what I want: a feeling of a job well done, and the knowledge that my readers will have breakthroughs via these very words.

Now, for the analysis: does this be-do-have formula work?!

You bet. I feel fabulous.

However, an even more important question here is: will this formula work for you?

I could try to prove this formula until I'm blue in the face..."ever notice how you sing better when you pretend to be Frank Sinatra, or that your best golf game comes after you fantasize about being a player at the U.S. Open?"... and you'll probably get it. Although the skeptic in you might not believe this link between being and doing... It isn't quite scientific. Or is it?

But let me also ask you this: if you believed yourself to be a 'procrastinator,' would you get more than the necessities done today? How about if you decided to think of yourself as a "Mover and Shaker," what might you accomplish instead?

Still another way to approach this is to look at who we currently believe ourselves to be. And then to ask ourselves: what kind of life would that kind of person have?

Now look around.

Hopefully the answer now is coming clear. Who we believe ourselves to be is powerfully directive of how we act. And how we act determines what we have in this life in terms of experience, possessions, relationships, emotion, and more...

So if you want more of the same, think of yourself as that same kind of character you've been contemplating for years. If you want something different, something more, something better, than expand your self-analysis, and activate your imagination.

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

There are no such thing as shortcuts. You become a Don Juan by hard work and by gradually changing yourself over time.

 

[Ragnar]

Thanks Sting.

That was an excellent post.

As for Guitar Whizz, I realize that there are not any quick fixes however when you begin to change your thinking you do get an immediate change in your personality that will shine through to the other person. Moreover, the idea of "being" what you want will attract more of what you want etc..

 

[Mack Of All Trades]

YEAH, there are NO magic pills to being a DJ.

 

[Ragnar]

Easy Jack off of all trades!

We all realize there is no magic bullet but the advice is still relevant.

 

[reardonh]

Is that book worth it or is it just that one chapter?

 

[Ragnar]

The whole book is worth it as far as I can remember.

I'll look for it.

 

[Nocturnal]

first of all i dont think you're talking about that book sting said, but the 7 habits of highly effective people.

2nd of all he says repeatedly that there is no quick fix way, like smiling or changing your attitude. he says those are secondary things and you have to change the primary ones (like fairness, confidence) before you can actually make the change and smile naturally or be charming without consciously changing your innate personality.

there is no quick way to make permanent changes, solve problems, or initiate growth when it comes to your personality.