I only succeed because I don't fear failing.
Let me use an analogy that might clear things up. Let us compare Don Juaning to... writing.
There are many wannabe writers. They are all scared of rejection (though they won't admit it to themselves). In their minds, they seem themselves as a
writer, will read everything on writing and write on their own. In th end, though, they must put out a manuscript or forever be caught in some 'dream'.
Many writers believe that they will become great by focusing on their 'game', oops, I mean
craft. They use ACTION verbs everywhere and focus on a STYLE. "Style" they say, "it is all about style." So it is no wonder that we get tons of books that offer no insight into Human nature or life itself. What do you call books that have no real value except they might be readable? That's right, trash.
The major writers I've heard mock and make fun of those who go after the 'style' approach (just as older, successful people, mock and make fun of the people who go the pure 'style' approach). I remember Orson Scott Card telling me how silly and insane the little 'creative writing classes' are and that really nothing learned in college will 'help' one become a writer. The best thing one does is to go out, experience life, and look around, not to be cooped up in a solitary room.
My professors hold up a book like Elements of Style like a holy grail. Someone like Card thinks the book is 'evil'. "Pook, you have all these young writers trying to develop a 'style'. But style is not the arrangement of words and phrases, but the genuine voice of the writer himself." Writing is communication. The more phrases and 'happy words' you put in, the worse it becomes. Writing isn't about word management; it is about putting your vision directly into the reader. (The same is true with Don Juaning! Don Juaning is making your own vision of life appear in the way you want, not to play silly games and play with 'styles'.) There were really popular books such as Uncle Tom's Cabin and others that are UNREADABLE today. Why? Card says that the writer spent his time
showing off stylistically and the work does not stand the test of time.
All this 'style reading' and 'word management' just gets in the way of writing. In the same way, seduction and constant 'strategies' and 'philosophies' on women get in the way of life.
There is no such thing as a perfect life. It is just life. You already have a core of identity. You already have your dreams, ambitions, and wishes. If you change those, you risk losing what makes you
you. You risk losing your soul.
Today , i was talking with this girl that i've bumped into by luck , when we were talking , i wasn't really with her , i was thinking "oh shall you listen or talk now , nooo nooo you gotta have fun , it's another girl in my girls weeding game , she's showing signs now , noo nooo u should focus on yourself , you shouldn't be thinking or analyzing how she thinks ? But How do u make a move on her ?? By being a man , asking her out etc...... u see the desire is destroying everything , when i came here at a time these desire was contained by either being desireless and having fun Or dividing the steps by focusing on the moment ( but you have on the back of your mind the following steps as a result your confident of taking the Action)
Actually, HBhunter, I think A LOT of guys here have that same prob..
Let me tell you a story. There was this young boy that, for whatever reason, started crying. He cried and cried. Then, all of a sudden, he stopped, reflected on what he was doing, and resumed crying.
It was as if when he stopped, he gave himself a title of 'Boy... Crying'.
Within everyone, there is a personality that sees things from the outside. When you are about to do something stupid, this personality will tell you, "What are you doing!? ARE YOU STUPID?" And you stop.
Or if you fail at something, you need to know why to fix it. This personality, that sees things from the outside, will think about it and come up with some answer. That is its job.
But what if a massive problem occurs, say failing with women? The guy is burnt, burnt in a way that he's never been hurt before. This personality thinks and thinks and tries to come up with an answer. It has no answer. So eventually it finds new material, seduction knowledge, sosuave, etcetera etcetera. It gobbles up all this information.
The risk is letting this personality grow and develop that it overcomes the other traits you have. What you end up with is not a Don Juan but someone constantly second guessing himself, or someone constantly analyzing women (I'm guilty of this). Life itself just slips away.
There are other routes this personality grows and devours the rest of the person. The most common is the
philosopher who reads constantly, of everything and anything, who loves plays and shows because he is given an omniscient view of that world. Shakespeare, rightfully, condemned these guys with their 'weepy' eyes. In
As You Like It, Jaques, who gives out the famous soliquy of 'The Seven Ages of Man, ends up condemned in the play. He is the only one who does not marry, who is so melancholy that he must stay in the forest (into Nature) until he 'humanizes' himself.
Don't let this personality devour your life. Kill it. You already know everything anyone can say about women, life, etc. But it's that side of you that wants more, that keeps second guessing.
Roll the bones. Take a break from this site and all reading on women.
If I were given the choice of:
-Being super successful with women because I studied and analyzed everything about them but have no real joy in it.
OR
-Being successful now and then because I love exploring the hopes and possibilities of life
I would choose the second one. Why? Because I've done the former. Women aren't life. And when you study and study about women, what happens? Women CEASE to be a joy and becomes a JOB. You will find yourself hesitating because "it seems like so much work!"
It is important to protect your heart, to deal with women so you won't get used or walked on, to maximize your own potential for your own happiness. But the other things, seduction, philoosphies, theories, female equations, is vanity. We think we are so smart, so genius with our knowledge of women, but it is literally
nothing new under the sun.. Previous generations did this as well. But, they all grew old and died. They knew, as I do now, that it is like chasing wind figure women out.
We must not place on women this masculine crown of thorns. You will lose sense of life when you crucify woman on a Cross of Philosophy.
-- everybody has different approaches to the game -- and it *is* a game -- that work for them.