A lot of the advice on SS is misguided

[JdelaSilviera]

It´s should patently obvious to everyone, that 90% of the forum are guys who are inexperienced with women. Well it´s not bad to be inexperienced, life is a journey, and no one should be proud because they have a past of failed relationships that entitles the person as "experienced", the most healthy people in the world are children, who haven´t still been corrupted with bad people and relationships. We have the tendency for only look at the bad, and forget all the good it happens to us everyday)

Now, these guys advice things they read on the forum or around the internet, not first contact knowledge.

There a lot of things that are said by guys that are either inexperienced, or a complete disaster with women.
Things like females have all the power, they are all flaky and stuff like that, are norms on the forum, but aren´t necessarily on reality.

It´s also simply illogical to say women have the power because they chose... in the moment you approached her you chose her also... even if she has the last word (if you don´t get disinterested in the process), it doesn´t make her more powerful... Also you are more powerful in a certain way, cause while you take the initiative to approach girls that interest you, they have to wait some guy they want to come along.

The thing of muscles, looks, money, yes it takes a role, for some girls, but giving just the example of muscles, I see every fcking night muscular guys getting rejected, and it´s not because of women self entitlement..muscles don´t make a guy attractive on their own, and many don´t even consider a must. So what many guys here do is sort of gay, they almost decide what they would find attractive on a male(or what they do) and then blame women for not being receptive to a guy who matches their homo criteria. I
have friends, and know lots of guys, who are just regular guys... who pull super hot chicks. The one thing they have in common, is that they are all very fun to be around, and very socially aware with lots of friends. And if you are a social healthy guy, you should be getting lots of women.

The problem here, is that many guys on the forum have few friends, have a fvcked up view of people in general, mega negative thinking etc. It´s a natural consequence that people don´t want to be around you.

So yes, that´s what you should be thinking and focusing on, how to be a pleasant and still cool guy, who people enjoy. If guys enjoy you, women also will.

Now if your goal is only to pursue a narcissistic self improvement road, it really tells a lot of you as a person, I really doubt that in the end all the money, muscles and success you might achieve will help you, you should have generally like for others, and others will like you. Of course I´m not saying you shouldn´t worry on how you look etc... but keep a sense of proportion on what is really important.

Be more outgoing, interesting, cool, travel more etc.

Also forget routines, they will make you feel weird and women will notice.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Anything you find on the internet is misguided. And it's silly to think these forums are full of pros just waiting to give advice to noobs. You read what is here, consider the advice and come to your own conclusions.

 

[bish0p]

I agree for the most part. As far as muscles are concerned, I've been on two sides of the coin.

When I first found the seduction community back in 2002, I was not in the best of shape (not fat, but slim) and I was confident as hell having learned all of this information. I was approaching women (fatties, hotties, anyone to get used to the idea of approaching) like crazy and I was still getting numbers and dates.

I did notice that when I got women into bed, they always commented that I wasn't in shape and last minute resistance was almost always there. As such, I started working out.

The amount of IOI's I received increased and the last minute resistance I received decreased. So, being in shape does have benefits...at least it did when I was working out.

So, I think the community gives solid advice in that. Is it the end all be all? No. I still got rejected...by uglies, hotties, etc. But, it was beneficial in many ways as well.

After 10 years of learning about seduction (or whatever you want to call it), the single biggest thing that I regret is putting SO much emphasis on chasing women. One thing that I read early on, but it did not hit me until last year was that you need to have your life together before you go out attracting women. I didn't do this. I didn't focus on getting a career or saving money or anything and now I'm in a pretty bad position at my age (not the worse, but bad for me). I went to college and got a degree, but not in a field that I was really interested in.

I think the best advice comes when it is about self improvement. **** the routines, the 3 sec rule, the 3 day rule and all the other gimmicks. As I've heard before, get your life together first and everything will fall into place afterward.

 

[Solomon]

The problem here, is that many guys on the forum have few friends, have a fvcked up view of people in general, mega negative thinking etc. It´s a natural consequence that people don´t want to be around you.

So yes, that´s what you should be thinking and focusing on, how to be a pleasant and still cool guy, who people enjoy. If guys enjoy you, women also will.

Now if your goal is only to pursue a narcissistic self improvement road, it really tells a lot of you as a person, I really doubt that in the end all the money, muscles and success you might achieve will help you, you should have generally like for others, and others will like you. Of course I´m not saying you shouldn´t worry on how you look etc... but keep a sense of proportion on what is really important.

Be more outgoing, interesting, cool, travel more etc.

Also forget routines, they will make you feel weird and women will notice.

Bravo

What I highlited in bold is very true, I've met a few guys from the seduction industry and none of them had any social circles or friends and when they did it was usually other game guys. It always struck me odd when other guys would tell me "Dude you got so many friends..."

They wonder how I can have a social circle with people who are so different then me, with beaitfull women I have no business being with. The truth is women and men wanna hang out with people who are cool, who are able to show emphaty and are fun to be around. Not douchebags who think their alphas because some turd from a forum told him to go "Amog plus micro calibrate to show high value" and other nonsense.

Personally speaking a lot of guys need to put the "Game" down and focus on their self-esteem, and their overall health not just phsyically in terms looking good but mentally, finacially and spiritually. Life is about balance, the problem here is that to many guys put to much empahsis in being good with women, and hence seek it as a validation. This isn't healthy, espeically with the recent "alpha obession" it just reeks of try hardness and insecuirty to me

 

[sstype]

Agree. Too much outcome dependence here. We're so worried about "scoring" that we come off desperate and pushy and its a wonder so many guys here fail with women.

The contrast in my social life tells it all....I have very few "unattached" female friends, yet I always seem to be a huge hit with the attached women in my social group....because I don't try and pick them up, they couldn't be more relaxed and fun around me. I can't seem to shake the whole competitive mentality I get whenever a single woman is around, because my mind starts racing and plotting on how to get in her pants and it becomes blatantly obvious to her and everyone around her.

Something I need to work on....this post was a good wakeup call OP.

 

[Young Stallion]

It´s should patently obvious to everyone, that 90% of the forum are guys who are inexperienced with women. Well it´s not bad to be inexperienced, life is a journey, and no one should be proud because they have a past of failed relationships that entitles the person as "experienced", the most healthy people in the world are children, who haven´t still been corrupted with bad people and relationships. We have the tendency for only look at the bad, and forget all the good it happens to us everyday)

Now, these guys advice things they read on the forum or around the internet, not first contact knowledge.

There a lot of things that are said by guys that are either inexperienced, or a complete disaster with women.
Things like females have all the power, they are all flaky and stuff like that, are norms on the forum, but aren´t necessarily on reality.

It´s also simply illogical to say women have the power because they chose... in the moment you approached her you chose her also... even if she has the last word (if you don´t get disinterested in the process), it doesn´t make her more powerful... Also you are more powerful in a certain way, cause while you take the initiative to approach girls that interest you, they have to wait some guy they want to come along.

The thing of muscles, looks, money, yes it takes a role, for some girls, but giving just the example of muscles, I see every fcking night muscular guys getting rejected, and it´s not because of women self entitlement..muscles don´t make a guy attractive on their own, and many don´t even consider a must. So what many guys here do is sort of gay, they almost decide what they would find attractive on a male(or what they do) and then blame women for not being receptive to a guy who matches their homo criteria. I
have friends, and know lots of guys, who are just regular guys... who pull super hot chicks. The one thing they have in common, is that they are all very fun to be around, and very socially aware with lots of friends. And if you are a social healthy guy, you should be getting lots of women.

The problem here, is that many guys on the forum have few friends, have a fvcked up view of people in general, mega negative thinking etc. It´s a natural consequence that people don´t want to be around you.

So yes, that´s what you should be thinking and focusing on, how to be a pleasant and still cool guy, who people enjoy. If guys enjoy you, women also will.

Now if your goal is only to pursue a narcissistic self improvement road, it really tells a lot of you as a person, I really doubt that in the end all the money, muscles and success you might achieve will help you, you should have generally like for others, and others will like you. Of course I´m not saying you shouldn´t worry on how you look etc... but keep a sense of proportion on what is really important.

Be more outgoing, interesting, cool, travel more etc.

Also forget routines, they will make you feel weird and women will notice.

This is the best post I have ever seen on this forum. Coincidentally this post also makes me not want to post on this or any other forum again LOL! Talk about ironic....Amazing post dude.

It is very true...the guys who really pull in the ladies...have not even heard of this site or sites like these likely.

 

[Trump]

True, you can't be socially awkward, but at the same time you can't go around being this happy-go lucky guy thinking that everything is wonderful. It can be dangerous, people will take advantage, and you'll get crushed.

I think you are taking it to the extreme, the main focus of this site is about balance. You shouldn't have no friends and be rich, or sleep with super hot girls sleep and have no money, you'll never be happy either way.

Generally if you are happy with yourself, don't say dumb things, are not awkward, and get along with others, you should have no problem pulling.

 

[xs_]

Is it fair to say that getting better with women will also help improve your social life, as you get more comfortable with talking to strangers and having fun with it?

 

[Johnnyventana]

Sure, you definitely need to be in shape. Period. And take care of your teeth people! I can't tell you how many chicks say that bad teeth = no go!

But someone recently posted on here that arm muscles were to women, what breasts are to men. Sure, keep telling yourself that. I'm pretty sure whoever said that was not attractive, but thought nice arms would make up for that shyte. Um, not so much.

 

[PapiChulo]

Wait a minute, I though we were through with the "sosuave full of lunatics" tread? It's an yearly event now I understand.

 

[Jariel]

You make a very valid point. A lot of the advice here is spewed by keyboard jockeys and regurgitated from other "gurus", books and videos, rather than from experience. Unfortunately, we end up with a lot of theory and hypothetical situations here that often sound good, but don't work in reality...or just aren't consistent with everyone's personality.

Personally, I've always tried to share my first hand experience on this forum, my lows as well as my highs. I like to consider myself one of the SoSuave success stories as I came here as a pathetic AFC looking for advice on winning back a b1tch who treated me like a doormat. I ended up getting into seduction and self improvement and have learned a lot of valuable lessons along the way.

There are others like me, but it's very difficult separating the textbook theory from in game experience.

 

[comic_relief]

Anything you find on the internet is misguided. And it's silly to think these forums are full of pros just waiting to give advice to noobs. You read what is here, consider the advice and come to your own conclusions.

The people that are successful have mostly left the site and are now enjoying life (they got what they needed). I remember the days when I was a KBJ, but then I started to succeed and left the site. I just didn't have time to go on anymore. I now stop by every once and a while. The web site is a crutch until you get your feet under you and understand the game. Then one should leave and only stop by for small visits.

- Comic_Relief

P.S. Holy hell, its Jariel! How you doing buddy? PM me so we can catch up. Long time!