A little bit of help please...

[adam225]

I'd like to know where I've gone wrong (if I have) with a girl I've been txting.

A bit of background info - I met her Saturday night when I was out drinking around town. We were both drunk(ish) and bumped into one on other at a bar. I started a jokey conversation with her which went on for 10 mins or so. I then asked her for her number and she got out her phone and typed my number in and called me. I then told her I'd be in contact and that I had to go.

I left it until yesterday and decided to contact her. She never picked up the phone when I called. I then got a txt off her and the conversation went like this :

Her- Who's this?

Me- I thought you saved my number lol. It's that lad who you slipped into the other night up town.

Her- Oh yeah forgot all about u lol

Me- How on earth could you ?? You remember speaking to me though, right ? My name was Adam BTW

Her- Vaguely but only cuz you've text lol. Nice to meet you Adam lol

Me- That's no good lol. I expected you to know me straight off haha. What you up to anyway ?

Her- LMAO trying to find a takeaway n off to mates to watch a movie xx

Me- Sounds good. I love takeaways - Specially chinese. Saying that I love watching movies as well. Where were you from again ? Sutton ?? xx

Her- Yeah Sutton - how long did we talk for ? LOL I remember none of this :/ xx

Next day (today)

Me- About 10 minutes I think lol. What film did you watch ? xx

Her- The odd men lol xx

Me- Never heard of it. Is it any good ? xx

Her- I mean the odd couples lol. 60s film yeah was good.

Me- I take it is a comedy ? Is it a British film ? I've never really been into old films. I find the odd one to be OK though. I'm quite fussy when it comes to picture quality/ effects lol xx

I sent the final text this morning around 10:00am and haven't had a reply yet. I can't work out whether she's actually interested or not. My gut tells me she is but I need to sweet talk her more lol. Anyway - What do you guys think ? What would you do ?

Thanks

 

[LorenzoVonM]

She was drunk. She doesn't remember you which means she has no attraction for you. So essentially you are trying to get her to go on a date with a faceless stranger. Not gonna happen. Delete her number unless you truly enjoy talking about movies with girls you're never gonna bang.

 

[TheException]

She never picked up the phone when I called. I then got a txt off her

Dont call a girl. Change with the times...adapt. They rarely answer and will shoot you a text. Could have texted her anything that was funny about the night at the bar as the first text.

How on earth could you ?? You remember speaking to me though, right ?
What you up to anyway ?
Where were you from again ? Sutton ?? xx
What film did you watch ?
Is it any good ?
I take it is a comedy ? Is it a British film ?

Toooooo many questions...not to mention their boring. Its like a damn interview...not created attraction...in fact you lowered it.

Her- Who's this?

Either sh1t test or low interest. Either way respond with indifference or agree and amplify.

There is no attraction here. Either she was legit drunk and doesnt remember(not likely) or she had low interest to begin with. Either way you all but killed any remaining attraction. Dont ask questions or be so damn serious. Dont get to know a girl through the phone. One to two funny texts, then ask to meetup next time.

 

[adam225]

That's cool. Thanks for the input. As long as I can learn from it I don't care. Practice = better. If anyone else feels like throwing anything in than please do so.

Thanks again for the replies....

 

[TheCWord]

That's cool. Thanks for the input. As long as I can learn from it I don't care. Practice = better. If anyone else feels like throwing anything in than please do so.

Thanks again for the replies....

That's the right attitude.

The more time you spend reading SoSuave and practicing some of the things you've learned (and seeing results) the better you will get at things like texting.

I probably would have had a very similar text conversation with that girl a year ago. Now, unless it's a girl I've been seeing for a while, you will notice the conversations are very short and are strictly used for setting up dates - unless she texts me something random, in which case I'll reply eventually but not take it as an opportunity to turn it into a gab fest.

 

[Iceberg]

My advice. Less texting, and more getting to the point.

My first text to a girl will normally go like:

ME: Hey there. It's Iceberg from X Bar. How'd the rest of your night go?

GIRL: Blah blah tequila...

ME: You're crazy. Tequila will get you in trouble every time. What are you up to this week? Let's meet up at a happy hour.

So, Adam, I understand that you're still learning. But really...I don't text my friends and family as often as you're texting this random girl.

You already met her face to face, you built some rapport IN PERSON, so the only thing left to do is set up a date. It's not like your texting conversations is going to improve upon the face-to-face meeting you had at that bar.

Girls don't think like "I met him. He was cute. I gave him my number. But i wasn't sure that I wanted to go on a date with him until he texted me 30 times."

 

[adam225]

Thanks Iceberg. That makes perfect sense. The thing with me is that I've just come out of a LTR so I need to build my skills backup. I have no doubts I'll do so eventually. I just need to get out there. ...

 

[Luke!!]

Out of curiosity why do british folk end texts with xx?

 

[adam225]

She added the xx so I just followed. My ex uses to send me 4-5 x after ever txt.

 

[Luke!!]

Thats fantastic. What I want to know though is what does it symbolize? I doubt it symbolizes the strength of the liquor in a jug sitting in a saloon.

 

[adam225]

Lol. They are suppose to be kisses (I think) .

 

[HalfPUAHalfAFC]

Adam, looking up the name "Harry Wilmington" on this site and read his criticisms of texting and while it "kills attraction." He must have written this 100s of times.

Not everyone agrees with him on all his points, but the general idea is that repeated texting over and over with meaningless BS and questions does not build attraction and only lowers it.

Some guys have good text game, most don't. Your example was almost cringe-worthy. Stick the rule of thumb: text one or twice at most, and then ask for them to get out and meet for a drink.

I've fallen into the problem before of texting too much and having read other guys' examples I have seen the error of my ways. Now I follow the simple rule of texting a girl to get her out. Doesn't work 100% of the time, but at least it shows your intentions, does not bore them with meaningless drivel (which only lowers any attraction already there), and shows leadership/initiative and not beating around the bush (she knows why you are texting her and the longer it takes you to get to the point -- asking her out -- the lower your value will be in her eyes).

One last point: the higher a girl's SMP value, the more likely it is she has tons of AFC orbiters texting her BS and nonsense, boring the hell out of her. Once you start down the path of texting such BS, you are placed in that vanilla category of guys to "don't get it" (a phrase the womenz love to use). You gotta stand out and repeated texting (especially if you are not skilled at it) will get you into the "not interested" category fast. There are guys who teach texting skills online and you can poach some of their advice, but a lot of it is simply bait to get you to buy their products. Sniff around a little and see some pointers but, again, unless your text game is super tight, less is more.

One or two text openers, then try to get them out. Until you master this, this should be your main rule to follow.

Best of luck