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A Lack of Confidence is The #1 Reason Killing Your Chances With Women

ELMER_GANTRY

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Make no bones about it guys, women are instantly attracted to men that have confidence. Confident men turn women on, they are assertive, know what they want, know how to handle relationships, are strong men that can protect women and make them feel secure. They give off magnetic positive energy that women crave and find irresistible. I will write more about being confident and how it will help you tremendously in my next thread, but let's look at how a lack of confidence is hurting your chances out there with women.

A lack of confidence is the #1 reason what is killing guys chances to obtain women. Some guys might already know this, but they continue to lack confidence, which is the biggest reason for guys down fall with women besides looks. It is written all over your face, your body language, how you talk, how you walk, everything about you reeks from a lack of confidence that repels women away from you. Confident men see you that way too, and don't want to associate with you.

Women are instantly turned off by men who display a lack of confidence. They look weak, wimpy, unsure of themselves, not very strong, wishy washy, self-conscious. not comfortable in their own skin, a huge push over that will be walked over by anybody and everybody. In fact, women are more confident than some of these guys who lack confidence.

So why on earth would a girl want to date a guy like that? He won't make her feel safe if he is wimpy and a push over. She doesn't want to control a relationship because the weak man is afraid to step up and take charge. Why would she want a weakling as a boyfriend who is afrraid of his own shadow? She doesn't, so that is why she ignores your attempts to talk when you meet her, turns you down when you ask for her number, or flakes on you if you do manage to get her number. She wants that strong confident guy, and you are not it.

A women makes her first decisions about you within the first few minutes of meeting you. She will measure you up and see what you got. She will look to see how you present yourself to her. She will look at your body language, your eye contact, how you are talking to her, and how confident you really are. Those first few minutes of the initial meeting are crucial, and will determine the outcome if you will get her number, get a date, and yes, even get the chance to have sex with her. All of that is going through her mind while you are there with her. If you appear wimpy, creepy, weird, nervous, not confident, she will turn you down and walk away from you, all because you weren't a confident man. Don't forget that you can't fake confidence, your eyes will always give you away every single time.

It is so important to be confident, because even if you manage to get her number, she can still turn you down for a date, because she will remember you weren't that confident when you met, and she will go out with a man that has confidence instead of you, that was insecure and unsure of yourself. You need to make a great first impression, because women will always remember where she first met you, and being a confident man will leave a great impression for her to remember you.

Last weekend, I was out with my buddies, and got a chance to see some men who lacked confidence that tried to approach some women. Thought it would be good to post on here, so I did. Here is how it turned out for them....

Guy #1...mid 30's, balding, short. This guy looked really nervous chewing his gum. Infact, he was chewing so fast, I thought he was going to swallow his gum. He was self-conscious and placed the chick above him. That was literally too, because she was taller than him. Their convo didn't last all that long, maybe 2 or 3 minute tops, if that. He nervously smiled, kind of waved bye to her, put his hands in his pockets, chewing his gum fast as he walked away empty handed.

Guy #2....late 30's-early 40's...tall...Now this guy was trying to fake being confident. he had this goofy grin on his face like he was trying to be cool. He looked phony and looked like a fool. He approached 2 women in their 40's got nowhere and he walked away with that plastered grin. Tried with a younger girl and she shook her head no and walked away from him. Some other girls laughed at him after he passed them by. Tried with a 30ish woman, talked for a few minutes before he left the place with nothing.

Guy #3...mid 20's...glasses..dorky guy....this guy was trying his C&F routines with the ladies. He wasn't smooth and his negs came off as fake and not very funny. Other girls walked away from him or ignored him, then he went back to his seat.

Guy #4....early 30's..tall..long face...this guy had a red face and was sweating like a pig. you could see sweat stains under his arm pits and on his back. He was nervous too and got nowhere either.

Guy #5...20's..pretty good looking guy...this guy was looking down and not at the girls and appeared very boring. He too got nothing.

Guy #6....20's....tall..thin...This guy looked like someone was after him, he kept peeking over his shoulder, looking around to see if people were watching him. He talked with one girl briefly and that was it. He tried again before we left and he got nothing and walked out too. He looked creepy so you can imagine how women saw him.

Guy #7..20's...balding...medium height....this guy was talking really fast to this one chick...she kept saying "what?" he had to repeat himself several times to her. He did that with 5 other girls and got no results because he was nervous.

Guy #8...20's asian...He tried to be PUA artitst but couldnt handle his scripts I guess because the women got turned off by him.

So, all these 8 guys were nervous, unsure of themselves, self-conscious, and had no confidence. The women saw this and you could spot these guys a mile away, they stuck out like a sore thumb, and as a result, they all failed for the night, got no numbers, no girls, and walked away empty handed. All due to the fact they had no confidence in themselves. If they were, they would of looked like a man, been confident, got numbers, instead of looking like weak wimpy men.

Confidence is what atracts women, a lack of confidence repels them and is the #1 that is killing your chances of attracting wmen. Work on your confidence, yoiur inner game, project yourself as a confident man, and you will see huge results in your ability to attract women.
 

corrector

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Tell us something we don't already know.

What's next? Try pheromones and spray it on to improve confidence?
 

Gray The Prince

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corrector said:
Tell us something we don't already know.

What's next? Try pheromones and spray it on to improve confidence?
Stop being a negative nancy and listen to the wisdom in his posts.
 

Maxtro

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ELMER_GANTRY said:
Confidence is what atracts women, a lack of confidence repels them and is the #1 that is killing your chances of attracting wmen.
No shit? Really?.... :rolleyes:

Even women can tell men that they are attracted to confidence.

You should have started your post with the above and then wrote several paragraphs explaining this fallowing part below
Work on your confidence, yoiur inner game, project yourself as a confident man, and you will see huge results in your ability to attract women.
 

corrector

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Gray The Prince said:
Stop being a negative nancy and listen to the wisdom in his posts.
What wisdom,? All this is is a BS post that doesn't tell you how to get confidence/inner game.

The only thing was the guys in his example weren't rude to any of the ladies and took it in stride.

If you read up on Ron Copeland's work, "How to be a Bad Boy", reacting to a rejection like this girls rather than smiling in walking away is part of a "game".

Let's see -- he says you can't fake confidence, and you aleady have to be confident.

So..that means? You go up to a random woman and french kiss her and grope her ass while doing that..there now you are confident!

What's next, a sales pitch for a placebo confidence pill or spray?
 

Solomon

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ELMER_GANTRY said:
Guy #1...mid 30's, balding, short. This guy looked really nervous chewing his gum. Infact, he was chewing so fast, I thought he was going to swallow his gum. He was self-conscious and placed the chick above him. That was literally too, because she was taller than him. Their convo didn't last all that long, maybe 2 or 3 minute tops, if that. He nervously smiled, kind of waved bye to her, put his hands in his pockets, chewing his gum fast as he walked away empty handed.

Guy #2....late 30's-early 40's...tall...Now this guy was trying to fake being confident. he had this goofy grin on his face like he was trying to be cool. He looked phony and looked like a fool. He approached 2 women in their 40's got nowhere and he walked away with that plastered grin. Tried with a younger girl and she shook her head no and walked away from him. Some other girls laughed at him after he passed them by. Tried with a 30ish woman, talked for a few minutes before he left the place with nothing.

Guy #3...mid 20's...glasses..dorky guy....this guy was trying his C&F routines with the ladies. He wasn't smooth and his negs came off as fake and not very funny. Other girls walked away from him or ignored him, then he went back to his seat.

Guy #4....early 30's..tall..long face...this guy had a red face and was sweating like a pig. you could see sweat stains under his arm pits and on his back. He was nervous too and got nowhere either.

Guy #5...20's..pretty good looking guy...this guy was looking down and not at the girls and appeared very boring. He too got nothing.

Guy #6....20's....tall..thin...This guy looked like someone was after him, he kept peeking over his shoulder, looking around to see if people were watching him. He talked with one girl briefly and that was it. He tried again before we left and he got nothing and walked out too. He looked creepy so you can imagine how women saw him.

Guy #7..20's...balding...medium height....this guy was talking really fast to this one chick...she kept saying "what?" he had to repeat himself several times to her. He did that with 5 other girls and got no results because he was nervous.

Guy #8...20's asian...He tried to be PUA artitst but couldnt handle his scripts I guess because the women got turned off by him.
.

So while you were watching all these guys like a "sally" how many women did you approach?

You remind me of one of my buddies who likes to sit back and watch people and make fun of them and talk down on them but yet he never approaches chicks himself, a FR or a tale with your own experience would have been of more value......to me anyway

Just my thoughts
 

Doctrine Dark

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Yeah, confidence really is important. For some reason, I've never been able to summon any confidence from within, simply because I don't know how to be confident.

I honestly feel like that's my biggest problem right now. I feel like if I can reach a level where I'll actually have no problem being myself, things will start to feel better. When I'm around women, I just feel like I'm not on a high enough level to seriously talk to any of them--so I just tell myself "You can't have her, so stop looking", then I move along. I just wish I knew how to be a confident guy....

Great topic, Elmer. Look forward to your next thread regarding confidence.
 

Delly2000

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I am with you Elmer that Confidence is important. But I think it is a bit gray.

Almost like a chicken before the egg phenomenon. Also I think looks still plays a huge part as you even alluded to it in your post.

You get confidence from accomplishments. It manifest itself from experience. You got the Good looking guy who approaches women. Things are pretty much effortless for him when he starts out. He just talks to the girls and lays back...chit chats a bit and boom. He got the girl. From then on he got confidence because he has his gameplan down to a science and he knows it works. Ofcourse the looks play a big role. And the more women you have the more women gravitate to you.

What does the big or ugly guy have to be confident about? He goes to talk with women and they are repulsed by him. He has all this tight game, intelligence, you name it and the girls just reject him. What is going to happen to his confidence...if he has any left?

Now we all know that ugly and fat guys can get a beautiful woman. We have all seen it. To be honest I am a product of thus. I have gotten a couple...a couple. U know the ones where people stop and stare. But I think if you look deeper into the relationship in most cases you will probably find other factors at play such as:
The guy has...
- Money
- Fame or Social Status
-Knowledge Center at work/Girl wants to advance her career
- A nice car
- Friends for a long time and the romance happens (not recommended but it happens)
-Girl using you for dates, transportation, ego stroke, because she is bored and unitl the guy she really wants comes along

Looking forward to the next post for more elucidation. I wish the guys talking about it being old news would post some links. That would be helpful.
 

Pardner

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corrector said:
Tell us something we don't already know.

What's next? Try pheromones and spray it on to improve confidence?
buy a bottle and spray some on dude. dont think it'll help you out LOL. good post it gives good insight on why we should be confident. i bet most of you guys are not confident.
 

Stagger Lee

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Girls reject a guy because he doesn't have confidence, or a guy doesn't have confidence because girls reject him? It's another chicken and egg question.
 

cablecow15

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Gray The Prince said:
Stop being a negative nancy and listen to the wisdom in his posts.

I loled anyone who has read the dj bible can post about this stuff n sound smart
 

Ace_Magnamus

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So what if its obvious?

so what if was written before?

the guy knows what he's talking about

this was a good thread

nothing wrong with trying to motivate men to be better

maybe someone can learn from those guys mistakes

most threads i see on here is obvious too

its always good to read other guys perspectives on how they think.....that makes you a better man.
 

Warrior74

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i wrote up a whole reply to this but I think it timed out.

Anyway long story short.

OP, you should check out these same guys after 100 approaches. I'm sure they will be a whole lot better. That's what this site is for, you go out and try it, you report back, you learn from your mistakes and try again. More field reports, and that goes for everyone.

Confidence = Parachuting. The only thing that gets you up there the first time is will power, desire and bravery. The 100th time, its pure confidence with the excitement of what can happen. Every time is different ya? Same with chics.

Chicken and egg? Screw it. Fake it until you make it. Play the role until you become the role. Yes it will be awkward at first. it will get better. Get the ball rolling. If you can swallow some pride, get a starter chic. Drop your standards a point or two and practice on some lesser girls to figure out what you are doing and to gain some confidence. Then step your game up.

Looks. Get in where you fit in. Pull what you can pull. The only way to know what you can pull is to go out there and try. Shoot high low and middle and compare the results. I do well with the middle, occasionally pull on the high, the low usually think that I'm just fvcking with them and pulling their leg. Which means I'm about average. Only by trying it out for yourself will you get any real answers to the looks debate. That debate is settled in the field one girl at a time.

This is practical basic stuff. If you aren't willing to go out and do these basics and report back, you are just wanking off here and not serious about improving. Debate doesn't solve jack, action does. So take some action.
 

psychoticpharaoh

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Stagger Lee said:
Girls reject a guy because he doesn't have confidence, or a guy doesn't have confidence because girls reject him? It's another chicken and egg question.
I wanted to post a welcome thread, but **** it I don't see one so I'll go with the first one because confidence always has to come first. You have to proud of yourself personally. Confidence isn't given to you, you have to take it. How do you take it?

1) Let go of your past failures with women and start fresh. Love your best features whether it's your abs, money, face, sense of humor, intelligence, etc and be arrogant about it. YES ARROGANT! "Every battle is won long before it's faught" Sun Tzu

2) Learn game i.e. learn your own likes, dislikes, read about female psychology

3) Read about body language. A girl once told me the way a man walks, talks and displays eye-contact tells her everything about him. She says women relate almost everything to sex.

4) Walk with your head high and know not every female is going to be attracted to you no matter what you do. She could be in love, on drugs, gay, hormonal, or simply not sexually attracted to you.

5) Start approaching women in 1 of 2 ways. a) Those that give you nice eye-contact or small-talk with you. Be more direct with them. b) Regular women you see out and about. Be indirect at first and feel her out. For instance if you're at the subway you can ask for directions.
Quick Story- Once I was coming from court lost in Brooklyn and I asked this cute Italian ***** for directions. She kept letting the train taking her home leave the station while trying to help me out. I kept saying "go on the train, I'll find my way" and she wanted to help me. After a while I realized she wanted me, so I told her to come back with me to the crib. We had fun and later when I was taking her back home on the train, she said "so what you gonna go act like you're lost again to another girl" lol all I could do was laugh.
Anyway the point is the confidence to know she was coming back to the crib with me and ask already put the game in my hands. Why was I confident to ask her? Simple, I knew she wanted me because she didn't wanna get on that train and leave. Once again "every battle is won long before it's faught" She gave me the panties long before I opened my mouth.

Now aside from all of my rambling here's a little more rambling. The most important thing to know is you're not going to attract the women you want unless you change yourself first. You have to really want to change yourself. The quickest solution is to change your beliefs about yourself from an average joe to arrogant womanizer. Your most powerful tools in order are your Mind, Confidence, Sex Game, Your Words. Change your mind first and the confidence will follow.
 

Ace_Magnamus

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Maxtro said:
No shit? Really?.... :rolleyes:

Even women can tell men that they are attracted to confidence.

You should have started your post with the above and then wrote several paragraphs explaining this fallowing part below

Wow.......Guys on here cant read at all....they do it on my threads all the damn time......they do it on here too :rolleyes:

No wonder these men cant get women....they cant read the info to learn anything :rolleyes:

Can you read?.....I think you need glasses too

He said he is going to write about that in another thread.....I just read that in the first paragraph......why cant you see it?

How many girls are you pulling Maestro?
 

initiatorhater06

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I feel like literally beating up a girl so I can show her that I am not the coward, ***** or weakling, doormat
 

ELMER_GANTRY

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Good Lord! The ignorance level on here is just astounding. No wonder some of these guys can't obtain women, get a girlfriend, or even get ahead in life, because they are so inept to everything and anything, including trying to read and fully comprehend a simple thread to help men with confidence. Some guys are so oblivious to everything, you have to spell everything out for them in order for them to understand, most of the times, that still doesn't help them grasp any knowledge at all.

The tips and articles on SS.com are obvious as well. But, some guys still read them and still get valuable information because not all of them know it. Just like my thread, not everybody knows about a lack of confidence, which is why I wrote this thread in the first place.

I've read a lot of threads where guys are failing with their approaches with women. They don't know what is going wrong, that is why they are asking questions to their problems. This thread is for them, to help them understand what their problem is. It's a lack of confidence. They obvioulsy don't know this, so this is designed to help them out, so they can work on getting more confidence to succeed with women. The guys I saw, and used as examples, were guys that are doing it the WRONG way. Guys on here are probably acting the same way. So, when they see how this is not working, they will hopefully change how they go about doing their approaches by gaining more confidence through practice and developing a strong inner game to combat their nervousness and their mind that is controlling their faults. When you are so worried about what the chick thinks about you, worrying about how you are going to approach her, what you are going to say, wondering if you are going to get her number, you are going to fail each and every time. The guys that I saw, and the guys on here, are doing the same exact thing. They are placing the chick above them, they are worried about qualifying themselves to her (when they shouldn't be, you should always be above her), they are worried about women liking them, they have no confidence. An excellent thread that provides details to show guys what they are doing wrong, and what they need to do to succeed. You are not thinking clearly, your confidence level is low, and you just placed the chick 3 levels above you. This is an excellent thread to show guys how this is the WRONG way to go about doing approaches, and how confidence will help you all the time, and very well detailed through my own experience how confidence feels when you have it and succeed.

I see guys like corrector, solomon, cablecow, maxtro just to name a few, making ridiculous comments not knowing how to read a thread and comprehend what it says. So let me spell it out again for you guys, so maybe you can understand it this time. Read my first paragraph guys, what does it say? It says very clearly, that the next thread that I'm going to write will be about having confidence, and what you need to do, and how you should act to gain confidence. Don't know how you missed that one, it is written right there in the first few sentences.

Yes, Solomon, I used these guys as examples because they were doing it wrong, and it shows guys who are having a hard time on here, that this is the WRONG way about doing it. If you would of read the first paragraph, you would know what my upcoming thread is about. It's about having confidence, how to correctly approach a woman, how to gain confidence through practice and developing skills in order to succeed. Since I provided examples on this one, didn't it occur to you that I would do the same on the next one as well? I always use examples of myself and others in all my threads, to establish the right and the wrong way to do things. I can do that Solomon, because I have experience, and when you have that, you can provide examples, and help others out when they need it. No need to be bitter or sarcastic when you can't do the same. You didn't read my thread very well. Other guys understood it, why didn't you?

This is an excellent thread that shows guys the WRONG way, and to show them why they need confidence for the guys that don't know it. How many excellent threads have we seen from corrector, maxtro, cablecow, and solomon trying to help guys succeed with women through their own experiences, knowledge, and confidence? The answer is zero.

Next time, please read the entire thread and try to comprehend what it says before you write stupid comments and make an ass out of yourself. You just embarrass yourself on the forum for everyone to see. Other guy can understand it, why can't you?
 

Maxtro

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Ace_Magnamus said:
Wow.......Guys on here cant read at all....they do it on my threads all the damn time......they do it on here too :rolleyes:

No wonder these men cant get women....they cant read the info to learn anything :rolleyes:

Can you read?.....I think you need glasses too

He said he is going to write about that in another thread.....I just read that in the first paragraph......why cant you see it?


How many girls are you pulling Maestro?
LOL, that's irrelevent.

Think of it this way. He basically made a thread telling us why it's important to have money. Then spends all this time writing why it's good to have money and bad to be poor.

Would reading that seem to be a good use of your or the authors time?

It's great that he's going to talk about how to get rich in the next thread. But telling me why I need money is just silly.
ELMER_GANTRY said:
The tips and articles on SS.com are obvious as well. But, some guys still read them and still get valuable information because not all of them know it. Just like my thread, not everybody knows about a lack of confidence, which is why I wrote this thread in the first place.

I've read a lot of threads where guys are failing with their approaches with women. They don't know what is going wrong, that is why they are asking questions to their problems. This thread is for them, to help them understand what their problem is. It's a lack of confidence. They obvioulsy don't know this, so this is designed to help them out,
No, I'm pretty sure that every single guy who is struggling with women knows that it's his confidence that is to blame.

No offense, but it's common sense.
 
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