DJHoolahoop
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2005
- Messages
- 385
- Reaction score
- 2
i was talking with a girl tonight about guys meeting girls, relationships and what attraction is about. you know its funny that it felt like what i was asking and talking about was borderline AFC/LBJF type stuff and yet it didn't matter to me if she started making any comments that made it out like i was.
anyways to the meat of what went on, essentially it ended up that we were talking about relationships and how people get clingy, or too closed up (or the type of guy who learns skill to intentionally fvck a chick and leave). so while i asked her about her experience with relationships and where things went badly. i also asked her if when a guy gets "one-itis" for a girl and she makes it harder for him to keep her on a pedastal, that it seems like an act of betrayal on the mans part. and when i explained it further about how that shows weak character in that man, she agreed with me. (why wouldn't she right? but bare with me)
understand that there was no real purpose to tonight other than "research". i mean, my point wasn't to find things to get her to express herself with so that i can get to know her better NOR was it me trying to gain her approval of me so that i can fit "that image" i asked her about. but rather i had a nagging suspicion about relationships and i'm trying to confirm or deny it.
i thought about how all this stuff that we learn plays into it. we become better men in the sense that we start living from our core. we work out, we clean up, shape up, smarten up and begin learning about how to apply ourselves in our life to get what we want out of it. and in turn its through this that allows one to become more familiar with who they are, to make less excuses for being such and to learn who that person is that they want to be.
then once they have learned more about who that is and have developed into that person, naturally its through being themselves that makes the improvement most.
its not "being yourself" as in being on your best behaviour and saying "here, i brought you some flowers" while thinking (isn't this how it works? i buy you flowers, i prove myself to you and that's how i get you?) and its not about "i have to wait 3 days to call her because that will show her i live my own life and am too busy for her until then". but what is it then? what is it that works so well and allows the man to be able to be so effective in the world?
and what makes AFC's so horrible and PUA's so good? the PUA isn't good because he hides his intentions and makes himself of lower status or value because he thinks its what he's supposed to do. and the afc isn't horrible because he makes his intentions known and is upfront with who he is. its because of those things that makes one more favourable than the other. i bet you can figure out which one and why too.
but that's what brings it all home. in the end its amazing how all the BS and crap we put ourselves through is essentially because we put ourselves through it. all the crap we allow to affect us is in our control and is no longer an issue once we live more from within ourselves and less from what's in our environment. like all of it can be so small and pointless its remarkable how its such a big thing. forgive a man for wanting to be a man and forgive a woman for not letting us get away with being a boy. and that's what they're there for. to keep us on top of ourselves and to keep them on top of us.
if my understanding of how to make things work for yourself and how to be effective in both gaming women and in finding a relationship is at all on the right path. it deals with not getting caught up in it. not getting caught up in life and being aware when you are. being able to recognize the signs when you see them and knowing what to do comes from asking in the moment "how is what I'm doing serving myself for the better or my purpose". even though this seems simple enough and is practiced, its important never to lose sight of that. even when it means things don't always work out the way you had hoped, but its through that energy and ever knowing and wanting drive to achieve freedom(well-being) in life that makes asking that all the more important.
and thats the distinction i've been trying to make. and it seems to me that in the end you're still you either way, BUT what makes the key difference here is that one is able to fully give themselves to life in the present and the other is afraid to.
anyways to the meat of what went on, essentially it ended up that we were talking about relationships and how people get clingy, or too closed up (or the type of guy who learns skill to intentionally fvck a chick and leave). so while i asked her about her experience with relationships and where things went badly. i also asked her if when a guy gets "one-itis" for a girl and she makes it harder for him to keep her on a pedastal, that it seems like an act of betrayal on the mans part. and when i explained it further about how that shows weak character in that man, she agreed with me. (why wouldn't she right? but bare with me)
understand that there was no real purpose to tonight other than "research". i mean, my point wasn't to find things to get her to express herself with so that i can get to know her better NOR was it me trying to gain her approval of me so that i can fit "that image" i asked her about. but rather i had a nagging suspicion about relationships and i'm trying to confirm or deny it.
i thought about how all this stuff that we learn plays into it. we become better men in the sense that we start living from our core. we work out, we clean up, shape up, smarten up and begin learning about how to apply ourselves in our life to get what we want out of it. and in turn its through this that allows one to become more familiar with who they are, to make less excuses for being such and to learn who that person is that they want to be.
then once they have learned more about who that is and have developed into that person, naturally its through being themselves that makes the improvement most.
its not "being yourself" as in being on your best behaviour and saying "here, i brought you some flowers" while thinking (isn't this how it works? i buy you flowers, i prove myself to you and that's how i get you?) and its not about "i have to wait 3 days to call her because that will show her i live my own life and am too busy for her until then". but what is it then? what is it that works so well and allows the man to be able to be so effective in the world?
and what makes AFC's so horrible and PUA's so good? the PUA isn't good because he hides his intentions and makes himself of lower status or value because he thinks its what he's supposed to do. and the afc isn't horrible because he makes his intentions known and is upfront with who he is. its because of those things that makes one more favourable than the other. i bet you can figure out which one and why too.
but that's what brings it all home. in the end its amazing how all the BS and crap we put ourselves through is essentially because we put ourselves through it. all the crap we allow to affect us is in our control and is no longer an issue once we live more from within ourselves and less from what's in our environment. like all of it can be so small and pointless its remarkable how its such a big thing. forgive a man for wanting to be a man and forgive a woman for not letting us get away with being a boy. and that's what they're there for. to keep us on top of ourselves and to keep them on top of us.
if my understanding of how to make things work for yourself and how to be effective in both gaming women and in finding a relationship is at all on the right path. it deals with not getting caught up in it. not getting caught up in life and being aware when you are. being able to recognize the signs when you see them and knowing what to do comes from asking in the moment "how is what I'm doing serving myself for the better or my purpose". even though this seems simple enough and is practiced, its important never to lose sight of that. even when it means things don't always work out the way you had hoped, but its through that energy and ever knowing and wanting drive to achieve freedom(well-being) in life that makes asking that all the more important.
and thats the distinction i've been trying to make. and it seems to me that in the end you're still you either way, BUT what makes the key difference here is that one is able to fully give themselves to life in the present and the other is afraid to.
