A day in the life of a married man. Rant? Maybe.

[Aristippus]

Very true but, the resposibility should not extend to the result of someone else's bad judgment. I'm just gonna do him this favor and let it go at that.

5string. Exactly! One thing that I hear talked about most of the time is man's responsibilities and women's and children's "entitlements". You never hear people talking about women's and children's responsibilities and men's rights.

It needs to go both ways otherwise you're simply a man carrying dead weight with you while battling with the outside world just to make ends meet. The family simply becomes a boat anchor around your neck making the battle 10 times harder.

There has to be give on both sides. It shouldn't be a situation where the man is expected to make most of the sacrifices while the woman gets to live on Easy Street. Stand your ground, law down the law, and don't fall for the trap that you have to make most of the sacrifices while the woman simply sits there and doles out more responsibilities and tasks for you.

It's funny how in many marriages, while the woman's responsibilities either stay the same or are reduced, many women will gladly try to pile on more responsibilities and more items on the man's "honey-do" list, all in the name of him being more "responsible", as if he isn't already being responsible by keeping her up and handling other things at home.

Your only duty as a man is to provide food and a safe home for your woman and any minor children. THAT IS IT! Anything beyond that is optional. And even then, for providing a home and safety, your family should be thankful and appreciative.

Rewarding someone else's bad judgement will not solve the problem. In this case, of course you make the exception for the sake of the grankid's health. Just limit your help to life or death situations or situations where the grandchild's health and well-being are at risk. No assistance beyond that for the parents. Aim any assistance at the grandchildren and only in the most dire situations.

p.s. Unfortunately, if there's a pattern of lazy and worthless children, it's likely the mother is to blame. Even if she isn't lazy, a mother who coddles her offspring and never allows them to see the consequences of bad judgement, and gives them too much, is a big part of the problem. Sounds like Mr. 5string is going to have to lay down some rules.

 

[speed dawg]

5string. Exactly! One thing that I hear talked about most of the time is man's responsibilities and women's and children's "entitlements". You never hear people talking about women's and children's responsibilities and men's rights.

It needs to go both ways otherwise you're simply a man carrying dead weight with you while battling with the outside world just to make ends meet. The family simply becomes a boat anchor around your neck making the battle 10 times harder.

There has to be give on both sides. It shouldn't be a situation where the man is expected to make most of the sacrifices while the woman gets to live on Easy Street. Stand your ground, law down the law, and don't fall for the trap that you have to make most of the sacrifices while the woman simply sits there and doles out more responsibilities and tasks for you.

It's funny how in many marriages, while the woman's responsibilities either stay the same or are reduced, many women will gladly try to pile on more responsibilities and more items on the man's "honey-do" list, all in the name of him being more "responsible", as if he isn't already being responsible by keeping her up and handling other things at home.

Your only duty as a man is to provide food and a safe home for your woman and any minor children. THAT IS IT! Anything beyond that is optional. And even then, for providing a home and safety, your family should be thankful and appreciative.

Rewarding someone else's bad judgement will not solve the problem. In this case, of course you make the exception for the sake of the grankid's health. Just limit your help to life or death situations or situations where the grandchild's health and well-being are at risk. No assistance beyond that for the parents. Aim any assistance at the grandchildren and only in the most dire situations.

p.s. Unfortunately, if there's a pattern of lazy and worthless children, it's likely the mother is to blame. Even if she isn't lazy, a mother who coddles her offspring and never allows them to see the consequences of bad judgement, and gives them too much, is a big part of the problem. Sounds like Mr. 5string is going to have to lay down some rules.

Pretty damn good post right there. Goes hand in hand with the feminista matrix we live in now. Most guys seemingly ENJOY the honey-do crap/ball and chain/boss conversations. They make me want to cringe.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo 5String,


As much as some would like to "wish it away", YOU know that a serious, long-term committed relationship is NOT for cowards, the cold-hearted, or the overly selfish. PUA tricks, player games, and guru gimmicks are no substitute for being a good man in a storm. None of those things really prepare guys for what it takes to MAINTAIN a relationship as serious as a marriage.

Because when it comes to marriage, you know by experience that there are always potential issues that come with it----like dealing with her family, your family, and a lot of other things that suddenly become YOUR problem just due to the connection you two share.

I actually think that what you're doing is to be commended rather than condemned.

Now, I think it's CRITICAL that people should always defend the lines of respect between themselves and all the other people in their lives----- However, the one thing that I believe is MORE important than commanding respect is for you to CONTINUE to stand in your "station"-----for you to continue to be TRUE to yourself at your core.

In other words:

Doing for others out of a desire to be true to yourself is always better than ACTING so untrue to who you are that you run the risk of no longer LIKING or RESPECTING who you are.

Everything within reason, of course.

I understand by reading your initial post that you were just frustrated and needed to get your "rant on", so I don't think this is really that big a problem for you-----EVERYBODY needs to vent once in awhile. In my opinion, we actually DESERVE to exercise this option.

Lastly, I consider you to be very knowledgeable and far too "self-aware" to ever allow yourself to be manipulated against your will. You ain't NEW to any of this shyt. You're a VETERAN----so just keep doing what you're doing.

You'll KNOW when you're behaving in ways that BETRAY who you are at your core by paying attention to how you feel INSIDE-----either while you're in the act of doing something, or DEFINITELY by the moment right "after" you've done it.

Life is messy.

Exclusive relationships are challenging.

But marriage? Well...marriage is MINISTRY.

And you seem to have a good one----so I encourage you to STAY on mission, bro'.



V.U.

 

[5string]

+1 Victory. Thank you from the heart.

I have a right to be somewhat bitter about being put in this position. The parents can't afford it, medicaid does not do dental care so he had nowhere else to turn but us. There were no other options. In my marriage, our money is our money as we both work. So ultimately, both myself and Mrs.5string will pay the 540.00 bucks and the boy will have no further pain. That's enough for me.