A challenge to you ****y&funny types

[bb213]

So here's my current issue: This whole ****y & funny thing has not been working for me. I haven't been able to pick on a woman, or point out her flaws, without coming accross as being mean or genuinely insulting. Either that or I just have an offbeat sense of humor that most girls don't "get".

But I also think that most of the people who post on here aren't as funny as they say they are. That's right, I think most of the people who post on this board are much better at making fun of each other than actually using any of these strategies in real life! So what? I want you all to post some of your best ****y & funny lines that you have actually used that have actually worked! What happened the last time you used a ****y and funny line on a girl and it worked? (no "my favorite line is this", or "I heard this once", or "I said this to a girl (but didn't get her)" what did you use that worked?) I'd like to see how this stuff has actually worked for the rest of you guys. I'm not looking for canned lines, but I'd like to see how you responded to a situation with spontinatey. Get it?

I need help with this; I'm not suggesting most of you people don't know what you are doing, I'm suggesting some of the people that post on here might actually know what they are doing! Let's hear about what you guys have acomplished!

 

[Shadow Dancer]

First off, calm yourself. You're talking like a little biotch and making demands you have no right to make. You're earning no respect, kid. Be that as it may, I know you're frusrtrated so I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt in thinking that you're just ACTING stupid, and aren't actually stupid. So lets go...

"Either that or I just have an offbeat sense of humor that most girls don't "get"."

Translation: You don't have any humor. Dude, you're coming off as an arse with the women. You need to work on your humor. I suggest getting a book called Comedy Writing Secrets by Marvin Helitzer. Get it, read it, practice it, read it again, practice it. You won't be sorry.

You're looking at this wrong. You're thinking that you have to be ****y funny as if it's a technique. It's only a technique when you're starting out and that's because you don't know any better. Eventually it will become a part of your personality and not something you think about it.

If you're read my posts then you've noticed that I usually make little comments to let newbies know what works and what doesn't in my game. So I won't be making another post like that. What I will do is post something I did when I was younger which did not work and YOU can tell me why. This should be more helpful to you.


-At Starbucks. Waiting for my coffee and 2 hot girls get in line to order. One of them has open-toed shoes. Thinking I'm oh-so-cool and witty, I go straight up to her and with no expression on my face I say to her, "Your toes are dirty. Wash them." Then I stood back feeling all smug, thinking this girl MUST want me. But the girl just looks at me then looks away.

Hmmm, maybe she didn't hear me. So I raise my voice a bit in the store, "Hey. Your toes. THEY ARE DIRTY." as I point down at her feet. Her and her friend just looked at me like they couldn't believe what they were hearing.

I figured her for lame so I left the store, patting myself on the back for a job well done while mentally exclaiming, "Yeah man, I told that biotch! Now she knows who's the man! I'm the man! Who's the man?! I'M the man!! Yeehaw!".

****************************************

Ok. So what's the problem here? How was I phucking up? What could I have done differently to get these woman interested in me? And more importantly...what must I have believed to think I was doing things correctly when so obviously I was doing things wrong?

If you were to witness this scene, today, in your local Starbucks, what advice would YOU give to the guy making a fool of himself who thinks he's being cool? Remember, actions speak louder than words so you need to actually show him. What would you show him and how would you motivate him to keep at it?

If you're REALLY interested in learning this stuff, take the time to answer every one of those questions. If you're all talk, then leave it alone.

Everyone else reading this, please let BB answer my questions.

-Shadow

 

[bb213]

Good reply

"I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt in thinking that you're just ACTING stupid, and aren't actually stupid. So lets go..."

No, I am actually stupid, but that's why I'm here. To learn. Sometimes you have to be stupid and loud to get the right person's attention. So I'll take you up on this...

"Comedy Writing Secrets "

I'll be sure and check this out.

"YOU can tell me why. This should be more helpful to you."

Thanks, that's what I want. So let's go...

"-At Starbucks. Waiting for my coffee and 2 hot girls get in line to order. One of them has open-toed shoes. Thinking I'm oh-so-cool and witty, I go straight up to her and with no expression on my face I say to her, "Your toes are dirty. Wash them." Then I stood back feeling all smug, thinking this girl MUST want me. But the girl just looks at me then looks away.

Hmmm, maybe she didn't hear me. So I raise my voice a bit in the store, "Hey. Your toes. THEY ARE DIRTY." as I point down at her feet. Her and her friend just looked at me like they couldn't believe what they were hearing.

I figured her for lame so I left the store, patting myself on the back for a job well done while mentally exclaiming, "Yeah man, I told that biotch! Now she knows who's the man! I'm the man! Who's the man?! I'M the man!! Yeehaw!"."

"Ok. So what's the problem here? "

Well, I got the problem there. You're...how can I explain it...too much of a jerk here. That sounds directly insulting and isn't in the slightest amusing. So I got that much...

"How was I phucking up? "

Criticism by random strangers in a mean way isn't good. Obviously, no humor = no success. Gotcha.

"What could I have done differently to get these woman interested in me? "

Well, I guess you could have been funny, right? Let's say she really did have dirty feet or whatever, you could have pointed that out and been funny about it.

"And more importantly...what must I have believed to think I was doing things correctly when so obviously I was doing things wrong?"

You believed that you were showing her you weren't afraid of her or weren't charmed by her good looks. You thought by making a statement like that it would demonstrate that you were not like all of the other guys that hit on her. So I follow you for that much.

"If you were to witness this scene, today, in your local Starbucks, what advice would YOU give to the guy making a fool of himself who thinks he's being cool?"

Well, I'd give him the same answers as to your questions above. Just mean, with no humor, doesn't work. Going from extremely nice to extremely jerk-acting doesn't work any better. Better to err on the side of humor than towards being a jerk, I think.

"Remember, actions speak louder than words so you need to actually show him. What would you show him and how would you motivate him to keep at it?"

That's the tricky part. I don't know; especially about the motivation. I really don't have a clue as to how to proceed in this situation. I am frustrated with all the talk of being ****y & funny and I can't seem to spontaneously come up with anything funny. Believe me, I do have a sense of humor, I do make people (friends) laugh, but just not when it counts - i.e. when talking to strange and good looking girls. Nervousness + frustration = no game.
So that's my angle, is there a way to ease into this? I do plan on getting that book, hopefully this afternoon if it's kept in stock.

"If you're REALLY interested in learning this stuff, take the time to answer every one of those questions."

See, I've seen some people doing this in real life. Some of my best friends (a very few) are very good with this stuff (even though they may not be as conscious of the technique as we are) and I watch them interact. They say stuff that amazes me. Sometimes I think man, I would never have said that. And it works, to my disbelief. But I can't seem to get the right mindset for it to do what they're doing. Frustration + nervousness = no game. So that's why I'm here, is there a beginner's level for this?

 

[Kuen1]

LOL Shadow..."you're toes are dirty, wash them." That's a classic.
Shadow is on the money with this. C&F should be or should become something natural due to having a positive and playful attitude. It's not about walking up to strange women and insulting them. Did I really even have to say that? Now, I don't mess with too many "cold approaches" at this stage in my life because I just don't really care to, and I'm more focused on self than trying to go out and mess with as many women as possible so I can't give you examples for those situations. Just put yourself in the proper mental state, and the C&F will start to show through from your personality. C&F to me is just being silly and cracking dumb jokes about whatever comes to mind during the situation. I don't think about "I am going to use C&F now, countdown 3...2...1" because it would be forced and come out retarded. If I'm talking to a girl who is in a punk band, I'll ask her if she plays country/western. If a lady says her dad or whoever is a mason, I'll accuse her of trying to rule the world and working with Al Quaeda in a plot to cause world wars. If she is vietnamese (i love vietnamese girls) I'll say Chao (hi) really loud and wave like a retard. If she giggles and waves then I'll walk over and ask if she can cook vietnames cuisine. If she says no I tell her "aww too bad, I would have married you quick" with a grin on my face. If I'm doing some Kung Fu, and some girlies stop by to watch (which happens alot) I'll stop and start to show them a move or something knowing that they're going to screw it all up and feel retarded, then I'll tell em "wow, you're a pro, you're a born killer" in a sarcastic tone with a grin. etc etc etc. ALL of this is done in an outgoing, and playfull way. And, usually ends up with the classic girly giggle and slap.
Punk Girl - Asked, and still asks me to come out and watch her band.
Mason/Al Quaeda girl - Lots of play slaps and pokes.
Vietnamese girlies - Tell me that their moms will make some, and they'll bring it for me. "Not good enough!" I tell em'
Kung Fu girlies - Ask me to teach them.

Do all of these sound retarded? Yes? GOOD! Now get out there and be an idiot. LOL

 

[bb213]

I should be a little more specific

I should add just a few details so you'll know exactly where I'm at. I've had girlfriends and some limited success with women, mostly due to luck. I can make guys laugh, and I'm even funny to girls -that I'm comfortable with or uninterested in- you know how that goes. But it's when I try to be ****y & funny in situations like your Starbucks example that I end up with ... well, results like in your Starbucks example. Except I know that I'm doing something wrong, unlike in your example. So I've tried getting rejected and tried "just doing it and acting confident" but it isn't working for me.
See, I want to learn the technique, or change my personality around hot girls, or whatever. But just doing it and acting confident is not working. So, I must be doing something wrong, most likely with the ****y & funny part.

Ok, I hope you can understand where I'm coming from now, and will follow up with some direction. Thanks for taking me up on this.

 

[Walden]

There is a difference between C+F and a neg hit.

Often C+F is done as self mocking arrogance eg telling the girl she has to keep her hands to herself tonight to show you're as confident as she is.

A neg hit is something that is only rarely useful. Occasionally you need to rip on the girl just so you're showing that youre not like her usual chumps who compliment her all the time.Very occasionally you drop a neg hit on a girl that's being a super beotch and she'll crumble.

It's like napalm , there's a time and a place , just cos it'ss unbelievably effective someplaces doen't mean you just go slathering it around all over the place.

If you've been busting neg hits all over the place , ten there's a reason it hasn't worked , chicks will think you're genuinelym a jerk.

 

[Julian]

Theres a thread named "top 10 favorite c % f lines" on the front page here.


Why make a new thread?!

 

[Shadow Dancer]

Ok B, looks like you're up to it so far. And you realize the mistakes I made and where. That's good.

"I've had girlfriends and some limited success with women, mostly due to luck. I can make guys laugh, and I'm even funny to girls -that I'm comfortable with or uninterested in- you know how that goes. But it's when I try to be ****y & funny in situations like your Starbucks example that I end up with ... well, results like in your Starbucks example. Except I know that I'm doing something wrong, unlike in your example. So I've tried getting rejected and tried "just doing it and acting confident" but it isn't working for me.
See, I want to learn the technique, or change my personality around hot girls, or whatever. But just doing it and acting confident is not working. So, I must be doing something wrong, most likely with the ****y & funny part."

There is some interesting stuff in what you just said. And what I'm mainly getting from what you wrote is that you aren't comfortable with who you are, when around hot women. You feel you have to impress them. That you have to come off as someone unique or the girls will just look past you. To an extent, that IS true. But you're TOO concerned with it to the point where it's making you freeze up. You say you completely able to be funny around people your comfortable with so what's the difference when you're around hot women? It's all in your mind. I know how it is. Been there myself until I got soooo tired of it that I just had to try something, anything! haha.

Here's what I did...

1) I totally detached myself from caring what the girl thought of me. I decided I would talk to women, not to get their info, but just for the EXPERIENCE itself. I allowed myself to become totally open to the experience of just meeting someone. Completely open to WHATEVER might happen, good, bad, or ugly. All I cared about was the experience. I didn't plan on taking it any further than that conversation. Because of that, I felt no pressure to be funny, no pressure to impress, no pressure to get the number. No pressure, period.

As I did that enough, I found it getting easier and easier to always be "myself". I started acting like I do when I'm with my friends. I became comfortable with who I was and my humor started to show finally! No more walking up and telling some lady her toes are dirty, hahah.

Now for what YOU are going to do...we're going to start small but a bit of a bigger step than you might be expecting. This should give you a buzz, a kick in the ass, and some great experience. If you're really serious, here we go...

Today, I want you to go out, alone, to a local coffee shop, mall, or anywhere where people gather to talk. As SOON as you spot a girl that you consider to be at least a 7 out of 10 in attractiveness walk straight up to her, IMMEDIATELY, and say exactly this...

"Excuse me. Hi, my name is ____. -Pause with a smile- And yours is?" (Offer your hand to shake)

When she tells you her name and after your done shaking hands, continue with...

"Well, Jessica (whatever her name is), I just wanted to come over here to tell you that I think you are stunningly beautiful. -Pause with a smile- Take care."

Then walk away. Don't worry about her reaction, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about getting her number, it doesn't matter. Don't worry about any kind of follow up. It doesn't matter. It's fine to be nervous. It's fine to mess up when talking to her. It's fine if you shiet your pants and it leaks on her shoes. It doesn't matter if any of that happens so long as you go for it. Just do it for simple pleasure of the experience itself.

Do this 5 times today and post the results. No excuses. I don't care if you're in Cambodia and don't know the local language. Do it anyway. You give me an excuse, I know you're not serious and you can find someone else to try and help you.


Ain't nothin to it but to do it. Let us know what happens!

-Shadow

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I think one of the best pieces of advice that revolves aroun being a DJ is the following:

ITS NOT WHAT YOU SAY, ITS HOW YOU SAY IT!!


I've been around a bunch of AFC's with a group of girls and they've said funny things plenty of times!! But the problem is it comes off as them trying too hard!! They don't sell the line, their body language, their expressions and thier tonality is all wrong.

Obiviously if your not funny, then you need to learn how to be. But more than that, you need to work on your delivery and selling the things your saying.



PIMP

 

[Nathan]

bb,

Sounds like you've received some awesome advice. As someone who has been the "class clown" and naturally funny all of my life, I have to reiterate that C&F is something that will emanate from your ATTITUDE, it isn't a technique you learn on a tape somewhere.


It's hard to fake effective C&F. I don't think it can be done.

Really, you just have to transform your attitude. Instead of, "I want to impress this hot girl," it needs to be, "I'm going to show this hot girl that SHE needs to impress ME."

When that happens, C&F will fall into place naturally, and it will work like a charm.


You mentioned that people find you funny, but it doesn't work when you are around a hot girl.

Have you ever had someone do the whole, "Say something funny!" I have, many times. And I can NEVER do it! That's because real humor CANNOT be forced, it has to be natural. And the reason your humor around attractive women is not effective is that you are nervous.

And, of course, you are nervous because you're still thinking that YOU have to impress THEM.

Deprogram yourself. They're only women. They need you more than you need them. Men like women for sex, women want men not just for sex, but for security, stability, and companionship. When you realize how much more is on the line for HER, it will radically change your game.


One last thing ... if you're not having much success with women now, don't be afraid to try unorthodox things. Don't be afraid to fail. After all, it's not like your results could get much worse, right??

This is not said in ridicule, but as an encouragement. Doing things the same way brings the same results, so don't be afraid of anything that you may be told here. Some of these guys offer EXCELLENT advice, and can completely turn your game around.

Good luck!

 

[bb213]

Results...

"Today, I want you to go out, alone, to a local coffee shop, mall, or anywhere where people gather to talk. As SOON as you spot a girl that you consider to be at least a 7 out of 10 in attractiveness walk straight up to her, IMMEDIATELY, and say exactly this...

"Excuse me. Hi, my name is ____. -Pause with a smile- And yours is?" (Offer your hand to shake)

When she tells you her name and after your done shaking hands, continue with...

"Well, Jessica (whatever her name is), I just wanted to come over here to tell you that I think you are stunningly beautiful. -Pause with a smile- Take care."

Then walk away. Don't worry about her reaction . . . Just do it for simple pleasure of the experience itself."

Well, so I went and did, or tried. I kinda froze. I mean, I wrote it all down because I knew it would be hard to remember at the time. I guess I've got a lot to overcome. I mean, I saw a few good candidates but I just, well, it just seemed so embarassing to go up to some girl and say that she is stunningly beautiful & my palm was sweaty anyway. Something in my mind just shut me down completely when I thought about saying what you wrote. I got kind of sick to my stomach and, it was just really bad. I could do it if I was just asking the time or directions or something stupid like that but saying exactly what you've set out just totally unnerved me. I ended up coming back home to rethink things and I'm trying not to feel too sick with myself. "simple pleasure of the experience itself"? Does it get fun with practice? This is the last thing I would do for fun right now. I'm hoping that will change.
Anyway, I'm going to do it. I am. But I've got to get some courage.
And I was wondering (probably not a good thing to think about) what if I see these girls again? It just seems almost humiliating to run into some girl you've been unsucessfully hitting on.

 

[Nathan]

Yes, it's fun. It's fun to flirt with women, to be confident and not give a fvck whether they reject you or not.

The interesting thing is, if you don't give a fvck, it shows in your attitude and you WON'T get rejected, because they can sense that you are not desperate and don't "need" them.


Your problem is that you do not have enough confidence in yourself.

Two men walk into the same towering building. One is the CEO of the company, one is the janitor.

How do you think they act and expect to be treated? Quite differently!


When it comes to approaching women, you see yourself as the janitor. You need to become the CEO.

You have to change your perception of yourself. You feel like you don't deserve these women, like you really have no business approaching them -- much LESS being confident with them and having the upper hand!

When you become the CEO in your own mind, that's when women will treat you as such.

It's all about how you perceive yourself. Those around you will follow suit.

 

[Nathan]

Yes, it's fun. It's fun to flirt with women, to be confident and not give a fvck whether they reject you or not. Women are FUN!

The interesting thing is, if you don't give a fvck, it shows in your attitude and you WON'T get rejected, because they can sense that you are not desperate and don't "need" them.


Your problem is that you do not have enough confidence in yourself.

Two men walk into the same towering building. One is the CEO of the company, one is the janitor.

How do you think they act and expect to be treated? Quite differently!


When it comes to approaching women, you see yourself as the janitor. You need to become the CEO.

You have to change your perception of yourself. You feel like you don't deserve these women, like you really have no business approaching them -- much LESS being confident with them and having the upper hand!

When you become the CEO in your own mind, that's when women will treat you as such.

It's all about how you perceive yourself. Those around you will follow suit.

 

[Shadow Dancer]

Well, so I went and did, or tried. I kinda froze. I mean, I wrote it all down because I knew it would be hard to remember at the time. I guess I've got a lot to overcome. I mean, I saw a few good candidates but I just, well, it just seemed so embarassing to go up to some girl and say that she is stunningly beautiful & my palm was sweaty anyway. Something in my mind just shut me down completely when I thought about saying what you wrote. I got kind of sick to my stomach and, it was just really bad. I could do it if I was just asking the time or directions or something stupid like that but saying exactly what you've set out just totally unnerved me. I ended up coming back home to rethink things and I'm trying not to feel too sick with myself. "simple pleasure of the experience itself"? Does it get fun with practice? This is the last thing I would do for fun right now. I'm hoping that will change.
Anyway, I'm going to do it. I am. But I've got to get some courage.
And I was wondering (probably not a good thing to think about) what if I see these girls again? It just seems almost humiliating to run into some girl you've been unsucessfully hitting on.

Ooooooohhhh wwweeeeeee!!! hahahhahaha...bwahahahhaha. Ay man, I know the sick to your stomach feeling all too well. I could picture EXACTLY how you were feeling, cause I've been in your spot before, which is why I find this funny. I know how it is. hahaha.

You didn't go through with it, but you DID go out with the intention of getting it done. Give yourself some credit for that. Most guys just sit at the comp and stick their thumbs up their arse. Hey, while you were out, so was I. Got a date set up for Tuesday. Which leads me to your question..."Does it get fun?". YES. A resounding YES. The reason it's not fun is because you're nervous of all the "bad" things that could happen.

The thing is, 99% of the time, NOTHING bad happens. No boyfriends come to kick your butt. The woman doesn't throw her drink or food on you. She doesn't bring attention to the scene to embarrass you. What she DOES do, if not interested, is say, "I'm flattered, but no thank you." or "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend." and she smiles. In fact, they LOVE it. Especially if you just walk up to a woman and tell her she's beautiful without expecting anything...man, you just made her day, especially if she was feeling down. The worst thing that has ever happened to me was nothing bad at all but she told me she had a bf and then went on to tell me that she was sure that some girl out there would be right for me. And that if I kept looking I would find her because she (the girl who was talking) wasn't good enough for me. That I deserved better. hahhaha Like she was talking to some little kid. But hey, shiet happens. And of all the bad things you could think, that's really not that bad, huh?

So what if you see those women again? They will remember you as that mysterious guy who had balls to walk up to them and then brighten their day by telling them what they can't get enough of; "You are stunningly beautiful".

And how many times in their life do you think that has happened. Chances are, a big fat zero. Guys just say, "Errr, I bet you have a boyfried huh?" or "Gee, you're so sexy, can I take you out sometime?". Completely giving off the "I'm not worthy, please have pity on my wretched self, O Goddess of the light!" vibe. But doing what I told you to do is the complete opposite and you will TOTALLY make the woman feel special.

Also keep in mind that you will always get more "no's" than "yes's" from women. If you stick to meeting women only after they give you the signals then you'll have a better track record. But I like going up to any woman that catches my fancy without waiting for her to show interest first. I get a lot of turn downs. And I also have a lot of success's.

Try again manana, and post it up. On Tuesday, I'll post how my date went.

*Edit*
Girl just called and said she forgot that she has concert plans on Tuesday so she can't make it. haha. Was ending the call when she asked if we could make it for a different day cause she still wanted to go out. Told her I was busy Wednesday but I had some free time on Thursday. Date rescheduled for Thursday. So I'll update with info then.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Walden
There is a difference between C+F and a neg hit.

Often C+F is done as self mocking arrogance eg telling the girl she has to keep her hands to herself tonight to show you're as confident as she is.

A neg hit is something that is only rarely useful. Occasionally you need to rip on the girl just so you're showing that youre not like her usual chumps who compliment her all the time.Very occasionally you drop a neg hit on a girl that's being a super beotch and she'll crumble.

It's like napalm , there's a time and a place , just cos it'ss unbelievably effective someplaces doen't mean you just go slathering it around all over the place.

If you've been busting neg hits all over the place , ten there's a reason it hasn't worked , chicks will think you're genuinelym a jerk.

This is the best distinction I have ever read about the difference between c+f and neg-hits. Plus a agree about the usage of neg-hits, they should be use sparingly. If you feel that it is necessary to use them a lot, either you or the woman you're going after is a jerk.

 

[bb213]

2nd try

Shadow,

"So what if you see those women again? They will remember you as that mysterious guy who had balls to walk up to them and then brighten their day by telling them what they can't get enough of; "You are stunningly beautiful".

And how many times in their life do you think that has happened. Chances are, a big fat zero. Guys just say, "Errr, I bet you have a boyfried huh?" or "Gee, you're so sexy, can I take you out sometime?". Completely giving off the "I'm not worthy, please have pity on my wretched self, O Goddess of the light!" vibe. But doing what I told you to do is the complete opposite and you will TOTALLY make the woman feel special.

Also keep in mind that you will always get more "no's" than "yes's" from women. If you stick to meeting women only after they give you the signals then you'll have a better track record. But I like going up to any woman that catches my fancy without waiting for her to show interest first. I get a lot of turn downs. And I also have a lot of success's.

Try again manana, and post it up. On Tuesday, I'll post how my date went."

So I tried again as I was walking around today. I still choked, but I did say hi to a few. They smiled (sometimes) and looked at their feet as they kept walking. I learned something interesting, what makes me nervous and frustrated about this situation is that I can talk to anyone as long as I have somethinig (else) I need to say to them. If I need to tell them something school/work related or if I know them from somewhere or even if they are wearing something that I have a connection to (a shirt from my college, or something like that) then it is easier. But approaching a woman just to tell her that you admire her, just because you want to talk to her, that's what's hard. It seems like she would be thinking "he is so desperate, what a loser" or something. But I'm determined to do this. It isn't going to happen like you wrote it down, but I can do this, I'm sure of it.

And you said something interesting in that last post that I don't quite grasp. How is saying:

"Gee, you're so sexy, can I take you out sometime?". (Completely giving off the "I'm not worthy, please have pity on my wretched self, O Goddess of the light!" vibe. But doing what I told you to do is the complete opposite and you will TOTALLY make the woman feel special.)"

different than saying a woman is "stunningly beautiful"? Aside from the crudeness of the comment; is it the whole point that you are not asking if she has a boyfriend and not asking her out, but complementing her...I don't quite have the difference resolved, in being supplicating (bad) and being whatever you want to call it, a challenge or unlike other guys. I mean, in both situations you're giving her a compliment which is what everyone else does, right?

Well, tomorrow this thing is happening. And do post the results of your date, Shadow, I'd like to see how that turns out...

 

[RawkinKaoticStyle]

mind if i get in this.......??

im going to do this tomorrow

il post my results

 

[Shadow Dancer]

The difference is the vibe you're feeling and giving off. It is most definitely noticable.

Picture someone saying each of those things we talked about (the weak things). Now, picture in your mind the EXACT way a person would be standing while saying them. Make their posture and body language match what they are saying. Then match the tone they are using. Now do the same for stuff I told you to say.

You'll see the difference very quickly. One way the person comes off as weak and unsure of himself...because HE IS. The other, the person comes off as strong and confident, again because he is. These are subtle, but profound differences. With experience it will become more apparent.

Normally, your actions, body language, etc., flow forth from the emotional state you're experience at the time. Remember a time you were confident, whatever and whenever...now do you you remember how you acted? Also remember a time you felt afraid and weak, how did you act then? In both situations your actions naturally came from the emotional state you were in.

I said "normally" because you can do the reverse. Through your actions you can create an emotional state. Smile for a length of time and you WILL become happy. Frown long enough and you WILL become upset. Stand tall and proud, breathe slowly, and move deliberately and you WILL feel confident. You will lose that confidence when you're challenged because you're not an overall confident person. BUT, if you keep ACTING, and BELIEVING you are a confident person, everything around you will fall in line and become congruent with your new belief, hence you really will be a confident person. Even when faced with talking to a women, or a challenge at work, or about to get pounded to a pulp by some 6'5 meathead, haha. You're confidence will spill over into other areas of your life further proving to yourself how confident you are, which then continues the cycle.

And this is not something I say because I read it on some site, haha. I know this to be true because I did the exact thing I'm writing about. I was the shyest, quietest, most un-confident kid I think I've ever known or known of. Never looked anyone in the eye because I didn't want them to talk to me or keep talking to me. What could I offer that was something worth talking about? I didn't have friends for a long time. And those I did, were really just trying to exploit my weaknesses for their gain. I once had a chance to have sex with this hot girl while a concert, long story, but as much as I wanted to, I was scared of "messing up". So I ran away into the crowd. Literally. hahhah. I had a cruch on some girl for 4 years and didn't want to tell her cause I felt I would make her uncomfortable. I mean, I could go on, and on, and on.

I got so tired of it finally that I had to make a change. It was gradual. Very gradual and very hard. It took a lot of internal struggling and soul searching and struggles on the outside as well. Years later, I look at who I am today and what I've done with myself and I'm amazed. Holy shiet, it's crazy how much I've changed. A complete 180, several times! And if I can do it, I'm positive you can too. So just keep at it man, you'll get it.



Kaotic,

You're more than welcome to go for it as well.




-Shadow

 

[bb213]

Pimpin' aint easy

Thanks, Shadow (& other replies as well, but not quite as much), that does really help.

There is just something about revealing to a girl that I am attracted to her...I guess it's the rejection thing. I mean, I know nothing overtly bad is going to happen but; for example:
A few times before I have gone up to girls I am attracted to and started talking to them (at school, in the gym, etc.). Just keeping it short and fun. Then the next time I see them they tend to have less to say and tend not to be as talkative. After a while, some tend to ignore me, or look past me & pretend they don't know me. It just becomes really awkward. Now, when I meet people & talk with them with no interest/attraction it goes fine. I do actually have lots of friends & acquaintances. I suppose I am just that nervous around girls I am attracted to. It's sort of a phobia. It is strange, because I am confident in other aspects of my life.
But I guess that is just the process. I would be more confident in approaching girls if I thought it wasn't going to be awkward later on when I see them again. But that is probably just me making excuses, right?
I'm determined to do this, one way or another. Thanks for your help.
(by the way, if I ever get up the courage to say the whole "stunningly beautiful" thing, what would the next step be? Just curious how you come up with these tests...)

 

[RawkinKaoticStyle]

ok heres what i did

i brang one of my favorate cookies to school

i vever eat during school so by the end of the day im famished

so i said to myself , when i say that to a chick i can eat my cookie

and really almost the whole day i couldent find any chicks to do it to because i wanted to find one that was stationary so i could walk away when ever i can rather than having one that walking in the same direction, then i would have to walk the other way or walk faster. because in the line it says to say take care and walk away right.

well i only saw 2 chicks today that were stationary

i went up to the first ne and im like HI

and she turned her face and it was a chick i knew, so i totally lost my shyt , because it would seem weird saying my name , when she already knew it, so i played it of by doing some flayfull weird handshake, after that i sayd ****

then at the end of school , all i wanted was my cookie, so i see a chick thats in one of my classes and i do everything , and it all goes how it sounds , but i wasent happy with it because that chick was in my class.

so i still ate my cookie for doing it, lol

but im going more tomorrow , its fun

i hope i gont get an ego-ish baytch, bah