7 months since the breakup... my progress

[Romjuan]

Its been a while since i have posted here so i thought id give an update/ personal progress journal type log. Maybe its for my own personal gain or maybe someone could benefit from this thread.

I already know I'm going to hear it from Jophil and Kailex about this, but I still miss my ex everyday. i think about her daily but the difference now than with 3 months ago is I feel like i got my personality back.

I have always taken pride in being that fun/ funny guy to be around but after the breakup I felt like i lost my personality. I didnt feel like being funny, or engaging in conversations with strangers. Around work i just minded my own business, but now I feel like its back. Im constantly cracking jokes, having a good time with others and just feel great. I have gone NC with the ex since 4th of july and it does help. I hear she has a bf now and it really gave me some closure as well. I remember an awesome quote from Swingers that always stuck with me that hit the mark:
"How long did it take for you to get over it?"
"you know how it is man, you wake up one day and it hurts a little bit less, then you wake up one day and it doesnt hurt at all.....the funny thing is...you almost miss the pain...for the same reason you missed her, because youve lived with it."

Even though i think about her, i no longer hurt or worry about her. you wake up every day and it hurts less. sometimes i catch myself thinking, im not hurting at all and i dont give a f- about whats going on with her, then that "funny" thing happens. I started missing the fact I dont miss her anymore. It kind of puts me into panic mode.

Things I have done in the past 3 months to help me get over it.
ive joined a muay thai class
worked out at the gym like a mofo
work full-time
go to college full-time
moved into an awesome place with a new roommate


Ive become like Jim Carrey in Yes Man recently as well too. Anytime a friend says, "hey you want to go to xxx" ive said yes. Just last week i went to an nfl exhibition game, 2 mlb games, 2 concerts, went to the bars , and this weekend going to a cabin in the snow.

I guess the point in all this is Im extemely busy. The fact Ive been busy i havnt had time to dwell on negative things for long. My body is moving. My main concern now is there is not enough time in the day to do all the things i want. Some days i can not work out and i get pissed.

Girls have been on the backburner. I really liked reading the thread on here about taking breaks from women. I have been doing that because lack of time, and now they are rolling in. Nothing great, bunch of 6's and 7's. I have a feeling the 8's and 9's are around the corner.

While i was going through training at work, my trainer told me a phrase that he would mutter to himself when time gets tough, and i thought it was relevant in my life right now. Ive been so busy with my personal improvement that i havnt been able to see my family. After hearing the phrase i felt it meant o much that i thought about getting it tattooed on my body. Still might do it. Here is the phrase:

Work hard
Be cool
The hardship is only temporary

 

[f283000]

Any man that is that tortured about a breakup with a woman cannot really be called a man.

 

[Romjuan]

you're worthless f283000. ive seen your last 4 posts in threads and not one is postive nor helpful to anyone. If you dont have anything to say that helps others then dont say it.

Any man that is that tortured about a breakup with a woman cannot really be called a man.

does this post do anything for you? did it make you feel like a bad ass insulting me in my thread? were you trying to be funny to gain respect from others?

I have fukked easily over 100 women and im only 30. Some women have a greater impact on individuals and its websites like this that help understand why things happen and how to improve.

 

[romangod]

Any man that is that tortured about a breakup with a woman cannot really be called a man.

This is nonsense. You probably have very little experience with relationships and women. Maybe you'll understand if you ever get one.

To Romjuan:

Good job and keep up the good work. It sounds like you're on the right path.


Cheers!

 

[mrRuckus]

This is nonsense. You probably have very little experience with relationships and women. Maybe you'll understand if you ever get one.

You might not agree with something, but could we leave the female insults at the door? It's irritating enough when they do it.

 

[romangod]

You might not agree with something, but could we leave the female insults at the door? It's irritating enough when they do it.

I didn't know he was a female.

Still, if she wants to make a blanket statement that does more harm than good then it doesn't help anyone.


Cheers!

 

[cordoncordon]

Any man that is that tortured about a breakup with a woman cannot really be called a man.

You're an idiot.

Romjuan keep up the great work, glad to hear it.

 

[Kailex]

I already know I'm going to hear it from Jophil and Kailex about this, but I still miss my ex everyday. i think about her daily but the difference now than with 3 months ago is I feel like i got my personality back.

My qualm with you isn't that you miss your ex. My qualm with you is that you never tried to do anything to TRULY get over her. Anyone here that says that they never at least thought about an ex, even to this day... is most likely lying. The memories of that person might not be fond, but there'll always be ONE situation where you remember her.

It's what you CHOOSE to do with those memories that will define who you are.

You sat groveling, moping, and moaning for MONTHS about her, putting yourself in precarious situations and THAT is what you drove me nuts.

It gets a little better everyday, but everyday that you spend in a corner, rocking back and forth missing a woman who stepped all over you, is a day less of being happy and feeling YOURSELF.

Even though i think about her, i no longer hurt or worry about her. you wake up every day and it hurts less. sometimes i catch myself thinking, im not hurting at all and i dont give a f- about whats going on with her, then that "funny" thing happens. I started missing the fact I dont miss her anymore. It kind of puts me into panic mode.

Everytime you go into panic mode, just take 5 minutes, think about all that EVIL stuff she did to you, and watch it go away.

Things I have done in the past 3 months to help me get over it.
ive joined a muay thai class
worked out at the gym like a mofo
work full-time
go to college full-time
moved into an awesome place with a new roommate


Ive become like Jim Carrey in Yes Man recently as well too. Anytime a friend says, "hey you want to go to xxx" ive said yes. Just last week i went to an nfl exhibition game, 2 mlb games, 2 concerts, went to the bars , and this weekend going to a cabin in the snow.

I guess the point in all this is Im extemely busy. The fact Ive been busy i havnt had time to dwell on negative things for long. My body is moving. My main concern now is there is not enough time in the day to do all the things i want. Some days i can not work out and i get pissed.

Sometimes not having enough time in the day to do all the things you want is a GOOD thing. Don't get pissed, be HAPPY. It's something to look forward to.

Girls have been on the backburner. I really liked reading the thread on here about taking breaks from women. I have been doing that because lack of time, and now they are rolling in. Nothing great, bunch of 6's and 7's. I have a feeling the 8's and 9's are around the corner.

Women should always be on the backburner.
Remember, ROMJUAN is #1.

I'm glad to see progress.

But it's not so much the progress that I am glad to see, it's the shift in your tone. I'm not telling you to go read past posts, but the overall tone in the last year from you has been GLOOM. You FINALLY sound positive and happy to be living life.

2010 is NOT over yet.

You still have 4 months to be the best Romjuan you CAN be and you'll realize that you don't need a woman to do that.

Keep it up. I don't want to see you slipping at all.

 

[Mr.H]

Sounds like you are doing really great dude. I am 5 months down the line from a 13 year relationship and I went through the loss of personality after we split. I went very quiet and kept myself to myself, until I realised that no woman is worth me getting depressed about. Since we parted I've gone out way more, got a few women to entertain me and I have travelled more in the past 3 months than I did in the past 5 years.

 

[cordoncordon]

Sounds like you are doing really great dude. I am 5 months down the line from a 13 year relationship and I went through the loss of personality after we split. I went very quiet and kept myself to myself, until I realised that no woman is worth me getting depressed about. Since we parted I've gone out way more, got a few women to entertain me and I have travelled more in the past 3 months than I did in the past 5 years.

What I have always found interesting, and this is true of almost every friend of mine, and every male family member, but I find interesting the fact that more times than not, it is usually the female who breaks up with the male, and it is almost ALWAYS the male who goes into a deep sense of depression for months to even years after a break up, while the female usually just goes on her merry way like all is well.

I really think this is because of two reasons. One, a female, no matter how ugly, can usually find a date or a mate in a day if they want to. I mean there is no shortage or males out there trying to get with them. And two, imo a male, no matter how miserable he is, will have a very hard time ever breaking up with a female. He would rather stay with her and be miserable, or cheat and stay with her, than break up. I really think this has to do with evolution and the fact that the male species of almost every animal has a "herding" instinct. That is to get as many females as possible, to breed with them, and he will often fight to the death to keep her from mating with another male.

I also might add another reason, many females I have talked to about this say it takes A LOT for them to break up with their mate, but once they make that decision to do so, they are very good at sticking to that decision and moving on. It's like they finally hit a point where they have had enough, and no matter what the male does from then on, her decision is final. Males tend to waffle a lot more when it comes to this and be more willing to take her back..again the herding instinct.

 

[Mr.H]

That sounds about right.

 

[f283000]

I have fukked easily over 100 women and im only 30. Some women have a greater impact on individuals and its websites like this that help understand why things happen and how to improve.

Sure you have. Is this why you are crying over some b|tch that did you wrong?

In fact this tells you're lying because the more women you f**** the less you give a damn about them. So i'm guessing she must have been your first.

But it doesn't really matter. I'm not insulting you brother I just take offense to your thread. What we guys don't need is threads like this further promulgating WIMPY MEN. We don't need threads in these forum crying about breakups like if we are some damn wimps. This is not DJ mentality, this is the mentality of weak men.

Threads like these go against nature. Nature tell us that women are naturally attracted to alpha males because in the ancient days they were the warriors, they were the ones more likely to protect them and give them strong offspring. In the ancient days men were warriors and conquerors and f***d any woman that looked good to them.

They didn't cry over losing a woman they just went on to get the next one. So you see how women have not evolved from wanting the alpha male as in the ancient days but men have gone backwards in their masculinity as they now spend their time crying over women.

I hope you now understand where I'm coming from which might be a little too much for some here. Every time I see a thread about a breakup it makes me cringe. That is going against our nature as men this is why I attack your thread. We don't need this garbage in our community. This stuff is what is keeping men down.

We must embrace our nature us men.

 

[catman]

Good reply kailex!! I have to keep telling myself this and yes keeping busy really is the key to moving on!