5 Weeks of College

[jeffthechef]

I don't recognize many of the users who have created threads recently. This is my first time back on the site btw, probably been a few months already.
ANYWAYS

I'm here to share a little bit about what I've learned so far, after 5 weeks of college. A little background first...I'm 6'2-6'4, asian, a little longer than a buzz cut, average/toned (GET YOUR ASS TO THE GYM AND LIFT WEIGHTS...i've gained 20lbs since i started towards the second half of my senior year...dont become vain/conceited/narcissistic..BUT it definitely only does you good), definitely can make girls laugh, but not a "social butterfly", gone through oneitis and being a pure AFC, i go to a large university in nyc.

Meet as many girls as you can during welcome week/move in time before classes start. The girls i hang out iwth a lot are the girls i approached the first week, on my floor..One of them i fell hard for.

ONEITIS ALL OVER...It's like freshman year of hs...I got oneitis. Yes, I did. She wasn't physically a 10 or anything...honestly, probably a 7ish... BUT i didn't fall for the looks, i fell HARD for her personality..She had this aura/disposition that only one girl i've met before had.

I was getting emotional over stupid ****..i was possessive, jealous, paranoid, etc. What made it worse was that she lives on the same floor...one door down, though the rooms are rather spaced apart...so i would see her every time she left/returned because of the location of the elevators...We hung out every weekend for the first 4 weeks and sometimes i would go with her to eat on the weekdays...or she would drop by my room to just hang out..

I don't know if i would say i ruined things, but i wouldn't blame her for being over me, if she was ever into me...I just recovered tonight, I'm a veteran/have enough experience to know i've recovered. What helped? Talking to these other girls on the floor that i didn't talk to much before. And then, talking to other girls across from our room. (there are only 4 guys on our floor)..and then, blasting music while dancing with some of the girls and the other 3 guys on the floor at 11 at night on a sunday...while we all had lots of fcking hwk left to do..btw, it's almost 12 and none of us have started our hwk HAH..

I realize now, once again, that there are other girls to "court", to have fun with. Other girls to flirt with, touch, and hopefully get into bed/the bathroom/floor with.

This girl i had oneitis for...i won't deny, she's great and definitely relationship material..I'm not giving up on her because i haven't been rejected officially yet. I'm going to return to who i was before i met her, the Alpha who was laid back..who wanted to have fun with every girl. Who wasn't needy/possessive/jealous/emotional/paranoid/etc. The guy who loved life, every day, every little thing about it. I'm going to see her tomorrow and give her a hug (i stil lhaven't done because i tried to treat her different and not get too touchy because i thought that it'd mess things up BECAUSE I WAS BEING AN AFC DUMBASS)...if i'm feeling the vibes, i'm going to kiss her on the cheek while i hug her and whisper into her ear something that will make her melt. Then, i'm going to smile and walk away, knowing for damn sure she'll be dying to hang out with me again.

If you have questions, feel free to ask.

 

[Ice882]

Does saying "sexy sh1t" actually work??

What do you tell girls to "make them melt?"

Do you tell them they're beautiful? Or what.

 

[jeffthechef]

Does saying "sexy sh1t" actually work??

What do you tell girls to "make them melt?"

Do you tell them they're beautiful? Or what.

i find some of the advice on this forum to be extreme.."never compliment" "don't open the door for the girl" "don't be friends"..

I hardly say sexy ****...unless i'm in a relationship/want to be in one with a particular girl.

How do you make her feel good? Tell the truth. There has to be specific characteristics/features you like about a girl. For example, I love this girl's laugh a lot, among other things (smile, way she looks at me when she tries to be angry at me, how she always eats the same thing, way she walks around things on the sidewalk). I'll get her laughing a little before we say goodbye. Then, I'll hug her and whisper that I love "so and so" because it "reminds me of" or "makes me feel bla bla". Just be genuine. You can compliment, just don't overdo it because you don't want your compliments to be trite to her.

I've had girls admit they're self-conscious/don't like something about themselves physically, and usually/all the time, it's silly. So, when the time is right or if she's really down about it, i'll tell her she's beautiful. How you deliver the line matters much more than the line. The mood/tone/gesture that accompanies the words.

 

[eaglez1177]

Jeff, good to hear from you man. Ive been down here at JMU for about five weeks as well and its been going great. Ive been able to protect my heart and haven't fallen into a oneitis, but yes, talking to other chicks ALWAYS helps to get over things. Its good tho that you recognize and are recovering from this; I see way too many guys down here that simply just dont realize their oneitis lol.

I actually wound up getting my first denial for a kiss about a week and a half ago or so, which was kinda strange but I definitely learned my lesson. Aside from that, the chicks down here are so, so damn hot, and the ratio is 70-30 girls to guys.

Probably the biggest piece of advice I can provide is this:

Youre on a clean slate at college with everyone. Make a lasting first impression. This is your chance to be a new man and really change yourself for the better. Also, have fun, but remember why youre in college in the first place. College is NOT just for getting laid and having fun with a lot of different girls. You HAVE to work hard, study, get good grades, network, and really put yourself out there. Try to get an internship as hard as you can; the earlier the better. DO NOT procrastinate, because it simply wont work. Tests in college are usually much longer and cover much more material than in highschool, so you have to study a little bit every night.

Other than that, I wish you all the best of luck, be safe, and talk to you soon!

 

[jeffthechef]

sounds like things are going good for you in general...

just a little follow up on the oneitis girl

i talked to her roommate and the oneitis, which made me jealous/;possessive/paranoid/etc...was making me come off as EXTREMELY WEIRD..i was doing things out of character...

definitely my biggeswt problem when i get jealous, which is a problem in and of itself, is that i become weird and make the girl uncomfortable..

BEWARE OF THAT!

And eagles, i'm sure we'll be in contact through SS

 

[I'm in the Mood]

This girl i had oneitis for...i won't deny, she's great and definitely relationship material..I'm not giving up on her because i haven't been rejected officially yet. I'm going to return to who i was before i met her, the Alpha who was laid back..who wanted to have fun with every girl. Who wasn't needy/possessive/jealous/emotional/paranoid/etc. The guy who loved life, every day, every little thing about it.

OKay man, I am totally in favor of guys who want to have fun & love life. As of now, you've probably noticed that it's hard to do around this girl. I remember reading a lot of your posts in the past and I really want you to succeed, because you seem like an honest dude who just wants to have fun!

Think about your goals though. Your goal here appears to be that you want to become a fun, sexy guy. Yet, something isn't right here. You say that "I'm not giving up on her because I haven't been rejected officially yet." Basically, what I see here is that you want her approval. You REALLY want her approval, because you're giving her a lot of love and you're not getting any in return. You're also blaming yourself for your so-called "failure" and that's pretty unhelpful, not to mention unfair to you.

I believe that your emotions went a bit crazy because you really want her approval, and you feel a tension in that she's not giving you enough of her's.

Right now, your goal is to get this girl, among other goals. This really isn't going to work out for you man. You have her as they say, "on the pedestal," and she's hard to get in your mind. She's hard to get because you have to work for her, right? I mean, you're here refering to her as "oneitis girl," as somebody who has grabbed ahold of you & your emotions.

Here is my advice: relax & move on.
Let yourself forget about her, even if she really is "great." Remember that girl from your freshman year of High School? Just what exactly happened with this type of girl? And most importantly, did she ruin your happiness and that good feeling inside of you?

Sometimes, when things aren't going your way, you have to completely change your attitude and behavior to get the mood right again.

You weren't coming off as "extremely weird" dude. That's just the insecurity detector in your mind going off. Call an electrician to remove that detector, and maybe then you can relax and have fun, and be the fun-loving guy that you truly want to be.

Later!

 

[jeffthechef]

OKay man, I am totally in favor of guys who want to have fun & love life. As of now, you've probably noticed that it's hard to do around this girl. I remember reading a lot of your posts in the past and I really want you to succeed, because you seem like an honest dude who just wants to have fun!

Think about your goals though. Your goal here appears to be that you want to become a fun, sexy guy. Yet, something isn't right here. You say that "I'm not giving up on her because I haven't been rejected officially yet." Basically, what I see here is that you want her approval. You REALLY want her approval, because you're giving her a lot of love and you're not getting any in return. You're also blaming yourself for your so-called "failure" and that's pretty unhelpful, not to mention unfair to you.

I believe that your emotions went a bit crazy because you really want her approval, and you feel a tension in that she's not giving you enough of her's.

Right now, your goal is to get this girl, among other goals. This really isn't going to work out for you man. You have her as they say, "on the pedestal," and she's hard to get in your mind. She's hard to get because you have to work for her, right? I mean, you're here refering to her as "oneitis girl," as somebody who has grabbed ahold of you & your emotions.

Here is my advice: relax & move on.
Let yourself forget about her, even if she really is "great." Remember that girl from your freshman year of High School? Just what exactly happened with this type of girl? And most importantly, did she ruin your happiness and that good feeling inside of you?

Sometimes, when things aren't going your way, you have to completely change your attitude and behavior to get the mood right again.

You weren't coming off as "extremely weird" dude. That's just the insecurity detector in your mind going off. Call an electrician to remove that detector, and maybe then you can relax and have fun, and be the fun-loving guy that you truly want to be.

Later!

yeah, i definitely agree that i was seeking approval..i also was being really insecure, which is a source for jealously/possessiveness..i was afraid of messing things up...afraid of losing her to another guy, when i found out that there aren't any other guys..there's no one.

But yes, i agree

 

[sandford34]

good post.