3rd date...woman taking uber to meet up...subtle hint?

[WayTooReal]

Hey all, quick read on this situation appreciated. Got a 3rd date coming up with this woman and we are meeting downtown. She has been kind of low key, definitely interested but somewhat shy it seems like...nervous about PDA's in public, etc.

But I sense she is really attracted to me. She messaged me after the first date to let me know she had a great time, and makes it easy for me to see her even when I got busy and didn't contact her for a week. I shot her a text and she immediately accepted the date i proposed.

So my question is with this taking an uber down to where we are meeting, is this a subtle play by her so I end up driving her back to her place, which could potentially lead to an invite in and other things? Or am i reading into this too much? My gut tells me this is being done with a purpose in mind but maybe I'm ovethinking this.

What say you fellow DJs? Any experience with similar situations?

FYI we haven't smashed yet. Made out first date and kissed and she hugged me very tightly on the second date before we left and she told me how good my hug felt...

 

[jaymbrs]

Seems like high IL. I would say so however may need some more details. Is taking an uber the most convenient way to get around where you live? Did she drive the last 2 dates? How did her mentioning that she's taking an Uber come up?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Or am i reading into this too much?

The missing variable is how she feels about using uber.

It could be that's just her preferred method of going out when alcohol will be involved.

In which case it could mean the opposite, meaning she thinks of uber as her independence, not being dependent on a her car or your car.

Forget about reading into it and have fun.

That being said, this post reminds me of way back when I sold cars. One day a lady showed up in a taxi, got out paid the dude and the taxi left.

Dudes descended on her like starving sharks on a lost baby seal.

 

[WayTooReal]

Seems like high IL. I would say so however may need some more details. Is taking an uber the most convenient way to get around where you live? Did she drive the last 2 dates? How did her mentioning that she's taking an Uber come up?

She drove the last two dates, driving and parking is relatively easy, its not like she would need to pay for parking, there is plenty of parking lot of street parking available and even if she ended up paying for parking in a nearby lot it would be much cheaper than taking an Uber.

I set up the place and she said "Sounds good, I'll probably just take an Uber down there".

 

[jaymbrs]

She drove the last two dates, driving and parking is relatively easy, its not like she would need to pay for parking, there is plenty of parking lot of street parking available and even if she ended up paying for parking in a nearby lot it would be much cheaper than taking an Uber.

I set up the place and she said "Sounds good, I'll probably just take an Uber down there".

The ball is in your court as far as how the night ends, I'd say. Perfect opportunity to let her enjoy herself with an extra drink or 2. Just reassure her you'll be okay with driving her home. This should be a slam dunk.

 

[Tilex]

That chick is gonna melt like butter in your arms homie.
Except you take her back to your place first before you take her back home.

 

[ubercat]

Mate she's done her job she keeps turning up. Physically escalate the f*** out of the date. Just make sure you take her to a large venue with a few dark corners. Or venue switch so you can give her a good pash and to feel up in some alley along the way. Its date 3 in 2018 she has to give you at least some heavy action to get to date four.

Usual escalation rules combine some bold moves with one step forward one step back. Nevermind her shyness greet her with a hug and a quick peck on the lips. And then put a hand on a back to guide her to your table. And don't hesitate you're the man by the time things get to this stage you have to take charge. Otherwise you will get a storm of s*** tests or the no chemistry talk. Which basically means you were a ****less wonder

 

[WayTooReal]

Well, the date went well, she was super responsive, always seeking my approval for things, talking about all these future things we can do together, facetiming her friends to let me say hi to them, grabbing my hand when we are walking places and spending money on me.

At one point we were standing there watching a band play and I started stroking her hair and scalp for a few minutes and she told me how amazing it felt and then the rest of the date she kept bringing it up and how she is going to think about how good that felt all weekend now. She also made it a point to tell me several times that she was raised "proper" but is not a prude by any means. No idea WTF I am supposed to take away from that.

I told her I was really busy this weekend doing school work and she literally asked me if it was OK if she texts me tomorrow because she really wants to but doesn't want to disturb me. I just laughed and told her it was fine and she might even get lucky and get a response. She seemed really happy about it. I found that kinda weird but whatever.

Got a pretty heavy make out session when i dropped her off, I tried grabbing her hand and putting on my d!ck but she wasnt going for it...said she is much more comfortable with me now but still not comfortable enough for that yet. It was almost 1 am at this point and I was tired, so I said OK cool and left. Could I have pushed it? Yeah probably but I probably wouldnt have gotten much farther.

She just texted me that she had a great time, thanked me for dropping her off and said she can't wait to see me again.

I mean it almost seems like she is already considering me her boyfriend at some level, which is not going to happen yet no matter how hard she pushes right now.

I'm assuming its probably going to be on within the next date or two but at the same time I'm kinda like WTF. Not used to women being this slow to warm up, I'm usually not the guy waiting around for it, things usually happen pretty quick with interested women.

Opinions? Thinking if I don't at least get her naked/or get a BJ next date that I'm just going to say fvck it and be done. She has an amazing rack...natural 36 DD(she made a comment about some girl having huge boobs, so I pointed out look who is talking and then guessed 38 D to which she corrected me) so I definitely want to see those, but I'm not playing a waiting game with anyone either.

 

[WayTooReal]

Any advice on what could be going on here from females? I get the sense she has ultra high interest but maybe something else is going on.

@BeExcellent @AJ84 @sazc

 

[sazc]

What's going on is that she's not a slut. You guys run around these boards, bashing women for riding the c0ck carosel, then complaining that if your aren't getting any FROM THE SAME WOMEN by the second date your going to drop them, THEN complain about the decent women who are absolutely interested, but aren't slvts.

All of you make it impossible for women to win.

You get the feeling she is into you, her behavior and your intuition are telling you this, but if she doesn't put out you're going to drop her. Oy vey.

You either need to find other women to fvck while you get to know this one, or admit that you're only looking for a plate right now, and move on.

Continue to try and seduce her, maybe she will give in. There's also the real possibility that she's looking for confirmation of relationship status and monogamy level, before the panties drop.

 

[WayTooReal]

What's going on is that she's not a slut. You guys run around these boards, bashing women for riding the c0ck carosel, then complaining that if your aren't getting any FROM THE SAME WOMEN by the second date your going to drop them, THEN complain about the decent women who are absolutely interested, but aren't slvts.

All of you make it impossible for women to win.

You get the feeling she is into you, her behavior and your intuition are telling you this, but if she doesn't put out you're going to drop her. Oy vey.

You either need to find other women to fvck while you get to know this one, or admit that you're only looking for a plate right now, and move on.

Continue to try and seduce her, maybe she will give in. There's also the real possibility that she's looking for confirmation of relationship status and monogamy level, before the panties drop.

Well I agree to a point. My belief is always that a woman who is really interested in a guy will never risk losing him over sex. That's where the disconnect comes in. All of her actions show she is very interested except the most important one.

I'm just going to see what happens I guess. Hoping this isn't one of those chicks that isn't into sex and is perfectly fine with it being once a month or less. Can't deal with that.

 

[jaymbrs]

She should put out next time. If not, I'd start looking elsewhere. She can't keep dropping these little hints that she wants to **** and then not do it. That's that game playing bull**** women do that I don't tolerate.

 

[AJ84]

Well I agree to a point. My belief is always that a woman who is really interested in a guy will never risk losing him over sex. That's where the disconnect comes in. All of her actions show she is very interested except the most important one.

I'm just going to see what happens I guess. Hoping this isn't one of those chicks that isn't into sex and is perfectly fine with it being once a month or less. Can't deal with that.

She certainly seems interested but not yet ready to have sex, but it looks like it’s progressing to that. Not all women jump to sex right away with guys they like, many don’t want to be seen as just an easy lay and treated as such. Of course if what you’re looking for is just an easy lay she doesn’t seem like the type based on her actions.
Not sure where the three dates or you’re out rule applies in most dating situations to be honest, and it’s not a rule women made up so... it’s not something they will necessarily follow.
Maybe set up the next date to do something at her place or yours and go at her pace? She definitely seems responsive, so whatever you are doing is working but pushing it too much may backfire.
If she continues to not put out when you want her to and it really bothers you, then move on.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well I agree to a point. My belief is always that a woman who is really interested in a guy will never risk losing him over sex. That's where the disconnect comes in. All of her actions show she is very interested except the most important one.

I'm just going to see what happens I guess. Hoping this isn't one of those chicks that isn't into sex and is perfectly fine with it being once a month or less. Can't deal with that.

I cant either. Women like that exist too. Trying to get them to change will zap your libido.

 

[BeExcellent]

I agree 100% with @sazc here. She mentions the self defeating loop so many men here subscribe to (sex by the 3rd date or I'm out...versus why can't I find any decent women to date *Um you ditched them cause they didn't put out right away*.)

Another misconception (one this particular girl has already referenced, by the way)...

Women who wait are not prudes or frigid or don't like sex. They more often than not have self restraint and character and don't jump in bed with every Tom, D ick and Harry. This is a good thing. It means if things progress in time to sex that she actually likes you.

And make no mistake. Women WILL drop a man or let him go and risk losing him over sex if he is too pushy. I've done it before plenty. And I've had men act like disbelieving little whiny babies over it too.

Naturally such behavior indicates dropping them was the correct move.

Good women screen out the STR/pump & dump guys this way. Smart women worth dating want to see...do you want to get laid as the primary outcome or do you actually enjoy this particular girl. Pacing the interaction and watching how you ACT is the only way a woman can tell the difference early on. Three dates is still very early on.

But go ahead and drop her if she won't fvck you. Preserve your ego here on SS. And let some other man reap the benefit of an attractive woman who seems encouraging and sweet and actually into you.

Your choice. I'd advise patience. Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Remember that and don't be overly pushy. Relax and let things happen organically.

Men are the gatekeepers of relationships. So you get to take your time, once sex happens, and see if she's good enough for MORE with you.

But this assumption that she's a prude is really silly. She has self respect. Last I checked that's a GOOD thing.

 

[WayTooReal]

UPDATE: Just went on Date 4 tonight...met her for a bite to eat then went and grabbed a drink watching the game. At about the halfway point she asked me if I just wanted to go back to her place to watch the rest of it. I said sure...we go back and she is laying on me and I start stroking her hair and rubbing her shoulders and back and then kissing her neck...things get really hot and heavy then she stops and is like "Nothing is happening tonight". So I'm like "Yeah that's cool, I have to go in a little bit anyway". So the game finishes and she starts playing some music and dancing all sexy with her butt in my face so I start grabbing and smacking it...she pulls me up to dance with her and we are grinding and kissing on each other.

Then I'm like "OK I gotta run, its getting late" and she is like "Are you sure you have to leave? I kind of was hoping you would stay over here tonight..." So I laugh and tease her by saying "Nah, my bed is way more comfortable than this couch!" And she was like "No, I don't want you sleeping on the couch..." So I'm thinking to myself OK I could hammer this chick right now, but I was kind of tired and I don't want hee thinking I'm one of these wishy washy dudes, so I'm like "tempting offer but I need to go".

Immediately she grabs me and says "When can I see you again? How bout you come over Saturday and I'll cook dinner and we can just be naked all day?" I was kind of shocked to hear that come out of her mouth because she has been so low key this whole time but I must have gotten her revved up I guess...so I accepted and Saturday should be one sex filled day. Hopefully she can cook

 

[WayTooReal]

UPDATE 2:

Just got back from her place and we ended up fvcking but something is just off about her. I can't place what it is but its almost like she has no ability to show interest/love physically.

So she makes this pretty awesome meal, we eat, I stop and grab a bottle of wine, and then we start watching a movie afterwards and she ends up changing into her pajamas and falls asleep during the movie.

This is after being almost cold towards me...no affection, no reaction when I tried kissing her neck or playing with her hair, etc. Previously she'd always give me an indication she was enjoying it. I mean she didn't pull away or stop me but she also didn't act like she liked it either. So its hetting late and the movie is almost over and she wakes up and asks me to fill her in on what happened. So I'm kind of giving her a brief rundown and in my mind I'm like F this...So I decide I'm just going to do what I do and if she gives me a hard time or anything negative I'm just going to coolly tell her she seems tired and I'll let her get some rest and then be done with it.

So I start running my hand up and down her arm then her back and shoulders and start playing with her hair. Still nothing.

We are laying in a spoon position on the couch and I have one arm under and the other over her. So I just am like fvck it, I start massaging her boobs outside her PJ's. No reaction. I then start slowly running them inside her PJ's and she still has her bra on...I slip my fingers inside the bra and start massaging her boobs and playing with her nipple. Still nothing. So then I am like OK fine. I grab her hand and pull it back and put it right on my c0ck which is already hard and which I'm pretty sure she felt poking her for the last 10 minutes cause I was pressing it into her. I expected her to just pull her hand away but to my surprise she starts rubbing it and squeezing it. So I pull my pants down a little and put her hand inside and she starts stroking it. Then I hear her start moaning a little bit and I start whipering all kinds of **** in her ear.

She actually reaches down and takes her pants off and I reach down her panties and she is soaked. I start fingering her and after we do this for about 5 minutes, she asks me what else I had in mind and I told her I was going to bend her over the couch and fvck the sh!t out of her. She went and grabbed a condom and I bent her over and pounded her senseless for about 30 minutes at which point I pull out to switch positions and the condom isnt on anymore. I look around and don't see it...I tell her about it and apparently she has an O ring and it got stuck on it...she fished it out and was kind of grossed out by it.

Then she started acting really weird. Most chicks are all cuddly afterwards...nope...this chick was like I need to go to bed in a little bit and basically got up and sat on the other couch. I felt like it was some type of business transaction and like that it only happened cause I just happened to be there and get her turned on enough to make her want it but not because she actually wanted me. She did say the sex was awesome and I wore her out but it was just weird...I mean she started getting into it and was really fvcking me hard when I told her to fvck me...and she seemed to like me be rough, pulling her hair, smacking her ass and talking sh!t to her but it got weird right after....like weird to the point that I even joked about how sh!t was going to be weird now. She denied it but she is not fooling anyone. Its like I'm the dude she is seeing because she has nothing better to do right now or no other prospects.

I just don't know what to do with her. She does stuff that would normally be good indicators like make dinner for me, always seeking my approval, apologizing for things constantly, etc...but I just get the vibe she just isnt into me that much. I'm just tired of even thinking about it.

On a positive note I ended up hanging out with another girl last night that i went on a first date with last week who was super interested, ended up meeting her and some friends out(I became free at the last minute and she already had plans but was eager to include me)...she was all over me, went back to her friends house and hung put for several hours drinking and talking and laughing and then I got up to leave and she comes to walk me out and we start going at it heavy. After about 10 minutes of this and me grabbing her hair, grabbing and squeezing her ass cheek down her jeans and her grabbing my c0ck she just says "I need you to fvck me right now" and pulls me in her friends bedroom(apparently its the room she stays in when she crashes there?) And we fvck hard for aboit 20 minutes while they are downstairs. I know they had to hear it because I was pounding her into the bed and it was making a lot of noise(as was she, telling me to fvck her harder). So I go to leave and run into her friends boyfriend who is coming up the basement stairs...so embarrassing. We are hanging out again in a few days and I really vibe great with her. I could see tgis going somewhere. And she told me she thinks I am hot multiple times.

Also have a few other women I've got dates with coming up next week who are showing very high IL(one who has repeatedly told me how handsome she thinks I am).

So things are going well on this front, and I think this chick from tonight is just going to have to go...I can't deal with this weird sh!t...never had anything like that happen to me...I mean the chick from last night was literally almost crying when I was leaving because she thought she would never hear from me again after I banged her.

Anyways, feel free to chime in on this chick from tonight. Yeah I banged her but so what...I feel kind of dirty about the whole thing...like it only happened because i just happened to be there not because she was interested in it actually happening. Just so so weird...

 

[devilkingx2]

She also made it a point to tell me several times that she was raised "proper" but is not a prude by any means. No idea WTF I am supposed to take away from that.

here's what that means, in a quote:

So you've invented a new product that does exactly what it's intended to do, but it has only one teeny tiny infinitesimal flaw: it doesn't do the one thing everyone expects it will. Or it can't be used in the one way everyone will assume it's meant to be used. So what do you do? You turn that frown upside down and spin that flaw into an asset!

Those thin, brittle serrated knives that can't be sharpened suddenly "never need sharpening". Those silicone oven mitts that fall apart in the washing machine "clean up with plain water - no detergent needed!" And so on. [...]

TL;DR: it's the dating version of a particular marketing gimmick

 

[devilkingx2]

What's going on is that she's not a slut. You guys run around these boards, bashing women for riding the c0ck carosel, then complaining that if your aren't getting any FROM THE SAME WOMEN by the second date your going to drop them, THEN complain about the decent women who are absolutely interested, but aren't slvts.

She mentions the self defeating loop so many men here subscribe to (sex by the 3rd date or I'm out...versus why can't I find any decent women to date *Um you ditched them cause they didn't put out right away*.)

do you ladies believe that sosuave is a hivemind or just one guy with a bunch of sock accounts or....?

there's guys on here who think sex means little, there's guys on here who think sex is everything, there's guys on here who think a girl who fvcks them is a slvt. there's guys on here who think a girl who doesn't fvck them is a wannabe nun

but like, most of the time these aren't the same guys. or they're guys with a reasonable middle ground like "sucking me off in the bathroom of a club is a little too hoe-ish, but I don't wanna wait til I'm engaged either"

idiots who think that a girl has to fvck them precisely on date 3 (any earlier she's a slvt, any later she's a game playing prude) are very rare.

Not sure where the three dates or you’re out rule applies in most dating situations to be honest, and it’s not a rule women made up so... it’s not something they will necessarily follow.

it's like how there's a three episode test for anime (japanese cartoons). it doesn't mean that any anime that is good will be good by episode 3, or that it cannot get bad in episode 4 from a good start, neither of those scenarios are uncommon.

it means that on average, you'll figure out if you'll like most shows by episode 3, and anything that takes longer is an exception or a minority, rather than the rule. you're taking a few acceptable losses to save time and energy because it's better than watching 2 dozen shows every 3 months and only liking half of them.

in the same vein, the idea behind the 3 date rule is that it is thought, most of the time waiting longer than that isn't worth the investment for the guy in question and it's almost guaranteed that he would have a better time trying to get another girl instead. like how they say you shouldn't try to chase an uninterested girl and change her mind, but rather you should find one who likes you in the first place to avoid the sunk cost fallacy.

obviously there are girls who would be fantastic if you only waited on their leisure for sex, but the idea is that it's supposed to be far more likely that waiting longer than 3 dates would bear no useful fruit, if not then the rule needs to be updated to the 5-6 date rule or whatever.

But go ahead and drop her if she won't fvck you. Preserve your ego here on SS. And let some other man reap the benefit of an attractive woman who seems encouraging and sweet and actually into you.

[...]

But this assumption that she's a prude is really silly. She has self respect. Last I checked that's a GOOD thing.

I like how you don't seem to realize that taking pride in being an unconquered fortress is the exact same thing as a guy taking pride in uniting the world under his glorious banner.

women: Morior Invictus
men: Veni, Vidi, Vici

it's the same thing, it's cognitive dissonance to claim otherwise.

 

[devilkingx2]

UPDATE 2:

Just got back from her place and we ended up fvcking but something is just off about her. I can't place what it is but its almost like she has no ability to show interest/love physically.

So she makes this pretty awesome meal, we eat, I stop and grab a bottle of wine, and then we start watching a movie afterwards and she ends up changing into her pajamas and falls asleep during the movie.

This is after being almost cold towards me...no affection, no reaction when I tried kissing her neck or playing with her hair, etc. Previously she'd always give me an indication she was enjoying it. I mean she didn't pull away or stop me but she also didn't act like she liked it either. So its hetting late and the movie is almost over and she wakes up and asks me to fill her in on what happened. So I'm kind of giving her a brief rundown and in my mind I'm like F this...So I decide I'm just going to do what I do and if she gives me a hard time or anything negative I'm just going to coolly tell her she seems tired and I'll let her get some rest and then be done with it.

So I start running my hand up and down her arm then her back and shoulders and start playing with her hair. Still nothing.

We are laying in a spoon position on the couch and I have one arm under and the other over her. So I just am like fvck it, I start massaging her boobs outside her PJ's. No reaction. I then start slowly running them inside her PJ's and she still has her bra on...I slip my fingers inside the bra and start massaging her boobs and playing with her nipple. Still nothing. So then I am like OK fine. I grab her hand and pull it back and put it right on my c0ck which is already hard and which I'm pretty sure she felt poking her for the last 10 minutes cause I was pressing it into her. I expected her to just pull her hand away but to my surprise she starts rubbing it and squeezing it. So I pull my pants down a little and put her hand inside and she starts stroking it. Then I hear her start moaning a little bit and I start whipering all kinds of **** in her ear.

She actually reaches down and takes her pants off and I reach down her panties and she is soaked. I start fingering her and after we do this for about 5 minutes, she asks me what else I had in mind and I told her I was going to bend her over the couch and fvck the sh!t out of her. She went and grabbed a condom and I bent her over and pounded her senseless for about 30 minutes at which point I pull out to switch positions and the condom isnt on anymore. I look around and don't see it...I tell her about it and apparently she has an O ring and it got stuck on it...she fished it out and was kind of grossed out by it.

Then she started acting really weird. Most chicks are all cuddly afterwards...nope...this chick was like I need to go to bed in a little bit and basically got up and sat on the other couch. I felt like it was some type of business transaction and like that it only happened cause I just happened to be there and get her turned on enough to make her want it but not because she actually wanted me. She did say the sex was awesome and I wore her out but it was just weird...I mean she started getting into it and was really fvcking me hard when I told her to fvck me...and she seemed to like me be rough, pulling her hair, smacking her ass and talking sh!t to her but it got weird right after....like weird to the point that I even joked about how sh!t was going to be weird now. She denied it but she is not fooling anyone. Its like I'm the dude she is seeing because she has nothing better to do right now or no other prospects.

I just don't know what to do with her. She does stuff that would normally be good indicators like make dinner for me, always seeking my approval, apologizing for things constantly, etc...but I just get the vibe she just isnt into me that much. I'm just tired of even thinking about it.

[...]

So things are going well on this front, and I think this chick from tonight is just going to have to go...I can't deal with this weird sh!t...never had anything like that happen to me...I mean the chick from last night was literally almost crying when I was leaving because she thought she would never hear from me again after I banged her.

Anyways, feel free to chime in on this chick from tonight. Yeah I banged her but so what...I feel kind of dirty about the whole thing...like it only happened because i just happened to be there not because she was interested in it actually happening. Just so so weird...

give her a few more dates, it sounds like she was just off that night, one bad night shouldn't sour you since she was completely different than in your previous post.

also the good news is that your problem is DEFINITELY NOT that she isn't into you. the bad news is... tentative. date her a couple more times before we can truly diagnose it.

also man to man, being worried that a girl who just had sex with you isn't into you is kinda insecure bro, just looking out for you. nip that in the bud and curb it.