30% of divorced women say they had serious doubts before the marriage

[MatureDJ]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jennifer-gauvain/doubts-before-marriage_b_919868.html

My take - how come just 2 generations ago, virtually everybody that got married stayed married? Did those brides have such doubts too? Why didn't they get divorced? The bottom line is that the blame for the destruction of the family is squarely on the feminist movement, which has allowed the evolutionary positive trait of fickleness and flakiness in a maiden into the destructive force that it has become in marriage - something that societal shame and the inability of single mothers to provision for the children had been able to control.

 

[Robert28]

i could give less then a d@mn about what 30% of women said, think, or did. theyre all stupid in my eyes and have NO respect from me whatsoever. as a matter of fact, i want my fvcking rib back you stupid wh0res!!!!

 

[davewe]

i want my fvcking rib back!

Classic!

 

[sodbuster]

They are in love with the IDEA of marriage,so they will compromise their standards of what they THINK they deserve to get it done. Once in marriage.... it's no longer a goal.

 

[K2000kidd]

I often wonder if some women just long for the Ceremony. The one day that she gets to play the beautiful bride, all eyes are on her, showered with gifts and attention must be like crack.

 

[squirrels]

I often wonder if some women just long for the Ceremony. The one day that she gets to play the beautiful bride, all eyes are on her, showered with gifts and attention must be like crack.

After she sees a couple of her friends get that kind of attention, the jealousy is out of control. She wants to be part of the marriage phenomenon.

Maybe feminism is responsible. But in reality, except for the extremist bunches, feminism is just about women's rights and choices. Women stayed married in the past because getting divorced made them a social pariah among their peers, i.e. "she can't even keep her marriage together...what's wrong with her??"

You think about the 1950s and all those TV shows with the happily married couples, where the wife is always home cooking and cleaning and pleasing the husband when he comes home. You forget about all the ones where the wife is constantly nagging the husband or coming after him with a rolling pin when he screws up. That stuff happened. There are plenty of couples out in the 1950s that probably WOULD have been divorced if the social stigma hadn't existed in those times.

You also think that the front your parents, your aunts and uncles, etc put up when you were young were representative of the way they really acted when the children WEREN'T looking. I know several of those couples, even in my own family, who had "issues" that didn't even occur to me in my youth. Spousal abuse/neglect, cheating, dissatisfaction, etc...they were all there. They just create the illusion for you that "every couple was happy" because as a kid they don't want you drawn into the grief.

Marriage was something that people in our grandparents' day treated as "holy" and "before God". If you were going to break that bond, it was almost sacrilegious. Nowadays, there is no religion.

 

[davewe]

After she sees a couple of her friends get that kind of attention, the jealousy is out of control. She wants to be part of the marriage phenomenon.

Maybe feminism is responsible. But in reality, except for the extremist bunches, feminism is just about women's rights and choices. Women stayed married in the past because getting divorced made them a social pariah among their peers, i.e. "she can't even keep her marriage together...what's wrong with her??"

You think about the 1950s and all those TV shows with the happily married couples, where the wife is always home cooking and cleaning and pleasing the husband when he comes home. You forget about all the ones where the wife is constantly nagging the husband or coming after him with a rolling pin when he screws up. That stuff happened. There are plenty of couples out in the 1950s that probably WOULD have been divorced if the social stigma hadn't existed in those times.

You also think that the front your parents, your aunts and uncles, etc put up when you were young were representative of the way they really acted when the children WEREN'T looking. I know several of those couples, even in my own family, who had "issues" that didn't even occur to me in my youth. Spousal abuse/neglect, cheating, dissatisfaction, etc...they were all there. They just create the illusion for you that "every couple was happy" because as a kid they don't want you drawn into the grief.

Marriage was something that people in our grandparents' day treated as "holy" and "before God". If you were going to break that bond, it was almost sacrilegious. Nowadays, there is no religion.

Since I grew up in that era I'll comment. In my huge suburban neighborhood of nearly 1000 split-level homes, populated almost exclusively by Jews, there was 1 divorce during the time when I grew up. One! Hell, one friend's father was killed whenstruck by lightning, so there were as many divorces as lightning strikes. It simply wasn't done.

BTW, while I am sure there were many uphappy couples behind closed doors back then, I am equally sure there were far more happy couples than there are today. Many men and women enjoyed their roles or at the very least accepted that that was the way life was supposed to be.

There are no doubt many factors to account for the current divorce rate and the issue is far more complex than we make it out here on this forum. Bottom line, marriage isn't valued and when something isn't valued, it gets dumped, particularly during hard times.

 

[DJDamage]

I often wonder if some women just long for the Ceremony. The one day that she gets to play the beautiful bride, all eyes are on her, showered with gifts and attention must be like crack.

That's pretty much it. That is why the desire to have babies is also tied to getting back lost attention a woman has been losing since her big day of marriage.

Getting Married - attention

Now she is pregnant - attention,

Now she looks pregnant and everyone are counting the days until - attention

Now she is having a baby shower - attention

Now she has a baby - attention

Now she can go with the baby everywhere - attention

Now her child is growing up - attention

Now her child is a teenager - attention gone again.

 

[MatureDJ]

That's pretty much it. That is why the desire to have babies is also tied to getting back lost attention a woman has been losing since her big day of marriage.

Getting Married - attention

Now she is pregnant - attention,

Now she looks pregnant and everyone are counting the days until - attention

Now she is having a baby shower - attention

Now she has a baby - attention

Now she can go with the baby everywhere - attention

Now her child is growing up - attention

Now her child is a teenager - attention gone again.

Deep throating hubby - super attention! :yes:

 

[zekko]

Ha! Right on! Why fear divorce, right? Just go from one ceremony to another every 5 years or so.

Why should women fear divorce? It's just extra income to them.

 

[Warrior74]

Let us be rational. Any life altering decision comes with doubts. Every man I know who has gotten married had doubts and every woman I know. This article is full of keyword triggers that make divorce women feel good about their decisions and bitter men feel bad. Be more rational.

 

[DMSR76]

Bottom line, marriage isn't valued and when something isn't valued, it gets dumped, particularly during hard times.

Great comment.

 

[Paintballguy]

I've had a women tell me that she got married mainly because everyone else was.

 

[Robert28]

I've had a women tell me that she got married mainly because everyone else was.

you'd be surprised how many use that as their reason(albeit secretly). like i said earlier, todays women are stupid, no education, no common sense, no family values, no self respect, no goals or aspirations, they bring nothing to a relationship other then what's between their legs and even THAT ain't much.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

After she sees a couple of her friends get that kind of attention, the jealousy is out of control. She wants to be part of the marriage phenomenon.

Maybe feminism is responsible. But in reality, except for the extremist bunches, feminism is just about women's rights and choices. Women stayed married in the past because getting divorced made them a social pariah among their peers, i.e. "she can't even keep her marriage together...what's wrong with her??"

You think about the 1950s and all those TV shows with the happily married couples, where the wife is always home cooking and cleaning and pleasing the husband when he comes home. You forget about all the ones where the wife is constantly nagging the husband or coming after him with a rolling pin when he screws up. That stuff happened. There are plenty of couples out in the 1950s that probably WOULD have been divorced if the social stigma hadn't existed in those times.

You also think that the front your parents, your aunts and uncles, etc put up when you were young were representative of the way they really acted when the children WEREN'T looking. I know several of those couples, even in my own family, who had "issues" that didn't even occur to me in my youth. Spousal abuse/neglect, cheating, dissatisfaction, etc...they were all there. They just create the illusion for you that "every couple was happy" because as a kid they don't want you drawn into the grief.

Marriage was something that people in our grandparents' day treated as "holy" and "before God". If you were going to break that bond, it was almost sacrilegious. Nowadays, there is no religion.

I think this is pretty spot on...lots of couples definitely build a facade in front of others including their children.

I also definitely agree about women wanting marriage out of attention -- I was recently at one, and the bride (IMHO a bi.tch) was screaming at people to "come and watch her dance" as they were all outside smoking and drinking bored of the reception....she wanted all eyes on her, that's for d.amn sure.

 

[LeftyLoosey]

That's pretty much it. That is why the desire to have babies is also tied to getting back lost attention a woman has been losing since her big day of marriage.

Getting Married - attention

Now she is pregnant - attention,

Now she looks pregnant and everyone are counting the days until - attention

Now she is having a baby shower - attention

Now she has a baby - attention

Now she can go with the baby everywhere - attention

Now her child is growing up - attention

Now her child is a teenager - attention gone again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTkp9UqVVHs

 

[Burroughs]

But in reality, except for the extremist bunches, feminism is just about women's rights and choices. Women stayed married in the past because getting divorced made them a social pariah among their peers, i.e. "she can't even keep her marriage together...what's wrong with her??"

The main reason women stayed married is because if they left the husband they would literally BE HOMELESS AND STARVE TO DEATH. For most of American history women were property...problem solved.

Once you give women rights and choices without balancing them with the rights of men you have IMBALANCE.. example: you want alimony then the women must make pvssy payments to the ex-husband as well (thought care of chris rock)

 

[Paintballguy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTkp9UqVVHs

that is scary

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DJ,
Sadly it not so much Marriage many of these deluded wenches want,but THE Marriage.

 

[konmai]

I'm never getting married. If I ever consider it, I want all of SS to descend and beat the crap out of me.