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3-4 dates tommorow. How do I tell them i ain't paying?

FwoGiZ

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Here's a different opinion from what I've been reading... I been thru your situation because where I am from, women are way more independent so the expectations for you to pay them a drink is on its way out and you can tell. And I think that's a good thing cause to say that because you invite her for a date, you need to spit $ is utterly ridiculous. But hey, most of them are indeed wh0res and all think they have a golden vag that deserve to be showered in free drinks and free food. And once again, at least where I moved, I would say half the women go on dates BECAUSE of free drinks/food which is fueled by betas, making my life harder and more expensive.

So here's the thing tho...
there is utopia which is no need to spend a dime, cause after all, they did want equality no?
then there is societal programming which is your mom telling you that if you invite a chick on a date, you gotta pay,
then there is red pill reality, where you acknowledge a changing culture that you need to go along with.

What does the later mean? It simply mean that if you are spitting 20+ $ on a first date, you are contributing to the overall increase cost of dating and should be slapped some sense thru your head. Stop believing your mom and no, chicks don't get wet from free drinks n food.
If you go on a date and refuse to spend a dime, you are going a bit too fast and will inevitably burn several of your chances, for no good reasons.

What you want to do, is not say anything, and see what happens. THEN you go from there. Here's couple situations;

1. Girl starts ordering expensive drinks, and appetizers and other things she would obviously never order if she knew she had to pay for... let's be realistic here... is she worth it? Not really.
Here's one of my real life story; First date, I take her to restaurant (which I NEVER do anymore... I only do pubs/bars now) but she orders a steak, waitress ask her is she wants extra fried mushrooms. My date ask waitress how much it is to which she replies 5$. My date says ok I'll take it. At that point, in my head, there is no fvcking way I am paying for this bill. I had the waitress split the bill and also obviously had to explain my date that this is something French (I speak French) and Dutch people have in common, we go dutch on dates.
She admitted she thought it was rude, but reality is I banged this chick (HB7) for 2 months before I slowly phased her out of my fb list.
Bottom line, go dutch if chicks is being golddigger/profiteer. It might only increase your SMV at best, save you a lot of time at worst.

2. The girl is obviously being considerate, ask the waitress for specials, and pick something cheap. She waits for you to get another drink before getting another one too. This is also probably the kinda girl that will offer to pay half the bill. We could argue she knows damn well the guy will pay but at that point, it doesn't matter cause you could say ok and then she'd have to pay and couldn't say anything. My golden rule is if she's costing me less than 20$, I will pay. Why? Cause she might very well be worth the investment and I am not trying to revolutionize cultures here, but slowly moving along with it. The other thing I do, is I don't stick around long enough for her to be able to spend more than that. I usually go for 2hrs top, at around 8PM on a week day.

So I think it's totally legitimate to not want to pay for first dates but you might find yourself repulsing too many good girls because of that. Keep it cheap. 2nd date go on a hike or walk or if she hints at it, your or her place, obviously. Seal the deal.

I NEVER spend big amount of $ on women cause they simply are bottomless pit of ungratefulness and I proved to myself that I don't even need to anyways. It actually keeps those real wh0res away, those that will readily have sex with you in exchange of expensive date, you know, those chick that sex isn't even really good anyways but they're usually great looking? Ya... they're like that because of those betas spending huge amount of money, thinking it makes them wet.

Tom Leykis used to always say this; women love money... but they just need to see it! You don't have to spend it on em
And he is damn right.
 

Kultam

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Here's a different opinion from what I've been reading... I been thru your situation because where I am from, women are way more independent so the expectations for you to pay them a drink is on its way out and you can tell. And I think that's a good thing cause to say that because you invite her for a date, you need to spit $ is utterly ridiculous. But hey, most of them are indeed wh0res and all think they have a golden vag that deserve to be showered in free drinks and free food. And once again, at least where I moved, I would say half the women go on dates BECAUSE of free drinks/food which is fueled by betas, making my life harder and more expensive.

So here's the thing tho...
there is utopia which is no need to spend a dime, cause after all, they did want equality no?
then there is societal programming which is your mom telling you that if you invite a chick on a date, you gotta pay,
then there is red pill reality, where you acknowledge a changing culture that you need to go along with.

What does the later mean? It simply mean that if you are spitting 20+ $ on a first date, you are contributing to the overall increase cost of dating and should be slapped some sense thru your head. Stop believing your mom and no, chicks don't get wet from free drinks n food.
If you go on a date and refuse to spend a dime, you are going a bit too fast and will inevitably burn several of your chances, for no good reasons.

What you want to do, is not say anything, and see what happens. THEN you go from there. Here's couple situations;

1. Girl starts ordering expensive drinks, and appetizers and other things she would obviously never order if she knew she had to pay for... let's be realistic here... is she worth it? Not really.
Here's one of my real life story; First date, I take her to restaurant (which I NEVER do anymore... I only do pubs/bars now) but she orders a steak, waitress ask her is she wants extra fried mushrooms. My date ask waitress how much it is to which she replies 5$. My date says ok I'll take it. At that point, in my head, there is no fvcking way I am paying for this bill. I had the waitress split the bill and also obviously had to explain my date that this is something French (I speak French) and Dutch people have in common, we go dutch on dates.
She admitted she thought it was rude, but reality is I banged this chick (HB7) for 2 months before I slowly phased her out of my fb list.
Bottom line, go dutch if chicks is being golddigger/profiteer. It might only increase your SMV at best, save you a lot of time at worst.

2. The girl is obviously being considerate, ask the waitress for specials, and pick something cheap. She waits for you to get another drink before getting another one too. This is also probably the kinda girl that will offer to pay half the bill. We could argue she knows damn well the guy will pay but at that point, it doesn't matter cause you could say ok and then she'd have to pay and couldn't say anything. My golden rule is if she's costing me less than 20$, I will pay. Why? Cause she might very well be worth the investment and I am not trying to revolutionize cultures here, but slowly moving along with it. The other thing I do, is I don't stick around long enough for her to be able to spend more than that. I usually go for 2hrs top, at around 8PM on a week day.

So I think it's totally legitimate to not want to pay for first dates but you might find yourself repulsing too many good girls because of that. Keep it cheap. 2nd date go on a hike or walk or if she hints at it, your or her place, obviously. Seal the deal.

I NEVER spend big amount of $ on women cause they simply are bottomless pit of ungratefulness and I proved to myself that I don't even need to anyways. It actually keeps those real wh0res away, those that will readily have sex with you in exchange of expensive date, you know, those chick that sex isn't even really good anyways but they're usually great looking? Ya... they're like that because of those betas spending huge amount of money, thinking it makes them wet.

Tom Leykis used to always say this; women love money... but they just need to see it! You don't have to spend it on em
And he is damn right.
i agree completely. The important thing here is that most girls will see you as a gentelman if you pay her for a drinks, she calculates your overall score and it adds a lot to the table so if you want to bang then thats good idea. But In my case I was asking in case of low price drinks like 5USD. I will pay from now on the cheap ones.

However I would never pay 20USD for her drink or would never take a random date to restaurant. I would just pay for myself and leave if she wanted me to pay for her expensive stuff.
 

corrector

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Err. I upped my net game and got 3-4 dates tommorow (i dont even remember) and i plan to give 1hr for each for a walk but i would like to go in some pub for beer for a moment however i cant pay for them and I dont even want to.

What you think? Is it okay "we can go inside but im not paying for you" to say it? Because of what men in society do, they will probably think im gonna buy them all drinks haha.
Just say "oh no, I forgot my wallet at home, can you spot me for today?"
 

ubercat

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Yeah it's a bit odd worrying about 20 bucks. I wouldn't bother getting them dinner. I've never had much luck with that as a date and I've been dating a long time and have had most different kinds of luck there is. Walk in the park and buy them an ice cream is probably about as cheap as you can go.
 
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i agree completely. The important thing here is that most girls will see you as a gentelman if you pay her for a drinks, she calculates your overall score and it adds a lot to the table so if you want to bang then thats good idea. But In my case I was asking in case of low price drinks like 5USD. I will pay from now on the cheap ones.

However I would never pay 20USD for her drink or would never take a random date to restaurant. I would just pay for myself and leave if she wanted me to pay for her expensive stuff.
$5 is an expensive drink. Why do they need a drink from you?

I might pay for SEX every now and then, but I see no need to play little games at the bar of who is buying what.
 

Charmaine

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I have no problem offering to pay my share and have done so before. It's not really about money, but guys who are not willing to even pay for a drink for a woman at the first date tells me a lot about their mentality.

There was once a guy who told me upfront at the first meetup that he wanted us to each pay for our own drink (nonalcoholic) and explained that he had to save money. Not surprisingly, he never got to see me again.
 

Kultam

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I have no problem offering to pay my share and have done so before. It's not really about money, but guys who are not willing to even pay for a drink for a woman at the first date tells me a lot about their mentality.

There was once a guy who told me upfront at the first meetup that he wanted us to each pay for our own drink (nonalcoholic) and explained that he had to save money. Not surprisingly, he never got to see me again.
Yeah. Hard case of AWALT.
 
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I have no problem offering to pay my share and have done so before. It's not really about money, but guys who are not willing to even pay for a drink for a woman at the first date tells me a lot about their mentality.

There was once a guy who told me upfront at the first meetup that he wanted us to each pay for our own drink (nonalcoholic) and explained that he had to save money. Not surprisingly, he never got to see me again.
What's it about then? If it's not about the money? What does it tell you if they are not willing to pay for a drink on the first date?

Unless you're really struggling (which a lot of people are), the price of a drink is negligible to your finances. So what is the whole point of this exchange?
 

Charmaine

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What's it about then? If it's not about the money? What does it tell you if they are not willing to pay for a drink on the first date?
No offense, but it would give me the impression that they are stingy and would most likely care more about money than they care about you.

Unless you're really struggling (which a lot of people are), the price of a drink is negligible to your finances.
That is exactly my point. The price of a drink should be negligible to the guy's finances. A guy who is really interested in the woman wouldn't mind paying for something so negligible.
 

J Roc

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Err. I upped my net game and got 3-4 dates tommorow (i dont even remember) and i plan to give 1hr for each for a walk but i would like to go in some pub for beer for a moment however i cant pay for them and I dont even want to.

What you think? Is it okay "we can go inside but im not paying for you" to say it? Because of what men in society do, they will probably think im gonna buy them all drinks haha.
Just bring some liquor in a flask and take swigs while you walk. Problem solved!
 

devilkingx2

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No offense, but it would give me the impression that they are stingy and would most likely care more about money than they care about you.

That is exactly my point. The price of a drink should be negligible to the guy's finances. A guy who is really interested in the woman wouldn't mind paying for something so negligible.
It's about being entitled to free drinks you don't want to pay for.
 

Charmaine

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It's about being entitled to free drinks you don't want to pay for.
I can understand why some men would project like that if "free" drinks that cost just a couple of dollars are such a big deal to them.

It is the 21st century and women are fully capable of paying for themselves. If anyone think women would simply go out with them just for the sake of getting something "free", think again. I have even bought ties and cashmere scarf from Hermes for my man. :rolleyes:
 

wolf

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Take her for a walk by the river and take some bread to feed the ducks.

Cost of date = next to nothing

Has always worked for me and I've still got laid... stop over thinking it
 

MrAddiction

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I have even bought ties and cashmere scarf from Hermes for my man
Oh you are such a Great Girl. And for sure you might have put out before he invested anything in to you?!
If anyone think women would simply go out with them just for the sake of getting something "free", think again
Hmm, thought again ..... And yeah right .... Wait.... No sorry... Still the same conclusion....

How was that saying of POOK???

......

Never listen to female advice.
 
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2Rocky

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Learn to play Boss Dice, aka Bar Dice. Basically roll 5 dice for Highest poker hand. Tell her at the outset that "We are rolling for drinks" If you lose, you pay simple as that. A old time bar will have dice cups behind the bar. Now some freakin' wine bar or martini bar might not, so get to know your venues.

The ACT of playing Dice is when you will see if this is someone you want to see again in how she plays. if you lose you pay, but it gave you a glimpse of her competitive nature, and sense of humor or lack of. If she loses and pays for the drinks, reward her with dinner at your place. And breakfast if it goes well.
 
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