26 years old, need some encouragement

[easun]

26 years old, I'm a very intelligent, great looking guy, dress impeccably, love working out and have a great body, most girls who see me are attracted to me physically (I know), I'm very picky, made over $700k net with my own business in my early 20s, just got accepted to a prestigious med school. Anyway, I'm smart, good looking and ambitious. I know I'm a catch.

Problem is... I'm introverted. And this makes all the difference in the world. Because, while I may be smarter, more creative, better looking, more physically fit and richer than most guys my age, I just can't seem to get this girl problem fixed. I've spent most of my early 20s building this business that made me a good fortune, but this hasn't helped, because the skills that made this business succeed are largely intelligent analytical skills. That can make you rich, but it hasn't helped me (yet) with girls.

I went out tonight... to a dance at a college. And as usual, I couldn't stand being there any longer than 15-20 minutes and just left. I went home tonight again disappointed... asking myself why I didn't stay longer. While I want more than anything in the world to be in a good relationship with a great girl, I just can't seem to get myself to take the steps necessary to get there. It is killing me inside. My strengths are also my greatest weaknesses.

I need help. Part of the problem is I'm afraid if I get to know somebody too much, they will realize I haven't spent most of my life socializing. They'll figure out my secret that I'm "not one of them." So I normally cut off interactions short to avoid this. I don't have many good stories to tell or have that many friends I speak with on a regular basis.

So I guess the question is, how do I force myself to go out? And what am I supposed to talk about when I do? I don't have much common ground with anybody my age. I need to fix this because things aren't looking favorable anymore.

 

[1337]

don't worry about it too much I'm also an introvert and I understand introverts get most of their energy or feel more comfortable alone. The best solution i can give you is go partying with your close friends people you can be yourself around this will help you stay longer at parties.

"Part of the problem is I'm afraid if I get to know somebody too much, they will realize I haven't spent most of my life socializing. They'll figure out my secret that I'm "not one of them." So I normally cut off interactions short to avoid this. I don't have many good stories to tell or have that many friends I speak with on a regular basis."

Thats all BullSh%4 noone will ever think that and that will never be the reality. Like I said get some close friends and go partying you don't have to have stories to tell just be your chill self and you should be good. Introverts project a lot of mystery and most girls dig that.

 

[DJDanny]

Well there is a difference between being intoverted and suffering from social anxiety. My suggestion? Fvck(forget about) girls for now, focus on building a social network and getting out of your comfort zone in a more "safe" environment. You're going to school right? Right there is a excellent oppourtunity to expand yourself socially, lots of people will be looking to make new friends.

As 1337 says, being the strong silent type can actually be quite intriging for the girls, of course that assumes you're part of a reasonable social circle and have some social proof, if you're a loner then it just comes off as creepy. Being introverted doesn't mean you have to sit on your computer all day every day jerking it to your latest fetish. You can be introverted and still have a reasonable social life.

If you claim being intelligent and analytical are your big assets then use them, next time you're out, analyze what the other guys who you strive to be more like are doing then slowly try to integrate those into your game. Chances are you're not going to go from loner to top cheese of a big social group, the improvements will be slower but they will happen. I think you might benefit from another site I've been to in the past.

http://www.succeedsocially.com/

Other guys don't care about your past, they care about what you bring to the table right now. They don't have to worry about getting herpes from you because of a drunken mistake you made a few years ago. I think a big mistake you're making, is that you're expecting to make friends and be BFF, I'm guilty of the same thing from time to time, the reality is friends will pass in and out of your life, it's not a big deal it just means you don't share the same interests anymore. As you bring more to the table people are going to start becoming more interested in befriending you.

The end goal might be to start landing women, but you need to improve yourself if you want real success. That's what seperates this site from the PUA community, the end goal might be the same, but this site will make you alot stronger as a man and attract ladies this way instead of just using tricks that'll work to get you laid in the short term.

*edit* one more thing to add, if you do have a date in the next little while, go into it not with the goal of getting laid, but the goal of having fun regardless of the end result. Women will feed of that positive energy and the lack of attachment you have to outcome and you'll probably do better then you'd expect.

 

[Voice]

*edit* one more thing to add, if you do have a date in the next little while, go into it not with the goal of getting laid, but the goal of having fun regardless of the end result. Women will feed of that positive energy and the lack of attachment you have to outcome and you'll probably do better then you'd expect.

This is the best advice.

I'm can be pretty introverted at times and some see me as shy. However, I've gotten much better over the past few years. This may seem too simple but I always have the best success when I'm basically trying to get to know the girl in front of me. That's it. Get to know the girl, that's my goal. As comfort builds, and if there is a connection and I really like this girl THEN I try to take it a step further. Basically, you're trying to find out if this girl is good enough for you. Your state of mind should be that YOU are the selector.

Guys like you and me probably aren't going to be super extroverted (excluding those drunk nights) anytime soon. However that doesn't mean we can't have success with girls. And by success, I don't mean being a mega pimp with 8 FBs. How about finding a girl that you vibe with and truly fits who you are? To me, that's success. It's all about finding about what YOU want.

Good luck man, I know shyness and anxiety isn't easy to live with. There are days when I can be a paranoid wreck for no reason. It's all how you bounce back and handle your state of mind.

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

1. Make friends with a dude who is successful with women, or at the very least go out and spend your free time observing guys who are socially well adjusted. Observe their body language. Then work yourself in front of a mirror and pick out some postures and routines that work best for you.

2. I've been guilty of this lately - but its true - DRESS FOR SUCCESS.

NEVER leave the house without looking your best. This doesn't mean a suit and tie all the time, but pick out your most flattering clothes for the occasion. Also, have your apartment and car spotless, and put an edge to both. For instance, buy an 8' 6 color lava lamp and put it in the corner of your living room, for a conversation piece.

3. Just start saying "hi" to strangers. Don't worry if they don't say "hi" back. Just keep doing it. Then make eye contact as often as possible. Try to establish dominance with your eyes. Not in a creepy way, but naturally.

4. I think the biggest mistake younger guys make is relying too heavily on the club scene. It's a waste. My best pickups: Lenscrafters, roller skating, grocery store, apartment pools. Women notice you in any social setting, and size you up in seconds. Psychology tells us they have their mind made up before you even approach, so just go approach.

5. Pick up on women's hints. When they are interested they show it through all kinds of nonverbal clues.

6. Take risks in life. You will fail. Get used to it, and don't fear it.

 

[The_Reaper]

The solution is to get OUT of your head - to focus on just being in the moment. Do not allow your mind to screw you up, just flow in the moment.

 

[Slashco]

I may be smarter, more creative, better looking, more physically fit and richer than most guys my age

This is just a shot in the dark, but if that's the kind of attitude you are projecting around other people, it might be part of the reason you feel lonely. Girls, and people in general, can pick up on arrogance and it ain't a turn-on. I'm not saying you do it on purpose, but it might be an unconscious vibe. Take it easy, don't concentrate so much on 'winning' or 'being the best' but rather just enjoy life, stay humble and follow all the other great advice that's already been given here.

 

[AtomicDog]

26 years old, I'm a very intelligent, great looking guy, dress impeccably, love working out and have a great body, most girls who see me are attracted to me physically (I know), I'm very picky, made over $700k net with my own business in my early 20s, just got accepted to a prestigious med school. Anyway, I'm smart, good looking and ambitious. I know I'm a catch.

I'm just curious...

How exactly did you find the time to run a business making you nearly a million a year, work out at gym and do prep study for a med course within the space of 6 years?

If you were making 700k a year, you must be a millionaire by now, in which case, why don't you just retire and spend all your time getting good with women? Rather than wasting your time at med school?

 

[Ambition Now]

Well there is a difference between being intoverted and suffering from social anxiety. My suggestion? Fvck(forget about) girls for now, focus on building a social network and getting out of your comfort zone in a more "safe" environment. You're going to school right? Right there is a excellent oppourtunity to expand yourself socially, lots of people will be looking to make new friends.

As 1337 says, being the strong silent type can actually be quite intriging for the girls, of course that assumes you're part of a reasonable social circle and have some social proof, if you're a loner then it just comes off as creepy. Being introverted doesn't mean you have to sit on your computer all day every day jerking it to your latest fetish. You can be introverted and still have a reasonable social life.

If you claim being intelligent and analytical are your big assets then use them, next time you're out, analyze what the other guys who you strive to be more like are doing then slowly try to integrate those into your game. Chances are you're not going to go from loner to top cheese of a big social group, the improvements will be slower but they will happen. I think you might benefit from another site I've been to in the past.

http://www.succeedsocially.com/

Other guys don't care about your past, they care about what you bring to the table right now. They don't have to worry about getting herpes from you because of a drunken mistake you made a few years ago. I think a big mistake you're making, is that you're expecting to make friends and be BFF, I'm guilty of the same thing from time to time, the reality is friends will pass in and out of your life, it's not a big deal it just means you don't share the same interests anymore. As you bring more to the table people are going to start becoming more interested in befriending you.

The end goal might be to start landing women, but you need to improve yourself if you want real success. That's what seperates this site from the PUA community, the end goal might be the same, but this site will make you alot stronger as a man and attract ladies this way instead of just using tricks that'll work to get you laid in the short term.

*edit* one more thing to add, if you do have a date in the next little while, go into it not with the goal of getting laid, but the goal of having fun regardless of the end result. Women will feed of that positive energy and the lack of attachment you have to outcome and you'll probably do better then you'd expect.

Thats the point! Im also an introvert and I used to have socail anxiety (still do a little, but got much better).

Being an introvert doesnt stop you from getting women, being socially anxious do.

Start working on this social anxiety by getting out of your comfort zone, do things that you would never do socially, go out alone, try to have conversations with people when you are making your daily stuff... make it become natural so you will know how to turn off your introspection when you want to.

Being an introvert is not a bad thing, some people might say that you HAVE to be an extrovert, but you dont. You have to be yourself, the best you can be, and thats it.

I benefit myself with lots of things from this introverted side of my personality and its essential to my professional work, just force yourself to balance it with a more active social life.

 

[thedarkpassenger]

We sound similar! I made money and built up my business at an early age, and I'm 27 now. I'm successful and very career oriented. I own my own business. I know what you mean. People like us that are very business and career oriented generally have our "mind elsewhere." Why do you think guys like Bill Gates aren't great with the ladies?

I say just take it easy. By what you're saying, I'm guessing you made your money in a way that doesn't require too much social contact? Internet business? Am I right?

It's funny because making money and meeting women are very similar but we don't realize it. I'm a very successful guy. I had the nice condo, the nice mercedes, nice clothes, expensive watch, etc. etc. but I had a hard time talking to women because I was so shy and nervous. I was less nervous about doing a $40,000 deal then I was asking out a woman. For me, I had a horrible time talking to women until one day, I realized that making money and meeting women are the same thing. It requires:

- Confidence
- Intelligence
- Fun

You just have to have fun and don't take it to seriously. Women love men that runs their own businesses because they have their own life, their own responsibilities, and are typically more ambitious and more responsible. Women LOVE men that are independent and have their own life, instead of clinging on to them. It's a huge turn on for women when a guy is busy running his own life and she has to "pursue" him.

Let your business be your own life, and women be second. It will be more natural if you focus on your business and just meet women naturally. Don't force it. Don't be nervous. Don't try. Just relax, have fun, and approach women like you do business. If you're successful in business, you'll be success with women once you learn they're both the same damn thing. That's what i've learned in my experience.

 

[thedarkpassenger]

I'm just curious...

How exactly did you find the time to run a business making you nearly a million a year, work out at gym and do prep study for a med course within the space of 6 years?

If you were making 700k a year, you must be a millionaire by now, in which case, why don't you just retire and spend all your time getting good with women? Rather than wasting your time at med school?

I believe he said $700k NET, meaning that was the total profits he's made from his business thus far. I don't think he meant "per year."

 

[L777]

Errr drop the ****ing hug ego and stop boasting? None of that **** really matters. There's your starting point.

 

[DonJuan11]

- 26 years old
- made over $700k net with my own business in my early 20s
- just got accepted to a prestigious med school.

You graduated high school at 18 and made an average of $100,000 US a year while studying 10 hours a day to get accepted into medical school at the same time?

What did you do in your business? Get a reality show by hiding your son in a balloon? Little suspicious...

 

[easun]

This is some great advice. Thank you.

 

[easun]

Yes, it was an Internet business.

 

[trent81]

If you are a good looking guy and supposedly rich and dress well and don't smell like shivt than I would say you have ZERO personality. That's something you can't buy. I would recommend you hire me to coach you on how to be a man. Besides, if I were you, I would buy as much puvsy as I could and not worry. You are 26 you moron, you should worry about this at 35. Get some hot escorts, go to the club and tell them to come out to your yacht, do some cocaine with them. Gettin a** with money is not hard. Gettin a girlfriend with money is easier. Start partying it up a little. Make your name out there. I'll party it up with you if u had cash. I could show you how easy it is to get laid if you were rich. Some people really need a slap in the face. WAKE UP.