jafyk
Master Don Juan
I love the honesty of this post. I've found myself questioning this same contradiction at times. I believe the truth is somewhere in between and it's at times like this I wish the likes of Rollo Tomassi with more experience are here to clarify. Personally, I'm dealing with this contradictions right now. In the sense that I'm not settled in my life as most people around me are. I'm working on it but things are dragging along and it's frustrating. This situation sometimes messes me up in the sense that when I think of approaching a girl my mind has already raced to the end. By that I mean even if in best case scenario I do get the girl. I don't have much to offer in the long term. The long term is what I want at this stage of my life. Even in the short term some factors are not working out for me. I recently moved to a new city and I'm staying with a friend in his one bedroom. I don't have a car and my current phone is strictly google voice #. So, think of how all this will affect other things with a girl.Pandora said:2 contradictory schools of thought on dating and SoSuave:
1.)
You hear from one side of the argument to pursue your interests in life and women will come to you. This is what the MGTOW movement espouses. Im not sure if men can even be totally indifferent to the power of pu***. But some believe the total indifference is the key to a fulfilling love life. I have found that if you are indifferent then you will get nothing and be celibate. This doesnt sound very good.
2.)
The other argument is that you should not be indifferent at all. This school of thought says that dating is purely a numbers game. Its similar to sales. The more women you meet the higher the likely hood of one of these women liking you. The more approaches you do the more lays you get. Simple statistics. This school of thought is the opposite of indifference. This is the way i personally go about dating and i have had mediocre results. This is represented by the NEXTING mentality.
Not sure which one to choose or which one is correct. I do know that i am tired of being a slave to vag*na. I do ok but it takes a ton of work to get one mediocre lay. Its not good for your self esteem either. Being rejected or toyed with mentally is unhealthy for your psyche. Most of my friends are also slaves to getting laid. Roosh V just made a post about how " His Boner is his master".
So is it " Pursue your interests in life and women will take care of themselves" vs " Go out and do the field work"..which one will lead to a more fulfilling life?
So, in some ways my mind is more preoccupied with righting this wrong that my desire to go hitting on the next girl isn't high because. I feel like "What's the point?". I know there are others here who might say I'm using that as an excuse bla bla bla and maybe they are right. I have gotten a few #s and once I had a girl over I had met once from the state I moved from. She came to this State on road trip. I invited her over. She came and when I tried to make a move on her she wasn't having it. As someone said confidence come s with having success and with more success you get more success.
Anyway, I'll try to give an answer about the OP's question as I understand it. I believe the key here is a healthy balance. You can't be overly aggressive and you can't be overly indifferent. When you are pursuing your dreams and improving yourself there will normally be a few women in that scene and if they are not coming to you at least they are in your scene. You can go to them. On the flip side if you are always going after the women (the numbers game style). Sure you might come across a ton of women but they may not be the type you are looking for since you are the one going after them in their world. Maybe it's the natural imperative for us to be slaves to vajajay. However, the educated mind tries to rule this urge and only give into it at the right moment (that would be during your physical interaction with your target). In other words you can't allow every move you make to be dictated by your desires to fvck. I see that with a lot of guys and despite their success there's just something about it that I find off putting. That their every waking moment is consumed by sex.