Warning: This will be a very long post.
It's been a little less than a year since the last time I posted here. When I first posted here I was miserable, I had dropped out of college and hadn't left my room for almost a week. I finally decided to stop being a little *****, partly thanks to advice I got here, and started trying to turn my life around. I've had some rough spots but I have made some progress.
When I first moved here I got 2 jobs to work for a few months before school started, one of them was at a large retail store and the other was for a landscaping company. I made a couple of friends at the store and made some money, but the best part for me was that I gained a lot more social experience by talking with all the customers and fellow employees at my jobs. I can now actually hold a conversation with a complete stranger, which I could never do before, although I need to work on my social skills further. I didn't keep in touch with anyone from the store after I stopped working there, but I just received a voicemail the other day from one of the guys I used to hang out with there about a paycheck I forgot to pick up, and he left his cell phone number, he's pretty cool and we have a lot of similar interests so I will probably call him up and hang out with him sometime, it will be a good way to have some fun and increase my social circle.
I also got a copy of this book: www.StartingStrength.com and started exercising and eating a lot better than before. I put on a lot of muscle and lost a lot of fat and started to feel a lot better about my body. I still have a lot of work to do though, I want to continue to make progress on changing my body by lifting weights, doing cardio, and my diet still has room for improvement. I also have gynecomastia, and I am saving for an operation to have it corrected.
Another big change for me was that I decided that I needed to learn how to defend myself. I can think of several incidents during middle and high school where I was hit and picked on by other guys and I literally did nothing about it because I was such a little *****. Toward this end, I have started training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I entered a tournament a few weeks ago and I lost my very first match in under a minute, but I didn't care because it was a good experience and I pushed my comfort level. If you had told me a year ago that I'd be in a BJJ match with hundreds of people watching I'd never have believed you. I am the newest and youngest member at the BJJ school, all the other guys are a few years older and much better than me and I get tapped out 15+ times a day, but I will keep training and improving. I have already come a long way, and going there has also helped my social skills even though I don't hang out with any of those guys outside of training. I'm also interested in learning how to box and I'm looking into that a little bit right now.
When school started, I started actually trying for the first time in my life. I really started studying and working hard and actually got decent grades in the last semester; I got 4 Bs. Not great, but it's better than I've ever done before, and I hope to do better this semester. This semester, I purposely scheduled all my classes early in the morning so I will be forced to get up early and go to bed early instead of staying up all night watching TV and then sleeping late the next day. A side benefit I just discovered is that parking is a breeze since there's no one there. Last semester I had to drive around for half an hour to find a spot; now I just park wherever I want because all the spots are open
Finally, I have also started dressing a little nicer than before and taking better care of myself. I got some nice clothes, nothing too fancy since I don't have a lot of money, but much better than how I used to dress. I get my hair cut regularly instead of just every 6 months, I shave regularly, etc. I still have room for improvement here though; for example, I keep not flossing my teeth at night because I'm just being lazy (my dentist noticed and reminded me at my last checkup :trouble, and my skin is very pale because I don't go outside very much.
There are a lot of things I need to work on:
Fitness - I need to get back to lifting heavy in the gym, and improving my diet. I have been slacking off in the weight room for a while now because I was more focused on BJJ conditioning, but I can do both with the right nutrition. I need to start eating more, 5 healthy meals a day minimum, at regular intervals. This is part of the reason I set up my school schedule the way it is, to have a consistent timetable, and I also just ordered a bunch of protein powder to help me improve my protein intake, I need to get up to 2x BW in grams daily. I also need to stop being lazy and start flossing my teeth, every single day, no excuses. Also, I need to get a tan, it will make me look and feel better. It's cold out right now but as soon as it warms up in a couple months I will work on that.
Obviously a big one for all of us: Women - I have had one girlfriend in my entire life, she was hot and everything but she basically threw herself at me, I didn't have to do anything and there was no challenge at all, and it lasted about 3.5 months till she moved away. I've never even kissed another girl. This was almost 3 years ago, so obviously I'm pretty lonely. I think this problem will fix itself eventually as I continue to improve myself, work out, expand my social circle, etc. I also just need to start talking to women and approaching. I blow opportunities all the time. For example, I got to one of my classes early the other day and no one was there yet, so I walked into the room, turned the lights on and sat down to wait. I was the first one there and when I went in this cute girl who was waiting for the class in the lobby followed me in and smiled at me and sat down a couple rows in front of me. There was no one else there and it was the PERFECT opportunity to start a conversation, but I couldn't think of anything to say and just sat there and flipped through my notes instead. I should have started a conversation, about anything, the class, the weather, etc., next time I will.
On a similar tangent: Masturbating - It's embarrassing, but I will admit I do it WAY TOO MUCH. It is a total waste of time. The hour I spent jacking it to porn could have been an hour I spent in the real world talking to real women, or expanding my social circle, or studying, or doing ANYTHING to improve myself. Instead, it's just a wasted hour. It also makes me tired, which has a negative effect on gym performance; it decreases my desire for real women, etc. It's a vicious cycle that I need to stop.
School and studying - I need to start studying more. I am lucky in that I am pretty smart and can get away with cramming the night before the test, etc., but as my classes get harder that's just not going to cut it anymore, and it's a bad habit anyway. I also need to pick a major soon, so I'm really going to need to sit down and figure out what I want to do as a career. I also have a bad habit of being late to class because I oversleep or something stupid like that... no more. It's embarrassing to walk in in the middle of a lecture, and I miss important things in the class. From now on I will get up half an hour earlier.
Social Skills – I’ve made great progress. 10 months ago I couldn’t carry on a conversation with anyone I didn’t know. However, I still have a lot of work to do. For example, I had a test today in one of my classes. When I was walking to my next class, a guy who sits near me in the first class started talking to me about the test. I carried on the conversation for a while but eventually I couldn’t think of anything else to say. He had to leave to go to a different building. I should have asked his name, told him my name, shook hands, etc., but I just wasn’t thinking.
So, these are all the things I need to work on. I’d be interested to hear anyone else’s stories or advice on similar topics. Congratulations on reading this far
It's been a little less than a year since the last time I posted here. When I first posted here I was miserable, I had dropped out of college and hadn't left my room for almost a week. I finally decided to stop being a little *****, partly thanks to advice I got here, and started trying to turn my life around. I've had some rough spots but I have made some progress.
When I first moved here I got 2 jobs to work for a few months before school started, one of them was at a large retail store and the other was for a landscaping company. I made a couple of friends at the store and made some money, but the best part for me was that I gained a lot more social experience by talking with all the customers and fellow employees at my jobs. I can now actually hold a conversation with a complete stranger, which I could never do before, although I need to work on my social skills further. I didn't keep in touch with anyone from the store after I stopped working there, but I just received a voicemail the other day from one of the guys I used to hang out with there about a paycheck I forgot to pick up, and he left his cell phone number, he's pretty cool and we have a lot of similar interests so I will probably call him up and hang out with him sometime, it will be a good way to have some fun and increase my social circle.
I also got a copy of this book: www.StartingStrength.com and started exercising and eating a lot better than before. I put on a lot of muscle and lost a lot of fat and started to feel a lot better about my body. I still have a lot of work to do though, I want to continue to make progress on changing my body by lifting weights, doing cardio, and my diet still has room for improvement. I also have gynecomastia, and I am saving for an operation to have it corrected.
Another big change for me was that I decided that I needed to learn how to defend myself. I can think of several incidents during middle and high school where I was hit and picked on by other guys and I literally did nothing about it because I was such a little *****. Toward this end, I have started training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I entered a tournament a few weeks ago and I lost my very first match in under a minute, but I didn't care because it was a good experience and I pushed my comfort level. If you had told me a year ago that I'd be in a BJJ match with hundreds of people watching I'd never have believed you. I am the newest and youngest member at the BJJ school, all the other guys are a few years older and much better than me and I get tapped out 15+ times a day, but I will keep training and improving. I have already come a long way, and going there has also helped my social skills even though I don't hang out with any of those guys outside of training. I'm also interested in learning how to box and I'm looking into that a little bit right now.
When school started, I started actually trying for the first time in my life. I really started studying and working hard and actually got decent grades in the last semester; I got 4 Bs. Not great, but it's better than I've ever done before, and I hope to do better this semester. This semester, I purposely scheduled all my classes early in the morning so I will be forced to get up early and go to bed early instead of staying up all night watching TV and then sleeping late the next day. A side benefit I just discovered is that parking is a breeze since there's no one there. Last semester I had to drive around for half an hour to find a spot; now I just park wherever I want because all the spots are open
Finally, I have also started dressing a little nicer than before and taking better care of myself. I got some nice clothes, nothing too fancy since I don't have a lot of money, but much better than how I used to dress. I get my hair cut regularly instead of just every 6 months, I shave regularly, etc. I still have room for improvement here though; for example, I keep not flossing my teeth at night because I'm just being lazy (my dentist noticed and reminded me at my last checkup :trouble
, and my skin is very pale because I don't go outside very much. There are a lot of things I need to work on:
Fitness - I need to get back to lifting heavy in the gym, and improving my diet. I have been slacking off in the weight room for a while now because I was more focused on BJJ conditioning, but I can do both with the right nutrition. I need to start eating more, 5 healthy meals a day minimum, at regular intervals. This is part of the reason I set up my school schedule the way it is, to have a consistent timetable, and I also just ordered a bunch of protein powder to help me improve my protein intake, I need to get up to 2x BW in grams daily. I also need to stop being lazy and start flossing my teeth, every single day, no excuses. Also, I need to get a tan, it will make me look and feel better. It's cold out right now but as soon as it warms up in a couple months I will work on that.
Obviously a big one for all of us: Women - I have had one girlfriend in my entire life, she was hot and everything but she basically threw herself at me, I didn't have to do anything and there was no challenge at all, and it lasted about 3.5 months till she moved away. I've never even kissed another girl. This was almost 3 years ago, so obviously I'm pretty lonely. I think this problem will fix itself eventually as I continue to improve myself, work out, expand my social circle, etc. I also just need to start talking to women and approaching. I blow opportunities all the time. For example, I got to one of my classes early the other day and no one was there yet, so I walked into the room, turned the lights on and sat down to wait. I was the first one there and when I went in this cute girl who was waiting for the class in the lobby followed me in and smiled at me and sat down a couple rows in front of me. There was no one else there and it was the PERFECT opportunity to start a conversation, but I couldn't think of anything to say and just sat there and flipped through my notes instead. I should have started a conversation, about anything, the class, the weather, etc., next time I will.
On a similar tangent: Masturbating - It's embarrassing, but I will admit I do it WAY TOO MUCH. It is a total waste of time. The hour I spent jacking it to porn could have been an hour I spent in the real world talking to real women, or expanding my social circle, or studying, or doing ANYTHING to improve myself. Instead, it's just a wasted hour. It also makes me tired, which has a negative effect on gym performance; it decreases my desire for real women, etc. It's a vicious cycle that I need to stop.
School and studying - I need to start studying more. I am lucky in that I am pretty smart and can get away with cramming the night before the test, etc., but as my classes get harder that's just not going to cut it anymore, and it's a bad habit anyway. I also need to pick a major soon, so I'm really going to need to sit down and figure out what I want to do as a career. I also have a bad habit of being late to class because I oversleep or something stupid like that... no more. It's embarrassing to walk in in the middle of a lecture, and I miss important things in the class. From now on I will get up half an hour earlier.
Social Skills – I’ve made great progress. 10 months ago I couldn’t carry on a conversation with anyone I didn’t know. However, I still have a lot of work to do. For example, I had a test today in one of my classes. When I was walking to my next class, a guy who sits near me in the first class started talking to me about the test. I carried on the conversation for a while but eventually I couldn’t think of anything else to say. He had to leave to go to a different building. I should have asked his name, told him my name, shook hands, etc., but I just wasn’t thinking.
So, these are all the things I need to work on. I’d be interested to hear anyone else’s stories or advice on similar topics. Congratulations on reading this far
