Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

!0 for 15!??!!?!?!?

JLW

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2005
Messages
375
Reaction score
7
COME ONNNNNNN!!!!!

Third night out at the club
approaching various girls

NO LUCK AT ALL!?

On average I've tried to approach about 7 girls per night. Not too over the top but at the same time not too conservative.

GOD DAMN this is hard.

I mean, I'm not a bad looking guy but clearly I'm doing something wrong.

I've basically just been introducing myself to girls and starting stupid/funny casual conversation with them. Clearly that hasnt been working...

Tried to dance with a few and that's failed as well....

How should I go about gaining attraction with girls at clubs?

Any advice is appreciated, because like I said, I'm clearly doing something wrong (don't know what it is)

By the way, as the subject implies, I've easily approached 15-25 girls. I'm moderately well dressed, in decent shape, not bad looking at all. I just dont get it!!
 

ENIGMA16

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2009
Messages
769
Reaction score
21
You can't just post saying "I approached and it didn't work; what am I doing wrong?!" and expect us to be able to help you. You're going to need to post a LOT more detail than that, and even in that case we might not be able to help because a transcript can't tell us all the dynamics of the interaction.
 

garruk

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
438
Reaction score
7
club game is easy, describe a typical attempt for you.
 

Mistic

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2008
Messages
464
Reaction score
19
Location
Just beyond reach
Bro, listen to me closely: You need a mentor. Obviously you're on the cusp of success, and no one here can get you there. You need a live person you can watch operate in the field. Just go with him, forget about girls, shut up, watch and learn.

I occasionally take guys out who show some promise, and let them watch the way it is done. And 10 out of 10 say they learned more in one night with me, than all the books and forums they ever read.

This is my gut instinct for you. Find someone, not to imitate, but to download the talent from. Just dont get in his way. Just shut up, have a couple drinks and observe.
 

War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 19, 2007
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
28
Location
California
In addition to what has already been said, some nights you're going to score big, other nights you're going to be in a rut. I remember one night I only got rejected by one girl out of many, the very next night I went 2/17. The ratio of your rejections isn't always a direct reflection of your game.
 

Mistic

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2008
Messages
464
Reaction score
19
Location
Just beyond reach
dj_china said:
can I have a night out with you Mistic? :)
Here's what it would look like if you did. On this night, I was bored, staying at a hostil while traveling, preaching DJ theory to a bunch of nay sayers. I decided to show them live how it's done. I opened up 5 sets, totaling 11 girls, bounced them all to one single bar, where they bought me drinks and followed my every instruction. Here is a few pics. Notice I have on the same shirt etc, so it is obviously the same night.


http://s394.photobucket.com/albums/pp23/xonage2/?action=view&current=CIMG4635.jpg&newest=1
 

drak_ool

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2007
Messages
766
Reaction score
21
JLW said:
NO LUCK AT ALL!?
Lose that mentality bro! It's not about luck it's about game. If you don't know what to do in a club, do some research, there's 1000s of articles/threads about night game.

Then come back here and give us an example of an actual approach, with details so we can give you some feedback.
 

morepoonplease

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2010
Messages
114
Reaction score
1
Mistic said:
Here's what it would look like if you did. On this night, I was bored, staying at a hostil while traveling, preaching DJ theory to a bunch of nay sayers. I decided to show them live how it's done. I opened up 5 sets, totaling 11 girls, bounced them all to one single bar, where they bought me drinks and followed my every instruction. Here is a few pics. Notice I have on the same shirt etc, so it is obviously the same night.


http://s394.photobucket.com/albums/pp23/xonage2/?action=view&current=CIMG4635.jpg&newest=1
how do u do it?
 

Mistic

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2008
Messages
464
Reaction score
19
Location
Just beyond reach
morepoonplease said:
how do u do it?
Like I said man, you would have to just hang out with me to understand. It's like anything else. You can learn yoga in a book, but you need a real instructor to make the subtle adjustments that arent clear from reading or lookinng at pics. Imagine how much better you would be at basketball if MJ was training you. Or you go skating with your friends and one kid can do all kinds of insane tricks, it pushes you to learn.

That why I dont have much regard for forums. They can only help you so much. That is why Mystery was so revolutionary by taking guys into the field to show them first hand. And now a lot of his student are PU guru's etc.

1. You need to get the mental understanding from books and friends.

2. You need live coaching from a master or someone on top of their game

3. YOU need to get out there and pound the streets. Trial and error. Failures.

When you finally decide that, "I am not going to let this happen anymore. I wanted that girl and let her go." When you cant tolerate that feeling anymore, and failure becomes worse than rejection, you'll be unstoppable.
 

JLW

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2005
Messages
375
Reaction score
7
Well to give more detail,

I went and hung out with a couple friends at this store opening. They were serving beer and food and it was actually a lot of fun. Just hung out and did some random ****. Talked to people and had a good time. After about 3 hours, I decided I wanted to go to the club but none of my other friends really wanted to go. So I was off on my own. I have never done this before but I wasn't particularly bothered by it, like a lot of posters on this board are (going out by themselves, that is). The only thing that was weird about it is that there's nothing really to fall back on or do since you're not with friends.


I guess the simplest solution to this would be just to make talk with other dudes there and just hang out. I did this a little bit but there's always long spaces in between actual social situations. I'd be getting a drink or something, and make some small talk with a guy (or girl), have a short laugh, introduce myself, and then I'd get distracted, or the conversation would die, or something would happen, and that would be the end of that.

So I would say I spent about 70% of the time lurking around, and only 30% of the time actually talking to people.

I cold approached 4 girls within a 45 minute span and got rejected by all of them.

One cute girl was sitting with her friend and I introduced myself.

Went right up to her and said hi. We talked for about 30 seconds and basically just asked if she was from the area and if she went to school. She was giving me one word answers so I basically just walked away because she clearly wasnt interested.

I feel like a problem I have is not starting with anything interesting or funny to say. Usually if I can get a girl talking I am pretty funny but maybe I should start with a funny line to begin with?

I don't like using "canned" pick up lines like that. The standard introduction seems most natural to me. But if the method I'm using now isn't working then I should probably change it...

"Hey, my name's JLW, you from around here or what?" Apparently isn't good enough. It certainly isnt anything that would build any attraction, but I guess if the girl is already moderately interested it would work fine.

I just realized though (while writing this) that I totally ignored her friend! That certainly would not have helped my cause. I know this for next time.

The next girl I talked to was looking kind of lost. She was standing and I guess looking around for her friends or something. So I made a comment on her "looking lost" or something and we had a short conversation maybe 2 minutes long, but then she found what she was looking for (her friends) and bolted. So that was that.

Went to the dance floor and tried to dance with 2 or 3 girls but to no avail.

After about 45 minutes of this I basically called it a night. It was my first time out and I figured I'd chalk the rejections up to learning experience.

First night out by myself and I certainly could have improved but I'm glad I went for it.

I think I just need to work on introductions and go STRAIGHT to something actually interesting. Nobody actually cares about school and that kind of ****. It's just that it's hard for me to figure out what the hell else to open up with. Once I get the conversation going I'm a pretty funny guy, though. Any input?
 

backbreaker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 24, 2002
Messages
11,607
Reaction score
572
Location
monrovia, CA
practice makes perfect. keep pushin.

man i look at where I am now with women and where I truely started out on my path and it's amazing. after hitting my AFC bottom i bought like 10 books and came here back in I think 2002 and I saw a girl at the cleaners who I thought was cute (in reality she was a solid 5 in retrospect) and it took me 2 weeks to muster the courage to tell her i thought she was cute and ask her on a date which she promptly, but kindly, rejected.


man we all start somewhere. dont' quit
 

Diddimac

New Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2010
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
"I cold approached 4 girls within a 45 minute span and got rejected by all of them."

Explain why you feel you were rejected. Did they tell you to get the F*** away..etc?
 

JLW

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2005
Messages
375
Reaction score
7
Diddimac said:
"I cold approached 4 girls within a 45 minute span and got rejected by all of them."

Explain why you feel you were rejected. Did they tell you to get the F*** away..etc?

Depends on the girl.

First girl I talked to I said hi and introduced myself. She gave one word answers to all of my questions. The whole time I was talking to her she was looking around and not at me. While this wasn't an overt "get the hell away" it was pretty obvious that she wasn't interested.

Second girl I talked to for a little bit longer. She seemed more receptive at the very least. She eventually bolted though and said she had to "go find her friends" so that was the end of that. This wasn't necessarily a complete rejection but her tone and body language was not welcoming towards the end.

Third girl literally pushed me away from her on the dance floor.

Fourth girl I said hi to turned away.
 

r0cky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
1,052
Reaction score
30
Expect to get blown out about 100 times more before you start having noticeable results.
Its not easy, and this is why there are only a few real pua's in the world (yet millions of posters on pick up forums )
 

JLW

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2005
Messages
375
Reaction score
7
I guess I'll just have to be patient and accept the fact that for now I have very little experience in this setting.

I'll continue to update.

I'll be going out again next weekend.
 

Diddimac

New Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2010
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
This sounds like a good start. We all have gone through these reactions by women at the club. You got rejected 1 time from the looks of it. Not bad! During your incounter with girl 1 and 2 you picked up on their body language.signs..etc which is good. Next time, when you feel the person is not feeling you, say It was nice meeting her and move on. End it on your terms.

I have some ideas for your next club visit if you want to hear them.

Are you going to the same club each time? What is the dress code? What are you wearing?


JLW said:
Depends on the girl.

First girl I talked to I said hi and introduced myself. She gave one word answers to all of my questions. The whole time I was talking to her she was looking around and not at me. While this wasn't an overt "get the hell away" it was pretty obvious that she wasn't interested.

Second girl I talked to for a little bit longer. She seemed more receptive at the very least. She eventually bolted though and said she had to "go find her friends" so that was the end of that. This wasn't necessarily a complete rejection but her tone and body language was not welcoming towards the end.

Third girl literally pushed me away from her on the dance floor.

Fourth girl I said hi to turned away.
 
Top