First week of college and no luck yet with girls

I just got done reading some other thread where a guy posted about his EC not working and was asked to post a picture... to which he received alot of replies, some which were brutally honest. Since being in college thus far, i havent gone out of my way to meet any new girls honestly. Ive just been trying to have fun and chill.. havent been focusing on any approaches, EC's or anything like that. Reason im posting this though is because even though I havent been trying very hard to get girls... neither have my friends. Like we'll have girls over and a girl will just start flirting with one of my friends or being all up on him... ive noticed girls being pretty forward since being in college so far (my second year), but this hasnt been the case for me and i have no idea why. Ive heard from girls that im very "cute" and i probably get "lots of girs" but in reality, when im not trying to get girls.... i wont get any attention whatsoever from them.. as more than a friend anyway.

First let me post my picture.... maybe theres something about me that intimidates girl, i am after all 6'4 black guy... pretty big, which is why i try to come across as approachable and easy going. I laugh alot with my friends, tell jokes and stuff but they wont flirt with me sexually like they will with others. Here go a few pics of what i look like..
Lets see... not smiling: http://jupiter.walagata.com/w/python49/0001.jpg
Smiling one.. (pretty old though): http://jupiter.walagata.com/w/python49/Carl.jpg
And just some random one a girl snapped of me last year: http://jupiter.walagata.com/w/python49/fourths.JPG

Ive been told im cute so i dont think looks is the problem... but it may very well be, not too sure which approach would go best with my looks, bad boy? maybe a humorus type approach? Dunno.. first week though ive just been being myself and not really cared. I still keep up the c/f though like scond nature and it helps some i think but the girls dont really flirt with me TOO much, for example when we had a few girls over... this one girl that was all up on my friend said to me "aww i like you already!" and id say "i betcha do... u've definitely got good taste" and then wink at her. And she would occasionally flirt with me like asking me to grab her ass to see if it was nice or not. My friend wanted to hook up with her though so i would leave it alone.

Another example would be last night there was this girl at a party that i got along with good... had my arm aroud her throughout the night, we'd hug each other, talk alot, flirt, talk about sex and hook ups, stuff like that... but she seemed to be more interested in one of my friends, she ended up asking him to walk her to the bus stop to catch this circuit that runs throughout the night. I probably shoulda been more forward with her though.. even though i was c/f flirtatious or wutevcer, since i didnt just try to seal the deal this coulda been a turn off.

And then theres this other girl that i talked to last year that i ran into like the first day of school... she offered me her phone number without me asking for it, and is living in the same building as me. Im not sure how to go about hooking up with her, maybe call her up one night and invite her down to drink with me and my friendS? I was hesitant to do this though because it seems whenever im around other guys, they are the main point of attention.. but i dunno, i think she's interested for sure. Any advice on steps to go about hooking up with her?

The main reason im posting this in the first place is because it's generally accepted that with females you have to be the aggressor to win them over, but in this first week ive noticed guys not trying.. just basically putting forth as much effort as me, and girls flocking to them... whereas i have to actually flirt and use c/f to get a girl to seem somewhat interested.. and its confusing as hell. And shyt, this is probably too long to get any real replies...

sometimes girls can get intimidated by bigger guys, so you'll probably have to put forth some effort im guessing. Dont get hung up on other guys not putting forth effort, and just focus on yourself.

Go out tonight, and live it up. Strike up a conversation with a random girl, and take it from there. have fun

for what its worth, we have the same poster of carmen electra in our college appartment too.

OK, let me give it a shot.

First, I think you're average looking. You're a bit pudgy, especially in the first pic. If you're 6-4, you should be around 200lbs. If you're more than that (and not into BB, which is fine), lose weight. It will help. But, for women, as long as you're above a certain level of attractiveness, then it's all good. You're above this level, so don't worry about it. But, losing weight will help you.

Second, I'm not particularly fond of the look (eg. the cap, earring, and large chain). But, I've been out of college for awhile (a long while , so maybe I'm not up on the current fashions. Ultimately, go with what is appropriate for your age and social status (i.e. student); and what you feel powerful and confident wearing.

Third, your post is rather meandering. It was very 'stream of consciousness' without a clear point. Focus more on what *you* want out of the college experience. If it's babes, then go for it. I would rather spend the time bettering myself (eg. get very good grades, work out, join clubs, sports etc.) and the b!tches will come. As part of the college experience, if you could take a year in another country (anywhere outside of the US), it would give you a fresh perspective; and you would be an instant celeb. for that one year, wherever you are. This may be expensive though.

Fourth, it gets easier as you get older, especially if you are a successful man (and much of this foundantion is layed in college). See point 3 above.

Fifth, you mention initially in your post that your black. Without starting a flame fest, it would likely be easier for you to mack black women. Asian or white will be difficult, since many prefer asian or white men respectively.

Sixth, do what *you* think is best, be true to the man that *you* want to be, and never apologize or supplicate.

Best,

This is what I think...Just some food for thought...

If you are a black dude going after white chicks, you have to initiate...You dont have the luxury of your friends cause if they are white, the white girls are gonna fukk with them off the bat, mainly because they might not like black dudes or they dont know how to approach them...If you were a white dude and you were trying to get a black chicks and your friends were black, it would be the same thing...Also, Ive noticed that if you are black and you dress the way you do, you need to be more agressive, espically if you are the only black dude in the group...Most white girls I see that go for black dudes go for that type...I see it all the time, there will be a group of white dudes and one black dude that acts passive or whatever, he gets passed over when the white chicks come...As far as appearance, if you are going for the fitted/ice look, people will expect you to act a certain way, and if you dont, they might be dissapointed...

Originally posted by stevera004
As part of the college experience, if you could take a year in another country (anywhere outside of the US), it would give you a fresh perspective; and you would be an instant celeb. for that one year, wherever you are.

Click to expand...

why would that make you an instant celeb?

Originally posted by stevera004

Second, I'm not particularly fond of the look

Click to expand...

I second this.


you look like a guy you see in the back of a ludacris video.


"superman video, you were in the back" kinda ****.


When I see guys like this, I think follower. not leader.

Originally posted by bootlegger
I second this.


you look like a guy you see in the back of a ludacris video.


"superman video, you were in the back" kinda ****.


When I see guys like this, I think follower. not leader.

Click to expand...

Also a good point.

The way he is dressing could be a problem, cause its the hip hop equivilent of wearing a polo and khakis...If you had some sick jewlery to wear like rappers do it would make the outfit look better, but if you dont, I wouldnt even bother with it...For one, everyone I see dresses like that (fitted, t shirt, jeans) and it doesnt make you stand out, and for some people, it might give off the wrong impression...I remember you said you attract black girls that arnt your type, its because image wise, you are their type but inside you are not...You should get some clothes that rep your personality...Sean John, Enyce, and other companies have clothes that are more casual with hip hop flair...

If I saw you I would be Intimidated, and I am not even a chick!!!!!

ditto all the posts. not using your height as dominance is something you could tap into...

btw im in university and that "fabolous" look is played IMO

people who can pull off an urban image without getting the XXXL t-shirt/throwback jersey, baggy jeans and hat....turns a lot more heads

i dont mean to put down your style. absolutely nothing wrong with it. its just that the style is easy, and since its easy tons of people do it.

but if you take the time to make yourself look good, you will feel that extra boost of confidence. also when people see a man that takes care of himself and takes pride in his appearance, he looks in control and is head and shoulders above half the guys in the room.

some very good and valuable posts here. It seems like it comes back around to the problem I used to have a while ago which was that since I was black, in a mostly white school and going after white girls.. my clothes were misleading and contradictory to what im actually all about. If a girl did like my physical appearance, she'd be expecting a different personality than what i have, so yeah I suppose thats something i should probably look into possibly changing.

I dress in those types of clothes mainly becauase its comftorable to me and like someone else said, yes, it is actually very easy. If i were going after mostly black women then im pretty sure it'd be alot easier as someone suggested already. Ive already had black girls at my school make moves on me without me even saying one word to them, which is similar to the way white girls will make moves on some of my friends.. as someone else said. i dont have that luxury, but the problem enlies that my school is mostly white, so really I guess what it boils down to is whats the best way to attract the average white girl. I know that occasionally ill run into a white girl who just loves black guys and the whole urban image.. (i hooked up with a few last year), but those arent too plentiful either. Im gonna look into changing clothes somewhat... that's probably a big reason white girls wouldnt be interested because i dont look like their type.. they dont like the whole urban image.

Someone else also made a good point that if im black ill have to be more aggressive, and if the girl actually digs black guys she'd be expecting something from me which i probably dont have.. i dunno, ghetto bad boy.. dope dealing, hell if i know. I may change up my look somewhat and see how that goes.

The reason i try to come across as open is because i dont wanna scare any girls off.. since my physical appearance could already possibly be intimidating depending on where she's from and the races she's been exposed to, but yeah i know this technique is boring which is why normally i am blunt and confident, and girls know ill call them out on most stuff.

Eh..I don't think there nothing wrong with the way you dress. I see alot of people dressed like that at my university. I think your worring too much. You sound insecure of yourself. You need to be confident. When you see your friends, try to take notice. See what they are doing, maybe they are just better then you at attracting women. Take notes and use it. It great experience seeing how it done infront of you.

Good for u Buddy! But I dont understand why r black guys so hell bent on getting a white chicks. Why dose it matter what race they? Im 1/2 Mexican and 1/2 white and I have hac girls of all colors have crushes on me even some black girls on my track team! Although last year I was clueless when it came to girls, but this year Im going after all of them! Black or white!

Well unforsaken, thats the thing.... thats the reason i made this thread because ive actually watched what they do and they dont do anything at all. Like a girl will just walk in while we are playing poker, sit next to one of my friends whose playing and start saying stuff like "i think im good luck for you!" and use that to start flirting with him.

And sterling, i cant speak for the majority of black guys who like white girls, but for myself, i like women of all races.. and since my school is majority white, that would be the majority of the girls i approach and talk to.

^^^**** that post.

Get a button up man. Dress like Jay-Z does in his videos...button up, hat, jeans, and clean white shoes, that would do you just fine. You don't even need the hat but a lot of times it works. You should always try to expand your look...try new things. And all these people are telling you to be "****sure" and "confident," I mean it's like, what do they expect to happen, a button to go off and you to turn into slick willie overnight? **** all that. Start with what you can change. The first thing I'd change is the wardrobe. Don't get me wrong sometimes I rock a white-t and I pull it off fine, but I don't think that should be your daily look.

And if you don't think what I'm suggesting is a "black" look. Look at Tupac man, he sported everything from blazers to jerseys, from designer suits to overalls. There's nothing you should be ashamed to wear, because if you're trying to attract ladies...man I'm serious I've started convo with chicks just for wearing a pink shirt. Just start with the wardrobe and move from there. But you'll be surprised how good you can feel when you're dressed fresh to death.

Another thing...you got a nice smile, keep flashing it.

How many women have you approached in this first week and attemted to either get the number or arrange a meeting? Or even better get them to hang out or go somewhere with you right there on the spot.? My guess is not many. If you want the women you have to be willing to make many approaches.

So... Bunk, I seem like a ***** how? Because I have white friends? Cause I dress the way I do but am not ghetto? And so you know.. i do listen to hip hop, i am friends with every black guy in the building and go out to parties with them often, and live with them, i play basketball and whatever else you deem to be "in the context" of dressing urban. It shouldnt even be relevent to mention this becuase it really doesnt matter.. but it seems like you're trying to jump to all these conclusions from a simple post.

jba1234, I know that to get girls you have to do approaches.. im very aware that if i went out and did numerous approaches a day that i'd start getting alot more girls, but i did mention in my initial post that i wasnt doing all that so far and just was trying to have fun and lay back. The actual reason for the post was because I noticed that even though im not trying at ALL to get girls, neither have my friends who get hit on when just hanging out and drinking in our appt by girls that come over.

It's only your first week so I wouldn't sweat it too much.

When I was in school, the places I ran into the most women buy coincidence were the library and the food court. Since you're still early in the semester, go to the food court during lunch, when it's busy and if you see a cutie sitting by herself, ask to sit with her and open up a conversation. It's an easy way to approach.

When you go to the library, sit close to the entrance so you can scope out the women walking by. Try to sit somewhere where a woman might sit next to you to study or whatever. This can also lead to conversation.

There are always your classes too. If you make yourself known in class by answering questions and in general being knowledgable on the subject matter, women will want to study with you, which is another real easy way to meet more women and expand your social circle.

In college, I also think it's a good idea to have more than one social circle. The more people you know, the more women you will be introduced to, and we all know that gaming a friend of a friend is much easier than gaming a woman cold.

As far as your style, dress in a manner that makes you comfortable, that conveys the individual that you are. If that's dressing hiphop, go along with that. If it's some other manner of dress, fine, as long as it is who you are. That's the most important part. I'm 6'3", black, but skinny but sometimes I'll feel like just throwing on some hiphop gear. Other times I'll throw on a long sleeve dress shirt, slacks and dress shoes, it all depends on the mood and even though the styles are quite different, it conveys who I am, so there's no conflict there.

Good luck. I can't think of a better place to meet women than college. If I had this web site when I was in college, god knows how many women I would have slept with.