Text game – forget the frills get straight to the point

Seeing some god awfull text game floating around SS at the moment its worrying me

A lot of the older DJ’s will say screw texting just call them up , but i know nowadays especially with younger chicks this won’t wash speaking on the phone to you means shes gonna have to invest in you

and with 30 other guys more than happy to text her why should she have to bother answering your call

right so first things first technically there is no “text game” you don’t want to be drawn into games

texting should only be used to create meetups, girls will try to drag you into texting games and before you know it your running around in circles chasing her

FVCK that

Your text game is just an extension of your frame in other words you have to sk text the chick the same way you would speak to her in real life

For example i was at a house party a couple of months ago and got chatting to a cute HB 7 immediately showed her who was boss raised her attraction and carried on my night

She followed me on twitter the next day and i got her number the texts where as follows

Me : good girl

Her : haha heya

Me: what you up to tmorrow ?

Her: hmm not sure yet you ? (bull*hit)

Me: im gonna take you out

Her: are you !?!

Me: yea xyz at 7

Her: it Better be good !! (another sh*t test)


Thats it no reply no pussvy footing around no “good night sweet dreams” no “how are you today baby xxxxx”

Just straight to the point if she flakes so what rinse repeat

( if youve mastered your inner game correctly she will sense your aloofness through the texts and obey without question)

This girl in the example actually met me and we had a great night but i later found out she was a bpd cocain* w*ore so had to get rid of her

i try to stick to text only for logistics. I have been sucked into text game and gotten destroyed. Honestly, when girls are interested in you, its hard to mess up, but when they are on the fence they try to bring you into text hell and torture you.

My current girl will try to $hit test me via text sometimes and I literally stop responding. She will always re-initiate later on with no BS or call me up. However, she is 30, and also seems to have high interest.

I know some people swear they can win chicks over via text, and this may be true for young girls, but I cannot and do not play that game. I am more interested in chicks who are a bit more mature and might be interested in something more than a fling, and thus will not play text game to try and increase my chances with a younger girl. Maybe I have missed bangs this way, who knows. All I know is that text hell sucks. I have never battled my way out of that with a girl that is on the fence.

With most things in life, moderation is the key. I've found that instant messaging like whatsapp can be useful if you use it the right way but as you said, the way guys text on here, they will end up f*cking it up. If you're fun, socially intelligent and already quite good with women, you can use it to your advantage. I've talked on here before about recovering old numbers just through texting and showing fun mixed with social intelligence. I think it's an underrated medium for building up some free attraction and rapport.

I know most guys won't agree but I can make it work myself so meh.

Bingo-Player's got the right idea. No pu$$y footing around via text. It's just for setting dates. Separates the ones who are into you from the ones that aren't.

I had a couple of girls get in touch with me initially via fb or Linked In messenger.

The one via LinkedIn I got her number in response. Then sent one text last night: "Hey, this is stugots26, when are you free in the next week to go out?"

Heard nothing back. Same for the one who contacted me via facebook. So I know they're bull$hitting me by reaching out, just trying to get attention.

Will I text back? Hell no. Women have to know that if they push you too far, you will walk away and never look back.

Now guys on here may say that I'm giving up too early, but THEY'RE THE ONES WHO INITIALLY REACHED OUT TO ME. Which means that when I ask them when they're free, they're either battling for control, $hit testing me, or playing games, and they need to know that I will not tolerate it.

MtnMan said:

I know some people swear they can win chicks over via text, and this may be true for young girls, but I cannot and do not play that game. I am more interested in chicks who are a bit more mature and might be interested in something more than a fling, and thus will not play text game to try and increase my chances with a younger girl. Maybe I have missed bangs this way, who knows. All I know is that text hell sucks. I have never battled my way out of that with a girl that is on the fence.

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True DJ stuff here. I love this because it shows that you know yourself and you're not willing to do something that's not congruent with you in order to get laid. As you said it never works out well.

OP you're spot on with your premise. One thing I keep telling myself is that it's important to be different. You mentioned the 30 other guys (orbiters) texting her all day, they truly are in text hell. Giving attention and often validation to a girl that won't be giving up the goods anytime soon. I've found that many younger chicks use this attention in lieu of real dating/sex. They feel pretty, sexy, desired and that's usually enough for them. It's not until they meet a man of value, a true DJ, that they put the phone down and make something happen IRL.

Believe me, I've been sucked into the game and I've been badly defeated. I don't play anymore.

The comms intimacy ladder, which I also found today, in descending order of interpersonal intimacy:

-In person
-Phone call
-Texting
-Email
-Messenger
-Facebook

Have this in mind with any communications. I've lost count the number of times I've argued the futility of excessive phone calls and e-comms with women. Complete absence will serve your chances better than excess e-comms and calls.

Stugots26 said:

The one via LinkedIn I got her number in response. Then sent one text last night: "Hey, this is stugots26, when are you free in the next week to go out?"

Heard nothing back. Same for the one who contacted me via facebook. So I know they're bull$hitting me by reaching out, just trying to get attention.

Will I text back? Hell no. Women have to know that if they push you too far, you will walk away and never look back.

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That's because you sent a shït text, she's going to read that and think "booooring", so why on earth would she agree to that. Whether you like it or not this is 2014, girls screen texts all the time so you have to be a little creative to get her attention. I have a standard template message in my head, which I send and the reply rate is about 95% because it's engaging but whenever I've sent "this is X, when are you free?" the reply rate and date rate drops dramatically. I tested the theory out the other day, I send the dull message, got no reply. Sent another one a few days later that was interesting, got the reply and the date and she really likes me now. You can say what you want but it's science, I right down the stats and have the results. Interesting text > standard dull text.

Guys talk about entitlement in women but guys seem to have the same issues. They don't understand how to speak to women, they think they can just send some lazy text and get away with it but time after time you will be proved wrong. Chances are you don't know her very well and you come across as boring, so why would she agree to go on a date with someone who comes across as rather dull. If you don't want to play the game, you can stick to the high interest girls who come across rarely and you don't even need game for those girls.

These girls hit you up and then lost interest, if you hit them up with a firm fate offer, a bit of humour and emotive language, they probably would have been more keen to meet up.

Mr Wright said:

That's because you sent a shït text, she's going to read that and think "booooring", so why on earth would she agree to that. Whether you like it or not this is 2014, girls screen texts all the time so you have to be a little creative to get her attention.

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I'm not going to chase the lay. Too much other interest from other women.

I'm not going to seek approval with "interesting" texts. Fvck that.

THEY got in touch with ME, and both of them know me in real life. If they're really interested, they'll get back in touch. Otherwise, they can fvck off.

Stugots26 said:

I'm not going to chase the lay. Too much other interest from other women.

I'm not going to seek approval with "interesting" texts. Fvck that.

THEY got in touch with ME, and both of them know me in real life. If they're really interested, they'll get back in touch. Otherwise, they can fvck off.

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If you've got so many other chicks to hit up, why are you wondering so much about the ones who got away? I call bullshït, it clearly gets to you.

If you're happy with your results, keep doing exactly what you're doing. The proof is in the pudding. It's literally making a few minor changes for better results but if you're too alpha for that, don't worry about it.

There's a difference between chasing the lay and just making yourself more appealing to women. Deep down you know this otherwise you wouldn't bother grooming and roll around in sweats all the time.

Dude, stop being a b1tch and baiting me. I'm not wondering. I'm citing field reports.

Call BS until you're blue in the face. I don't really give a fvck what you think. I'm just stating what my experience is and what my attitude is.

Do not tell me that I should be doing more when women REACHED OUT TO ME, and I respond, and hear nothing back. Attention wh0ring and game playing. That's a slippery slope to giving up my frame. Let some other beta play that role. It won't end well for them.

It's not about chasing the lay. It's about finding the one with the best attitude. And the one with the best attitude will get over herself and admit that she's the one who initiated and not act like it's my job to dance the best jig to be rewarded with her pvssy.

Why should I be the one to try to win THEIR attention? These women got MY attention by reaching out. If they want to KEEP MY ATTENTION, they better get back in touch. Otherwise, I'll go elsewhere.

Stugots26 said:

Dude, stop being a b1tch and baiting me. I'm not wondering. I'm citing field reports.

Call BS until you're blue in the face. I don't really give a fvck what you think. I'm just stating what my experience is and what my attitude is.

Do not tell me that I should be doing more when women REACHED OUT TO ME, and I respond, and hear nothing back. Attention wh0ring and game playing. That's a slippery slope to giving up my frame. Let some other beta play that role. It won't end well for them.

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If these girls are hitting you up but then not going out with you and this happens more than once, yes they may be attention wh0ring but could it possibly be something to do with you? I'd just say maybe try a different approach the next time it happens and see what results you get. Then come on here post your results and we all learn. We're all here to get better so you may as well try something different.

Nothing to do with me.

I'm not changing that approach. I'm not texting them back.

They each have multiple platforms on which to contact me.

I'm not under some illusion of action.

I just don't care all that much. Their pvssies do not cure cancer, and they're not all that special. I'll still spend my weekends busy with other women.

You have to hit the ball over the net and wait for them to hit it back. If they're not willing to show up and play the game, then fine. Ball's in their court. I'm not hungry.

No forward movement on my part after I respond will do anything to motivate them any further. I don't have the time or the inclination to do anything other than find out when they're free and try to make a date. If they don't like it, they'll miss out. When they're tired of the beta orbiters, maybe they'll relent. But until THEY RELENT TO MY FRAME, they've eliminated themselves from competition.

Stugots26 said:

No forward movement on my part after I respond will do anything to motivate them any further. I don't have the time or the inclination to do anything other than find out when they're free and try to make a date. If they don't like it, they'll miss out. When they're tired of the beta orbiters, maybe they'll relent. But until THEY RELENT TO MY FRAME, they've eliminated themselves from competition.

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Yeah, but would you play it exactly the same way next time? I actually agree with your approach, the comments I made were for when this happens in the future because that kind crap used to really piss me off

If it happens in the future, it happens in the future. There's nothing I can do to control the outcome. Betas will try to control the outcome - I shrug my shoulders and know what they're missing out on.

They're probably jaded from past experiences with beta dudes and are testing me as a result of their past experiences. Who knows, who cares? That's their own issues.

Stugots26 said:

If it happens in the future, it happens in the future. There's nothing I can do to control the outcome. Betas will try to control the outcome

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You can manipulate the outcome, the proof is in the pudding. Otherwise no one would ever get any better at this.

Then good luck and godspeed. Go do as you will.

I let them come to me. Anything less in unacceptable.

When you've got at least one other woman putting you on a pedestal and treating you like a god, your standards for treatment escalate and you stop working so hard.

lets try to get this discussion back on track lol

can anyone recommend a good starting message to increase the odds of a response

i know every situation will be different but try to make your own situation up and how you will reply as a starting step

thanks

This is the point i was trying to make in my initial post 90% of the numbers you get should be from the field so from the moment you open your mouth to speak to her you begin to set the tone of the frame between you both

if you’re only getting them from dating sites and social media you’re a lazy fvck

Heres an example.....

I am in the gym and see 2 lovely looking HB 8’s working out together

I can either walk up and say “hi my names bingo what’s yours” .....( boring and scripted chat I’ve already lost they’re interest and my attraction is dying)

OR

I can swagger over and say something like “hey do you want me to show you how to those squats properly or what !?! *big ****y grin*”......(funny ****y and confident interest is raised frame is set correctly)

Once you’ve ejected from the interaction with her number she will be expecting something funny so you can get away with a lot

I would then later text something like “hey you know i offer 1 – 1 personal training sessions on XXX at XXX ...RIGHT ?”

MR WRIGHT is RIGHT a boring text saying “hey what you up to” isn’t going to get you the results you want unless her interest is through the roof

For starters: I have found that, for me, the most effective way to get a date from a girl is to CALL them, not text. Furthermore, based on my own independent research and interviewing women of various ages (I do rideshare driving in my spare time, so I run across a LOT of women in my car with their girlfriends talking about guys that are going after them), the general consensus I've gotten from women is that they only like texting two kinds of guys in their lives: the ones that they're keeping in the "friend zone" or guys they're in a relationship with - and even then, if their boyfriends are texting them too much, they start to get annoyed by it because he comes across as a "beta" who can't seem to go a minute without her attention.

During the dating phase, however, most girls aren't needing for a guy to be constantly hitting them up via text, and it has actually proven to be a turn-off. I've already done several posts about the image girls get in their head when a guy is always available to text them, so I won't reiterate the point here. The point is, regardless of their age (again, I've talked to girls ranging from 15 to 40+), panties aren't exactly getting wet when women read your texts.

Anyway, enough of the anti-texting rant - @Stugots26, in response to the whole "let me know when you're free" argument... there are many parallels between dating and sales, one of which being that giving someone an option of unlimited choice or too many options can result in said person either not responding to you or making a choice with the options given. Here's a link I found with a study about what happens when sales people give potential clients too many options:


Are You Losing Sales By Giving Customers Too Many Choices?

Here's a highlight from the article:

Sheena Iyengar from Columbia University set up a table laden with jams outside of an upscale grocery store in Menlo Park, CA. Over a period of two consecutive Saturdays, research assistants dressed up as store employees and offered samples of either 6 or 24 flavors of Wilkin and Sons Jams, a British jelly purveyor known for exotic flavors.

Prior to this study, the common marketing theory was that more choices are better for customers. People like more options, so providing more flavors should lead to more sales.

The results from this study proved otherwise.

During the time periods when 24 flavors were offered, 60% of people stopped to sample the jams, compared to 40% when only 6 flavors were offered. These numbers seem in favor of more choices, but the important question is this: which group purchased more?

Of the customers who sampled 24 flavors, only 3% purchased, but of the customers who sampled 6, 30% did the same.

If you run those numbers based on 100 people, 60 would stop when 24 flavors were offered, but less than 2 purchase (1.8 to be exact). When 6 flavors were sampled, 40 stopped at the table, and 12 purchased.

Which table would you want your products to be on?

As you can see, there’s a paradox: contrary to popular belief, too many choices can be bad for sales. Just like in my experience at the gelato shop, customers can be attracted to a large number of choices, but when it comes time to make a purchase, too many options can make decision making difficult and lead to fewer sales.

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What does this have to do with dating? When you tell a girl "let me know when you're free next week," you're basically saying to her "choose any of the 7 days next week that you'd like to go out" - a choice that may prove to be subconsciously overwhelming for her to make. On the other hand, when you narrow down her choice for her - "hey, I'm free to take you out next Tuesday or Thursday, let me know which one works for you" - she only has to make a choice between two things, and is more likely to actually choose one of the 2 days being offered vs. when you're asking her to choose between 7 days.

Even if she came to you... again, if we're comparing this to sales, I used to sell high-priced knives, and I'd have the occasional person hit me up like "Hey, I heard about these knives and would love to see an in-home presentation." GREAT! However, I couldn't get to the end of the presentation and say, "so, go ahead and choose any of these knives you'd like to get." There were well over 45 different knives to choose from, so were I to just ask them to choose one, you know what would happen? That's right - NO SALE. But, if instead I went "So, now that you've seen the knives, we have Set A here for $800 and Set B here for $600 - which one of these two things I'm asking you to choose between would you prefer?" The result? Well... let's just say I sold $12,000 worth of knives because more people would end up choosing one of the two options. Keep in mind, they still had the option of buying the knives individually, but again - by presenting options to them, they didn't have to spend their brain power overthinking about which knives to choose from, which would have resulted in me getting NO sale at all. So, just because they're hitting you up doesn't mean you've got the date - it means you have their INTEREST, but asking them out in the wrong way can still end up with them not going out with you as a result of giving them too many options of days.

Anyway... just thought I'd add something new to the argument. It may not change your mind, but it's something to be considered.

Harry Wilmington said:

there are many parallels between dating and sales, one of which being that giving someone an option of unlimited choice or too many options can result in said person either not responding to you or making a choice with the options given.

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This is really kind of skirting the issue of my post. The fact of the matter is that when a woman whom I ALREADY KNOW takes the time to reach out and start messaging ME be it by fb, LinkedIn, or text, I'm going to assume that she wants to see me and try to find out her availability to make a date. All due respect to Harry Wilmington's preference for phone, the girl has already chosen the medium of communication, so while I've got her there, I'll go for the date.

By doing it this way, rather than giving her a very limited choice, it prevents any possibility of her not being available during the limited window I give her and gets us to a free night very quickly. Perhaps I'm losing out on some options by those who don't respond well to that question, but I like the odds. Besides, the last two I used it on each gave me two nights each anyway. It also psychologically has them putting themselves in the position of opening up their schedules to me, and allowing ME to choose when I can meet them.

If she's actually interested, she'll help me by letting me know when she's free. If not, or if she's playing games, she won't respond. Either way, I win, because I can easily get rid of the girls playing games, and get to go out with the women who relent to my frame.

As an update, I'll let you know that one of the two responded after twenty-four hours letting me know her availability and apologizing for the "delayed response." Total $hit test aced.