Well guys I'm back, and after almost 1.25 years its over. The older members will probably remember me, I had asked about advice for how to handle my gf with BPD and now things have finally come crashing down to an end. Heres a link to the old post if anyway wants to review it.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=80167
For those who don't know Borderline Personality Disorder is a disorder which turns what a normally insane women would be into a psychotic wreak. However these women seem attractive and normal at first, often creating strong attractions that make you wonder how you got so lucky to be with such a women it errodes over time, they are like chomeleons, they blend and bend to your every whim at first, making them seem perfect, and slowly over time it errodes to show they're true mutually destructive personality. They are very corrupting and deceieving. They lie, they cheat, they abuse, not at first, but after enough time that you excuse little thing after little thing, and rationalize. Borderlines should be avoided at all costs.
Now to those of you that are curious as to the circustances here they are. Almost 6 weeks ago now we had moved in together. It was bad timing though, because we only had time to move everything in and no time to unpack before I left for Alaska for a commercial fishing job. I spent 5 weeks up there fishing sockeye salmon, and while I did this (making money to help pay our rent) she was supposed to unpack and get the appartment ready for me to come back. For the first 3 weeks we talked every day for at least a couple hours a day (ate up the phone card pretty quick, but I recharged it) until we went out into the bay where I didn't have acess to phones. During this time she told me she was hanging out with an ex male coworker of mine and some guy she met into the apparment complex (which she told me she had feelings about niether). A few days before I was before I was supposed to come back home she told me that she was going to Escanaba with my coworker to hang out. After this I have been unable to get a hold of her, I can only assume shes still in Esky with him.
So I come home, after 5 weeks of hard work, and 4,500 miles of traveling and go back to our appartment. Now let me tell you, I left it a mess, everything was in boxes scattered around the appartment. Now let me tell you when I got back it was TRASHED, **** was everywhere, it looked like she unpacked boxes and took out stuff she needed and left everything else around the boxes. There were dirty dishes everywhere, she actually put dirty dishes back into the cupboards instead of into the dishwasher(WTF?). Her room was an absolute (well still is) disaster with not one sqaure inch of carpet showing (her room is little with clothes and all her other random ****) and her bed was covered too. I was absolutely shocked at the condition of the appartment. And throughout the five weeks the landlord was trying to get a repair man in to fix a window that was broke when we moved in. The place was such a mess that he couldnt get in to do it. Sooooo, the landlord deemed the place a health hazard (which it was) and set an eviction date. I'm glad because this gets me out of living with her, even if it is by eviction.
Luckily the only thing of mine she took to escanaba was my digital camera (which I would like to get back but if not no huge deal) and didn't take my laptop. The laptop told me a lot. As I sat down next to the laptop I noticed several things. Empty diet pill boxes, crushed cigarrettes in ash trays. I thought ****, she told me she wasnt smoking in the appt and she wasn't having problems with her past eating disorders. On my laptop there were at least 10,000 pictures of anorexic girls and several word documents worshipping the girl Ana, the personification of anorexia. She had also left up a website to some iphotobucket thing where she had made an account called AnIgnorantSlut or something like that where she took pictures of herself topless or of her in her langerie with our newly adopted kitten and posted them on the internet. After I saw this I decided that it was over, before I was mulling over it.
So my next step was to actually look at her internet history which she hadnt deleted over the month I lent her my laptop. In here I found a link to a livejournal she had made. My internet wasn't working at the time so I had to go 'work offline' to get to it (which was the best thing I could have done, or else I would not have been able to acess it at all, because it is friends only, and if I was online it would have just sent me to the you must be a friend page). It turned out to be about her sexuality and her sexual exploits. In there I read about some of her past sexual encounters (which she had told me mostly about) and a couple new developments I didn't know about. Turns out that the guy she met in the appartment complex had her over and she ended up going to bed with him where they kissed and talked all night, and when she asked if he had a rubber he said yes but he didn't want to go that far, and they just ended up going to sleep together. Also she admitted to liking my ex coworker who made hints at liking her back and she said only an extreme act of will kept her from having sex with him at the time. I can only assume that shes been sleeping with him in Escanaba now.
Oh I also forgot to mention that both bathroom sinks had vomit in them (I can only assume from times she binged and ate and then puked it back up) one of which had which had blood stains in the vomit. Also we had a rabbit which she had put in the walk in closet and left there. When I got back its littlebox was overflowing, had no food, very little water and was scared to all hell. The cage was open so it was running around all over the place and was rather hard to catch lol. I then went and quickly bought new food, litter and bedding for the bunnys cage, and changed it all so that the bunny wasn't living in worse than 3rd world country living conditions. Let me tell you though, I was amazed at how much a few minutes of loving care did to calm that bunny down.
So after all this I had made a decison as what to do. I spent all night (I had gotten back around 10pm) packing up and cleaning up all my stuff. I got done with this around 6:15am, it was a very long night, at first I tried cleaning up some of the appartment too but after 3 garbage bags full I just said screw it and decided to just clean up my stuff. So I called my parents at 6:30 and asked them if it was ok if I moved back into their place for a little while, and they said I could. So now I'm living at my parents, with my stuff in their garage, waiting for her to get back so we can discuss what shes going to do with all her stuff and the pending eviction (she has no car, or friends and family in the area, aside from the one she cheated on with me anyway). Also so I can actually break up with her, I already took her off my facebook realtionship status and anything else I could changed that showed I was with her. So now I'm back, as one of the sosuavers asked me to come back when it all blew up like he, and many others predicted.
So let this be a warning to members old and new to be careful of the mental condition of all and any girls you choose to associate. This is a lesson I learned all too hard. Theres so many girls out there theres no reason to date any girls of less than sane quality. So yeah, I'm back, if only a little worse for the wear.
Oh and I apologize to all those memebers advice I ignored.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=80167
For those who don't know Borderline Personality Disorder is a disorder which turns what a normally insane women would be into a psychotic wreak. However these women seem attractive and normal at first, often creating strong attractions that make you wonder how you got so lucky to be with such a women it errodes over time, they are like chomeleons, they blend and bend to your every whim at first, making them seem perfect, and slowly over time it errodes to show they're true mutually destructive personality. They are very corrupting and deceieving. They lie, they cheat, they abuse, not at first, but after enough time that you excuse little thing after little thing, and rationalize. Borderlines should be avoided at all costs.
Now to those of you that are curious as to the circustances here they are. Almost 6 weeks ago now we had moved in together. It was bad timing though, because we only had time to move everything in and no time to unpack before I left for Alaska for a commercial fishing job. I spent 5 weeks up there fishing sockeye salmon, and while I did this (making money to help pay our rent) she was supposed to unpack and get the appartment ready for me to come back. For the first 3 weeks we talked every day for at least a couple hours a day (ate up the phone card pretty quick, but I recharged it) until we went out into the bay where I didn't have acess to phones. During this time she told me she was hanging out with an ex male coworker of mine and some guy she met into the apparment complex (which she told me she had feelings about niether). A few days before I was before I was supposed to come back home she told me that she was going to Escanaba with my coworker to hang out. After this I have been unable to get a hold of her, I can only assume shes still in Esky with him.
So I come home, after 5 weeks of hard work, and 4,500 miles of traveling and go back to our appartment. Now let me tell you, I left it a mess, everything was in boxes scattered around the appartment. Now let me tell you when I got back it was TRASHED, **** was everywhere, it looked like she unpacked boxes and took out stuff she needed and left everything else around the boxes. There were dirty dishes everywhere, she actually put dirty dishes back into the cupboards instead of into the dishwasher(WTF?). Her room was an absolute (well still is) disaster with not one sqaure inch of carpet showing (her room is little with clothes and all her other random ****) and her bed was covered too. I was absolutely shocked at the condition of the appartment. And throughout the five weeks the landlord was trying to get a repair man in to fix a window that was broke when we moved in. The place was such a mess that he couldnt get in to do it. Sooooo, the landlord deemed the place a health hazard (which it was) and set an eviction date. I'm glad because this gets me out of living with her, even if it is by eviction.
Luckily the only thing of mine she took to escanaba was my digital camera (which I would like to get back but if not no huge deal) and didn't take my laptop. The laptop told me a lot. As I sat down next to the laptop I noticed several things. Empty diet pill boxes, crushed cigarrettes in ash trays. I thought ****, she told me she wasnt smoking in the appt and she wasn't having problems with her past eating disorders. On my laptop there were at least 10,000 pictures of anorexic girls and several word documents worshipping the girl Ana, the personification of anorexia. She had also left up a website to some iphotobucket thing where she had made an account called AnIgnorantSlut or something like that where she took pictures of herself topless or of her in her langerie with our newly adopted kitten and posted them on the internet. After I saw this I decided that it was over, before I was mulling over it.
So my next step was to actually look at her internet history which she hadnt deleted over the month I lent her my laptop. In here I found a link to a livejournal she had made. My internet wasn't working at the time so I had to go 'work offline' to get to it (which was the best thing I could have done, or else I would not have been able to acess it at all, because it is friends only, and if I was online it would have just sent me to the you must be a friend page). It turned out to be about her sexuality and her sexual exploits. In there I read about some of her past sexual encounters (which she had told me mostly about) and a couple new developments I didn't know about. Turns out that the guy she met in the appartment complex had her over and she ended up going to bed with him where they kissed and talked all night, and when she asked if he had a rubber he said yes but he didn't want to go that far, and they just ended up going to sleep together. Also she admitted to liking my ex coworker who made hints at liking her back and she said only an extreme act of will kept her from having sex with him at the time. I can only assume that shes been sleeping with him in Escanaba now.
Oh I also forgot to mention that both bathroom sinks had vomit in them (I can only assume from times she binged and ate and then puked it back up) one of which had which had blood stains in the vomit. Also we had a rabbit which she had put in the walk in closet and left there. When I got back its littlebox was overflowing, had no food, very little water and was scared to all hell. The cage was open so it was running around all over the place and was rather hard to catch lol. I then went and quickly bought new food, litter and bedding for the bunnys cage, and changed it all so that the bunny wasn't living in worse than 3rd world country living conditions. Let me tell you though, I was amazed at how much a few minutes of loving care did to calm that bunny down.
So after all this I had made a decison as what to do. I spent all night (I had gotten back around 10pm) packing up and cleaning up all my stuff. I got done with this around 6:15am, it was a very long night, at first I tried cleaning up some of the appartment too but after 3 garbage bags full I just said screw it and decided to just clean up my stuff. So I called my parents at 6:30 and asked them if it was ok if I moved back into their place for a little while, and they said I could. So now I'm living at my parents, with my stuff in their garage, waiting for her to get back so we can discuss what shes going to do with all her stuff and the pending eviction (she has no car, or friends and family in the area, aside from the one she cheated on with me anyway). Also so I can actually break up with her, I already took her off my facebook realtionship status and anything else I could changed that showed I was with her. So now I'm back, as one of the sosuavers asked me to come back when it all blew up like he, and many others predicted.
So let this be a warning to members old and new to be careful of the mental condition of all and any girls you choose to associate. This is a lesson I learned all too hard. Theres so many girls out there theres no reason to date any girls of less than sane quality. So yeah, I'm back, if only a little worse for the wear.
Oh and I apologize to all those memebers advice I ignored.
