Diaforetikos' DJ Journal

I decided, after reading all those journals and finally getting a basic understanding for all this jazz, that its time for me to get into the field and stop being a punk. I will also be posting any revelations that come across my mind as well so you can see my thought process.

-Long Term Goals-
1) Gain total confidence and let it become my lifestyle.
2) Learn to think outside my head.
3) Learn to make women a part of my life and not my focus.

-Short Term Goals-
1) Have fun and not worrying about the outcome.
2) Actually approach when my mind says no.
3) Follow through with my approaching days.


-Where I'm at now-
-I am pretty confident when it comes to talking to people about whatever, so no worries there.
-Gotta be more sexual while being comfortable with it.
-Kino more. Period.
-Approach when my mind thinks otherwise.
-Haven't even tried closing, which is a must.

The past few weeks.

Just posting how my last few interactions went so you guys get an idea where I'm at. Since these are a couple of weeks old, they are gonna be very vague, cuz I don't remember much.

A few weeks ago, my friends friend started commenting on a lot of stuff that I posted on facebook. I'll call her HBsmj. I could tell she was interested in me, because she was commenting on every other thing I would post. Just a warning, I did fudge this one up, but I'm just posting it anyways.

I then decided to message her, like the little dumb AFC I was. (I have learned a lot in the past few weeks, so I know better now.) I told her I wanted her to come to denny's with us earlier that night, but I didn't have her number. She said she would have totally come. She tossed me her number. I texted her some random flirtatious crap. She loved it. A few days later, my friend that introduced me to her asked if we wanted to go to this church thing. I said yea, and he told me to invite HBsmj. I did, and she said yea after I convinced her to come. She was afraid of churches. Haha.

The Trip
We go, and this is where it goes downhill. Were flirting. I kino here and there, but I'm sitting up front with my friend, and shes sitting in the back. I give her too much attention and she loses interest. The ride was 2 hours long both ways. The trip back sucked, but oh well. I just beat myself up the whole time. Thats when I realized I needed to work on my inner game.

Also, a couple things that made her lose interest was that she liked my friend, the one who introduced us, but he saw her as a friend. On the trip, I could tell she was still attracted to him. He turned her down a few weeks before the trip, so she wasn't over him. Bad timing for me.

I really liked her, because shes all about self improvement, shes hecka random (like me), and wants to help people for a living. But realize I said liked. Past tense. I'm over her. Just another experience.

Sorry for it being so long. And sorry for it being so vague. My next one won't be like this.

Most Recent

I was at work. A girl comes in, and shes pretty cute. I'd say about a HB7.5 in my books. Thick in all the right places. Haha. Anyways, she comes in, and I planned on doing an approach on her but i b****ed out. She couldn't find what she was looking for, so she decides to come up and ask for help.

Since I work in retail, I'm naturally talkative and cool. I can carry conversations, no problem. And even when hot women come in, I treat them like every other customer. I don't freeze up or any of that bull. I'm actually pretty confident when I'm working.

Anyways, we fluff talk and I try to help her the best I can. Then I ask her how her day was going.

Dia: How's your day goin so far?
HB: Its ok. And yours?
Dia: I'm not gonna lie, I'm hecka tired. haha. And your day is just ok? Not great or fantastic?

*she laughs
HB: No, just ok.
Dia: Did you have to work today, or school?
HB: Just school. Its annoying and boring.
Dia: Whats your major?
HB: CSI. I'm taking a computer programming class.
Dia: That is so boring. I taught myself how to do it. Its tedious. Your gonna hate it.

*she smiles
HB: Thanks for telling me that. Now I will hate it.
Dia: Haha. I'm just tellin you the truth.
HB: You taught yourself?
Dia: Yea, it got boring. I decided to drop it and get into computer building itself. I taught myself that too.
HB: Really?! Thats crazy. My dad does that.

*This is when she started opening up. Her expressions are small IoI's.
Dia: Hes into comps?
HB: Yea, hes an engineer.

I basic fluff talk about school and her dad. Its hard to talk more direct when I'm at work because I'm under a time constraint, and I have to constantly watch what I say so I don't offend anyone. But this is just an excuse...

Convo continues on to work...

Dia: So where do you work?
HB: Sears
*Sears is next to my store. I know more than half the staff there.

Dia: Oh really, so then you must know my friend ***.
HB: Yeah, I know ***. Hes cool.
Dia: Yeah, thats my homeboy. His brother works here, hes right over there. I'm surprised I haven't seen you. I know tons of people who work at Sears.
HB: I'm surprised I haven't seen you there either.

As you can see, I'm just talking basic crap that shouldn't attract anyone. Then again, when she found out that her dad and I had something in common, she lit up. The conversation continued. She ejected and stared back at me as she left while she was on her phone.




Then the next day, I go on facebook and see that she added me. I'm like, uh, did it work? Haha. Then I go to my friends house, the one that knows the HB7.5, and I try to help him with his new phone. Anyways, were start talking and he says

Friend: Oh yea, my coworker was asking about you.
Dia: Haha, for reals, which one?
Friend: HB7.5. She was asking hecka questions, and then she wanted me to ask you if your single.
Dia: Haha, yea, I'm single. You know that retard.
Friend: Haha, I know. But she wanted me to ask.
Dia: She randomly added me on facebook today.
Friend: She added me yesterday!
Dia: Haha



So she is interested in me, obviously. So yesterday, I get a message from her on facebook saying:

"Look, I am normally shy and that is why I havent said anything to you in person. But, there is something about you that interests me, like your personality. Thats all, just wanted to let you know. "

*I run with it. And this is how our convo goes...

Me: Thank you! Theres no need to be shy about giving compliments. Just think of how you can change someones day just by giving them a compliment. You just made mine. Your pretty cool. We should hangout sometime. Whats your number?
Her: my number is 7**-***-****, and yeah shoot me a txt anytime.
Me: Anytime, huh... Watch, I'm gonna send you a text at 4am. =P
Her: Lol, okay....but I will be sleep and I sleep with my phone on silent. So how bout this, you will get a text back between the hours of 9am-11pm....lol
Me: 9am-11pm? Uh uh, that doesn't work for me. Were gonna have to get a divorce. I want full custody of the kids. You can keep the dog and the DVD player. Lol
Her: Yes, those are the hours because I need my beauty sleep!!!! We share equal custody of the kids, and as long as the dog is tiny and you can have the DVD player because I am rolling with the BLU RAY!!!!

*i then transfer over to text.
Me I don't know about you, but I'm not a big fan of talking through messages on facebook, so this is me, fixing that problem. Oh, and we can share custody, but you have to cook me dinner every night, while I'm out picking up women. =p haha
Her: Lol, i dont think so. My cooking alone is enough to keep u home!
Me: Oooo, a girl who can cook. I like that. Too bad were getting a divorce.
Her: Watever. U will change ur mind! I warned u, im not getting a divorce after being married.
Me: Haha. Were gonna be one fiesty couple. But that just means good sex. I wanna see what you would do to change my mind. I'm pretty stubborn, so good luck.
Her: Im a scorpio...nuff said!
Me: And I'm a Diaforetikos. So your gonna have to try a little harder cutie. lol
Her: Well, u dont know my stubborness yet. I gets my way...lol.
Me: Haha. Your cute. Sorry to cut our fun short, but I have to get back to my art studies. Keep in touch.
Her: Its cool im bout to hop in the shower n go to bed. Txt me anytime tho.
Me: I'll keep that in mind the next time I wanna have some fun.


That was a pretty fun text. I didn't text her today. I'm gonna call her tomorrow, seeing as how its not good to text. I'm off tomorrow, so I'm gonna find out her schedule for the day and see if she wants to meet up for idk what yet. But I'll figure out something. And if shes busy during the day, I was thinking of taking her with my friends out to Berkley. We'll see what happens. If its a no go on those, I'm going out sarging with my brother and my friend Nocturnalist.

Laters.

Update from previous post

So I got a date with her setup for Wednesday. But there is one problem...

I don't care anymore. I like being single. I like not having to care about someone else. Call me selfish, I don't care. It's so much extra crap added to my life that I don't need. I'm gonna go on that date with this girl because I hate flaking. But I don't have an ambition for women anymore. I still want to get better at DJ'ing though.

So the question is do I keep practicing for the sake of practicing or do I stop until I feel like I want a women in my life?

Diaforetikos said:

I was at work. A girl comes in, and shes pretty cute. I'd say about a HB7.5 in my books. Thick in all the right places. Haha. Anyways, she comes in, and I planned on doing an approach on her but i b****ed out. She couldn't find what she was looking for, so she decides to come up and ask for help.

Since I work in retail, I'm naturally talkative and cool. I can carry conversations, no problem. And even when hot women come in, I treat them like every other customer. I don't freeze up or any of that bull. I'm actually pretty confident when I'm working.

Anyways, we fluff talk and I try to help her the best I can. Then I ask her how her day was going.

Dia: How's your day goin so far?
HB: Its ok. And yours?
Dia: I'm not gonna lie, I'm hecka tired. haha. And your day is just ok? Not great or fantastic?

*she laughs
HB: No, just ok.
Dia: Did you have to work today, or school?
HB: Just school. Its annoying and boring.
Dia: Whats your major?
HB: CSI. I'm taking a computer programming class.
Dia: That is so boring. I taught myself how to do it. Its tedious. Your gonna hate it.

*she smiles
HB: Thanks for telling me that. Now I will hate it.
Dia: Haha. I'm just tellin you the truth.
HB: You taught yourself?
Dia: Yea, it got boring. I decided to drop it and get into computer building itself. I taught myself that too.
HB: Really?! Thats crazy. My dad does that.

*This is when she started opening up. Her expressions are small IoI's.
Dia: Hes into comps?
HB: Yea, hes an engineer.

I basic fluff talk about school and her dad. Its hard to talk more direct when I'm at work because I'm under a time constraint, and I have to constantly watch what I say so I don't offend anyone. But this is just an excuse...

Convo continues on to work...

Dia: So where do you work?
HB: Sears
*Sears is next to my store. I know more than half the staff there.

Dia: Oh really, so then you must know my friend ***.
HB: Yeah, I know ***. Hes cool.
Dia: Yeah, thats my homeboy. His brother works here, hes right over there. I'm surprised I haven't seen you. I know tons of people who work at Sears.
HB: I'm surprised I haven't seen you there either.

As you can see, I'm just talking basic crap that shouldn't attract anyone. Then again, when she found out that her dad and I had something in common, she lit up. The conversation continued. She ejected and stared back at me as she left while she was on her phone.




Then the next day, I go on facebook and see that she added me. I'm like, uh, did it work? Haha. Then I go to my friends house, the one that knows the HB7.5, and I try to help him with his new phone. Anyways, were start talking and he says

Friend: Oh yea, my coworker was asking about you.
Dia: Haha, for reals, which one?
Friend: HB7.5. She was asking hecka questions, and then she wanted me to ask you if your single.
Dia: Haha, yea, I'm single. You know that retard.
Friend: Haha, I know. But she wanted me to ask.
Dia: She randomly added me on facebook today.
Friend: She added me yesterday!
Dia: Haha



So she is interested in me, obviously. So yesterday, I get a message from her on facebook saying:

"Look, I am normally shy and that is why I havent said anything to you in person. But, there is something about you that interests me, like your personality. Thats all, just wanted to let you know. "

*I run with it. And this is how our convo goes...

Me: Thank you! Theres no need to be shy about giving compliments. Just think of how you can change someones day just by giving them a compliment. You just made mine. Your pretty cool. We should hangout sometime. Whats your number?
Her: my number is 7**-***-****, and yeah shoot me a txt anytime.
Me: Anytime, huh... Watch, I'm gonna send you a text at 4am. =P
Her: Lol, okay....but I will be sleep and I sleep with my phone on silent. So how bout this, you will get a text back between the hours of 9am-11pm....lol
Me: 9am-11pm? Uh uh, that doesn't work for me. Were gonna have to get a divorce. I want full custody of the kids. You can keep the dog and the DVD player. Lol
Her: Yes, those are the hours because I need my beauty sleep!!!! We share equal custody of the kids, and as long as the dog is tiny and you can have the DVD player because I am rolling with the BLU RAY!!!!

*i then transfer over to text.
Me I don't know about you, but I'm not a big fan of talking through messages on facebook, so this is me, fixing that problem. Oh, and we can share custody, but you have to cook me dinner every night, while I'm out picking up women. =p haha
Her: Lol, i dont think so. My cooking alone is enough to keep u home!
Me: Oooo, a girl who can cook. I like that. Too bad were getting a divorce.
Her: Watever. U will change ur mind! I warned u, im not getting a divorce after being married.
Me: Haha. Were gonna be one fiesty couple. But that just means good sex. I wanna see what you would do to change my mind. I'm pretty stubborn, so good luck.
Her: Im a scorpio...nuff said!
Me: And I'm a Diaforetikos. So your gonna have to try a little harder cutie. lol
Her: Well, u dont know my stubborness yet. I gets my way...lol.
Me: Haha. Your cute. Sorry to cut our fun short, but I have to get back to my art studies. Keep in touch.
Her: Its cool im bout to hop in the shower n go to bed. Txt me anytime tho.
Me: I'll keep that in mind the next time I wanna have some fun.


That was a pretty fun text. I didn't text her today. I'm gonna call her tomorrow, seeing as how its not good to text. I'm off tomorrow, so I'm gonna find out her schedule for the day and see if she wants to meet up for idk what yet. But I'll figure out something. And if shes busy during the day, I was thinking of taking her with my friends out to Berkley. We'll see what happens. If its a no go on those, I'm going out sarging with my brother and my friend Nocturnalist.

Laters.

Click to expand...

+1 rep.



Dude,this is freakin' EXCELLENT,I mean darn near flawless.


If I had to rate this on a scale of 1 to 10,I'd give it a 9+. The beginning seems a little dry,but you steered it in the right direction.



There has been a couple of threads on the board lately about guys saying that the quality of this forum has gone down,but it's post like these that should let members know if you apply yourself and listen to sound advice,you'll became a better man.....and get the girl.



I say that not because of the interaction you posted here with this girl,but because of how you've grown since you've arrived here.




I went back and looked at a thread you made ONE MONTH AGO and compared it to this post here,and the difference is ASTOUNDING.




A month ago,just one month ago,you were being subserviant to girls....running errands for them,offering to go get them drinks,getting them discounts,and now you seem almost like a different person.


You even had the knowledge to know not to text too much,and to move on to phonecalls.



There are people who've been here 4+ years who still don't understand the basics you've picked up in just the last 30 days.



Impressive dude. HIGHLY IMPRESSIVE.



I remember in your thread called,"I saw the IOI,now what?" where you said that you wanted to learn,and you told us to "dog you",so we let you have it.

Looks like you took everything we said to heart. And the proof of that is shown in your interactions with girls.



Good going man.

Hahaha. Thanks guys. It shows that I'm headed in the right direction.

I have a lot of customer service experience, so it didn't take me long to get use to talking to people. I just had to work on my mindset, which was pretty easy as well. I'm constantly changing how I think, for the better, so this came with ease. I learned how to talk to people and change my mindset from a network marketing business I was in. You had to always think positive and learn to put others before yourself.

Don't start thinking I'm a beast yet. I haven't had a date yet and I haven't had too many approaches outside of work. I still am learning how to be sexual and learn how to attract with ease. I'm getting better at kino. Having C+F is easy because I'm outgoing and funny naturally, and I tend to speak my mind. Learning to transition from attraction to comfort is a hazy area as well.

Learning is actually really easy. Applying it takes a lit more effort. But work is never a breeze. I learn faster by observation, so I read a lot of journals and internalize as much as I can. I retain a lot of information so I know what to do and what not to do. I am surprised how natural it comes though. Like it's been established already.

All in all, I have tons to learn. A lot more experience to gain, and a wife to find. Until then, I'll be here.

Thanks again guys. It means a lot.

Diaforetikos said:

Hahaha. Thanks guys. It shows that I'm headed in the right direction.

I have a lot of customer service experience, so it didn't take me long to get use to talking to people. I just had to work on my mindset, which was pretty easy as well. I'm constantly changing how I think, for the better, so this came with ease. I learned how to talk to people and change my mindset from a network marketing business I was in. You had to always think positive and learn to put others before yourself.

Don't start thinking I'm a beast yet. I haven't had a date yet and I haven't had too many approaches outside of work. I still am learning how to be sexual and learn how to attract with ease. I'm getting better at kino. Having C+F is easy because I'm outgoing and funny naturally, and I tend to speak my mind. Learning to transition from attraction to comfort is a hazy area as well.

Learning is actually really easy. Applying it takes a lit more effort. But work is never a breeze. I learn faster by observation, so I read a lot of journals and internalize as much as I can. I retain a lot of information so I know what to do and what not to do. I am surprised how natural it comes though. Like it's been established already.

All in all, I have tons to learn. A lot more experience to gain, and a wife to find. Until then, I'll be here.

Thanks again guys. It means a lot.

Click to expand...

your doing great, and i thought i was doing decent.Being single = Power.time to step up my game,and im intrigued allthe sha bang.last but not least motivated.Great Journal

Nice work! Newbies, let this be a lesson. If you will take the knowlege and sound advice found here, like the OP and myself, and apply it to your life/ game, you can learn to be successful very quickly!

Day1 and new mindest

Today I have that day1 with the girl from my last FR. Just gonna see how it goes. Not really feeling it as much as I should, but I'll just think of it as practice and just have fun. We rescheduled so much, that I lost a lot of interest, but its experience.

This isn't what I wanted to focus on today though...

I was talking with my best friend earlier today. He was the one who pretty much helped me change my thought process on life and people. Now I'm constantly striving to better myself. Hence, the reason why I'm on this forum.

Anyways, today he was talking about having business mindset and being successful. Most of the conversation was being referenced from Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. Anyways, he brought me back to what I wanted for my life. I have a renewed mindset along with DJing.

I'm gonna put my focus on 2 things (which it should have been the whole time, but I needed to learn as much DJing stuff as possible in a short amount of time). I'll be focusing back on art and becoming a life coach and also learning to make money work for me, not the other way around.

I have some plans on what I want to do, but for right now I just need to practice and learn as much as possible. I'm still young, so I have some time before I have to be a real official adult. I'm in the transition. Anyways, I'll still be doing my approaching thing, which by the way I know now that I officially suck at. I need tons more practice in this area. I just have some obstacles in my way. Dead end job. No money for school and rent, car, food. All I have is time. So I'm gonna be teaching myself a lot of stuff. School will come after I get some experience.

You'll be hearing more about this later on.

Approach Problems...

I noticed that I haven't gotten over my AA. I thought I did, but I didn't. I can talk to anyone at work because I have too. I'm fun, energetic and focus on entertaining myself first before focusing on if they're have a good time (which helps a lot. It takes away the focus from them and gets me outta my head).

I can talk to people that I have to talk to. Conversations are a breeze. But the initial approach is a problem for me. I'm so mad at myself for not realizing this right away and getting it taken care of, but hey, I'm learning. So I'm gonna be posting some approaches that I did. I'm not gonna be opening or anything yet, just talking to them. Once I can start talking to anyone at random about anything, then I'll start opening.

Here is one I did today so far. Will probably edit when I get home based on if I did any other approaches today...


I'm in line at Jack in the Box. Everyone in line is super quiet. This makes it hard for me to say anything because I start focusing on if others are listening. But today I said fvck it. I'm not gonna trip about it. I gotta start somewhere.

So I start looking for things to comment on to start a conversation. I was gonna ask if she was on lunch or break. Then I looked down and saw her wearing UGGs shoes. I asked her if they were comfortable. She laughs and says yea, I wear them everywhere. I say, "they look like it. I remember one time my manager came into work. She was wearing some. She said they were so comfortable that she forgot to take them off before work. Then she said these are fake though." The girl laughs and says mine are fake too. I said, "really? Are the real one expensive or something?" She said, I think so. My brother jumps in the conversation and mentions something about seeing a guy wear them.

Conversation continues. I ask her if she was on lunch or break. She says yea. I asked if she worked around the area. She says names her company, but I couldn't hear her. I asked her how long shes been working there and if she likes it. She said 3 months and she mentions that its boring. I said, "well thats why you have to make your own fun. She laughs and shakes her head. She says she doesn't know how since its a new job. I ask her what her previous job was. It was dental assistant. She said its super hard to find a job doing that.

It was her turn to order and the conversation ends.

As you can see, its not that hard to talk to people for me. I shoulda practiced my attraction skills, but got too focused on getting past the approach. I'll do it next time for sure. We'll see how the next one goes...

Update: Day2

Gonna clear up somethings with you guys really quick. First I noticed how unorganized my learning process is and will be cleaning it up. Second, I'm gonna try to change my writing format into more of a story form so it would be more entertaining to read and more fun for me to write.

Anyway, I have some new info on my day2 as well as a new chick/ex coworker who gave me a little present today.

As far as the day2 goes, the date was boring as was the girl. When I walked in, we were placed up against a wall in the back, with single seats placed on each side of the table, leaving me no chance to kino except for hand touching and the little game of footsies we played under the table.
    She just talked about her life and she kept asking about mine. No matter how many times I changed the subject, her mind would steer back to life drama, and her mouth would spit out questions pertaining to my history and family. Let's all spell it out together... B-O-R-I-N-G.
    She continually apologized whenever her feet would touch mine, like a girl who spilled orange soda on your new white button up. Annoying as hell.
    This whole interaction left little to desire. My mind floated back to my prior thoughts of how much I like being single, and how I could easily make the date more fun, but didn't care enough to take action.
    We hugged and parted was. I would later receive a text saying how much fun she had and how I was a cool dood, whatever that means. I responded by saying I know I'm cool, and your not bad yourself. Dry c+f if you would even consider that c+f.

    It was a waste of time. Whatever, you live, you learn, you die, so don't regret it. We made plans for a day3, but I'm most likely gonna flake. Besides, I got a lot of practice to do and a girl to take and make mine.

Excoworker PART I

Ex-CoWorker

    "Hold on a sec, let me answer this." I exclaim as I answer my phone in church.
    I was in the middle of a conversation about preaching, while sitting in a chair in a room for special needs kids. Across from me was a teenager named Trey. He had just been told that he was meant to be a preacher and was very excited about the new info he had received about his life. We were discussing how it felt to stand on a stage and preach while the girl you liked stared back at you. I was giving him a few pointers when I took the call.
    "Whats up?" I say after looking down on my phone to see who was calling. It was Amor, an old coworker that I had a crush on for the longest. She had to go to school in San Fran, so she had to quit. Our sexual history goes a little something like this...

    Infatuation grew deeper every time I saw her. I had a girlfriend then, but I didn't care because this girl was to beautiful to ignore.
    I knida knew she knew that I liked her, but she brushed it off. One time, she was excited that she passed her test in psychology, but no one cared, so I went and bought her some sh!t from Bath and Body Works. Super AFC move. That gave it away. She thanked me, hugged me, and that was all.
    After that every gesture turned her off. I would text her insane crap about how I knew she wanted to be with me. She was so pissed that she demanded that I never text her ever again. I stopped.
    We grew distant, until she decided to unofficially forgive me. We became very close again. As we worked together, I would use light kino on her and say dirty sh!t in her ear. (this is before I knew about being a DJ). It eased her over into a sexual state constantly, but she was constantly reminded by the fact that she had a bf.
    Thats as close as I got to being sexual before she left for college.

Excoworker PART II

    The holidays soon emerged from the depths of closets and boxes labeled 'xmas'. She called me and told me that she would be able to work the holidays since she would be on vacation. I grew excited as I mentally planned how I would win her over (still before I was aware of the secret lifestyles of being a DJ).
    As Christmas came and went, I soon found myself on my chair, tilted askew as I absorbed the basics of pickup. By now I would have already posted a few posts on this site and had received information that I was still a complete amatuer on the subject. So I went on my mental quest to learn the basics as fast as possible. While studying I received a phone call...
    "Diaaaaaa, I need help. I counted the drawers 4 times and I'm still over on the deposit. Can you come and help me?"
    I jumped at the opportunity to practice what I learned, so I gave her a quick yes and headed out to my car.
    "For someone as cute as you, you sure are dumb. You can't even count."
    She pouts and I laugh. I ask her to show me what she did. The whole time I'm chill, leaning back, trying to keep her in my frame. I'm sitting with my legs open, crotch towards her.
    I focus on the work at hand and try to get out of there as soon as possible, leaving silence in the atmosphere. I finish counting and continue teasing her on how dumb she is and how she owes me big time.
    We head to the front. I kino her frequently as she finishes up. I tease more and fluff talk.
    Time to leave, but wait, I didnt bring my keys to lock up shop. I head home to get them. When I come back is when our real interaction starts.
    She opens the mall doors for me. We lock eyes for 6 seconds. She smiles in a tired, yet sexy grin. She locks arms in mine and rests her head on my shoulders while stating that she is tired. I wrap my arms around her as we walk to our store. We say a few things and I lock up shop.
    We get to my car. She unexpectedly needs a ride home. We get in and she guides me to her house. As we approach her house I remind her that she owes me big time. She laughs and I triangle gaze her. I hug her for a long time. Our faces are touching in a romantic sense. I slide my head from her ear to the corner of her mouth. I slide in to kiss her and... I chicken out. I beat myself up the whole way home.

    That was the last time I saw her, a month ago. Talked to her recently though because it was her birthday. I don't have oneitis for her, just a past.
    "HEY!!" she says as I stand in the church's kids room. "Do you miss me?"
    "No." I say passively.
    "No?! You don't miss me?"
    "No. Why should I? Do you miss me?"
    "Yes, I do. Where are you at?
    "Thats not important cutie. Where are you at?"
    "I'm in bed in my apartment. Why wont you tell me where your at? You don't miss me?"
    I laugh. "Haha, no, I dont miss you. It's not important where I'm at. What you call for?"
    "Ooooo, mister secretive. I just miss you and haven't talked to you in a while."
    "I am a mystery. I was looking at my phone on Friday and noticed you didn't call me like you said you would."
    "Oooops. I'm sorry. I forgot. Well you didn't wish me a happy birthday."
    "Uh, yea, I did. I left you that inside joke on your Facebook."
    "Thats how you wish me a happy b-day?"
    "Yup. Haha. When are we gonna hangout?"
    "I dooooont knooooow. I have class tomorrow, but we can have lunch afterwards."
    "I don't wanna see you tomorrow. Friday!"
    "I'm hanging out with my boyfriend that day."
    "What a loser. What about Saturday night?"
    "I don't know. I don't think that far ahead."
    "Man your boring. Your cute, too bad you couldn't keep up with me."
    "Hey, I can keep up with you!"
    "Whatever, I'm about to go."
    "WAIT! Come over tomorrow! Or tuesday."
    "Why?"
    "Because I wanna see you."
    "Ok. What day? You choose. How about Tuesday?"
    "Either one works, but Tuesday is better. There isn't anyone around to both us."
    "Works for me. Alright, I'm gonna go."
    "Wait, your still not gonna tell me where your at?"
    "No. That's not important, now is it?"
    "Why you being all secretive?"
    "Haha, bye Amooooor." I say in a cute voice as I hang up.

    As you can see, she threw out some IOIs. I held the frame the whole time and she bought into it. I really hooked her with the not telling her my whereabouts thing. Also hanging up while still having fun was a big pull in my direction.

I'm gonna try my best to get the lay tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Wow, I haven't posted on this in a while... My bad...

So I'm just gonna reignite this thread by saying that I've learned a lot in this 2-3 month time gap. I'm giving advice to my friend who thinks he knows his sh!t about women and how to handle relationships. I have been learning from one of my friends who loves to speak his mind without hesitation. He gives no kinds of fvck about what he says. I LOVE IT! I am starting to flirt with all the girls that I'm attracted to that walk into my store. I am a lot more direct (thanks Igetit for leaving a great example for me). I am no where close to acting AFC like I use to, which is the only way I can describe how I use to act. And I've gotten plenty of numbers from some really boring women.

I wish I can say that I've been non stop approaching. My anxiety has gone down quite a bit, but its no where near where I want it to be. I guess thats my next step in this little journey...

I can flirt my butt off. I am so direct with the customers I'm attracted to. But once I leave my store and walk around, I get thrown off. I gotta beat this. I shouldn't be worrying about her thinking I'm weird...

I guess I'm more worried about what I'm gonna say. When I'm at work, I can talk video games. Thats my forte. But when I'm walking up to random people just to tell them I think they are cute and I wanna learn more about em, I get lost. I know what I SHOULDN'T say, but I don't know exactly what too say. I have to figure it out.

It irritates me knowing that I have this little tiny problem. I am a great conversationalist. I can talk about whatever. I make people laugh no problem. Flirting isn't a problem. Being sexual isn't a problem. But if I start out with a basic cold approach, all my 'NO PROBLEM' crap goes out the window and I get lost.

This is just an update of where I am at. I am planning to post actual approaches, once this cold stops kicking mah buht-cheeks. Then I'll actually go out. I don't do sh!t anyways but stay at home and draw or look up new video game art. BOOOOOOORING!!

Let me go to bed. I got effin' work in the morning...

I swear to Bob himself, I am so inconsistent. Oh well. This isn't at that top of my priority list like it use to be.

Anyways, I have been thinking a lot lately. I have learned so much bull from this site and from all my new experiences I have went through, so instead of posting another field report, I wanted to lay down some theories I have been thinking about. I'm not good with this kinda stuff, so bear with me...



SHORT VERSION/OVERALL THEORY
As a black guy, it seems I have to make a really good first impression in order to get any form of women's attention. I strongly believe in the idea that its the second thing you say that keeps a women's attention, but in my case I think its both the first and second things that I say that will get them to notice me.

In cold approaching, it is extremely hard to see any form of success from younger women. They generally judge a book by its cover and are very shallow almost immediately. In order to have a bigger chance of landing a women you are interested in, you must become part of your their life in some form or way. IE: Share a class, meet through a friend of a friend, become coworkers, share a hobbyist group, etc. This way they have time to find out the real you without the feeling of being pressured into the dating scene.
This seems to be mainly true for younger women though (ages 18-24).



***DISCLAIMER***
Now before I go any further with this, I do want to say, I am a light skinned black guy. I am not racist in any way, except for silly jokes. I find racism unnecessary and unwarranted by many. I also don't have any hate or frustration based on these theories. I also do not live by these theories. I still cold approach the women I am attracted too. Be it white, yellow, brown, orange, or red. I am just explaining what I have noticed and how it pertains to cold approaching from my point of view.
***DISCLAIMER***




WARNING, THIS POST IS LONG!

Cold Approaches
These are funny. Cold approaching is viewed in so many different lights. I use to see these as my only way to get better with women. But I work in customer service and use my interactions with customers as a way of improvement.

As I stated in the beginning, my view on cold approaches have changed. They now hang as a shadowy figure in the back of my arsenal of DJ'ing. Why, you may ask. Let me tell you a little story.

Out of town we headed for our Coo Coo Monday adventure. Coo Coo Monday's is a inside joke I made up after an incident with an attractive women. Now my friends and I use the term, "Coo Coo" to describe HB's.

We headed to Concord for their larger than average mall, ready to cold approach our butt's off. My crew consisted of me, my bro, my "black" friend MC, and my "white" friend DoubleD (DD).

As we strolled through the fabulous mall looking for targets, my "white" friend DD noticed something... All the women smiled and stared at him (DD), but as soon as they looked at us, the "black" guys (Me, my bro, and MC), they shy away instantly and soon direct their attention somewhere that wasn't us. At first I thought DD was bluffing and fooling around. But that wasn't the case. It was true. I didn't let it get to me. So I shrugged it off and went about our business...


Weeks later, MC and I head out to the same mall for another Coo Coo Monday session. I noticed DD's truths again. What was going on?! I needed to find out more.


A month goes by and my brother discovers Chatroulette, a site that lets you video chat with anyone at random from around the world. You click next and a new person appears on the screen. It was fun messing around trying to get women to flash us, or make out with each other until...


DD, MC, my bro, and I are on C.R. and find some girls (they were white). "The black guys" (MC, bro, and I) rap for the women. They giggled and laughed and applauded us for our uniqueness and confidence. But they looked closer and noticed DD. They shouted in excitement to see him. They wanted to talk to him. He's not that attractive. Average, but he was "white." I was a little upset about this. Not at DD though. But at the overall situation.


Soon, MC, bro, and I were on C.R. alone. Just us three. Having fun and being silly. We wanted to get girls on the screen. Its just more fun that way. But they all kept skipping us. All bad. No one gave us a chance. DD's truth weren't becoming real, they were real.


I relayed my theories to my coworker, who is a women, about how being black has many disadvantages with women and cold approaches. She completely agreed. She said it had to do with her upbringing and what she viewed on television. MTV and VH1 had marinated in her brain. Thats all she knew. White men were the standard for sex symbols (my theory) based on the programming MTV and VH1 chose to air.


I thought on this for a while. I didn't let this get to me, but I was aware of it.


A few days later, the two "black" women come in and shop. They come up to the counter, and are ready to purchase. They were kinda cute, so I was trying to be a little flirtatious, but they weren't biting. As soon as I noticed their unsatisfied notions with my flirting, two thugged out, ghetto dress "ya dida's" come into the store...

""Ya didas" is a term derived form the slang term "Yah di-da mean". The original term comes from the phrase, "You know what I mean?" Basically say that phrase as fast as you can. It'll sound all mushed together. My friends and I use the term, "Ya di-das" as a term to describe dread headed fools that constantly use the term "Yah di-da mean.""

These guys said some random gibberish that I didn't understand. Then left immediately after stating their sentence. The cute "black" girls whispered to each other about how cute those two were. I was shocked. The women that stood before me didn't act like they would affiliate themselves with the "Ya di-das." But then again, I was judging a book by its cover.

So what I'm noticing is that I am too black for white women, but too light skinned for the black women.... I am just kidding about this part, but I found it quite amusing when I said it out loud.



Like I said earlier, this is my theory. Since I don't have proof that any of this is true, besides the experiences I have gone through, I don't let any of this limit me from my growth. I still approach like normal, or in my case, interact with customers like normal. Just want to give you guys a heads up on some new ideas.

Hey man, digging the thread. Liking the theoretical breakdown too. As a fellow black guy, I feel you on being too stereotypically black for some and too un-stereotypically black for others.

First off though, I think you are taking it as a negative when it is a positive. I have, and will continue to be put in situations where the girl chooses the thug or his polar opposite as opposed to me, but if I am playing the odds game, I have twice the selection pool as the thug or the 'goody two shoes' guy.

Furthermore, guys like you and me have a wider skillset than the thug or the nerd. We can call upon different traits in different scenarios where the stereotypes are out of their elements.

As for your ideas, I agree with you to an extent, but I think you are encountering these reactions because you are not looking at the situations as objectively as you could. You talk about approaching women in the mall with mixed reaction, right? The first thing that came to my mind was 'does the stereotypical black man approach at the mall?' Then, I thought, "How do the women I want feel about that?" Questions like, "Am I acting similar to the stereotypical black man or different?" also come to mind...

Long story short, if you approach a situation the same way as the average person, why would you expect a unique result?

Because of certain things you cannot change, some women will close up shop when they see you in the area whereas others will roll out the red carpet in hopes of an approach. I don't necessarily agree with you that what you say first or second is all that important like you do UNLESS they have a negative preconceived notion of you.

For example, if Lauren London came up and talked some nonsense, she would still get the opportunity to redeem herself coz she is fine. OTOH if Mel Gibson came up and said something, it would have to be pretty damn good or interesting because I already have a negative BELIEF about him based on the media.

To me, the 'race' obstacle is similar to the 'looks' obstacle. It is hard coming to grips with not having as easy a road to sex as Brad Pitt or the local drug dealer but although you might have first and 20 while others start at 1st and five, it is still all football...

Good luck and update more frequently. I haven't seen the journal before so I am glad I caught the post, I'm subscribed now.


P.S. Check out this thread too, it has some good discussion on the topic as well.

I am soooo lazy. Updating feels like so much work. Maybe its just me. I don't know...

Anyways, thought today would be the perfect day to update, seeing as how I finally got real action.


Only thing I hate about doing this crap is forcing myself to remember. Then when I start remembering, I end up making a big deal out of what just happened, when I am trying not to make it a big deal. I probably just confused some of you, oh well. Leave a reply if you don't get it.


So listen...



I wake up to a text this morning from this girl saying I need to pick up my work keys from her. I said Ok, hit me up.


... Let me interrupt this real quick and say that the night before, she called me asking if I could come down to a city about 30 mins away so I could drop off food to her. I already knew what she wanted... and it wasn't food. Anyways...



She calls me around 7ish when she gets off. She asks me where I'm at, and I notify her. She asks for directions to my house. I tell her. Twenty minutes later, she arrives.... She usually would ask if I could meet her somewhere, but like I said earlier, I already knew what she had in mind.



...MORE INFO: My bro and I share a room, so bringing girls over isn't not an easy task. Also, my mom, sister, and nephew all live with me, so it really isn't easy...



Luckily, my bro randomly decides to go to church. But we still get interrupted quite a few times. We fluff it up. I flirt my butt cheeks off and she responds positively. Kino was all over the place. Then I grabbed her hand and started playing with it. She asked,

Her: Why do you keep playing with my hand? Do you wanna hold it or something?
Me: I'm just playing with it.
Her: (giggles)
Me: Your funny. (seductive gaze of DOOM)
Her: What do you want Dia?
Me: (I laugh) What do you mean what do I want? You know what I want... You.
Her: Why? Why do you want me?
Me: Because I like your personality and you cute... and sexy.
Her: I'm sexy? Well what are you gonna do?
Me: This...



We start making out. Small flirtatious banter. Shes loving it.

Then I say,

Me: Your funny.
Her: (giggles) Why?
Me: Cuz, you didn't like me before. You practically hated me. Now your all over me.
Her: (speechless and all smiles)
Me: What do you want HB?
Her: Just stick it in, just really quick.


... Too easy...

We were both on guard hoping no one walked in... even though the door was locked. She kept saying she has to leave... but thats the opposite of what she did... doo dooo DOOOOOOO!! (its my imitation of what bass sounds like)


She stopped in the middle and said,

Her: (smiling) Do you wanna be fvck buddies or something?
Me: That sounds... ok... I guess.
Her: What, you don't want too?
Me: I'm just playing.
Her: (smiles)



She is enjoying it, until I thought I heard a car door close. First thing my dumb self assumes is that its my brother... Its not.


She gets dressed, but we keep making out and fooling around. She keeps saying, "I gotta go."... She doesn't leave.


Then I finally say, "Go home." She is kinda surprised that I said it. As she leaves, I was about to make her walk to her car alone. She says, "Aren't you gonna walk me to my car?"


I do. She keeps talking about how fun it was. I just wanna go back and inside and finish, then continue drawing. She was smiling like no other. It was so funny. She wouldn't stop. Anyways...



I go back inside and draw. She texts me asking if I was surprised that it happened, because she was shocked. I told her no. She laughed using the annoying, "lol." I.hate.lol. Nobody lol's all the time in real life to 90% of the things they lol to. Its stoopid. Don't lol if your not actually doing it.



Anyways, fun night... kinda. But I'll see what happens next time.




Its funny how much I don't care for women or smex anymore. I just don't. Its really cool. This is exactly what I've been wanting, besides her. Haha. Silliness is me.


I've got other crap to tell you guys about, but lazy and me are best friends, and he just convinced me to eat instead so, another awaits for my other updates. Enjoys life all.

Just trying to update more frequently.


I am now at a point to where women aren't a struggle anymore. I am getting play from two different women. One is the F-buddy I talked about above, and the other is someone who actually is LTR worthy, but we'll see how that goes.


I have noticed what works for me and have been abusing it like no other... Which is my humor. I can make anyone laugh, hard. And I'm not afraid to say what I want. I learned that by me being the first one to establish the boundaries with a new women, I look more... "ALPHA"... I hate using that term, but that's the only way I know how to describe it. By being to first one to subconsciously set the rules, she will see me as the one in control.

I also don't let girls get away with anything. I don't care if they don't like me afterward. Their loss, not mine... But I never lose 'em, so I'm doin' something right. Haha.



I've been being a lot more direct when I escalate into a seductive/sexual state. I just jump to it. No beating around the bush with it. Once I notice they're comfortable with me, I let 'em know what I want.

In the end all this stuff goes back to basics of what is taught here.




The one thing that stands out that worked for me the most was reading the DJ Bible over and over again. Letting it become who I was. I engraved the DJ mindset into my brain. It was a lifestyle overhaul. I woke up and just read the DJ Bible every morning. Then I would hop in the shower and meditate on it. Meditate meaning think long and hard about what I just read and basically internalize it. I believed in what I was reading and made sure I not only knew what it taught, but also acted upon it. I didn't just read for fun. I read to grow.

I know this isn't an update that you guys wanted to read, but its not an update for you guys. Its for me. To see how far I've come. I've grown sooooooo much since December. I have a different outlook on women and life in general.




Now that women aren't such a problem anymore, I don't wanna pull women everywhere I go. Cuz I know that I can do it. I just want fun once or twice every few weeks or so. I'm not a sex fiend, so I could give no kinds of fvck about pvssy. I'm more about finding what makes women tick and more about pleasing them. Because when I do that, they please me a hell of a lot more.




READ AND INTERNALIZE THIS SH!T FOLKS!!!! It'll help. Don't ask a da*n question about what to do until you have fully internalized this stuff. It'll change how you think and act. And asking what to do will be the last question on your mind.



Will post some more girl related stuff soon. Later mates!

Great Journal Dia, its always great to read someone progress from point A to where they want to be through a series of posts. I know how you feel about being to black for white girls and too white for black ones haha im lightskinned too (well caramel). Good for you man! Im still learning myself, reading stuff like this is great inspiration.

BlackMos17 said:

Great Journal Dia, its always great to read someone progress from point A to where they want to be through a series of posts. I know how you feel about being to black for white girls and too white for black ones haha im lightskinned too (well caramel). Good for you man! Im still learning myself, reading stuff like this is great inspiration.

Click to expand...

Its good to know that someone is getting use out of my journal besides me. Keep on reading this stuff. You'll improve in no time. Just go after it wholeheartedly. Good luck mate.


As for a journal update, I wanted to bring up to speed with my current situations...





Lets start with my...

FVCK BUDDY
- She just broke up with her boyfriend... Well he broke up with her, and she isn't taking it too well. Actually she's handling it horribly. Its irritating as hell. How you gonna be upset that he broke up with you because you cheated on him? And then you want him still? NOPE!! Hella dumb. Anyways...

She keeps trying to talk to me about it. Last night, she even had the nerve to call me while she was at a party that was out of town. I was thinking, "You better be callin' me for some booty..."

NOPE!

Wasn't booty. She was bored and decided to call me... WHAT THE FUDGE DO YOU NEED TO CALL ME FOR?! I am not your entertainer. Call one of your girlfriends for that. I am not that guy. I definitely let her know that that wasn't cool. She kept asking me why I was upset. B!TCH!! Don't call me because your bored. Stoopid... Anyways.





NEW GIRL
-She is pretty cool. We have the same friends, so she was never a target of mine to begin with. Not saying that you shouldn't hit on your friend's friend's. I just didn't see her that way, and I didn't want any awkward situations.

One day I decide to chat on Facebook with a couple of people. I was bored, so I messaged like 4 people. Had silly conversations that were simply retarded and fun. After the other 3 conversations ended, she kept talking to me... Weird...

Anyways, she was cool, so I kept talking to her. Found out quite a bit about her. While we were talking, she pointed out that she needed a new canvas to paint on. I then told her, "You need to come over my house and use my drawing tablet on my PC. If you don't like it, I'll buy you a new canvas."

Now keep in mind that I wasn't planning any game on her. I just thought she should use my tablet and just come over and kick it... She agrees to come over. We make plans to do it the next day.


Sooooo, she comes over. It was easy. Usually there is a struggle to get a girl over my house (but today I found out how to get girls over, with a lot less stress). She didn't put up any resistance. At this point, I still didn't think nothing of it. She has a boyfriend, so I could care less about her. She is cute, but I just can't see her being more than a friend.

She comes over three days in a row. Come to find out she is one of the coolest women I know. Laughs at all my jokes, likes art and crap. Cool peoples...

This gets me to thinking she is attracted to me. Not cool. Don't wanna deal with stuff. I don't know why I didn't see it before. But now I do...

I'm assuming she wants to replace her current bf with someone new. She does have LTR traits. I just don't know if I want to deal with it.

Luckily for me, she recently started having feelings for her ex again, so that made it an easier decision. But she tried to use me as an emotional tampon. I made it absolutely clear with her that I wasn't that guy. She was hurt a little, but I didn't care. I hate being that guy. So now she doesn't talk to me as much except for flirting and shvt.




WHERE I'M AT
I'm at the point now to where I get mostly everything. I just found out how powerful physical escalation was. I'm not talking basic kino. I'm talking about sexual physical escalation.

I found out it should be used before your words. What sucks is that I knew that already, but as you learn new things, you start to forget old stuff. So I gotta keep refreshing myself.

So next time I want to escalate past the comfort stage, I'm gonna toss in some sexual physical escalation. I can't wait to try it out.

One other thing I learned recently is that it is a must... I repeat, a must to know about how to read IOI's. Learning to read IOI's correctly will tell you how much you need to escalate and what point of escalation you need to redo with her. Low IOI's mean attraction may be low, so start from there and go on. High IOI's mean you need to maybe build comfort, then move into a sexual state, or just jump right into the sexual state. But that all depends on where you are at with her.

Learn to read where your at and learn to read IOIs. It is very very important.





It still amazes me at how much I have improved. I can believe I started practicing this stuff almost a year ago. I have had different goals compared to a lot of other guys here, and I can honestly say that I'm meeting them. Can't wait to update this stuff with more news, be it good or bad. I'm out.

Good luck mates.