Recent content by ucde

My reading/interpretation follows. You are saying to us that "putting in the effort" is destroying you. I read that as meaning that you are working with a big imbalance in yourself, which has to be addressed before any "happiness" can be enjoyed. I think you got it right, if effort...

Yeah, take it from Mauser96 with his 3,298 post count, bro. Ask yourself if honesty is a value you hold dear. If it is, tell her everything. I don't know what kind of sh1tty relationships you guys are having to be spreading this advice around, but deceit never ends well and it never creates...

Sounds like you over-DJed it bro. Congratulations. Now you know not to take the jokers on here too seriously. Honestly, call her back and explain to her that you were following rules from an internet forum which led you to try to be distant and jerk-like. Show her the forum. Tell her how you...

Its not looks. You're clearly super, super uncomfortable with yourself and with people in general. I don't say that as someone who is better than you. But people pick up on anxiety, and just reading what you wrote, I was taken aback by how self-conscious and afraid you are. It's the work of a...

Yes. Acceptance is key. So hard to accept someone not liking you, but it is eventually freeing. Part of you just will do *anything* rather than accept it. But I have accepted it, and its f-ing freeing.

Ideally, neither. Do the work related stuff, but also man up and own up to the fact that you expressed romantic interest and it was not reciprocated. Just treat it like it wasn't a big deal. Or, if you feel anxious/awkward/nervous/sad/hurt/rejected, as would be a totally normal thing, then...

Rewording it using my own concepts to give more clarity: The purpose of relationships isn't the mere discharging of pent-up sexual energy. The purpose is to deepen our experience of life and ourselves. It is to learn about what love really is. It is certainly about more than just f*cking, by...

Right. There is an emotional dimension that you are not super tuned in to. Dont feel bad about it, we we're all like that at one point. But realize that emotions are super, super important to girls. Having sex without emotions has no purpose to a woman. (Generally). Maybe you are...

bro, if you care about it enough to post on a message board, writing 10+ paragraphs of text about it, then your heart is INTO it. and following your heart is generally always a good decision. It leads you into trouble sometimes, but sometimes that trouble is just what you need. Then it also...

Props on seeing it as work on yourself, and not as a way of externally protecting the relationship. Look into yourself, ask questions like: "Why do I think some random dude on Instagram is going to destroy my relationship with a flirty message?" I'm not saying your situation wouldn't be...

I'll say some stuff and share my perspective here, since you seem sincere. For background: I'm big into meditation and spirituality, being in nature, self-analysis, and living as clean as possible. If that's boring, then feel free to disregard this advice. Drinking alcohol to the point...

They probably have emotional needs that they don't feel you are meeting. Are their emotional needs legitimate? Are your sexual needs legitimate? For example, there might be a desire to connect deeply over a problem she has been having. But she didn't feel you fully connected, so she feels she...

yah, I'd say if married its more of a leave it alone thing... haha, maybe meditate on the feelings you have about her,... sorry

oh sorry, I didnt get she was married.

Listen to me, broseph. Your heart is sending you a message that *you care about this person*. If you ignore that, you do so at your own peril. There is a reason why the heart hungers for what it hungers for. Deep, deep reasons. Follow that feeling, my friend, if you wish to. I have...