DreamAgain
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2016
- Messages
- 654
- Reaction score
- 676
- Age
- 34
I've learned a lot from this website and the posters here. The articles, books, information are all invaluable, and I have applied them with positive outcomes in the end.
I had some time on a longer drive yesterday to just think and let my mind wander, and I began to reflect on all this, and my relationships with and understanding of women.
I ruminated for a while, not exactly sure how long, but in the end I actually tried to "think" like a woman for a second. Meaning I tried to recollect the true emotions I felt throughout this whole journey, and not the logical cause and effect sequences that occurred. I just tried to replay the events in my mind, and hoped that some remnants of the emotions during them would follow.
While I was doing this, I came to a realization: I was the happiest during my oneitis phase. The excitement that I felt in arranging to meet her, in thinking of just the right things to make her laugh, to get her to enjoy time with me, was unmatched with any other plates or hookups I had. I just felt this electricity pulsing through me, I felt so alive and bulletproof, yet also quite vulnerable as to not mess things up. It was as if every time we saw each other, it was the fourth quarter and I was on the line to either make or miss the foul shots for the game. This feeling invigorated me and turbo-charged my drive to excel even more in other aspects of my life. I felt on top of the world.
Of course, these illusions were shattered once I found out more information about her and women in general, a lot thanks to this website and others. But still, when I look back, I almost wish there was a way to plug back into the matrix.
So what to make of this? Well I don't really know. But even despite all the pain, I'd do it all again if I could.
I had some time on a longer drive yesterday to just think and let my mind wander, and I began to reflect on all this, and my relationships with and understanding of women.
I ruminated for a while, not exactly sure how long, but in the end I actually tried to "think" like a woman for a second. Meaning I tried to recollect the true emotions I felt throughout this whole journey, and not the logical cause and effect sequences that occurred. I just tried to replay the events in my mind, and hoped that some remnants of the emotions during them would follow.
While I was doing this, I came to a realization: I was the happiest during my oneitis phase. The excitement that I felt in arranging to meet her, in thinking of just the right things to make her laugh, to get her to enjoy time with me, was unmatched with any other plates or hookups I had. I just felt this electricity pulsing through me, I felt so alive and bulletproof, yet also quite vulnerable as to not mess things up. It was as if every time we saw each other, it was the fourth quarter and I was on the line to either make or miss the foul shots for the game. This feeling invigorated me and turbo-charged my drive to excel even more in other aspects of my life. I felt on top of the world.
Of course, these illusions were shattered once I found out more information about her and women in general, a lot thanks to this website and others. But still, when I look back, I almost wish there was a way to plug back into the matrix.
So what to make of this? Well I don't really know. But even despite all the pain, I'd do it all again if I could.