So ummm...Not so sure anymore.

[GeezerBub]

Hello peopulz...
So tomorrow I'm to meet someone I've been chatting with on OKC with for a bit and all is well until she sends me the following...

"Wait, yeah, no there's no way my anxiety is chill with meeting another stranger. If we do meet, I'd like to at least not have to pretend to be friendly and just feel like I'm meeting someone I genuinely want to see. We honestly don't really know each other, and every time I do this I come home feeling horrible and drained. I'm not doing this anymore. I'll be honest, if it feels weird which it will, I'll literally never speak to you again."

I mean...Should I even bother?

 

[backseatjuan]

Why not, but don't spend money on it. Maximum a coffee. Reply back, people meet each other to get to know each other, fool. Be yourself, you can do it.!

 

[RickTheToad]

I would waste your time. Next the b!tch. You shouldn't have to convince a lady to want to get drinks. It's drinks, not walking down the alter. Too much drama already. She'll be a handful and you'll be throwing money out the window and waste your time for nothing.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

This is not normal behavior of a mentally healthy individual. You can infer all of the following from this message alone:

1. Crippling anxiety. The kind that prevents her from doing many things in life, such as being successful in a career and all other things in life. People with this kind of anxiety frequently aim it at you and make you suffer.
2. She is not friendly in her natural state and it takes a lot of hard work to pretend to be friendly. So she is an angry, jaded person who sees the world through glass is half empty.
3. She has a horrible track record dating people and is totally burned out because she is so crazy that she can't find someone she likes, or she is so crazy that no one wants her.
4. She is already pre-supposing that your date will go poorly because she is a negative, jaded person, and she is too crazy to realize, or too mean to care that her saying this to you is insulting.

Don't waste another second of your life on this nut job. Don't walk, run. Delete and block. Don't say anything mean to her on the way out.... She sounds like she's already dealt herself enough pain and suffering.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Blah blah blah, words.....stop paying so much attention to them. If you can shrug off paragraphs like that with no effect on you, then you are a person with little anxiety, which is what she needs in a man.

I would just tell her no worries, no pressure to meet...and she would likely drop the anxiety routine right away. It is a test, of sorts. And like most tests, she probably does not realize she is testing you.

You said you had been chatting for "a bit." I don't know about your situation specifically, but I do think most guys press for the date way too fast. It shows a scarcity mentality and implies a lack of options.

 

[marmel75]

This chick has major issues. Dont waste your time...you should literally thank her for showing you she is psycho prior to wasting any time or money on her.

 

[Serenity]

This is why it's a bad idea to let the internal monologue spill out... That message would surely put me off.

 

[Tilex]

She's going to flake.
I see this one coming.

I wouldn't count on anyone that types like that to show up.
They are in their own heads conjuring up too many "what if" scenarios.
What if a Volcano erupts and we all melt into a puddle of lava at 8pm on a Saturday night?

 

[marmel75]

OP, why would you even WANT to meet this chick after she has literally told you she is a basket case with issues? That's the thing I just dont get.

 

[Skyline]

Hello peopulz...
So tomorrow I'm to meet someone I've been chatting with on OKC with for a bit and all is well until she sends me the following...

"Wait, yeah, no there's no way my anxiety is chill with meeting another stranger. If we do meet, I'd like to at least not have to pretend to be friendly and just feel like I'm meeting someone I genuinely want to see. We honestly don't really know each other, and every time I do this I come home feeling horrible and drained. I'm not doing this anymore. I'll be honest, if it feels weird which it will, I'll literally never speak to you again."

I mean...Should I even bother?

Her message is a perfect example of when some women will give away so much of themselves without even realizing it.

She expexts you to give her sympathy. The power play itself is a sign of disinterest and the fact that her personality has a lot of red flags.

Do you really think she will benefit you?

Oh yeah, here’s a tip on online dating. If she calls you a stranger then she’s just in it for the attention. Especially if she doesn’t bother to ask any questions about you.

 

[RickTheToad]

Blah blah blah, words.....stop paying so much attention to them. If you can shrug off paragraphs like that with no effect on you, then you are a person with little anxiety, which is what she needs in a man.

I would just tell her no worries, no pressure to meet...and she would likely drop the anxiety routine right away. It is a test, of sorts. And like most tests, she probably does not realize she is testing you.

You said you had been chatting for "a bit." I don't know about your situation specifically, but I do think most guys press for the date way too fast. It shows a scarcity mentality and implies a lack of options.

After 3 or 4 messages you need to step up and ask out or you are done. It's a double-edged sword.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hello peopulz...
So tomorrow I'm to meet someone I've been chatting with on OKC with for a bit and all is well until she sends me the following...

"Wait, yeah, no there's no way my anxiety is chill with meeting another stranger. If we do meet, I'd like to at least not have to pretend to be friendly and just feel like I'm meeting someone I genuinely want to see. We honestly don't really know each other, and every time I do this I come home feeling horrible and drained. I'm not doing this anymore. I'll be honest, if it feels weird which it will, I'll literally never speak to you again."

I mean...Should I even bother?

Plate her.

Activity = coffee.

Lead. Chat. Assume attraction and familiarity. Progress the way you would if you smashed and nutted on her face.

ZERO ****s given.

I love coffee. Even if a hirl did not come, I would hit on girl's at the coffee shop and act accordingly.

 

[Atom Smasher]

"Stop your nonsense and meet me where we agreed. Life's an adventure."

 

[BeExcellent]

"Stop your nonsense and meet me where we agreed. Life's an adventure."

Leadership! Voila. Atom & Bible win the day here. Even if she is rather nutty.

Nothing eases a woman’s anxieties like a decisive man.

 

[Trump]

"Stop your nonsense and meet me where we agreed. Life's an adventure."

She’s already telling you “Hey, I’ve haven’t met you, talked to you, or seen your face in real life and I’m already causing you problems. Imagine if we got into a relationship I gave you sex, what do you think I would do?”

Move on. Don’t be desparate.

 

[GeezerBub]

Thanks for the insight everybody...I decided to ditch OKC altogether. It occurs to me that just having an account forces a women who sees me there to ask herself "Why does he need OKC?" "What's wrong with him that he needs to be here?"...And more of the like. I swear, there's no better way for me showcase being unfit then to be found there.

 

[Robert28]

It all women made the red flags as easy to spot as this one did, this forum would shut down because there wouldn’t be a need for it.

 

[GeezerBub]

It all women made the red flags as easy to spot as this one did, this forum would shut down because there wouldn’t be a need for it.

You're not kidding...It did seem obvious. But I wanted to make sure there was no hidden meaning that my inexperience was keeping me from spotting...It's too bad. Cuz assuming her picture was real, she was gorgeous.