Attractive Women With Husbands/Boyfriends Hitting on Me

[origin138]

As the journey of self-improvement continues and as excellent progress is made, I've noticed a new behavior I've not seen before.

I'm being approached and hit on by women with boyfriends or husbands.

A few nights ago, I was at a local bar alone after work and BOTH bartenders (HB 7s easy) approached at different times. The first one, we made strong eye contact, she smiled and walked over and introduced herself and asked what I was doing after my drink. I asked what she was doing after work, and she said she was going out with friends, then was pulled aside by someone ordering a drink.

The other did the same, and also asked where I worked and what I did for a living, etc what she did for a living, goals, etc. We talked for a bit, but there was no mistaking the IL.

I've interacted with both these girls in the past briefly while ordering drinks, but we've never talked because the bar is usually busy. Both have always made consistent eye contact with me on several occasions.

I know when I'm being hit on. As they were pouring drinks for others, I looked them up on their company page on Facebook and both had boyfriends.

What gives? I'd like a Mature Man analysis.

 

[Who Dares Win]

It may be that they are genuinely attracted from you of course but in my opinion they are just looking for their satisfaction which doesnt happen when your d1ck is inside them but when you make it clear that you would like to do it and they reject you.

This way they get all the validation and sex they get in their committed relationship plus they get the validation and excitement that they were used to get in their single life, basically have their cake and eat it too.
Add to that the fabricated drama of informing their friends that men chase her so bad even if she is engaged and you get the complete picture.

Among the most dangerous type of women there are the engaged ones actively throwing baits at single men.

 

[Waylon]

What gives is her hypergamy... they sense the changes you've made and the confidence level in yourself that you are displaying and like moths to a flame, they are attracted to it.

Odds are they are with a guy that is "content" with themselves, in which he sees no need for improvement... after all he "has" the hot girl, right? More often than not, women in relationships hit on me, but why? I think it has to do with me being happy in my life... they want that!

Here is the key, NEVER mention the "boyfriend"... if she is genuinely interested in you her fella is the farthest thing from her mind, you don't want to bring him into the forefront at any time. There may be a time when she mentions him... it's a Sh*t test for you! The "I have a boyfriend" comment may eventually come up... how will you handle it?

Suggestion... when this happens my go to response is not to validate him as even being relevant. "I had a gold fish that died once and now we are both talking about something irrelevant!" She only threw that out there to see how well you would handle the situation.

Your mindset: some guys have a "moral high ground" in this situation. Once she puts that out there, he (the moral high ground guy) will back up and discard her as a potential. Know this, if it's not you it will be someone else!

You only stop the game if she makes it well known through her ACTIONS (not words) that she's not interested in you. Do not expect a continued "relationship" with her... it is quite possible that she just needs to get her "rocks off" with some strange.

Hope this helps and good luck!

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Bartenders FLIRT for a living. Until she actually goes out with you/kisses you/has sex with you it is nothing more than flirting to end up with more tips.
Anybody in the service industry is going to be nice to you/flirt with you/appear to show interest in you. You are a customer. It's how they maximize their income.

IF she agrees to go somewhere with you outside of her work (Not I'm working Tuesday...hope I see you) then its something.

If she is not interested then she will mention the boyfriend as an initial hurdle (why? she doesn't want to alienate a paying customer), rather than reject you. It is not in their financial best interest to outright reject you. They would rather string you along just enough that you have hope you can get them someday. Strippers are the best at this, while milking their benefactors, but barkeeps are a close second.

 

[Waylon]

Advice from the old lady:

Bartenders FLIRT for a living. Until she actually goes out with you/kisses you/has sex with you it is nothing more than flirting to end up with more tips.
Anybody in the service industry is going to be nice to you/flirt with you/appear to show interest in you. You are a customer. It's how they maximize their income.

IF she agrees to go somewhere with you outside of her work (Not I'm working Tuesday...hope I see you) then its something.

If she is not interested then she will mention the boyfriend as an initial hurdle (why? she doesn't want to alienate a paying customer), rather than reject you. It is not in their financial best interest to outright reject you. They would rather string you along just enough that you have hope you can get them someday. Strippers are the best at this, while milking their benefactors, but barkeeps are a close second.

Excellent observations! Well done!

 

[origin138]

Advice from the old lady:

Bartenders FLIRT for a living. Until she actually goes out with you/kisses you/has sex with you it is nothing more than flirting to end up with more tips.
Anybody in the service industry is going to be nice to you/flirt with you/appear to show interest in you. You are a customer. It's how they maximize their income.

IF she agrees to go somewhere with you outside of her work (Not I'm working Tuesday...hope I see you) then its something.

If she is not interested then she will mention the boyfriend as an initial hurdle (why? she doesn't want to alienate a paying customer), rather than reject you. It is not in their financial best interest to outright reject you. They would rather string you along just enough that you have hope you can get them someday. Strippers are the best at this, while milking their benefactors, but barkeeps are a close second.

A possibility except that my tab was closed out, and I tip them well every time. One of them even had my name before I told her my name. There were no mentions of boyfriends, only "girl friends".

 

[BeExcellent]

A possibility except that my tab was closed out, and I tip them well every time. One of them even had my name before I told her my name. There were no mentions of boyfriends, only "girl friends".

SMH.

Do you ever pay with a credit card? They can read. You tip well (due to their attention) so you warrant extra attention from them. They want you to come back (and spend more money.) So it's a nice feedback loop and everybody is happy.

Why are bartenders always attractive people who are charming? Answer: They make their establishments the most money. Ditto hot chicks with cleavage and/or tight tops or short bottoms. Hooters and Tilted Kilt are prime examples of the value of attractive women have in the service industry.

Honestly I am not trying to rain on your parade. Maybe they are both dying to do you. But unless and until they actually go somewhere besides the establishment with you, you have to assume they are working the relationship for financial gain.

 

[Waylon]

SMH.

Do you ever pay with a credit card? They can read. You tip well (due to their attention) so you warrant extra attention from them. They want you to come back (and spend more money.) So it's a nice feedback loop and everybody is happy.

Why are bartenders always attractive people who are charming? Answer: They make their establishments the most money. Ditto hot chicks with cleavage and/or tight tops or short bottoms. Hooters and Tilted Kilt are prime examples of the value of attractive women have in the service industry.

Honestly I am not trying to rain on your parade. Maybe they are both dying to do you. But unless and until they actually go somewhere besides the establishment with you, you have to assume they are working the relationship for financial gain.

Again, I would have to agree... don't put a whole lot of water into it unless, as stated they actually meet you outside of their work. Then it's game on, but until that happens see it for what it is... you are a cash cow for them and as long as they stroke your ego you will continue to be.

Say something like "you seem pretty cool... maybe we should hangout sometime." See if you get the number... I wouldn't exactly become a "regular" there in hopes that you can get with them.

 

[stovepipe]

I had a LTR with a BT once. They are master manipulators. Smash and dash if you can and try not to attach any emtions to them.

 

[Masculinity]

As the journey of self-improvement continues and as excellent progress is made, I've noticed a new behavior I've not seen before.

I'm being approached and hit on by women with boyfriends or husbands.

A few nights ago, I was at a local bar alone after work and BOTH bartenders (HB 7s easy) approached at different times. The first one, we made strong eye contact, she smiled and walked over and introduced herself and asked what I was doing after my drink. I asked what she was doing after work, and she said she was going out with friends, then was pulled aside by someone ordering a drink.

The other did the same, and also asked where I worked and what I did for a living, etc what she did for a living, goals, etc. We talked for a bit, but there was no mistaking the IL.

I've interacted with both these girls in the past briefly while ordering drinks, but we've never talked because the bar is usually busy. Both have always made consistent eye contact with me on several occasions.

I know when I'm being hit on. As they were pouring drinks for others, I looked them up on their company page on Facebook and both had boyfriends.

What gives? I'd like a Mature Man analysis.

These women are attention whoring you.

 

[wifehunter]

 

[nismo-4]

Easy ass analysis, and lack thereof.

Business for them by attention wh0ring. Flirting so you open up your wallet and they won't open their legs.

Sorry, you're not attractive enough as a sex partner, but a dikless provider. Since you're a regular, you're some form of beta orbiter to them.

Tell them you already have a girlfriend. They'll cry when their tips drop, but stop the minute Chad answers the phone for a railing.

They're not that attractive anyway. No woman is.

Case closed. That's the analysis for your ass.

 

[Fruitbat]

Women, I have learned, may very strongly wish to flirt with you, yet not wish your d1ck within 100 miles of them!

Our Game: (Roughly), how many women are willing to sleep with me?
Their Game (roughly) How many men are attracted to me and how strong is that attraction.
Bad result for us: Lots of attention but no sex
Bad result for them: Sex with no attention.

Women sometimes flirt right in front of their BF. Sometimes to upset them, sometimes because couples find the thrill of it fun, sometimes because she doesn't like the other guy and want herBF to hate him.......this is a weapon or a tool.....and sometimes, yes, they just really like a certain guy. However, flirting doesn't mean much inthe scheme of things,. it's more about them than you, usually.

 

[backbreaker]

I remember one random weekend bout 11 years ago this girl was supposed to come over and didn't So I called someone else and the girl got so jealous she brought me donuts and orange juice and gave me a blow job

I ducked her so hard we ran through bout three condoms and i left one on the bed by accident that another female friend of mine came over and saw and got so jealous she asked me to give her a massage right there in front of her bf. Why he was there I forgot and I wanted to **** her so I did loll kind felt bad for dude

 

[Fruitbat]

I remember one random weekend bout 11 years ago this girl was supposed to come over and didn't So I called someone else and the girl got so jealous she brought me donuts and orange juice and gave me a blow job

I ducked her so hard we ran through bout three condoms and i left one on the bed by accident that another female friend of mine came over and saw and got so jealous she asked me to give her a massage right there in front of her bf. Why he was there I forgot and I wanted to **** her so I did loll kind felt bad for dude

She gave you a massage in front of her BF?

Trash. I would say "the dude deserved it for letting it happen" but he's probably been suckered in and has his whole life revolving around her.

 

[ThisNThat]

As the journey of self-improvement continues and as excellent progress is made, I've noticed a new behavior I've not seen before.

I'm being approached and hit on by women with boyfriends or husbands.

A few nights ago, I was at a local bar alone after work and BOTH bartenders

Pretty much a stop after this. I did scan ahead to see if she invited you out to join her friends or entertained future face time possibilities when going out, but she did not. So she wasn't even open to having you join even as a group of friends to hang with.

Meaning, she may not want you in her life outside of being a customer.

And this reinforces the fact that they are bartenders and are there just to be nice to you...which is part of their job. It's their job to play to the customers sitting at the bar, and being a single, solo male...you're the perfect candidate.

Had it been anytime outside of the food/drink service industry, this post would be valid.

 

[skinnyguy]

Pretty much a stop after this. I did scan ahead to see if she invited you out to join her friends or entertained future face time possibilities when going out, but she did not. So she wasn't even open to having you join even as a group of friends to hang with.

Meaning, she may not want you in her life outside of being a customer.

And this reinforces the fact that they are bartenders and are there just to be nice to you...which is part of their job. It's their job to play to the customers sitting at the bar, and being a single, solo male...you're the perfect candidate.

Had it been anytime outside of the food/drink service industry, this post would be valid.

ditto. OP needs to stop inflating his ego cause a hired gun is "hitting on him". Yeah I could say that cute Starbucks barista was hitting on me yesterday...oh wait she just wanted a tip.