taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
I noticed that too, thought it was interesting, although I wouldn't call it "grooming." Maybe an attempt to maintain his frame, (grooming would imply he actually intends to interview people).
Maybe it's this Dr. Reid:
THE MARGINALIZATION OF MODERN MEN
- Thread starter Dr. Reed
- Start date
I am very sorry if I offended you. I wish you all the best. Is English your first language? I thought you are from Scandinavia. I still don't understand why you refuse to read what I have written. That is the best way to engage my ideas. It is not possible to accurately explain my positions in a post. Just look back at the large posts I made, and the fact that no one read them.
This phenomena, ironically, is a symptom of the larger problem we have with the type of adults our culture is producing. They are unwilling to read anything longer than a few sentences, unwilling to invest the necessary intellectual energy into understanding complex social, political, and legal structures.
That is why they end up living in their parents basement contributing nothing to society. They expect people like my self to spoon feed them information.
If this describes you, I am sorry. I simply do not understand why you refuse to do a little bit of reading. My first chapter is very short. Attacking me and my credentials does not make sense unless you first get a grasp upon my ideas.
In terms of citations, they are absolutely critical in terms of intellectual honesty. Otherwise I would be passing them off as my own. They also give legitimacy to my arguments. They enable you to go back and find the source for the claims I am making.
My second chapter has very few citations.
In any event, before you engage in a personal attack against me, please attack my ideas. That is the correct way to refute my arguments.
EDIT: I live in Sugar Land Texas, It is a suburb outside of Houston. I can pull up one of my martial art instructional to prove who I am.
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I noticed that too, thought it was interesting, although I wouldn't call it "grooming." Maybe an attempt to maintain his frame, (grooming would imply he actually intends to interview people).
Maybe it's this Dr. Reid:
Part of my theory is that men are opting out of traditional male roles, like that of the father, husband, etc. There are 2 classifications for these men. The first is what I term Failure to Launchers'. These are men who decided at a young age to not even bother trying to go to college, build a career, start a family. They become 30 year olds living in their parents basement playing video games and essentially avoiding any responsibility whatsoever.
Then, there is a second class of men, Like Desdinova. He launched, busted his hump trying to build a life, did everything he possibly could to be successful but ultimately was chewed up by the system....Des, if I am wrong please correct me. This class of men now refuse to marry, refuse to buy into what they see as the lies, dysfunction, and hypocrisy of our society. Yes, they are in relationships, but not traditional type relationships.
I would like to interview five men like Des, and try and figure out what happened, how and why did the rules, morals, and structure of our society push them to where they are today? What needs to change in our society in order for these type of men to step back into traditional roles.
Tayuu, I am not sure if you fit into this second category, but if you did I would like to hear what you have to say.
Also, if you are interested in my ideas, why don't you read my chapters? It is not possible to unpack my argument in a simple post.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
Plenty of people are still living "traditional lives." If your assumption that the "system" is at fault, then you'll need to explain the people who don't fit your mold.
It's changing, certainly. But why do some navigate it successfully while others do not?
https://www.facebook.com/sean.reed.7165/videos/vb.593178806/10153248978753807/?type=2&theater
That is a vid from my facebook page
That is a vid from my facebook page
Actually, no, they are not. There are very few who do not fit my mold. Both people living in their parents basement and people like Des are doing exactly what my theory predicts.
The divorce rate is 50%.....that is only part of the problem. Of that 50%, how many are happy? How many are producing well adjusted children? Also, what about the massive amount of children who are growing up in single parent households? They have far, far worse life outcomes than do children raised in traditional 2 parent households.
There is absolutely no denying there is a problem, a huge problem. Again, all these question would be answered if you just did a bit of reading.
May I send you my first chapter, or is there a way I can post it here?
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
Why don't you upload it to dropbox and put a link so everybody can read it?
Sure, how do I do so?
BELOW ARE MY FIRST 13 PAGES
Chapter 1: Introduction
The Toolbox began with my own personal failures. After a lengthy history of making bad choices I was divorced and destitute, barely surviving on the outskirts of society. A broken home, alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, incarceration, they are all a part of my story.
Incomprehensible demoralization described my life for a very long time.
As the much told joke goes, if you looked in the dictionary under loser, you would see my picture.
I once laid my coat down over a puddle so that my date would not get her shoes wet. Two weeks later, she dumped me.
Fortunately, I found a way up and out
A decade later, I had a fantastic life. House, job, car, money, but more importantly a love life beyond my wildest dreams. After perfection of my system, a system I call the Toolbox, these quotes, from my own experiences, characterized my love life: “Marry me now!” “Marry me and I will suck your d!&k….twice a day every day.” “Marry me and I will buy you a Corvette.” “I want a ring on this finger.” “Marry me and I will give it to you….all!” “I don’t care if you are seeing other women, I am going to fight for you.” “Get me pregnant I will give you ten thousand dollars.”
These demands were all from highly successful professional women. Doctor’s, MBA’s, PhD’s, high earning nurses.
11 years ago I married the best of all these women and our relationship is stronger than ever. The Toolbox keeps her in love with me.
If you are interested in these types of changes in your own life, then this book is for you.
The Toolbox is a manual for fulfilling love and a successful life. It is rooted in science, in the evolutionary biology and psychology of human behavior. It weds these empirical truths with the social and political realities of the modern Western world. The tools that will enable you to mediate these two worlds come from proven spiritual, physical, and philosophical systems that have successfully guided humans for thousands of years.
The Toolbox is a rigorous program for successful living for contemporary man. You will eliminate frustration and alienation, master seduction and relationship skills, and do so in a world that is unlike any in human history.
Lets start by taking a look at those modern conditions. It is a war out there, and men are losing the most important battles.
Chapter 1: Introduction
The Toolbox began with my own personal failures. After a lengthy history of making bad choices I was divorced and destitute, barely surviving on the outskirts of society. A broken home, alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, incarceration, they are all a part of my story.
Incomprehensible demoralization described my life for a very long time.
As the much told joke goes, if you looked in the dictionary under loser, you would see my picture.
I once laid my coat down over a puddle so that my date would not get her shoes wet. Two weeks later, she dumped me.
Fortunately, I found a way up and out
A decade later, I had a fantastic life. House, job, car, money, but more importantly a love life beyond my wildest dreams. After perfection of my system, a system I call the Toolbox, these quotes, from my own experiences, characterized my love life: “Marry me now!” “Marry me and I will suck your d!&k….twice a day every day.” “Marry me and I will buy you a Corvette.” “I want a ring on this finger.” “Marry me and I will give it to you….all!” “I don’t care if you are seeing other women, I am going to fight for you.” “Get me pregnant I will give you ten thousand dollars.”
These demands were all from highly successful professional women. Doctor’s, MBA’s, PhD’s, high earning nurses.
11 years ago I married the best of all these women and our relationship is stronger than ever. The Toolbox keeps her in love with me.
If you are interested in these types of changes in your own life, then this book is for you.
The Toolbox is a manual for fulfilling love and a successful life. It is rooted in science, in the evolutionary biology and psychology of human behavior. It weds these empirical truths with the social and political realities of the modern Western world. The tools that will enable you to mediate these two worlds come from proven spiritual, physical, and philosophical systems that have successfully guided humans for thousands of years.
The Toolbox is a rigorous program for successful living for contemporary man. You will eliminate frustration and alienation, master seduction and relationship skills, and do so in a world that is unlike any in human history.
Lets start by taking a look at those modern conditions. It is a war out there, and men are losing the most important battles.
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THE MARGINALIZATION OF MODERN MEN
Hyper-Achieving Women, Underachieving Men. “Women have moved from naturally complementary, to competitive, to conquering the men in their lives” (Waters, 2011).
This transition has been described as a “New Girl Order” (Hymowitz, 2007).
Men today are facing a crisis. We are portrayed in the media and the intellectual world as under-performing miscreants unfit to assume leadership roles in society.
Men are habitually underachieving and delaying adulthood. The result is an increasing inequality between men and women. "Women are not equal to men; they are superior in many ways, and in most ways that will count in the future.” (Konner, 2015) Being born a male is "a birth defect," he declares
Science Proves Women Are Superior To Men (Jensen, 2015)
In a 2011 article, Lazerus explains “Why Women Are the Superior Gender.” In a break down of nine critical measures of success, Lazerus concludes that women are superior in nearly every way. In “a true battle of the sexes, the smart move would be to bet on the women.” “Even narrow-minded, conservative misogynists can't ignore the facts all the time.”
Lazerus is indicative of the massive amount of misandry men face in the modern world. Women, children, and the workplace are often considered better off without us. The only thing we are good at is moving heavy objects around, and technology is making that “skill” obsolete. In fact, a growing number of young men, are becoming unwilling to enter into their traditional social roles, like being fathers or career-driven providers. (Johnson, 2016)
It should be no surprise that many men are simply opting out, not pursuing higher education, careers, families, and leadership roles. Becoming a father and or husband is a very demanding task. Why go though the trials and tribulations inherent in these roles if our society considers them to be marginal endeavors?
I posit that this trend is the rational product of men being alienated and marginalized. The modern western male has been severed from a meaningful role in families, as fathers, husbands, and sources of leadership. It should be no surprise, therefore that the suicide rate is four times more prevalent with men than women.
Women have surpassed men academically from elementary school through college. Most D’s and F’s go to men, and most college degrees go to women. The ratio of female college graduates to male college graduates is approaching two to one. There is a severe shortage of college educated men relative to college educated women (Birfer, 2015).
Financially, women are rapidly reducing the earning gap, a positive development. The downside is that it will not be long until women out earn men. Women in their 20’s currently out earn men of the same age. Gender based earning disparities cause problems regardless of which direction they go.
Another alarming development is that young men prefer video games (Snyder, 2012) and pornography over real dates with women. (Haven, 2016) Men are becoming increasingly feminized. (Ibid). Participation in youth athletics has declined, but for both men and women (2015, Hispanic Institute: 1991-2013 https://www.childtrends.org/indicators/participation-in-school-athletics/).
Male unemployment is higher than female unemployment. (Madlin, 2015)
40% of men between the ages of 18 and 31 still live with their parents. One third of these men are unemployed. (Patton, Fry, 2015)
Today, millions of men sit at home in pajamas, “their moms serving breakfast, while spending the day playing computer games, cooking up half-baked business plans, or vegging out with a six-pack in front of the TV.” (Yarrow, 2015)
67% of marriage age Millennial men are not married. “The inability to provide makes family formation less likely.” (Ibid) These men are permanently behind the rest of the work force and never catch up. Their prolonged adolescence marches straight into old age. (Bureau of Labor Statistics’ time-use data as c.f. by Yarrow, 2015).
Young (and not so young) men are “failing to launch” and I am not sure if I can blame them. If we look at older men who do “launch,” who build careers and families, they are arguably worse off than men living in their parents’ basement.
Hyper-Achieving Women, Underachieving Men. “Women have moved from naturally complementary, to competitive, to conquering the men in their lives” (Waters, 2011).
This transition has been described as a “New Girl Order” (Hymowitz, 2007).
Men today are facing a crisis. We are portrayed in the media and the intellectual world as under-performing miscreants unfit to assume leadership roles in society.
Men are habitually underachieving and delaying adulthood. The result is an increasing inequality between men and women. "Women are not equal to men; they are superior in many ways, and in most ways that will count in the future.” (Konner, 2015) Being born a male is "a birth defect," he declares
Science Proves Women Are Superior To Men (Jensen, 2015)
In a 2011 article, Lazerus explains “Why Women Are the Superior Gender.” In a break down of nine critical measures of success, Lazerus concludes that women are superior in nearly every way. In “a true battle of the sexes, the smart move would be to bet on the women.” “Even narrow-minded, conservative misogynists can't ignore the facts all the time.”
Lazerus is indicative of the massive amount of misandry men face in the modern world. Women, children, and the workplace are often considered better off without us. The only thing we are good at is moving heavy objects around, and technology is making that “skill” obsolete. In fact, a growing number of young men, are becoming unwilling to enter into their traditional social roles, like being fathers or career-driven providers. (Johnson, 2016)
It should be no surprise that many men are simply opting out, not pursuing higher education, careers, families, and leadership roles. Becoming a father and or husband is a very demanding task. Why go though the trials and tribulations inherent in these roles if our society considers them to be marginal endeavors?
I posit that this trend is the rational product of men being alienated and marginalized. The modern western male has been severed from a meaningful role in families, as fathers, husbands, and sources of leadership. It should be no surprise, therefore that the suicide rate is four times more prevalent with men than women.
Women have surpassed men academically from elementary school through college. Most D’s and F’s go to men, and most college degrees go to women. The ratio of female college graduates to male college graduates is approaching two to one. There is a severe shortage of college educated men relative to college educated women (Birfer, 2015).
Financially, women are rapidly reducing the earning gap, a positive development. The downside is that it will not be long until women out earn men. Women in their 20’s currently out earn men of the same age. Gender based earning disparities cause problems regardless of which direction they go.
Another alarming development is that young men prefer video games (Snyder, 2012) and pornography over real dates with women. (Haven, 2016) Men are becoming increasingly feminized. (Ibid). Participation in youth athletics has declined, but for both men and women (2015, Hispanic Institute: 1991-2013 https://www.childtrends.org/indicators/participation-in-school-athletics/).
Male unemployment is higher than female unemployment. (Madlin, 2015)
40% of men between the ages of 18 and 31 still live with their parents. One third of these men are unemployed. (Patton, Fry, 2015)
Today, millions of men sit at home in pajamas, “their moms serving breakfast, while spending the day playing computer games, cooking up half-baked business plans, or vegging out with a six-pack in front of the TV.” (Yarrow, 2015)
67% of marriage age Millennial men are not married. “The inability to provide makes family formation less likely.” (Ibid) These men are permanently behind the rest of the work force and never catch up. Their prolonged adolescence marches straight into old age. (Bureau of Labor Statistics’ time-use data as c.f. by Yarrow, 2015).
Young (and not so young) men are “failing to launch” and I am not sure if I can blame them. If we look at older men who do “launch,” who build careers and families, they are arguably worse off than men living in their parents’ basement.
50% of all marriages fail, and 70% of the time the divorce is initiated by the woman
I will unpack this argument more fully at a later point in this book. I will say upfront that the main reasons women divorce men are not for the reasons expected. Ensuring that women can extricate themselves from men who are abusive, alcoholic, adulterous, or addicted to drugs is the logic behind no fault divorce. However, these reasons constitute a tiny fraction of divorce. The main reason women divorce men is because they fall out of love with them.
This fact is exacerbated by the reality of women being perceived as superior to men. It is hard to love a loser, ask me how I know.
Even if men could stop the inevitable education and career disparities, even if we could somehow convince society that men matter, that fathers matter, that husbands matter, our men would still not be prepared to take on these roles.
The blueprint for fathers and husbands has not changed in 70 years, and the world is much, much different today. Men today are not prepared for love and living. No one is teaching our men how to manage relationships with women so that they will love you, and stay in love with you. Getting a woman to love you, and stay in love with you is the only “power” the modern man has. The problem is, most men are not good at it.
Women fall out of love little by little, and the poor guy usually has no idea what happened when one day she files for divorce. In my years of counseling that has almost always been the pattern. There are a thousand signs, a hundred red flags, but he was unaware. Nearly every time I council a man after divorce, I have been able to document exactly where, when, and how this decline started.
Unfortunately, once a women falls out of love there is nothing you can do.
Its over.
When a woman falls out of love years and years of hard work and sacrifice by men (to build careers and raise families) can be taken away with an angry decision and the stroke of a pen. Your children, your house, your paycheck. All gone. My Toolbox will teach you how to recognize and avoid this slide towards divorce.
A large number of boys grow up in broken homes, without stable relationships with male authority figures. A father, someone who can prepare men for the world is absent. In this manner this legacy of failure will be passed down from generation to generation.
It should be no surprise that many men are choosing to not enter the real world, where their chances of success are extraordinarily low.
Maybe those 30 year old’s who stayed in their parents basement are the smart ones? If we do some rational actor modeling, we will see that for many men getting into the game is simply no longer logical, weighing risk to reward.
I will unpack this argument more fully at a later point in this book. I will say upfront that the main reasons women divorce men are not for the reasons expected. Ensuring that women can extricate themselves from men who are abusive, alcoholic, adulterous, or addicted to drugs is the logic behind no fault divorce. However, these reasons constitute a tiny fraction of divorce. The main reason women divorce men is because they fall out of love with them.
This fact is exacerbated by the reality of women being perceived as superior to men. It is hard to love a loser, ask me how I know.
Even if men could stop the inevitable education and career disparities, even if we could somehow convince society that men matter, that fathers matter, that husbands matter, our men would still not be prepared to take on these roles.
The blueprint for fathers and husbands has not changed in 70 years, and the world is much, much different today. Men today are not prepared for love and living. No one is teaching our men how to manage relationships with women so that they will love you, and stay in love with you. Getting a woman to love you, and stay in love with you is the only “power” the modern man has. The problem is, most men are not good at it.
Women fall out of love little by little, and the poor guy usually has no idea what happened when one day she files for divorce. In my years of counseling that has almost always been the pattern. There are a thousand signs, a hundred red flags, but he was unaware. Nearly every time I council a man after divorce, I have been able to document exactly where, when, and how this decline started.
Unfortunately, once a women falls out of love there is nothing you can do.
Its over.
When a woman falls out of love years and years of hard work and sacrifice by men (to build careers and raise families) can be taken away with an angry decision and the stroke of a pen. Your children, your house, your paycheck. All gone. My Toolbox will teach you how to recognize and avoid this slide towards divorce.
A large number of boys grow up in broken homes, without stable relationships with male authority figures. A father, someone who can prepare men for the world is absent. In this manner this legacy of failure will be passed down from generation to generation.
It should be no surprise that many men are choosing to not enter the real world, where their chances of success are extraordinarily low.
Maybe those 30 year old’s who stayed in their parents basement are the smart ones? If we do some rational actor modeling, we will see that for many men getting into the game is simply no longer logical, weighing risk to reward.
The Toolbox is designed to end this legacy of failure. You will understand relationship dynamics. You will make better decisions not only in your love life but in all of your affairs. You will become a man of high value.
As a former college professor and athletic coach, I have been counseling men for more than 25 years
My goal is to improve the quality of your relationships, life, and health. You will become a strong and confident man. You will master relationships with women and other important people in your world.
With me as your mentor you will blast through barriers and sticking points to get what you want out of life. My program for love and living, what I call The Toolbox, will give you continuous self improvement, emotional strength, psychological stability, physical strength/fitness, and confidence. As the name suggests, The Toolbox will give you tools, skills for living successfully in the modern world.
As stated, the Toolbox began with my own personal failures. Fortunately I found a way up and out. This book is about that process. Today I live a wonderful life, much better than what I deserve. I have a loving family and a beautiful wife who is amazing.
Looking back I can see clearly that there were critical junctures where I was fortunate enough to secure skills for living that turned my life around. At first it was education and athletics, then 12 step programs. These activities enabled me to transform my life.
However I was still a failure when it came to relationships. I was clean, sober, fit and a PhD ABD. You would think women would be beating a path to me. They were not. One time I laid my coat over a puddle so that my date would not get her shoes wet.
Two weeks later, she dumped me.
How could this happen? I did everything I was supposed to do.
I know now that the tools I used to become successful in certain aspects of my life were not the tools I needed for other aspects. The 12 steps of AA will get you sober. They will give you fantastic skills for managing the absurdities of day to day living. They will not get you dates, improve your love life or resolve romantic problems.
So I looked elsewhere. Traditional psychology and gender studies were of no use whatsoever. Later on I will examine these sources and explain why they fail.
However, I had been exposed to cohabitation research and rational actor modeling as part of my academic training. Why do women stay with certain men, and not others? Why do couples divorce? These studies tend to be empirical (hard science driven by data) and utilize rational choice modeling taken from economics.
Fascinatingly, this material DID explain why women leave or stay. Women are making very rational decisions in regards to the choices our society offers them.
I used a great deal of this material as part of my statistical training and when I taught statistics. Charles Murray led me to David Popenoe which led me to Barbara Whitehead and the National Marriage Project. Their work made sense to me immediately, on a visceral level.
I see men blame women for the severe marital problems our society has. They should not. Women are not the problem. The problem is the decisions our society presents them with and the type men our society is producing.
As a former college professor and athletic coach, I have been counseling men for more than 25 years
My goal is to improve the quality of your relationships, life, and health. You will become a strong and confident man. You will master relationships with women and other important people in your world.
With me as your mentor you will blast through barriers and sticking points to get what you want out of life. My program for love and living, what I call The Toolbox, will give you continuous self improvement, emotional strength, psychological stability, physical strength/fitness, and confidence. As the name suggests, The Toolbox will give you tools, skills for living successfully in the modern world.
As stated, the Toolbox began with my own personal failures. Fortunately I found a way up and out. This book is about that process. Today I live a wonderful life, much better than what I deserve. I have a loving family and a beautiful wife who is amazing.
Looking back I can see clearly that there were critical junctures where I was fortunate enough to secure skills for living that turned my life around. At first it was education and athletics, then 12 step programs. These activities enabled me to transform my life.
However I was still a failure when it came to relationships. I was clean, sober, fit and a PhD ABD. You would think women would be beating a path to me. They were not. One time I laid my coat over a puddle so that my date would not get her shoes wet.
Two weeks later, she dumped me.
How could this happen? I did everything I was supposed to do.
I know now that the tools I used to become successful in certain aspects of my life were not the tools I needed for other aspects. The 12 steps of AA will get you sober. They will give you fantastic skills for managing the absurdities of day to day living. They will not get you dates, improve your love life or resolve romantic problems.
So I looked elsewhere. Traditional psychology and gender studies were of no use whatsoever. Later on I will examine these sources and explain why they fail.
However, I had been exposed to cohabitation research and rational actor modeling as part of my academic training. Why do women stay with certain men, and not others? Why do couples divorce? These studies tend to be empirical (hard science driven by data) and utilize rational choice modeling taken from economics.
Fascinatingly, this material DID explain why women leave or stay. Women are making very rational decisions in regards to the choices our society offers them.
I used a great deal of this material as part of my statistical training and when I taught statistics. Charles Murray led me to David Popenoe which led me to Barbara Whitehead and the National Marriage Project. Their work made sense to me immediately, on a visceral level.
I see men blame women for the severe marital problems our society has. They should not. Women are not the problem. The problem is the decisions our society presents them with and the type men our society is producing.
Failure to Launch Syndrome
There is a lot of talk at all levels of our culture about the fact that we are not producing men who are good fathers, husbands, and role models. To put a finer point on the problem, why are so many 30 year old men abdicating their roles for a life on the couch in their parents basement? This phenomena is called The Failure to Launch Syndrome.
The reason is that given the set of choices our society is offering, it is simply not worth the effort to build a career, marry and start a family. Why? Because chances are all your plans and hard work will fail. It does not matter how hard you work. It does not matter if you are a good husband and father. Even if you were lucky and your family survived our cultural onslaught upon men, these roles are not valued in our current society. A failure to launch is rational.
Why would an intelligent creature put his heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into something that can easily be taken away?
If we construct a model based upon evolutionary biology, evolutionary psychology, and rational choice theory it will consistently explain why women stay with or leave men. It will also explain why so many men are opting out.
These models explain why more than half of all marriages end and why the decision to divorce is made by the women.
Of course, these disciplines do not offer a solution. I had to look elsewhere.
In my search for answers I became involved with the seduction community. I found that their material had roots in academic sub-fields like evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology.
Too my amazement, all these disciplines produced very similar explanations of why relationships succeed or fail. There are two variables that drive my conclusions. First, women generally make all the major decisions in a relationship. Second, once you get past all the smoke and nonsense about why relationships end you will see that women leave for one overriding reason: They fall out of love.
The takeaway of all this dictates that there is one, and only one thing men can do when it comes to relationships: Keep your partner in love with you.
Unfortunately, we are failing.
There is a lot of talk at all levels of our culture about the fact that we are not producing men who are good fathers, husbands, and role models. To put a finer point on the problem, why are so many 30 year old men abdicating their roles for a life on the couch in their parents basement? This phenomena is called The Failure to Launch Syndrome.
The reason is that given the set of choices our society is offering, it is simply not worth the effort to build a career, marry and start a family. Why? Because chances are all your plans and hard work will fail. It does not matter how hard you work. It does not matter if you are a good husband and father. Even if you were lucky and your family survived our cultural onslaught upon men, these roles are not valued in our current society. A failure to launch is rational.
Why would an intelligent creature put his heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into something that can easily be taken away?
If we construct a model based upon evolutionary biology, evolutionary psychology, and rational choice theory it will consistently explain why women stay with or leave men. It will also explain why so many men are opting out.
These models explain why more than half of all marriages end and why the decision to divorce is made by the women.
Of course, these disciplines do not offer a solution. I had to look elsewhere.
In my search for answers I became involved with the seduction community. I found that their material had roots in academic sub-fields like evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology.
Too my amazement, all these disciplines produced very similar explanations of why relationships succeed or fail. There are two variables that drive my conclusions. First, women generally make all the major decisions in a relationship. Second, once you get past all the smoke and nonsense about why relationships end you will see that women leave for one overriding reason: They fall out of love.
The takeaway of all this dictates that there is one, and only one thing men can do when it comes to relationships: Keep your partner in love with you.
Unfortunately, we are failing.
Lessons from my students
When I was teaching I would have students come in looking for help in terms of their papers and tests. Invariably, the conversation would turn to their private life’s. Usually we ended up talking about their relationships. Should I stay or should I go, should I move out, should I get a divorce? Time after time I would have these types of discussions, and when it came to men they often made bad decisions.
For example, I had a student return from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. He was in school full time and not employed. He also had PTSD. His wife, the primary breadwinner, was upset with him for not having a job and kicked him out of their apartment.
The student asked me for advice. He wanted to make an immediate decision. He met someone else, and felt that he could not date her unless he filed for divorce.
He was unable to see beyond this immediate choice. I asked him “why are you in such a hurry to get a divorce? Did you know there was a study of men just like you in the cohabitation literature?” (Popenoe) People like yourself were on the verge of divorce. Some divorced, and some stayed married. Those that stayed married were happier than those that divorced.”
He replied “but I have to get divorced before I can date this other gal.”
I asked “did you leave your wife voluntarily, or did she kick you out?”
“She kicked me out”, he replied.
I responded “you fought for your country and as a consequence have PTSD...you are getting therapy and going to school full time, correct?
Your wife has, in my opinion, violated your wedding vows. Remember the part about sickness and health? As such you are no longer bound by your vows.
You do not need a divorce to date this other woman. In fact, the decision to divorce is usually made by the woman, not the man. Ultimately, she will decide if the two of you stay together.
Don’t do anything drastic. Give her time to make the decision. There is a strong possibility that she will realize that her life is better with you than without. Leaving her alone, not trying to force action may re-ignite her love for you. Women love it when men step back and let them figure things out for themselves.
In the meantime focus upon your recovery and your grades. These are the things in your life that you can control. You cannot control your wife. Leave her alone and she will decide if you stay together.
Be honest with the new woman about your situation. Let her make an informed decision about your relationship. Do not lie.”
Men today must understand that there are many things they can’t control. People, places, things...the world is going to do what the world is going to do. All you can control is how you respond. Focus on that.
Women are going to do what women are going to do. Stay out of that process. Stay in YOUR process. You have power in that domain.
When women do things I find unacceptable, I don’t try and change that. I also do not have to accept bad behavior. I move on.
Getting good at this process gives you power. Women will fall in love with you. They will know that other women desire you. They will demand your time. They will supplicate to you for exclusivity.
These are quotes from my own experiences. “Marry me now!” “Marry me and I will suck your d!&k….twice a day every day.” “Marry me and I will buy you a Corvette.” “I want a ring on this finger.” “Marry me and I will give it to you….all!” “I don’t care if you are seeing other women, I am going to fight for you.” “Get me pregnant I will give you ten thousand dollars.”
The Toolbox: Dr Reed’s Guide for Modern Men
Do modern men need a Toolbox for living? Men have done well for more than 60 thousand years, what is so different now from the way things were?
The answer, as illustrated by the example just given, is yes. Modern men are desperately in need of a users manual for love and living. This fact affects much more than men, it affects women, children and society as a whole. Men matter. Contrary to public opinion our role as fathers, husbands, and leaders are important. (Raeburn, 2014, Brotherson, White, et al 2006)
The old, obsolete model would have us “take charge” of the situation. Use our economic superiority and role as the head of the household to control the situation and force that solution upon our wife. The days of the utility of that strategy are long gone.
When I was teaching I would have students come in looking for help in terms of their papers and tests. Invariably, the conversation would turn to their private life’s. Usually we ended up talking about their relationships. Should I stay or should I go, should I move out, should I get a divorce? Time after time I would have these types of discussions, and when it came to men they often made bad decisions.
For example, I had a student return from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. He was in school full time and not employed. He also had PTSD. His wife, the primary breadwinner, was upset with him for not having a job and kicked him out of their apartment.
The student asked me for advice. He wanted to make an immediate decision. He met someone else, and felt that he could not date her unless he filed for divorce.
He was unable to see beyond this immediate choice. I asked him “why are you in such a hurry to get a divorce? Did you know there was a study of men just like you in the cohabitation literature?” (Popenoe) People like yourself were on the verge of divorce. Some divorced, and some stayed married. Those that stayed married were happier than those that divorced.”
He replied “but I have to get divorced before I can date this other gal.”
I asked “did you leave your wife voluntarily, or did she kick you out?”
“She kicked me out”, he replied.
I responded “you fought for your country and as a consequence have PTSD...you are getting therapy and going to school full time, correct?
Your wife has, in my opinion, violated your wedding vows. Remember the part about sickness and health? As such you are no longer bound by your vows.
You do not need a divorce to date this other woman. In fact, the decision to divorce is usually made by the woman, not the man. Ultimately, she will decide if the two of you stay together.
Don’t do anything drastic. Give her time to make the decision. There is a strong possibility that she will realize that her life is better with you than without. Leaving her alone, not trying to force action may re-ignite her love for you. Women love it when men step back and let them figure things out for themselves.
In the meantime focus upon your recovery and your grades. These are the things in your life that you can control. You cannot control your wife. Leave her alone and she will decide if you stay together.
Be honest with the new woman about your situation. Let her make an informed decision about your relationship. Do not lie.”
Men today must understand that there are many things they can’t control. People, places, things...the world is going to do what the world is going to do. All you can control is how you respond. Focus on that.
Women are going to do what women are going to do. Stay out of that process. Stay in YOUR process. You have power in that domain.
When women do things I find unacceptable, I don’t try and change that. I also do not have to accept bad behavior. I move on.
Getting good at this process gives you power. Women will fall in love with you. They will know that other women desire you. They will demand your time. They will supplicate to you for exclusivity.
These are quotes from my own experiences. “Marry me now!” “Marry me and I will suck your d!&k….twice a day every day.” “Marry me and I will buy you a Corvette.” “I want a ring on this finger.” “Marry me and I will give it to you….all!” “I don’t care if you are seeing other women, I am going to fight for you.” “Get me pregnant I will give you ten thousand dollars.”
The Toolbox: Dr Reed’s Guide for Modern Men
Do modern men need a Toolbox for living? Men have done well for more than 60 thousand years, what is so different now from the way things were?
The answer, as illustrated by the example just given, is yes. Modern men are desperately in need of a users manual for love and living. This fact affects much more than men, it affects women, children and society as a whole. Men matter. Contrary to public opinion our role as fathers, husbands, and leaders are important. (Raeburn, 2014, Brotherson, White, et al 2006)
The old, obsolete model would have us “take charge” of the situation. Use our economic superiority and role as the head of the household to control the situation and force that solution upon our wife. The days of the utility of that strategy are long gone.
Men, the Media, and the Village Idiot
According to Suzanne Venker (2013) in the span of a few short decades, the feminist “movement managed to demote its men from respected providers and protectors of the family to superfluous buffoons.”
“Name a sitcom from 1970 forward that depicts a strong, responsible, intelligent father figure.” (Ibid.) Fathers in sitcoms “are depicted as immature, dumb, lazy and incompetent. Do we seriously believe this drumbeat of messages has no impact?” writes New York Times author Allan Bird (as c.f. by Venker).
Venker continues, “It has major impact. Today’s sitcoms, and commercials, routinely paint a portrait of the idiot husband whose wife is smarter and more capable than he. Ward Cleaver is long gone...We are left with The New Dad: unemployed, unaware, and thoroughly emasculated.” (Venker)
This kind of “male bashing, which almost always falls under the radar, is par for the course in modern America.” (Ibid)
In a CNN interview with Maureen Dowd, the author was asked about her 2005 book, Are Men Necessary? Dowd concluded that the answer was no: “Now that women don’t need men to reproduce and refinance, the question is, will we keep you around?” “Dowd stated “we need you in the way we need ice cream—you’ll be more ornamental.”
Are these claims true? Are men idiots? What does this mean for society? If men are unimportant, then it should not matter if they are marginalized and alienated?
It does matter
The empirical evidence we have from decades of data proves that the role of a father is critical and that children raised without fathers have far worse outcomes than children raised in traditional two parent families. According to a meta analysis (a study of studies) 92 studies found that children of divorce had far worse outcomes across a variety of measures relative to children of intact families. (Amato, Bruce 1991). Children do better when they live with their own two married parents.
Children from single-mother families are at increased risk of psychosocial morbidity, troublesome traits that are based on items like an individual's socialization skills and psychological growth.
Single-mother family status on its own is a significant predictor of all child difficulties. (Lipman et. Al , 2000)
Children of divorce have much higher rates of alcoholism and drug addiction, higher rates of incarceration, higher rates of mental illness, lower rates of academic achievement, lower rates of career achievement, higher rates of divorce when they marry. Popenoe 1996, 2011, Sayers 1998, Jeynes 2002, Sanderson 2009, Huss 2008,
As far as parents are concerned, married people are better off financially. Marriage is associated with better health, sex and safety for men and women.
Longitudinal studies have examined couples that were on the verge of divorce. Some couples stay married, some did not. The couples that stayed married had far superior outcomes compared with those that divorced. Women and men benefited greatly.
The Western world has a disdain for men
The science proves that men matter, but popular opinion and Gender studies reject this empirical evidence. In fact there is a name for this phenomena. It is called “speaking truth to power.” A famous conclusion of this literature is that “women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle”. (Dunn 1970).
A 2011 poll of 2,000 women failed to find ONE woman who was completely happy with her man. (Remington, as c.f. Daily Mail, 2011)
That is why we must look to other fields for our information. Gender studies are normative, not scientific, and highly biased. Traditional psychology is not much better. Mainstream psychologists and psychiatrists are utter failures when it comes to teaching men.
We must look elsewhere for our solutions. In Political Science the quantitative studies of cohabitation and social welfare policy are well done and give us good insight. Rational Actor modeling (taken from economics) does an extremely good job of predicting social welfare behavior. 1
The same is true with evolutionary biology, and evolutionary psychology.
Well designed empirical studies (that means they are based upon the scientific method) have overwhelmingly supported the superiority of the traditional nuclear family.
Everyone wins when we have intact nuclear families. Ultimately, it is usually the woman who makes the decision as to whether a couple says married or not. The only power that men have is the power of love. It is critical for society, for our future that men develop the skills, the tools they need to keep women in love.
Women communicate and keep score differently
Men do not understand how women communicate and keep score. They communicate and keep score differently. Furthermore, women keep score constantly. Most men do not understand this fact. They don’t see that they are losing love points daily. They only know that she is arguing with him every day, she is overly critical and nags incessantly. These are signs that she is falling out of love.
You MUST identify these signs and tests when they are happening, and respond correctly. If you get angry, argue with her, you fail the test. If you stay calm, rational, and utilize the tools I give you, you WILL pass these tests with straight A's. By doing so your woman will love you a little bit more each day.
Do not think that buying your wife an expensive gift will give you a ton of love points. It does not work like that. Buy her a $60k Lexus? One point. Listen to her talk about her day without going into (typical male) problem solving mode, one point.
Resist her attempt to argue, one point. It is absolutely critical to get these daily points. Doing so keeps a woman in love with you. Expensive gifts elevate her value above yours and don’t work.
1. Charles Murray is a good example. Murray, using rational actor modeling explained why a women would chose to be an unmarried mother. It is because she would get more from the dstate than she would if she split the fathers paycheck.
According to Suzanne Venker (2013) in the span of a few short decades, the feminist “movement managed to demote its men from respected providers and protectors of the family to superfluous buffoons.”
“Name a sitcom from 1970 forward that depicts a strong, responsible, intelligent father figure.” (Ibid.) Fathers in sitcoms “are depicted as immature, dumb, lazy and incompetent. Do we seriously believe this drumbeat of messages has no impact?” writes New York Times author Allan Bird (as c.f. by Venker).
Venker continues, “It has major impact. Today’s sitcoms, and commercials, routinely paint a portrait of the idiot husband whose wife is smarter and more capable than he. Ward Cleaver is long gone...We are left with The New Dad: unemployed, unaware, and thoroughly emasculated.” (Venker)
This kind of “male bashing, which almost always falls under the radar, is par for the course in modern America.” (Ibid)
In a CNN interview with Maureen Dowd, the author was asked about her 2005 book, Are Men Necessary? Dowd concluded that the answer was no: “Now that women don’t need men to reproduce and refinance, the question is, will we keep you around?” “Dowd stated “we need you in the way we need ice cream—you’ll be more ornamental.”
Are these claims true? Are men idiots? What does this mean for society? If men are unimportant, then it should not matter if they are marginalized and alienated?
It does matter
The empirical evidence we have from decades of data proves that the role of a father is critical and that children raised without fathers have far worse outcomes than children raised in traditional two parent families. According to a meta analysis (a study of studies) 92 studies found that children of divorce had far worse outcomes across a variety of measures relative to children of intact families. (Amato, Bruce 1991). Children do better when they live with their own two married parents.
Children from single-mother families are at increased risk of psychosocial morbidity, troublesome traits that are based on items like an individual's socialization skills and psychological growth.
Single-mother family status on its own is a significant predictor of all child difficulties. (Lipman et. Al , 2000)
Children of divorce have much higher rates of alcoholism and drug addiction, higher rates of incarceration, higher rates of mental illness, lower rates of academic achievement, lower rates of career achievement, higher rates of divorce when they marry. Popenoe 1996, 2011, Sayers 1998, Jeynes 2002, Sanderson 2009, Huss 2008,
As far as parents are concerned, married people are better off financially. Marriage is associated with better health, sex and safety for men and women.
Longitudinal studies have examined couples that were on the verge of divorce. Some couples stay married, some did not. The couples that stayed married had far superior outcomes compared with those that divorced. Women and men benefited greatly.
The Western world has a disdain for men
The science proves that men matter, but popular opinion and Gender studies reject this empirical evidence. In fact there is a name for this phenomena. It is called “speaking truth to power.” A famous conclusion of this literature is that “women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle”. (Dunn 1970).
A 2011 poll of 2,000 women failed to find ONE woman who was completely happy with her man. (Remington, as c.f. Daily Mail, 2011)
That is why we must look to other fields for our information. Gender studies are normative, not scientific, and highly biased. Traditional psychology is not much better. Mainstream psychologists and psychiatrists are utter failures when it comes to teaching men.
We must look elsewhere for our solutions. In Political Science the quantitative studies of cohabitation and social welfare policy are well done and give us good insight. Rational Actor modeling (taken from economics) does an extremely good job of predicting social welfare behavior. 1
The same is true with evolutionary biology, and evolutionary psychology.
Well designed empirical studies (that means they are based upon the scientific method) have overwhelmingly supported the superiority of the traditional nuclear family.
Everyone wins when we have intact nuclear families. Ultimately, it is usually the woman who makes the decision as to whether a couple says married or not. The only power that men have is the power of love. It is critical for society, for our future that men develop the skills, the tools they need to keep women in love.
Women communicate and keep score differently
Men do not understand how women communicate and keep score. They communicate and keep score differently. Furthermore, women keep score constantly. Most men do not understand this fact. They don’t see that they are losing love points daily. They only know that she is arguing with him every day, she is overly critical and nags incessantly. These are signs that she is falling out of love.
You MUST identify these signs and tests when they are happening, and respond correctly. If you get angry, argue with her, you fail the test. If you stay calm, rational, and utilize the tools I give you, you WILL pass these tests with straight A's. By doing so your woman will love you a little bit more each day.
Do not think that buying your wife an expensive gift will give you a ton of love points. It does not work like that. Buy her a $60k Lexus? One point. Listen to her talk about her day without going into (typical male) problem solving mode, one point.
Resist her attempt to argue, one point. It is absolutely critical to get these daily points. Doing so keeps a woman in love with you. Expensive gifts elevate her value above yours and don’t work.
1. Charles Murray is a good example. Murray, using rational actor modeling explained why a women would chose to be an unmarried mother. It is because she would get more from the dstate than she would if she split the fathers paycheck.
You might think “I am too young to get married. I just want to be able to get a date.”
You are absolutely correct. The last thing I am recommending is that untrained young men under the age of 30 need to get married. You must first become a man of high value. Your transformation will not happen overnight. All the slick pick up and seduction techniques will not work unless you have something to offer.
You must first master the daily behavior and mindset necessary for keeping a woman in love. You must master your emotions. As with so many things, it requires work and discipline.
Relationship fitness, emotional fitness, spiritual fitness….they are similar to physical fitness in this manner.
You do not sit around on your butt eating cheesy poofs all week, and then go to the gym on Saturday for 3 hours and get in shape. Sorry, it does not work like that. You go to the gym five or six times a week for 45 minutes each time. That is how you get in shape.
Relationship fitness works the same way. It requires daily maintenance. Your wife comes home from work and wants to talk about her day. You listen for 5 minutes and keep your mouth shut. Pretend you care, even if you don’t. Don’t try and solve her problems. She already knows what she is going to do.
You just earned one love point.
Your wife/girlfriend tries to start an argument. She is testing you. Don’t fail the test. You fail the test if you allow yourself to be drawn into the argument. She will perceive it as weakness….because it is weakness.
Refuse to be drawn in. Control your behavior. Move the conversation onto another topic.
Congratulations, you just earned another love point. It is work, guys, but it is not a lot of work if you do your daily love maintenance. 10 minutes total and your wife loves you more now than she did 15 minutes ago.
You must develop these skills. The Toolbox will get you ready. Practice consistently and you will intuitively be able to manage situations that used to bewilder you. Eventually, it will come naturally.
It took me eight years to perfect my system, but once I did results came quickly. During that time I made lots of mistakes and dated dozens of women. Eventually I made very few mistakes. During my last two years of fine tuning I had five women pressure me for marriage.
The Toolbox is designed to prevent mistakes.
At the start of this process I made mistake after mistake. I fell into a state of defeat and demoralization. I had nothing to offer, and no decent woman wanted anything to do with me.
If you looked at a dictionary under the word loser you would see my picture. To say I needed to get my act together was a massive understatement.
Before a man can even think about getting married he needs to go through a process of self improvement. The Toolbox is all about this process.
You first need to become a high value man. You need to develop your mind and spirit. You need to manage your emotions, your reactions and your behavior.
Constant growth and improvement become your mission. You won’t be perfect, but you will make progress.
You will develop tools that enable you to deal with the frustrations and difficulties of day to day life. You must cleanse and focus your thought process. Each day you will get a little bit stronger.
You must free yourself from destructive thinking.
Success does not happen overnight. You will make many mistakes as you develop yourself into a man of value, but the number of mistakes will diminish.
That is why you need to do lots of dating. Dating is a critical part of your training. The Toolbox will enable you to meet and date many women. It is a numbers game. All the time you will be developing your skills. Most relationships fail. With my training, you will be ready when the right gal comes along.
You are absolutely correct. The last thing I am recommending is that untrained young men under the age of 30 need to get married. You must first become a man of high value. Your transformation will not happen overnight. All the slick pick up and seduction techniques will not work unless you have something to offer.
You must first master the daily behavior and mindset necessary for keeping a woman in love. You must master your emotions. As with so many things, it requires work and discipline.
Relationship fitness, emotional fitness, spiritual fitness….they are similar to physical fitness in this manner.
You do not sit around on your butt eating cheesy poofs all week, and then go to the gym on Saturday for 3 hours and get in shape. Sorry, it does not work like that. You go to the gym five or six times a week for 45 minutes each time. That is how you get in shape.
Relationship fitness works the same way. It requires daily maintenance. Your wife comes home from work and wants to talk about her day. You listen for 5 minutes and keep your mouth shut. Pretend you care, even if you don’t. Don’t try and solve her problems. She already knows what she is going to do.
You just earned one love point.
Your wife/girlfriend tries to start an argument. She is testing you. Don’t fail the test. You fail the test if you allow yourself to be drawn into the argument. She will perceive it as weakness….because it is weakness.
Refuse to be drawn in. Control your behavior. Move the conversation onto another topic.
Congratulations, you just earned another love point. It is work, guys, but it is not a lot of work if you do your daily love maintenance. 10 minutes total and your wife loves you more now than she did 15 minutes ago.
You must develop these skills. The Toolbox will get you ready. Practice consistently and you will intuitively be able to manage situations that used to bewilder you. Eventually, it will come naturally.
It took me eight years to perfect my system, but once I did results came quickly. During that time I made lots of mistakes and dated dozens of women. Eventually I made very few mistakes. During my last two years of fine tuning I had five women pressure me for marriage.
The Toolbox is designed to prevent mistakes.
At the start of this process I made mistake after mistake. I fell into a state of defeat and demoralization. I had nothing to offer, and no decent woman wanted anything to do with me.
If you looked at a dictionary under the word loser you would see my picture. To say I needed to get my act together was a massive understatement.
Before a man can even think about getting married he needs to go through a process of self improvement. The Toolbox is all about this process.
You first need to become a high value man. You need to develop your mind and spirit. You need to manage your emotions, your reactions and your behavior.
Constant growth and improvement become your mission. You won’t be perfect, but you will make progress.
You will develop tools that enable you to deal with the frustrations and difficulties of day to day life. You must cleanse and focus your thought process. Each day you will get a little bit stronger.
You must free yourself from destructive thinking.
Success does not happen overnight. You will make many mistakes as you develop yourself into a man of value, but the number of mistakes will diminish.
That is why you need to do lots of dating. Dating is a critical part of your training. The Toolbox will enable you to meet and date many women. It is a numbers game. All the time you will be developing your skills. Most relationships fail. With my training, you will be ready when the right gal comes along.
Science tells us what is, and philosophy tells us what should be
Philosophy is a wonderful discipline. Philosophy answers serious and important questions about the human condition. I have an MA in Political Theory, and it was my minor field for my PhD.
Plato’s Republic and the encouragement of professors drove my decision to pursue graduate work.
Philosophy tells us it is unjust to abuse and or marginalize others. Human beings have certain fundamental natural rights that should be guaranteed simply on the basis of being human. That fact is what Thomas Jefferson was referring to when he claimed that natural rights were inalienable and universal. Our laws must not infringe upon our natural rights.
These fundamental human rights must not be surrendered. If they are, our government becomes illegitimate.
The right to your family is one of the most basic rights. It is wrong to take a person’s property and family, regardless of whether or not that person is a male or female. Our divorce and cohabitation laws violate our natural rights. Our social welfare laws are tied to a world that no longer exists, a world that ended a long time ago. The 1930’s are distant history, and call for policy that is very different than what is needed today.
Men have dominated the world for tens of thousands of years. Women have been subjugated and often abused at the hands of men, and civilization has done very little to protect them. For millennia the world has been a harsh place for women.
That is why social welfare policy was designed to protect women and children. 100 years ago women were not getting their basic human rights protected.
Furthermore, divorce laws were based upon a man doing bad things: Being physically abusive, committing adultery, being alcoholic and or drug addicted, excessive gambling.
The rational was that men who did these things, who violated the marriage contract deserved to get his punishment.
You beat your wife and children? We take your house, we take your children, and we take a big chunk of your paycheck.
This is absolutely reasonable. Such a man got what he deserved.
But that is not why women divorce today. Far and away the biggest cause of divorce is not cheating, abusing, drinking, or gambling. These acts constituted a very small fraction of the reasons for divorce.
The number one reason is that women fall out of love with a man.
Social welfare policy is based on assumptions that are more than 80 years old. The Western world today is very, very different. Policymakers are making decisions based upon ancient history. 1
1.Abuse of women has been effectively curbed in modern Western society. It still goes on in many less developed places in the world.
Philosophy is a wonderful discipline. Philosophy answers serious and important questions about the human condition. I have an MA in Political Theory, and it was my minor field for my PhD.
Plato’s Republic and the encouragement of professors drove my decision to pursue graduate work.
Philosophy tells us it is unjust to abuse and or marginalize others. Human beings have certain fundamental natural rights that should be guaranteed simply on the basis of being human. That fact is what Thomas Jefferson was referring to when he claimed that natural rights were inalienable and universal. Our laws must not infringe upon our natural rights.
These fundamental human rights must not be surrendered. If they are, our government becomes illegitimate.
The right to your family is one of the most basic rights. It is wrong to take a person’s property and family, regardless of whether or not that person is a male or female. Our divorce and cohabitation laws violate our natural rights. Our social welfare laws are tied to a world that no longer exists, a world that ended a long time ago. The 1930’s are distant history, and call for policy that is very different than what is needed today.
Men have dominated the world for tens of thousands of years. Women have been subjugated and often abused at the hands of men, and civilization has done very little to protect them. For millennia the world has been a harsh place for women.
That is why social welfare policy was designed to protect women and children. 100 years ago women were not getting their basic human rights protected.
Furthermore, divorce laws were based upon a man doing bad things: Being physically abusive, committing adultery, being alcoholic and or drug addicted, excessive gambling.
The rational was that men who did these things, who violated the marriage contract deserved to get his punishment.
You beat your wife and children? We take your house, we take your children, and we take a big chunk of your paycheck.
This is absolutely reasonable. Such a man got what he deserved.
But that is not why women divorce today. Far and away the biggest cause of divorce is not cheating, abusing, drinking, or gambling. These acts constituted a very small fraction of the reasons for divorce.
The number one reason is that women fall out of love with a man.
Social welfare policy is based on assumptions that are more than 80 years old. The Western world today is very, very different. Policymakers are making decisions based upon ancient history. 1
1.Abuse of women has been effectively curbed in modern Western society. It still goes on in many less developed places in the world.
This is all bs put out by misandrists and men who are ****ting their pants about men not being in complete control of everything. What's really going on is that women want to compete with men. Now they are unhappy that it's harder to find a man in a financial situation that allows him to lead and be a provider. Also, men are becoming less interested in women because more and more women are becoming branch swinging fat pigs that want to birth illigitimate children. And all this talk about college degrees and men living with parents while unemployed and playing video games is a complete distortion and exaggeration. Both men and women do this. And it's not as many as it's made out to be. The structural changes in the economy have made it difficult for both young men and women to find stable emoyment that pays well. And finally, citing college degree statistics is getting really old. We all know that students are getting deep into student loan debts and seeing little return on investment. I am college educated, and i have a few friends who do better than i do in the trades or something that just doesn't require college.