ONS with hotty weird texts afterwards

[QuadDeuces]

Banged a super hotty last night, hb9, perfect body, perfect face, single and in the field for a while.
I didn't ask the questions I didn't want to know the answers of but she gave me impressions she has been single for a over a year and loving it.
Lots of ****tests, lots of men hitting on her in the bar we went.

She took me home at 2am, and sex was surprisingly good. She busted 3 I busted 2 fwiw.

This morning I woke up horny as **** next to her, I ripped out a condom and banged her again whilst she was half asleep.
She loved it.

Didn't want to linger longer than my expiry date so I hit the shower, kissed her lips and asked her do I see you again, she said yes with a smile and I hit the door at 10am.

Anyway upon arrival home I wanted to show my buddy her pics then I realised she unmatched me at tinder.
I thought, well f*ck it, don't cry over spilt milk, she was probably using me to get back at an ex or something.

I didn't text her all day and at 5pm she sent me an angry text, How I treat women bad, and guys like me is the reason she doesn't want to do ONS anymore.

I sent her, I don't understand what do you mean?

She said: I loved it yesterday but this morning you were extremely selfish, I felt like I was used as a blow up doll this has made me feel werid and turned off.

I sent her: I'm disappointed to hear you didn't think it was a success.

Now 3h later she sends me: It doesn't matter anymore XXX

Every man knows women love being used by "selfish" men, I saw it in her eyes too this morning.
But this possible **** test text convo got my mind in a warp.
How do we proceed from here lads?

 

[sazc]

whoa....proceed with caution!

She sounds a bit whacked. A female that takes you home on the first date and then gets angry that you woke her up and banged her this morning, when she was fine during the banging?
her texts feel bi-polar to me, FWIW

 

[btownbuck2012]

Same thing happened to me recently with a very beautiful Jamaican girl I met online. I had sex with her on the 2nd date and it was a very wild session. She went cold after that saying that I was just using her and that she wanted someone who was going to be serious about her. She changed her title on match.com to "no jokers" a few days after..

I honestly don't know what to say. I definitely don't think it has anything to do with them perceiving us as low value, obviously. I agree with what sazc said. I think women like this have some serious baggage and can flip how they feel about a guy from one minute to the next. But I'm just as confused as you, OP.

How old was your girl?

 

[dustmuffin]

Same thing happened to me recently with a very beautiful Jamaican girl I met online. I had sex with her on the 2nd date and it was a very wild session. She went cold after that saying that I was just using her and that she wanted someone who was going to be serious about her. She changed her title on match.com to "no jokers" a few days after..

I honestly don't know what to say. I definitely don't think it has anything to do with them perceiving us as low value, obviously. I agree with what sazc said. I think women like this have some serious baggage and can flip how they feel about a guy from one minute to the next. But I'm just as confused as you, OP.

How old was your girl?

I had a girl like this that was bi-polar. She said I was her sexual soul mate. She was on and off again. She would come over for rough and degrading sex. She would send wacky texts and I would just ignore and a few days latter she wanted to see me. Finally she said she was introduced to a nice guy by her priest and wanted to see where that went. I just said good for you. If you want good sex and change your mind she knew where to find me. She was a mess but kept coming at least for a while. I knew what she was so I didn't invest at all. I expect to hear from her down the road. If I don't, its no big deal. Plenty of women to be had. I have a date tonight and two on sunday. Then I have one on tuesday. Abundance mentality, live it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I had a girl like this that was bi-polar. She said I was her sexual soul mate. She was on and off again. She would come over for rough and degrading sex. She would send wacky texts and I would just ignore and a few days latter she wanted to see me. Finally she said she was introduced to a nice guy by her priest and wanted to see where that went. I just said good for you. If you want good sex and change your mind she knew where to find me. She was a mess but kept coming at least for a while. I knew what she was so I didn't invest at all. I expect to hear from her down the road. If I don't, its no big deal. Plenty of women to be had. I have a date tonight and two on sunday. Then I have one on tuesday. Abundance mentality, live it.

Lol, women can be such morons.

 

[QuadDeuces]

She is 32.
But the funny thing is, I had just ended a relationship with a borderliner and few weeks/months ago, and when we were in the bar yesterday it was the main convo subject. I was joking to her "With a borderliner you don't need game they do just this and this to you" then I went with my hand under her shirt, and touching her leg and *****.
And I was giving her a "psychopathy checklist" just for fun:
"Ex issues?" Nope only LTR's but a little wild the last year.
"Daddy issues?" Nope parents still happy and together
etc.

Was actually quite fun, she didn't mirror me, or idolise me, she just wanted sex, who am I to complain.

 

[btownbuck2012]

She is 32.
But the funny thing is, I had just ended a relationship with a borderliner and few weeks/months ago, and when we were in the bar yesterday it was the main convo subject. I was joking to her "With a borderliner you don't need game they do just this and this to you" then I went with my hand under her shirt, and touching her leg and *****.
And I was giving her a "psychopathy checklist" just for fun:
"Ex issues?" Nope only LTR's but a little wild the last year.
"Daddy issues?" Nope parents still happy and together
etc.

Was actually quite fun, she didn't mirror me, or idolise me, she just wanted sex, who am I to complain.

I think her age pretty much explains it man. At that age all I have to know is that you banged her after one night at the bar to know she is probably bitter and totally screwed up in the head. No woman her age is happy doing what she did with you last night. I'm not talking about the sex, I'm sure she enjoyed that; I'm talking about the fact that as a woman she is a failure.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Yea you're right, she's going on the backburner.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Yea you're right, she's going on the backburner.

Not even that. Definitely still bang her if you want and can, but her issues are definitely related to her just being an old bitter skag, lol.

 

[sazc]

as a female you really have to be okay with having a ONS and/or sleeping with someone 'early' without understanding of what the relationship is.

A long time ago I wondered if I could be that type of female. I didnt think that was in me, but decided to try. #fail. I felt used, exposed, vulnerable and dirty (like a slut). I decided never to do that again, and I haven't.
I always read what you guys post, about dismissing females if they dont give it up by the end of the second date and chuckle to myself about how none of y'all and I would ever go the distance My current man waited over a month and probably 6 or 7 dates before he got any. But it was clear that we were both looking for a relationship and he was clear that I just wnated to get comfortable.

Here's the punch line - if I dont get comfortable before I sleep with someone I get all up in my head and insecure and behave the way that female is behaving. From my perspective she's (any female who acts like this) acting insecure because, while she wanted to sleep with you, now she feels exposed, vulnerable and is fighting the feeling of simply being used as a cvm dumpster. Of course she really could be a head case, you just dont know.

 

[dustmuffin]

as a female you really have to be okay with having a ONS and/or sleeping with someone 'early' without understanding of what the relationship is.

A long time ago I wondered if I could be that type of female. I didnt think that was in me, but decided to try. #fail. I felt used, exposed, vulnerable and dirty (like a slut). I decided never to do that again, and I haven't.
I always read what you guys post, about dismissing females if they dont give it up by the end of the second date and chuckle to myself about how none of y'all and I would ever go the distance My current man waited over a month and probably 6 or 7 dates before he got any. But it was clear that we were both looking for a relationship and he was clear that I just wnated to get comfortable.

Here's the punch line - if I dont get comfortable before I sleep with someone I get all up in my head and insecure and behave the way that female is behaving. From my perspective she's (any female who acts like this) acting insecure because, while she wanted to sleep with you, now she feels exposed, vulnerable and is fighting the feeling of simply being used as a cvm dumpster. Of course she really could be a head case, you just dont know.

I wouldn't mind waiting if I knew she was only dating me. But that is not the case in most instances. She is stringing you along as a plan B and f ucking some other guy. I don't like being used for dates and being kept around just in case things don't work out. Women are the original plate spinners. They keep their options open and are always on the lookout for a better deal.

 

[sazc]

I wouldn't mind waiting if I knew she was only dating me. But that is not the case in most instances. She is stringing you along as a plan B and f ucking some other guy. I don't like being used for dates and being kept around just in case things don't work out. Women are the original plate spinners. They keep their options open and are always on the lookout for a better deal.

Obviously I cant comment one way or the other on all women and/or this chick and/or the females you have dated. I can only comment on my way of doing things and it is in stark contrast to the experiences that you men generally have.

In this day and age the 'hook up culture' is rampant. That definitely leads to plate spinning on both sides of the gender.

 

[devilkingx2]

I always read what you guys post, about dismissing females if they dont give it up by the end of the second date and chuckle to myself about how none of y'all and I would ever go the distance My current man waited over a month and probably 6 or 7 dates before he got any. But it was clear that we were both looking for a relationship and he was clear that I just wnated to get comfortable.

You sound kind of lame lmao

 

[BeExcellent]

You don't know her & you have no idea who she is. If you enjoyed her in the sack why be so fast to dismiss her?

There are woman who are very sexual. This is a woman who is projecting something from her past onto your experience last night/this morning. Women are shamed right, left & center for their sexuality. Only super slvts don't care about how they are perceived after sex this quickly.

Many women go really insecure after giving up the cookie too fast. It's a horrible strategy for a woman because it creates a terrible cognitive dissonance.

The girl wants to be cool and please you if she likes you...and she may really enjoy sex, but she still needs reassuring after the act has occurred to see that you didn't just toss her out like a used rubber. She can't undo doing you.

It is worse the more beautiful a woman is. Beautiful women are trophies to men. Look at how you started your thread. You see her as a trophy first and a person second, if at all. As an object. That feels cheap to a girl. All men want to fvck a 9. There's not a good way to equate it except to say it's like being really rich and/or really famous.

The rich & famous can end up isolated if they can't tell if someone else likes them for the person they really are or if they are simply being used as social proof or serving some other purpose (being used) to help the user feel cool or powerful or whatever by association.

Beautiful women have to sort out who is with them for looks only and who sees the human being inside the pretty package. Most men don't give a crap about the person in the package, they just want to be able to brag "yup. I bedded THAT. This is hurtful & causes disillusionment in the woman.

That is why you see the behavior you did.

Experienced men understand this.

Rather than say "wow, she's bipolar" like every other dude the best play here for you now is this:

Text: "Hey...had a ton of stuff I had to take care of today..." "Really had a blast with you"..."What are you doing Wednesday...there's XYZ going on. You should join me"

This is a beta throw (obviously). It's purpose is to reassure her you see the person inside the package and also let her know you saw her as more than a ONS and she's worth seeing again. It doesn't mean you want to marry her or be her bf.

If she finds this reassuring her behavior will normalize. If she's really unstable this will just provoke more of the same. In which case I'd say "Wow. I don't know what happened to you, but I didn't do it." From there perhaps a conversation ensues.

See how that assigns accountability to her for the crazy making?

Now before everyone tells me I'm promoting Disney fairy tales: I'm not. OP wanted to know why her behavior. Because she felt used and objectified in the morning after she gave you sex.

Avoidance of the "gee I just got used" feeling is exactly why smart women won't sex you right away. It weeds out the sex only men very effectively.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

How do we proceed from here lads?

My instinct tells me she was hoping to be in the driver's seat, with you the one following her around. If she was just looking for a lay her behavior doesn't jive. But if she "gave you one" with hopes of having a bit of power over you, she was maybe hoping you'd stay around and play the "next morning beta boy" routine. You didn't and it irked her.

And the big span of time between you leaving and her texting gave her plenty of time to run over it in her mind and paint herself the innocent victim, especially when you didn't text five or six times like she was maybe hoping.

I'd bail and call it done.

 

[guru1000]

You don't know her & you have no idea who she is. If you enjoyed her in the sack why be so fast to dismiss her?

There are woman who are very sexual. This is a woman who is projecting something from her past onto your experience last night/this morning. Women are shamed right, left & center for their sexuality. Only super slvts don't care about how they are perceived after sex this quickly.

Many women go really insecure after giving up the cookie too fast. It's a horrible strategy for a woman because it creates a terrible cognitive dissonance.

The girl wants to be cool and please you if she likes you...and she may really enjoy sex, but she still needs reassuring after the act has occurred to see that you didn't just toss her out like a used rubber. She can't undo doing you.

It is worse the more beautiful a woman is. Beautiful women are trophies to men. Look at how you started your thread. You see her as a trophy first and a person second, if at all. As an object. That feels cheap to a girl. All men want to fvck a 9. There's not a good way to equate it except to say it's like being really rich and/or really famous.

The rich & famous can end up isolated if they can't tell if someone else likes them for the person they really are or if they are simply being used as social proof or serving some other purpose (being used) to help the user feel cool or powerful or whatever by association.

Beautiful women have to sort out who is with them for looks only and who sees the human being inside the pretty package. Most men don't give a crap about the person in the package, they just want to be able to brag "yup. I bedded THAT. This is hurtful & causes disillusionment in the woman.

That is why you see the behavior you did.

Experienced men understand this.

Rather than say "wow, she's bipolar" like every other dude the best play here for you now is this:

Text: "Hey...had a ton of stuff I had to take care of today..." "Really had a blast with you"..."What are you doing Wednesday...there's XYZ going on. You should join me"

This is a beta throw (obviously). It's purpose is to reassure her you see the person inside the package and also let her know you saw her as more than a ONS and she's worth seeing again. It doesn't mean you want to marry her or be her bf.

If she finds this reassuring her behavior will normalize. If she's really unstable this will just provoke more of the same. In which case I'd say "Wow. I don't know what happened to you, but I didn't do it." From there perhaps a conversation ensues.

See how that assigns accountability to her for the crazy making?

Now before everyone tells me I'm promoting Disney fairy tales: I'm not. OP wanted to know why her behavior. Because she felt used and objectified in the morning after she gave you sex.

Avoidance of the "gee I just got used" feeling is exactly why smart women won't sex you right away. It weeds out the sex only men very effectively.

As I read this, I think to myself, "Finally, someone who gets it." Then, I remember, you're a woman

OP, in most cases, following a ONS, the conquest is done; she is already invested--and vulnerable. You proceed with beta throws:

"I had a great time with you last night. You are a great girl and I would definitely like to see you again xo "

 

[sazc]

You sound kind of lame lmao

Lol, I am totally lame

 

[dustmuffin]

Obviously I cant comment one way or the other on all women and/or this chick and/or the females you have dated. I can only comment on my way of doing things and it is in stark contrast to the experiences that you men generally have.

In this day and age the 'hook up culture' is rampant. That definitely leads to plate spinning on both sides of the gender.

As I read this, I think to myself, "Finally, someone who gets it." Then, I remember, you're a woman

OP, in most cases, following a ONS, the conquest is done; she is already invested--and vulnerable. You proceed with beta throws:

"I had a great time with you last night. You are a great girl and I would definitely like to see you again xo "

Thank you for the advice. I will try it. Had a ons a few days ago. Very good sex.

 

[BeExcellent]

As I read this, I think to myself, "Finally, someone who gets it." Then, I remember, you're a woman "

Too funny!!

 

[QuadDeuces]

Thanks guys and galls, you're advice is golden.
I'll think of something smooth and ask her out on a second date.