First Date Flower?

[glowstix]

Well I have to say I have never used the flower on a first date but my buddies insist that this makes a women melt. Actually tonight i have a date and i was thinking of having a flower sitting on the passanger seat when she gets into the car. But there lies one problem what kind of flower is perfect for the first date? I know that a red rose is out of the question.

[J0B00]

Get her a carnation.

[prosemont]

Don't do any flowers, it sends the "nice guy" message. Ie. the WRONG message.

[Ron Juan]

save it for maybe 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th date.. depending on how close you've gotten over the dates and stuff...

Roses are DEFINITELY out of the question... EVEN carnations... find something EXOTIC.. be different!! haha Tulips are pretty cool

hey how about Venus flytrap hehe... that might be interesting

------------------
AOL IM: moronRon
¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤
----------Ron Juan----------
Yo Baby
Yo Baby
Yo

[Kanadasutra]

A cactus flower.

And dont forget the cactus.

She will screem of pleasure when she will sit in your car next to you.

Maybe she will let you rub her ass after that!

Seriously, if you want to go for the flower, just tell her to sit on the backseat and bring them to you old'ma while on your way to your date!

LOL

[RKTek]

NO! Your buddies are AFC's. NO flower. NO gift, no anything special, except the honor of having you in her presence and company.

If she proves herself to you for 3-4 months of dating, no red flags, hugs, kisses and documentable evidence that she thinks you're HOT, then, after a few months can you give her anything.

Gifts up front tell her you feel inadequate and must compensate with trinkets and baubles.

YOU are the prize.

Be a gentelman, be fun, and go for a wet kiss at the end of the date to let her know you have a pair. Keep doing this until she throws up a red flag. If no flag, then gifts.

Until then NO.

[Kanadasutra]

Your giving f*cking good advices RKTek!

But i really tought GlowStix was joking: He his not a newbie here. He should have read many many post about that subject already!

[DocFrankeinstein]

I just dont get u guys.

A flower is fine. Not a big wedding day basket filled with roses. But one single plant or a really small boquet.

It sets the mood, it shows that you have some manners and you automatically get a hug. WHATS WRONG WITH THAT?

And she will decide if you are an afc or not by your actions and not by the flower. If you give a girl a flower and she thinks you're an afc, you are an afc. She will not think this of a true DJ.

Cheers

------------------
If you take love as a crazy gamble
Throw your dice, take your chance
You will see it from a different angle
And you two can join the dance

[Page]

Originally posted by DocFrankeinstein:
I just dont get u guys.


It sets the mood, it shows that you have some manners and you automatically get a hug. WHATS WRONG WITH THAT?

>Hugs are for friends.

And she will decide if you are an afc or not by your actions and not by the flower.

>And giving a flower is na AFC action, like RKTEK said.


If you give a girl a flower and she thinks you're an afc, you are an afc.

>She thinks you're an AFC if you gave her a flower on the first date.

She will not think this of a true DJ.

>B/c A true DJ doesn't give flowers on a first date.

Cheers

[Don_juan]

I generally say don't give them either, but I have given yellow roses before with good results. Here's why.... yellow roses signify "friendship", all girls know the meaning behind each color of rose. I gave them and she was like, "why yellow, am I just your friend". I came back with a "you have to earn my affection, so yes"... now some of you might be saying WTF are you doing? But the rest of the date (I've done this 3 times, all had same result) the girl tried to earn my affection. It turned out like it was setting some challenge for them to earn something from me. I got massive action all 3 times (laid once, bj once and serious heavy petting the other time) and this was first date. I didn't give them roses EVER after that, but it did work the first date with a yellow rose.

Any opinions on that approach?

[killerasp]

Id say its okay. but keep it SIMPLE. Dont go overboard with a boquet bigger than your date. Be unique and dont get stuff anyone would get her (ex: roses)

[[A]rtful[DJ]]

Originally posted by glowstix:
Well I have to say I have never used the flower on a first date but my buddies insist that this makes a women melt. Actually tonight i have a date and i was thinking of having a flower sitting on the passanger seat when she gets into the car. But there lies one problem what kind of flower is perfect for the first date? I know that a red rose is out of the question.

Flowers= melt?
No no..
Flowers= melt Away away from you
Flowers on the passenger seat of the car on the first date will freak her out.
Will almost freak any types of gals out, nice ones, bad ones, neutral ones, infact I cant think of any type of gal that wouldnt freak out.

Even if it doesnt freak her out that dont mean it will earn any brownie points either. It may not be AFC but it is a waste of money.


------------------
Realize that the world is just a stage, and u ll see how easy everything is.

[This message has been edited by [A]rtful[DJ] (edited 08-07-2002).]

[BocaJoe]

DON'T DO IT!!! As a man trying to fight my way out of AFCville, I can say that it has never worked for me, and I have tried it many, many times. During my AFC days, I used to think that giving a flower was the mark of a true gentleman. Now that I have seen the err of my ways I can say that the only thing a flower shows is that you are trying TOO hard. Women are not attracted to guys who try too hard. Be a challenge.

[Canadian Idol]

Buying flowers is the total AFC thing to do, and I should know. I couldnt go out on a date without buying a flower because I thought it would put her one step closer to my heart. WTF was I thinking? They were either thinking.. OMG this guy is pathetic, or I already have this guy right where I want him. Never worked for me and now since I found this site the next date I go on I will not be bringing her a flower.

------------------
Remember, you learn from all your mistakes...

[Pancho]

Giving flowers on the first date is a mistake...big mistake. If a girls interest is high enough, she wont mind...but most girls are still trying to decide if your worth it on the first date, and this will come off as pathetic.

Leaving the flower on the seat when she comes in is DOUBLE pathetic. It kind of signifies you dont have the ballz to just give them to her.

Ive gotten away with giving flowers, but in a completely unconventional way. Once, on a THIRD date, I bought a blue flower (i dont even know what the fvck it was lol), and hid it in my car. After the date, when she went to kiss me as she was leaving, I popped up the flower between us before she could kiss me, pulled back and just grinned at her. She GRABBED me (I felt so damn violated lol) and kissed me. I got laid after our fourth date.

The lesson here is, if your gonna give flowers, do something less cliche....try it Pancho-Style. If your a newbie, forget it all together for at least a couple of months.

Pancho

------------------
If all men were created equal, then how is it im better? --Pancho

[glowstix]

i just posted this question to see what other DJ's do on the first date.

[This message has been edited by glowstix (edited 08-08-2002).]

[Just a girl]

I don't care when you bring flowers on your date, however I do want you to know that you should NEVER EVER bring carnations... this may sound materialistic, but the are the ugliest, nastiest smelling anc cheapest flowers out there. Yuck, carnations... what are you thinking? I'd rather have a handful of dirt and worms than carnations!

[Donnell Juan's RamPaGe]

I have a flower idea. How about buying her some sunflower seeds so she can grow it or eat it, whichever. This will definitely get her attention. Tell her u couldn't afford an actual flower. Or say some crap like "Rather than buying you flowers, I wanted to get u a garden!"

[Kanadasutra]

Originally posted by Donnell Juan's RamPaGe:
I have a flower idea. How about buying her some sunflower seeds so she can grow it or eat it, whichever. This will definitely get her attention. Tell her u couldn't afford an actual flower. Or say some crap like "Rather than buying you flowers, I wanted to get u a garden!"

LOL LOL LOL

I remember that when i was in highschool girls used to each bunch of those seeds. They where making huge pile of that under their desk (disgusting).

Anyway, you dont get idea:

That is not the color, type, number of flowers that is the issue. It the visible and hidden intention that is a problem.

You give flowers to people on the pedestal:

DONT PUT HER ON THE PEDESTAL!

Bible basic! http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/wink.gif

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Generally, there is a major taboo placed by the DJ's on giving flowers on a first date, as it is typically an AFC behavior. Flowers are only acceptible on special occasions, and even then , its questionable. What classifies giving flowers as an AFC behavior however is the mindset behind giving them. The AFC inclination that women want to be wooed, swept of their feet by a romantic and debonaire white knight in ever so shining armor. This establishes his intentions to go to great lengths to win her over...

This having been said, I am reminded of a quote I saw in Glenn O'Brian's ("the style guy") column, I believed it was called the "style manifesto", in GQ magazine some months back. "Style is about is about knowing the rules well enough to challenge them!" Don_juan and Pancho know the rules. They present MARVELOUS examples (marvelous meaning I'm even incorporating them into my arsenal) of how to challenge them. In Pancho's case, he used it to surprise, during what can be an awkward moment, which also makes him more exciting. No wonder she pounced on him! Don takes it a step BEYOND! In Don's case, he completely turns the tables on the girls by using flowers to make it clear to them that THEY are the one's competing for HIS affections, not the reverse. In other words, he does EXACTLY the opposite of the AFC when he bestows a flower on a first date. What could be more Don Juanish?

And so gentlemen, with your style so eloquently demonstrated, I doth my cap to you Pancho, and I bow in recognition of you Don_juan, for having the courage to go against the grain...

-CyranoDeBergerac

------------------
"If we are to change the world we must start with that one corner of it over which we excercise full influence...ourselves."

Of mice and men...which are you?

[This message has been edited by CyranoDeBergerac (edited 08-08-2002).]

[This message has been edited by CyranoDeBergerac (edited 08-08-2002).]

[xblitz44x]

I can't believe this is even an issue. This is the ABC's of what you guys have been studying.

You do not give flowers to a stranger. There is no reason for that. Be honest with yourself for a second, you intend on giving a woman a flower on a first date to gain her approval, nothing more. You can say, "Well it sets the mood, yada yada". Bull****. It sets the mood so that she will like the mood, so that she will like you.

Stop the flower crap, this is elementry material. I thought you guys grew out of this.

-Blitz

[Welsh Employed]

Yeah, feel free to give a flower. It signified thanks for her coming, and shows you are a decent guy.

Nothing wrong with that.

[Ronin]

Thats a big NO. If you give her a flower she will expect it from you in the future. If you wait until later that flower will mean so much more to her since she has never recived any gift from you before. (i dont advise givin any flowers at all unless it's very special). Damn taht was like one of the first things we learned. Not to spend any money on girls aside from the date it's self!!!

Sean

------------------
Never foget your ABCs': Always Be Closing.

[Marquez]

Originally posted by Welsh Employed:
Yeah, feel free to give a flower. It signified thanks for her coming, and shows you are a decent guy.

Nothing wrong with that.
I read this thread because I did a search for "Welsh Employed". He is so full of sh*t, i am lmao ... it signified thanks for her coming lol ... have to read the next one!

[This message has been edited by Marquez (edited 08-09-2002).]

[dantheman]

Ok first of all to any newbie reading this DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

Now with that out of the way I'd just like to say that it is TEROITICLY possible foe a guy to give a girl a flower and still be a DJ:

DJism is more of a set of principles then a set of hard and fast rules. The main principles of DJism include: confidence, control, and challenge etc. Now any thing that meat these principles while avoiding the AFC principles: neediness’, clinginess, desperation and submissiveness qualifies as DJ behavior. Now the reason that we say don't give gifts is because it’s the simplest most reliable effective and practical method of doing this. That being said it is theoretical possible if you’re smooth enough to give a girl a gift and still be a DJ.

In DON_HUANs example:” you have to earn my affection, so yes"... that line pretty much showed that he is confident in control and will be a challenge to her. It also showed he is not clingy or desperate. It can also acts as a neg-hit if the girl has her b!cth sheld up.

So it is possible but it takes a high level of DJism and in the end just not giving them (gift) is still the easiest way to do it.


[This message has been edited by dantheman (edited 08-09-2002).]

[This message has been edited by dantheman (edited 08-09-2002).]

[Rock On]

Ask yourself why you're taking her flowers. If you're doing it because you think it will make up for something or for some other lame reason like that, then please don't. If you can't deliver the flowers like a man, then please don't (the passenger seat thing SCREAMS AFC).

There are, however, at least a couple of times when flowers would be appropriate: First, Don_juan and Pancho had great ideas. Second, if you think it's just a routine thing--a mark of good breeding, then go for it. But only if that's really part of your personality and you can deliver them the right way. You can't fake that sort of thing--but it isn't necessary either so don't feel you have to. It also depends on whether you're going on an ol' fashioned formal date. Then you had better bring flowers. But why are you going on that kind of date?

You also have to feel comfortable with the flowers thing to pull it off. I can handle the flower delivery just fine--it's routine if I decide to do it--but I've never really been able to do the chocolates thing, even though some people swear by it. Now though I'm totally going for that yellow rose thing. Hell yeah.

Oh, one other thing: If she has some flowers in her yard or apartment, you can yank one of those in front of her and present it. Saves money, time and energy, they're HER flowers so she obviously likes them and, hell, you couldn't possibly have thought about it beforehand--right?

[bccorrupt]

"It signified thanks for her coming, and shows you are a decent guy."

P*** on her. She's LUCKY to be coming. Somebody needs to read the DJ bible.

[dantheman]

I forgot to mention that. You say thanks when a person does some very good, out of the ordinary or kind.

The girl has already accepted to be their showing up is what she is supposed to do not some things that you have to thank her for.

[HR]

You can do this instead..........
Go out on a date. Be the gentleman she
expects you to be (opening doors etc).
Then after your date, if it went well or
better, the next day or so, send her flowers or give it to her the next time you see her
on the second or third date. If you
send her flowers at work or at school
thanking her for the opportunity to know
her, then she will know that you have
been thinking about her and those flowers
in her desk will always remind her of you.
Second.....if you are really thinking of
getting her a flower or a bouquet, I suggest
that you buy a flower(s) with the name that
starts WITH THE SAME LETTER OF HER FIRST
NAME (i.e. Lisa=lily, or something like that.) You'll always find the flower with
the first letter of her name. Try going
to a flower shop and they'll help you out
pick the right ones. Who can better pick
the flowers besides than a woman?
Women in general are melt away when they see
flowers from someone who cares. But you must
recognize that every woman has to earn you
affection and attention. Remember, they're
people just like you and I. Its the simple
things that she will appreciate the most.
Any guy can give any woman a flower, but
a man who cares a lot about the woman will
go to extremes to show her that he cares for
her. You want to stand out....then surprise
her by taking her out on a date where she's
never been taken out before (i.e. balloon ride, or cook dinner for her.)
my two cents

[jakethasnake]

An idea:

When you pick the chick up for a date, you should greet her at the door, give her a hug/kiss, give her a simple compliment (don't drool). Lead her to the car, open the door for her. Close it. Upon getting in the car, she should notice an elegant, single stem flower sitting on top of the dashboard (I'd go for the red rose).

When you get in the car, she may have noticed it already (or she may notice a few minutes into the ride, doesn't really matter) and coyly ask you, "Who is that for?" or "Is that for me?"

Just smile and look her in the eye. That should send her the message. Don't nod. Don't say yes or no. Just look at her, smile, and look back at the road. If she get the message she will smile and snatch the rose off the dashboard with her grubby little fingers. She'll hold the flower to her breast and giggle like a 13 year old. The whole night opens up possibilities from then on.

GAME ON!


PS: I don't recommend this for a first date (perhaps others do? I dunno). I think this is a good tactic on the 3rd or 4th date.

[DocFrankeinstein]

Second, if you think it's just a routine thing--a mark of good breeding, then go for it. But only if that's really part of your personality and you can deliver them the right way

Yay. Thats what I've been trying to tell. lol

Why would you give flowers to someone you dont know? She doesnt/may not deserve it.
well, I date people I got to know a little bit. And I already made a pre-scan and made sure that there is something worth going for. If not, then why would you date her???

Or if you dont know her at all you can say: "I know you've done nothing to deserve it, but here you go" This shows that you wont give her anything more unless she gives something back and you're conscious about gifts.

you can buy a small bouquet of fresh grass of some kind for 3-5 bucks. Its not a whole lot. If you're not willing to risk anything you're not gonna get anything.

Cheers

------------------
If you take love as a crazy gamble
Throw your dice, take your chance
You will see it from a different angle
And you two can join the dance

[Pancho]

Forget I said anything. ALL you guys should stop giving girls flowers until at least over 2 months, and then only if shes your EXCLUSIVE girlfriend.

I dont know how many of you are newbies...if your not, then do what you have to because I figure you know what works for you. If your just starting out, then FOLLOW THE BASIC RULES. The way your talking about being "decent guys" has me worried.

You dont want to be decent...you want to be sexy, dangerous, confident, rogueish...not decent *sigh*

Laterz
Pancho

------------------
If all men were created equal, then how is it im better? --Pancho

[Simon Iff]

Originally posted by Welsh Employed:
Yeah, feel free to give a flower. It signified thanks for her coming, and shows you are a decent guy.

What she hears between the lines...

What Welsh really says to her: Here's a flower... Thanks heaps for coming, it really nice of you to go out with a loser like me... I just thought I had to let you know I'm a loser, because I'm such a nice guy I wouldn't won't to mislead you into thinking I'm not... You're so wonderful! Is this pedastool high enough?

Wake up Welsh!

[CyranoDeBergerac]

A very many of you guys are treading dangerous AFC ground here with your advice on flowers. It started off in this thread with a simple exception, and snow balled until it became a hellish yeti of AFC behavior.

Follow the DJ Bible to a 't' in this case. The only way that Pancho and Don_juan avoided this territory was the way it was pulled of and the intentions involved.

Don uses it to take her off the pedastal, and place himself firmly in her stead there, and Pancho creates a playful challenge. (notice it was done AFTER she had shown a very high interest level, and he was simply teasing her, making her more anxious. AND it was on a THIRD date, which is also affectionately known as the "lay date".) And so I stand by my earlier assertion that what these two men did was an element of DJ style, however...

All this stuff about good breeding, and flowers starting with the same letter as her name is anethema to a newbie , and as I said before,you must know the rules well enough (which effectively translates to using them well enough and long enough to understand WHY they're there,and why they work.) to challenge them. And so, until you have firmly established yourself as a DJ, do not even CONSIDER flowers for any reason (save if she's in the hospital with a terminal illness, etc., etc...) And even then you must pause enough to ask yourself what message you're actually sending, and the REAL reason you're doing it.

So newbies, take head, it is a CAPITOL DJ offense to give a flower(s) before the two/three month mark, let alone on a first date, so stay away until you become a true DJ yourself. Also, some of the guys on here might need to reevaluate their AFC/DJ status. Best of luck in life and love brothers.

-CyranoDeBergerac

------------------
"If we are to change the world we must start with that one corner of it over which we excercise full influence...ourselves."

Of mice and men...which are you?


[This message has been edited by CyranoDeBergerac (edited 08-11-2002).]

[Rock On]

Exactly! Can we simplify it to this rule of thumb: If you need to ask whether or how to give a flower, don't. Seriously folks, NOT giving a flower WILL NOT hurt you; giving a flower MIGHT.

[SoSuave.com]

Moving to The Archive.

[gr8one]

Hmmm if a SENIOR DJ, doesn't know what flower to give, if ANY, on the first date,....


Nev'mind,

okay, you've obviously decided to go that route, however if you MUST do the flower thing, BY ALL MEANS stay away from ROSES!


It's just that simple.

idea: MAKE HER A FLOWER!

use paper, or a palm leaf, whatever. That will impress her alot more i guarantee it.

If you want to learn how to make a flower, do a search on the web or something...lol


:cool: