Ex asking to get married? Is this BPD?

[Mantis]

I got an account here after reading about other's relationships with BPD partners and it helped me understand my situation.

She keeps bugging me about getting married, but only now after I feel I should totally move on. Only after I think I understand how crazy she is.

We were together a year, we met in class, she was 20, I was 29, she had a 6 year old. We had a great relationship it seemed, she had breast implants, was pretty hot, trust fund, etc.

When we were first together, the ex came to her place and demanding to get inside and we had to run away. First red flag. She also introduced me to her family immediately and things went well for a long time. She always talked about marriage and stuff.

We had an abortion and a year later she says another ex of hers had a kid and she got pissed and broke up by text message while I was on vacation. She blamed me for it, and for the break, but I suspect there were other intentions. Only a week before she wrote me many love letters stating how much she loved me and how her life is so much better now. She goes to a movie with some guy in the same class right after our break, some guy she was talking to and makes it seem like they are hanging out.

I see if she wants to get married, but shes not sure and wants to date, I refuse. Then she starts dating someone else in the class behind my back. She gets engaged to him very soon (supposedly because she was distraught and not thinking straight. I got pissed at her for being with him and made her upset by what I said).

Then she tries to break it off with him for a long time, and he cries when she does..finally she ends it, but only after talking to me during that time, probably trying to secure a branch swing to me, like she did with him.

Then she is back and forth and wants to be with me, then wants space, etc. We mess around a few times. Then when I see she wants space again, switching gears suddenly again, I cut off all contact. I hate just being strung along cause she seems to dissapear when she has time on her own.

Now she keeps texting me and calling that she wants to get married and will give me BJ's all the time, etc. She has been contacting me for months now...could we really be happy? I think if we it was going to work, she would just want to see me and not be using me as a phone emotional tampon.

I am still pretty grossed out that she used some other guy in the class like me and now is coming back to me saying it was a mistake to leave. Emotionally its been really rough and the thought of being with her doesnt really excite me anymore. I have to see her in class all the time for the next couple years, which sucks. But is this just another BPD that I need to avoid? Is she just full of ****?

[Mantis Toboggan]

She's your ex.

She's crazy.

She had a child at 14.

She's asking you for marriage......as your EX girlfriend.

And you're so confused by this that you needed to ask us about it? Hm. What do you think you should do in this situation? This is a tough one.

I halfway don't believe you, because of how ridiculous this is. But I'm aware of the drama that can occur when two desperate people enter a relationship together. So there is some believeability here.

[pdx1138]

dude are you kidding?

don't even think about getting married to her.

[oneboy21]

this is what you should do "RUN"

[sexysuave]

SHe's 20 and has a 6 year old? LOL Jesus man.. what the hell.. She sounds like a winner!!

[5string]

Another BPD alert thread!

The other guys told you what to do. You'd better listen to them.

[Robert28]

what are you waiting on??? go buy a ring!!! marry that girl!!!! she seems like a GREAT catch! wish i could find me one just like her.....

[joverby]

what are you waiting on??? go buy a ring!!! marry that girl!!!! she seems like a GREAT catch! wish i could find me one just like her.....

I second that notion. Does she have a sister? One that was equally as damaged when she was younger?

[Mantis]

doubel post

[xdreamz]

how perfect! now you can help her and her child through desperate times.

[Mantis]

Okay, I think you guys are trying to say I should move on, but I'm not sure, Just kidding, you are all correct. I need to get away from all the drama emotional BS she is creating to keep me hanging.

I got emotionally invested cause the abortion, and after she got engaged to a guy in our class. She has big boobs, and $$, so I thought it would be a good thing, and we got along. But I have trouble getting over her when I have to see her all the time. The other guy dropped out of school cause she broke off the engagement so she screwed him over.

WTF is wrong with me, I never cared about marriage or committment and she has made me into a little *****.

I will say, though, that I have been with about 7 girls in the past couple months to try and get over her, and also hooked up with her step-sister to try and get revenge and make her hate me. But these things just make her more into me.

[Borknagar]

I got an account here after reading about other's relationships with BPD partners and it helped me understand my situation.

She keeps bugging me about getting married, but only now after I feel I should totally move on. Only after I think I understand how crazy she is.

We were together a year, we met in class, she was 20, I was 29, she had a 6 year old. We had a great relationship it seemed, she had breast implants, was pretty hot, trust fund, etc.

When we were first together, the ex came to her place and demanding to get inside and we had to run away. First red flag. She also introduced me to her family immediately and things went well for a long time. She always talked about marriage and stuff.

We had an abortion and a year later she says another ex of hers had a kid and she got pissed and broke up by text message while I was on vacation. She blamed me for it, and for the break, but I suspect there were other intentions. Only a week before she wrote me many love letters stating how much she loved me and how her life is so much better now. She goes to a movie with some guy in the same class right after our break, some guy she was talking to and makes it seem like they are hanging out.

I see if she wants to get married, but shes not sure and wants to date, I refuse. Then she starts dating someone else in the class behind my back. She gets engaged to him very soon (supposedly because she was distraught and not thinking straight. I got pissed at her for being with him and made her upset by what I said).

Then she tries to break it off with him for a long time, and he cries when she does..finally she ends it, but only after talking to me during that time, probably trying to secure a branch swing to me, like she did with him.

Then she is back and forth and wants to be with me, then wants space, etc. We mess around a few times. Then when I see she wants space again, switching gears suddenly again, I cut off all contact. I hate just being strung along cause she seems to dissapear when she has time on her own.

Now she keeps texting me and calling that she wants to get married and will give me BJ's all the time, etc. She has been contacting me for months now...could we really be happy? I think if we it was going to work, she would just want to see me and not be using me as a phone emotional tampon.

I am still pretty grossed out that she used some other guy in the class like me and now is coming back to me saying it was a mistake to leave. Emotionally its been really rough and the thought of being with her doesnt really excite me anymore. I have to see her in class all the time for the next couple years, which sucks. But is this just another BPD that I need to avoid? Is she just full of ****?


Yeah a kid at 14? Fake tits? You forgot to mention that she is a stripper(or worse). and if she isn't, she either hasn't told you or is thinking about it.

Dude AVOID THIS CHICK! She obviously has HUGE issues and you'll regret the married in weeks not months, I'm sure if your family and friends know her they've already told you to dump her ass.

edit: I missed the last post where you mentioned she has $$ she is definitely AT LEAST a stripper on the side.

[Mantis]

Another BPD alert thread!

The other guys told you what to do. You'd better listen to them.

Yeah I didnt even know what it was before I came to this site...

[Mantis]

She's your ex.

She's crazy.

She had a child at 14.

She's asking you for marriage......as your EX girlfriend.

And you're so confused by this that you needed to ask us about it? Hm. What do you think you should do in this situation? This is a tough one.

I halfway don't believe you, because of how ridiculous this is. But I'm aware of the drama that can occur when two desperate people enter a relationship together. So there is some believeability here.


Thanks - it is truly an obvious choice. I have been brainwashed I think.

[Mantis]

Yeah a kid at 14? Fake tits? You forgot to mention that she is a stripper(or worse). and if she isn't, she either hasn't told you or is thinking about it.

Dude AVOID THIS CHICK! She obviously has HUGE issues and you'll regret the married in weeks not months, I'm sure if your family and friends know her they've already told you to dump her ass.

edit: I missed the last post where you mentioned she has $$ she is definitely AT LEAST a stripper on the side.


Yeah, family and friends say avoid her. Yeah I can see the regret if I do...marriage sucks anyways from what I hear so why torture myself emotionally and get into it.

She has thought about being a stripper....

[Borknagar]

Yeah married to a girl that doesn't seem like trouble is a bad idea, let alone if it's obvious.

If she has $$ like you said, she has not only thought about but is probably doing it right now, she just said she thought about it, just to see your reaction. I think almost everyone on the board can agree with that, unless you know a for sure other way she would be getting money that doesn't seem like a lie, but honestly, how else can a 20 year old have a ton of money? fake tits aren't cheap, and I doubt daddy got them for her.

[Mantis]

Yeah married to a girl that doesn't seem like trouble is a bad idea, let alone if it's obvious.

If she has $$ like you said, she has not only thought about but is probably doing it right now, she just said she thought about it, just to see your reaction. I think almost everyone on the board can agree with that, unless you know a for sure other way she would be getting money that doesn't seem like a lie, but honestly, how else can a 20 year old have a ton of money? fake tits aren't cheap, and I doubt daddy got them for her.

I wish she was, that would be cool, but she's not.

[Borknagar]

Either way dude, she's a mess, as long as you already hit it, it's time to run imo, lol

[5string]

Yeah I didnt even know what it was before I came to this site...Yea well, you'd better study up on it and unfvck yourself right now. This sh!t is serious.

The last thing you need is a BPD F117 Stealth Fighter after your a$$ and doing you in before you see it coming.

Get out now. You've been warned. :trouble:

[Mantis]

Yea well, you'd better study up on it and unfvck yourself right now. This sh!t is serious.

The last thing you need is a BPD F117 Stealth Fighter after your a$$ and doing you in before you see it coming.

Get out now. You've been warned. :trouble:


i contacted her yesterday. ugh i am such a loser.

[vatoloco]

Holy ****! :eek:

"RUN FORREST! RUUUUNNNNN!!!"

[European-DJ]

INSTANT-'restraining order'!!!
Atleast 100 yards!

[r0cky]

Phuck it, just get married.

[HariPoter13]

Phuck it, just get married.
this

[Mantis]

Phuck it, just get married.

I probably would if she didn't f**k some guy in my class for half a year. His weird face is not something I want to think about. SHe is still after me though, and has been for a few months. i am wearing down.

I texted her to test if she just wanted to have sex and thats it. She says, "oh too lat,e I just got married, lol. "
I say, oh damn I wish I coulda warned the guy first, then she calls twice and texts and I dont answer.

I go out and hit on a ton of girls, one of my wingmen always wears a cowboy hat to 'peacock' and I feel like i'd rather take her **** than hang with a quiet little guy wearing a cowboy hat

[sexysuave]

So you can't make any friends other than your buddy with a cowboy hat? So you would rather put up with her sh*t then him? The logic there is ridiculously flawed.

[Mantis]

So you can't make any friends other than your buddy with a cowboy hat? So you would rather put up with her sh*t then him? The logic there is ridiculously flawed.

I was kinda joking actually. This guy wears a cowboy hat and tells me to hold my drink under my waist and his opening line is the "jealous girlfriend" opener. The only time he talks normally is when things are going well for me cause i'm in a convo with a chick, and his normal talk sucks. I have a team of wingmen that all suck actually and it hurts. So yeah, you are right that I should make other friends.

[Johnnyventana]

Dude, post your same story to bpdfamily.com in the newbie section. And then read and read. You'll learn why you are so drawn to her even given all her nonsense, and nonsense you would not put up with from anyone else.

The advice here of RUN is the right advice. As you know though, that isn't as easy as you would like. Find out why, and that will help some.

Oh, and be afraid. Very afraid.

[Alle_Gory]

I texted her to test if she just wanted to have sex and thats it. She says, "oh too lat,e I just got married, lol. "
I say, oh damn I wish I coulda warned the guy first, then she calls twice and texts and I dont answer.

Your mistake was suggesting sex. Don't stick your **** in crazy, otherwise you might not get it back.

At least it could have been worse. You're one of the lucky ones.

[TopGun2000]

damn, she doesn't love you at all, not even a little. that's why she gave you all the s**t.

and you are still thinking of marrying her, where are your balls

[Thundernuts]

Listen mantis. I was with a bipolar chick for about eight months she had a kid when she was seventeen. We broke up and after a couple of months of her sleeping with any guy who wanted her i started messing around with her again. We were talking about getting back together, she started buying me things(something she NEVER did) calling and txting me, and still came by and gave me some. The red flags were how everything she told me didnt add up and she was wanting me to move in with her into an apartment she didnt have.

Bipolars want someone to look after them but someone they can control and swing back and forth to. Being with her meant putting up with that **** and i said no. A month later she got engaged and is gonna get married in a few months and i feel bad for the guy cuz he doesn't know her at all.

Only thing that can come from u being with her is the same **** thats going on right now. If u actually do marry her you will still have the same problems except if she leaves she has a right to take half ur stuff and the only thing u will have left is 1 implant.

Just get out now. It always sucks leaving someone youve been with awhile even if they are absolutely nuts.

Remember, the definition of insanity is to repeat the same process over and over and expect a different result.

[Zodiac]

Mantis seriously? You need to have cut contact about the time she f'd the guy in your class. Where is your pride?

[Mantis]

Mantis seriously? You need to have cut contact about the time she f'd the guy in your class. Where is your pride?

I did cut contact, had like 4 one night stands, and hooked up with her sister to try to get revenge. I dont think I could get over that and still think about it and am pissed.

i dont know where my pride is, when I was ignoring her and feeling good about moving on, that made her come after me even harder.

[Mantis]

Listen mantis. I was with a bipolar chick for about eight months she had a kid when she was seventeen. We broke up and after a couple of months of her sleeping with any guy who wanted her i started messing around with her again. We were talking about getting back together, she started buying me things(something she NEVER did) calling and txting me, and still came by and gave me some. The red flags were how everything she told me didnt add up and she was wanting me to move in with her into an apartment she didnt have.

Bipolars want someone to look after them but someone they can control and swing back and forth to. Being with her meant putting up with that **** and i said no. A month later she got engaged and is gonna get married in a few months and i feel bad for the guy cuz he doesn't know her at all.

Only thing that can come from u being with her is the same **** thats going on right now. If u actually do marry her you will still have the same problems except if she leaves she has a right to take half ur stuff and the only thing u will have left is 1 implant.

Just get out now. It always sucks leaving someone youve been with awhile even if they are absolutely nuts.

Remember, the definition of insanity is to repeat the same process over and over and expect a different result.

Yeah, she wants to go to nevada in two weeks to get married and is calling me her husband and talking about a baby and moving in together, etc. we spent time together this weekend and it was fun, but today I am back to feeling pretty weird about the whole thing.

yeah, you're ex sounds like mine, immediately engaged afterwards even though she talked like i was the only one. I felt so much more sane without her and I'm sure you feel more sane without your ex in the picture.

[Mantis]

Your mistake was suggesting sex. Don't stick your **** in crazy, otherwise you might not get it back.

At least it could have been worse. You're one of the lucky ones.

i ****ed her this weekend and *gulp* came inside her.

I am 31 - my friends who are single are either in jail or completly mind ****ed because of girls and are losers.

My friends who are married or almost married are stable.

This girl is a ****ing weirdo but is hot and has money. I can get some on the side I hope. But if she is BPD or whatever then what, will my life be a living hell in the future when she starts dissapearing and leaving me with a kid at home.

It seems like a lot of girls I have been with and am into have either ****ed someone I know after me (when meeting girl in a social circle).

I dont know, but she wants to go to Nevada and get hitched in two weeks. I said that was okay, but now I feel nervous. WTF like a week ago I was happily single and doing great. I am a lost cause.

[Mantis Toboggan]

I am a lost cause.

Cool. Well, no point in coming back here then.

See ya around.

[Mantis]

Cool. Well, no point in coming back here then.

See ya around.


I'm back!

Yeah it seems weird to have to go online to find about getting married, something that is supposed to be special and have no questions about.

to want to marry the guy she broke up with, and whom she did some bad things behind his back - it must be more about control with her. it seems like after she ****ed me over she wouldnt respect me anymore, especially if I keep putting up with her. but she still keeps comign back. probably a sign that she feels she can **** me over again without consequence.

i had wanted to marry her in the past and had talked to her about it before. now that i have moved on, she has asked me 5 or 6 times to marry her. its a difficult situation for me. I told her to get an abortion when we first started going out. And I regretted it later. It has bonded me to her in some dark way. And now I feel I dont want to make another bad decision and am just confused.

i appreciate all the feedback i've gotten, thanks everyone

[5string]

Mantis

Why are you still posting about this? You have not, and will not take our advice.

Since you keep putting your hand in the flame, don't say we didnt warn you when you get burned and are permanently damaged.

Let us know the results of her pregnancy test.

[The_411]

Wow is all I can say. "You're on a highway to hell" - AC/DC


Here's the deal BPD women are like relationship heroin and right now you've relapsed and are going to overdose metaphorically. I've been there and I still struggle at times despite my relationship having been over for a few years. Thankfully each day that I'm not in contact is another day I continue to stay "sober" from her as a drug.

You think things are crazy now just wait until she's cheating on you, getting you arrested for domestic abuse and draining all your cash. (Not all this happened to me but check out the BPDfamily forums and you'll see story after story of insane things happening.)

You're 29 and have a lot to life for, but this is like shooting up heroin and your life expectancy will go way down and you may either end up in a psych ward, or killing yourself.

I know you think I'm not being serious but I am. These women are sirens and they masters of luring you in and then manipulating you via trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement so much so that you'll encounter stockholm Syndrome symptoms and develop PTSD.

Can't beat a sociopath unless you are a psychopath.

Obviously we can't tell you what to do but the hope is that somehow someway the message gets to you before its too late.

[Zodiac]

I did cut contact, had like 4 one night stands, and hooked up with her sister to try to get revenge. I dont think I could get over that and still think about it and am pissed.

i dont know where my pride is, when I was ignoring her and feeling good about moving on, that made her come after me even harder.

Its because you have a personality of your own and at the moment she was fixated on you. That's why she latched onto you and because you showed her attention she's just gonna keep on coming back. Also by f'n her sister what did you expect to happen to you? Her to not do anything or try and say two words to you? Sorry to say this but why are you acting like a teenager? This seems so trivial and juvenile to the point I have to think you actually enjoy this drama.

I'm with Sstring on this one; when she gets knocked up have fun raising her kid. You let this happen and you better enjoy it now since its your grave you are living in and you made by sleeping with her after we told you so.

[Alle_Gory]

I am a lost cause.

Sounds good.

[Solomon]

COME ON GUYS!

This guy is a troll if not I want a pic of him and the chick shouldn't be hard to conjure