Is there any advantages to having female friends?

[SuperM]

I know a lot of DJ's on this site are against having female friends. But, what if you're a guy that is clueless about women?

Wouldn't having some female friends help you out in getting to learn more about women?

I don't think you could ever be really good friends with a female.

Right now I am spending some more time with this girl that I used to like and she liked me, but it just didn't work out.

I feel like she can teach me a lot about women even if she is just a friend.

Any thoughts/opinions???

[BGC]

SuperM,

Kick-asz post. It's a question I've been wondering about.

First though, you gotta know that women won't be able to tell you what they "want" in a meaningful way.
ff
That's because what they "want" doesn't matter.

Now that mind sound illogical, but consider this: wouldn't you agree that it's not so much what behavior women "want" in a guy, but what behavior in a guy leads women to give up her puszy to the guy?

Isn't that a more important thing to talk about?

Take this, for example. It's a known fact that if you wait about six or seven days to call a chick, she will have higher interest level, and consequently be more likely to give up her puszy, than if you waited two or three days.

But women will tell you they "want" a guy to call within two or three days.

All of that is to say that you shouldn't listen to anything a woman says about what she "wants." Instead, listen to what guys who get a lot of asz say they do.

But about having a chick as a friend. If you can get a hot one as a friend, you're totally money.

How?

By going to bars and clubs with her. Yet another way in which women are stupid is that if they see an attractive woman talking to you, they will AUTOMATICALLY become interested in you. Just like fukking robots!

So in that sense, having a hot friend would be great.

But who wants to try to get a hot brawd only as a friend? I say the best candidate to be your hot chick friend would be one who turned you down. Otherwise, why try to use hot puszy to get hot puszy? Just take the first, right?

Any guys who have or have had hot brawds for friends, you should tell us how you met them.

[This message has been edited by BGC (edited 12-18-2000).]

[SuperM]

BGC,

I know what you're saying. That is actually
one of the first things i learned on this board. It's not about what women WANT, instead it is what they NEED.

But, I think that you can learn something if you look at how they respond and their actions and not at what they say. Maybe it would help to be friends with some girls.

Maybe I'm wrong though.

[Peak]

I'm not into the trying to make women friends thing. I don't see the point.

If you want women you have to look for them.

Example:
A couple of nights ago I was at a club I looked around and couldn't see any tasty women. This gave me the shyts. The club was packed so I thought I would go and check out all the dark corners of the place just to make sure. I'm walking along casing all these women when there is a stunner with three of her friends at the back of the club looking bored. I look at her and she back so I walk up to her and say "Hey! You look bored"...blah blah got the hottest chick in the joint.

[DJ de Florida]

My experiences with female friends:

1) If she is good looking, I will always want to be more than friends.

2) If she is ok looking and I spend more time with her, I realize she has other great qualities and I want to be more than friends.

3) If she is not great looking, I would rather spend my time with guy friends because we have more common interests.

I guess this is why I don't have a lot of female friends, but a lot of female acquaintances....




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DJ de Florida
****
Just Do It!

[Jdog]

I don't think it's bad to have friends that are girls. But like someone said, I usually am looking to me more than just friends with the girls I hang with, especially if they are hot. No matter how friendly you are with a girl you cannot drop the DJ skills. If you do, all of a sudden this girl tells all her friends that you are the "sweetest" guy, then next thing you know you got about a million friends that are girls and none that want to get with you. But on the otherhand, being seen with other girls in a social situation can work wonders with other ladies in the room. But NEVER ask another girl for advice about girls. They will make you think that being MR. Nice Guy is the way to go when it clearly isn't.

[Kukri]

I'm not against having female friends. I think the benefits to having female friends are innumerable and they'll give you a lot of excellent advice about women.

I am, however, against being friends with a girl you have a significant level of interest in. I'm also dead against being friends with a girl whom you have a high interest level in and who's shot you down. That kind of ****'s bad for the ego and tends to repeat itself.

-K

[The Wiz]

BGC is right, you're not going to get the best direct advice from your female friends; [paranoid rambling] the International Female Conspiracy* severely punishes them for giving away secrets of the female psyche. Put it this way: if one of your FF's asked you for advice about a guy, would you explain to her any of the DJ methods, or God forbid, the more potent stuff (NLP and the like)? Absolutely not, because then that kind of sh_t would spread amongst the IFC and our techniques would lose much of their effectiveness. [/paranoid rambling]

However, you can gain incredible knowledge indirectly from your FF's. After you've been friend-zoned into submission (at least to her), she'll open up quite a bit about her relationships (be advised, you will want to select FF's whom you have absolutely no interest in - exes work great) and those of her friends. You begin to see, through interpreting these stories and drawing out more details from her, evidence which backs up everything preached on this board.

*I know that there is *probably* no such thing as the IFC, however, this isn't all that far from the magnitude of networking and information sharing amongst the fairer sex. Beware...

[The Wiz]

Another great use is "networking" as in the business world. You may not be getting any from your FF, but what about all the honies she can introduce you to? If you meet 3 or 4 chicks thhrough her, and save one of those for networking out even farther, and then repeat the process ad infinitum, imagine the possibilities. And if your FF happens to be an ex who left you for another chick, maybe you'll even be introduced to two bi friends of hers. http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

[BigBadJon]

Oh man, I was about to go to bed and you had to get me started....

There would be no problems with a platonic male/female relationship if sexual attraction could never be a factor. What bothers me the most about this is when I hear a guy trying to be friends with a chick that has rejected him. THIS UNDERMINES ALL EFFORTS FOR YOU TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE DURATION OF YOUR FRIENDSHIP. You want her now, you want her always. ESPECIALLY if she rejected you. You accept half ass excuses and emotional torture for what? The hope that one day she will come around? Wake up. I had to wake myself up from this illusion only recently.

The issue I mainly face is the woman I try to be friends with pulling the same sort of b.s. they try when you are in a relationship. My male friends never say "I'm not sure whats going on yet, but call me later" when you try to plan a get together. All they want from you is the ego boost they get from their cell phone ringing. They give you just enough attention to keep you calling. It's all for them. Sound familiar anyone?

If you can get 50% or more from a female friend, I say go for it. If she has the whip, run the other way. Any sort of compromise will put you in a bad postion.

[SuperM]

BigBadJon,

Thanks for replying, man. You made me think about my friendship with this girl. Right now, I think I'm getting about 50% with her.

But, as soon as I see that she is giving less than that, then I won't call her anymore. And, I'll withdraw all attention from her.

[jediknightninja]

Some random thoughts:

I don't think there's anything wrong with having female friends, as long as you don't toture yourself by being attracted to them romantically.

I have lots of female friends, and I find that they are just as good as male friends. You just have to keep in mind that they are girls, you can't talk about or do the same things you do with your guy friends.

I met my girlfriend through a female friend, so 'networking' is very valuable indeed.

Keep in mind that friends can turn into girlfriends, it just takes LOTS of patience and a bit of persistance.

Good luck, and God bless.

[Peak]

Networking female friends for a girlfriend is a rather weak move..in fact it isn't even a move cause your friend did it all for you. I prefer to use guerilla tactics and go in cold into new territory (i.e. hitting on stunners you never met before)...much much bigger personailty paybacks (it's not hard at all anyway). In the long run you will always be seen as strong for doing that. I think women appreciate that more than any other method of winning their hearts and they will always see you as a real man from then on.

[This message has been edited by Peak (edited 12-19-2000).]

[Anjo_das_Trevas]

A life story:


Last year my ex-girlfriend dumped me and i got a frickin' attitude towards her ( we were the best of friends before starting hanging out with each other ) and since then i have not seen her for awhile. 3 months ago she called me back saying that she was sorry for what she did and that she wanted to restart the friendship we had , so i thought
why not?. Guys i tell you, my ex is helping me on some problems of my life, she is not always available, but she makes the effort to be with me when i need her, i help her, she helps me and it's a great way to know how women think about us. I say have as many female friends as u can, cuz they can give helpful hints on understanding women.

[Anjo_das_Trevas]

A life story:


Last year my ex-girlfriend dumped me and i got a frickin' attitude towards her ( we were the best of friends before starting hanging out with each other ) and since then i have not seen her for awhile. 3 months ago she called me back saying that she was sorry for what she did and that she wanted to restart the friendship we had , so i thought
why not?. Guys i tell you, my ex is helping me on some problems of my life, she is not always available, but she makes the effort to be with me when i need her, i help her, she helps me and it's a great way to know how women think about us. I say have as many female friends as u can ( not those you are attracted to of course eheh ), cuz they can give helpful hints on understanding women.

Just my Opinion

Anjo_das_Trevas

[Poet]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by SuperM:
YES YES YES the more the better but be warned U gotta know women & how they think & play your friends right to get the benefits of networking. I have a lot of them & they are always inviting me to this place or the other even fixing me up with other women they even tell me aout their latest sex adventure. If U R not skilled in women tho U can get into trouble. U have to validate their feelings & keep it playful. Poet

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Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.

[SoSuave.com]

bump

[Bungo Pony]

Female friends are excellent to have. Here's my advice: make a female friend when you're with someone. It may not go over well with the person you're with, but it will make you not desire to be with another woman.

Me and my ex's sister are excellent friends. Another plus is when your female friends set you up with their friends!

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People fly around me like dead leaves in high wind - BOC 2001

[MsThang]

It's nice to have friends, regardless of their sex. Girls are good to have as friends but ONLY if you have no other intentions with them. Then you screw stuff up for both of you and you'll get the "friend-zone" idea drilled into your head.

But they are helpful because you can observe them and see what they do and what they want and not what they SAY they do and what they SAY they want.

Besides, you'll be less scared of them because you will see that they are people just like guys are and you won't use them either, because you'll know they have feelings. (Yes, boys, they do.)

[MrSassyPants]

I really hate to agree with MzThang, but I think I do...

I don't know how someone can be sucessful with women and not have female friends. Sure its true, we hear a lot on this site about the horrors of being in the LJBF zone, and this might be a problem for someone that can't control their emotions... i.e. falls in love with any woman that pays them any attention... but the benefits of having friends that are girls is tremendous.

First, they always have friends that you can hook up with... it just stands to reason, the more girls you come in contact with, the better luck you will have.

Second, if you are shy around girls you can practice interacting with them and not get nervous. You can see what they do, what they say... etc. Your interactions with women will be much more relaxed. Reading this site is great... but its like reading a book on how to play better tennis. If you don't practice in a non-stressful setting, you'll never get it down.

Third, When women see you surrounded by women and comfortable with yourself you become much more attractive. They assume you must have something going for you. This is a basic concept anyone who wants to be a DJ needs to understand. Anyone who doesn't is simply not a DJ.

Fourth, You'll have someone to take you to the airport.

Fifth, if you get to know women, you won't fall in love with every one that shows you some attention. You will be in much better position emotionally when you deal with women.

I honestly can't think of any reason why a guy would refuse to be friends with a girl, unless they were scared to death about "falling in love and being rejected"

If you can't control your emotions to this small degree, this site won't fix you.

[lordclem*]

when i first came here,reading doc loves articles.there was this ff i didnt like her but like talking to her.everyone thought i liked her,well i did look like a AFC

but them looked at the friendship only to find,i was acting like afc!!and was the giver!!spoke to her almost everyday and she never called me!this caused me to look at all my ff and thus finding that they were all bizthz!
and now have an 'only use if nessary' policy with them (i like none of them )
there are (must be some cool chicks out there?)nice chick but dont know none
the lord has spoken

[MsThang]

I think what we can all agree on is that as long as you don't fall for your friends, than it's a wonderful idea. (But really, don't, it's SOOOOOO annoying to the girl!)

Besides, lots of girls around you make you look like PlMP !!! :P

[redvoodoo]

Having women friends gets you noticed by other women its a "social proof" that you must be good. You can learn alot about what makes them tick especially when they talk about other women . I think its ok to ask them what they like as far as sex but never about what they want in a man.

[karmavsDogma]

My opinion on the matter, as a recovering AFC:

I have a friend, been friends with her over 3 years, and there has been some mutual attraction. However, since I was an AFC, I went about it all wrong and completely screwed it all up. Rather than kicking myself over it for a year or so (as I used to), I decided to learn from it. There's a few things that I've noticed between me and her that I think are positives. For one, she's pretty hot, I'd say around an 8-9, so when we're out together, the jealousy factor kicks in for all the other pretty ladies I'd rather be taking home. It also helps that we have this great rapport, so much so that most people assume we're dating anyway. And you know how women want what they can't have. I also have learned a lot about things I never would have. When I met her, I was a major club kid, really into techno and the whole club culture, which isn't really shared that much by other people (especially women) here in the Midwestern USA. I mean, there's club kids around, but it's a real niche culture. My friend opened me up to other areas of music and culture. I retained my penchant for club culture, but also discovered punk, soul, and R&B (the good stuff) through just knowing her. That opens up more topics when talking to other chicks. I have learned a few things about what women really like, because I ask POINTED QUESTIONS, not about what she thinks women want, but what SHE WANTS when she's looking for a guy. I've also been able to build up a profile of the qualities I really want in a woman, just by having been so close to her.

The female friend also gives you someone to hang out with when you need it. Even though you're pretty much guaranteed a non-sexual encounter, they can still stroke the ego, especially when getting over the rejection thing. This has been extremely important for me in the early days of DJ'ing. If I need a little extra boost to get back out there, I go see her. Also, I can emotionally unload on her so I don't start gushing to some little hottie and ruin a potential candidate.

By the way, it's been mentioned that once attracted, always attracted. I guess it really depends on the person, but I can honestly say that I'm not attracted to her anymore in a romantic way. I'd still knock it to Japan if she wanted to get it on, but other than casual sex, I'd never actually want anything more with her (whereas before, I'd have given my left - fill in the blank - to spend the rest of my life with her).

Don't discount female friendships. If becoming a DJ is all about learning about the opposite sex, those female friends can be an untapped goldmine. Just make sure you go about it correctly.

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"Workers of the world, get off my couch." ~Andy French

[MattB]

Having female friends are good IMO.
They are usually smarter academically, and have better handwirtings (so you can get notes from them)

[N1PlayerTillIDie]

I guess having female friends can help you to be successful with women because when I started out I was about 13 and there was this one girl that i used to use as a labratory rat in order to find out the female response to surtain things such as for example what i should say and what i shouldn't say around women, and in about 2 months after using her as a lab animal i learned a lot and started to know how to get *****. Even though the first time it took me 3 months inorder to get it it was worth it.

Now two years later I bacame a ***** magnet and discovered this website. So all i'm doing now is perfecting my game because you can never be too successful with women.

O and i don't mean to brag but in these almost 3 years becuase i'll be 16 soon i've had 19 girlfriends whom i screwed. And 10 one night stands. And i always had my girls about 1 or 2 or 3 years older than me. Exccept for this one time when i screwed a 23 year old babe...just...couldn't resist. eather way you should use that for your advantage have fun. Don't foget to feed the lab animal though.

[Palomo]

the main advantage of having female friendīs is that they can give advice to other girls that hesitate about you, because girls talk about specific guys 3 times more than girls, and she can recommend her about you, but otherwise, girls adivices about other girls are crap, i completely agree.
Personally i donīt agree or disagree if FFs is a bad thing, but i think as u get older, female friends tend to be useless.

[beastmaster79]

female friends will constantly try to manipulate you so you have to keep you game up or they will pussify you. female friends are just the ones who are fun to chill with even when you are not ****ing them. you can still be friends with girls and try to **** them at the same time. you have to stay honest. if you would enjoy ****ing a girl you have to try. if you have a legitimate friend connection with a girl she will remain your friend even if you **** her or try to **** her. but never be friends with a girl you want to **** unless you actually attempt to **** her.

[Smack]

Really, guys, you're all over-analysing this. The wider network of friends you have, the better. Male or female. You're most likely to meet a decent women through friends. And, you're most likely to meet females through female friends (women love playing match maker).

[Snakk3]

since i was 13 most of my closest friends were females, just 3/4 close male friends. this is because almost all of the guys of my school etc are like 2 years younger than they are, a little retarded.
so i always had lot of female friends, this was good some years ago but in my high school years i had the problem that some of my female friends (hot girls :) ) were hated by lots of other girls in highschool and that was not good for me in this 3 years :\

but i agree that being with good looking girls in a social place is good for you.

(btw, the mainly problem was that i didn't aproach girls, i was always waiting for them... lets see if things are going to be different now.. =X )

[Mr. Bond]

Female friends are a great source of social proof. Not only that, but a girl who likes you will talk to your other female friends about how hot you are. One girl likes you, and her friends will too.

[S.Y.L]

I agree, the more you talk to girls, the more comfortable you get, and learn and stuff. I have a few 7-8/10 girls who are close friends with me, I liked one of them once, and realized I was attached, and LJBF'ded her. I'm kinda glad I did that, more she tells me about her life, less I like her in a romantic way, and now I really don't at all.

Now, shes one of my best friends, she tells me stuff, and helps me out. Only thing is, is that she hates girls lmao, and doesn't really have any hot friends.

[samiam1]

I agree that it's normally good to have a good group of platonic female friends, but this week I found out it can come back to bite you in the ass. I've been really into one of my classmates for a while, and we spent pretty much the entire past week (spring break) together alone, and it turns out two of my female friends that were also there confronted her halfway through the week about "leading me on" and told her that I had feelings for her, pretty much ruining any chances I had of building attraction. On top of that, when me and her were talking, she said one of the main reasons she viewed me as just a friend was that she saw that I was such good friends with her best friend and she thought it could be like that between us.

So basically, it can be helpful, I love all my girl friends, but you've got to watch out or it can backfire you.

[lalahaha]

i agree with alot of people of how girl friends can be useful.....
but in my experience its hard to have a true friendship with a girl than a boy. its very easy to become an "emotional tampon" to the girl you are going to become a friend with, but that doesn't exactly mean bad unless your intentions were other than friendship. and more often than not the girl or the boy will develop attractions for each other and it can **** things up completely

[jimbobebop]

It's a good idea to have female club friends but its a more advanced style.The problem is that she will gain feeling when she sees you with other women. Yes, you can use this to your advantage as she will give that "I'm not with him but..." vibe to other women, which will bring up your status but its a slippery slope. Just don't have sex with them or have them talk to women for you, both will make them feel used. I like to over do it on the funny and self self deprecating hummor to make me look less attractive. Not to be an ass but see them more as a tool then some thing to put your tool in.

[Blank]

Hot females have hot female friends. Want more attractive women in your life? For every hot female friend you have, you could meet 3, 4, 5++ more of her hot friends.

[Die Hard]

In the movie "Magnolia", Tom Cruise plays a DJ giving classes to big audiences. At one point he explains to the audience that they should never see a girl as a friend. But then he continues:

"That's not to say that we don't all need females just as friends, cuz we're gonna learn later in chapter 23 that having a couple of chick friends lying around will come in real handy in setting jaleousy traps" :D

Watch his scenes here, they're GREAT (the quote is from the second scene):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2IVF9a2IA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCEYxs7kWmQ&NR=1

[hiteshsahni]

I am new to this forum but have been exposed to the community for a few months now. I am no expert in that I never approach strangers. Although I have revolutionized my life to the point where I face no problems in hooking up with the hottest girls in my social circles :)

When you realize your "afc-ness" for the first time and want to get this area of your life handled, it's not easy to unlearn 20-25 years of shy and insecure habits and adopt confident mindset right away. Newbies do have certain anxieties and awkwardness in their handling of the opposite sex that women catch on pretty quick because of their nature-gifted intuition.

If you are starting off from a frame in which you are apologetic about your sex drive and scared of showing fake disinterest or genuine interest in a woman, then it certainly helps to just make them your friends. As you spend time with them and see that they are just as human as you are and there is nothing divine or angelic about them, that's the beginning of an enlightenment.

When you reach a stage where you are comfortable around women and you don't care what they think, then you'll be better able to show interest or make them interested in you.

My two cents :)

[lateluvr]

I've never had one, so I can't say. Women are either lovers, potential lovers, past lovers who are just part of the crowd, like all the other women. I am sure that such a viewpoint constitutes being a reprehensible dinosaur to most women, but hey, I only need ONE. :-) I want one who can appreciate my honest. She will just have to overlook my Neanderthal outlook, that's all, just as she will have to overlook my other faults.

[EvilAgenda]

What you should ask is, are there any disadvantages to having attractive female friends. See if you can come up with any good ones.

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Having attractive female friends does the following for you:
1) Raises your status.
2) Gives you access to great advice.
3) Introduces you to her attractive female friends.
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If she wants more than friendship from you, remind her you like her as a friend. If she persists, walk away.

The worst compliment a girl can give to a guy: "I like you as a friend."
The best compliment a guy can give to a girl: "I like you as a friend."

[juicyliy]

I have a boyfriend, bad habits, thinking I could change him, but he seems very difficult

[double x]

I'm friends with a girl that I used have hots for, then I found a better girl and she got a boyfriend so we are just friends now.

I wouldn't be friends with her if she was annoying or uninteresting. We share music, play stupid board games together, and she is insanely loyal. Her boyfriend got jealous of me (even though I have no interest in her anymore) and she basically told him 'deal with it he's my best friend'. She brought food to my apartment when my brother died and I became a recluse for a few months. We call each other brother/sister. It's nice.

[old_skoolr]

most guys got it, nothing wrong with having female friends if ur no hopelessly falling for them, they introduce you to there friends, girls who dont know u well will think ur desirable becoz of the girls ur with, its really a no brainer and hey if ur both down for u mite even have a casual fck buddy out of it.......but yeh the key thing to remember dont get emotional over her, treat her like u would ur guy mates.....but just be a lil bit more sensitive

[casaanova]

If it's a mutually platonic friendship (keyword MUTUAL), and you want nothing more from her than good conversation and friendship then yeah it can have advantages. I've known these 2 short asian girls since high school with no ass or tits at all and we're close like family. To be honest, if I were ever forced to bang one of them, I probably couldn't even get it up. We chill and have fun, I give them advice on guys and they give me advice on girls (GOOD, useful unbiased advice).



If you were trying to get with her and she PUT you in the friendzone (the Robin-Ted Mosby dynamic for all my HIMYM fans), she's as good as useless. And rightfully so, since when a girl you game LJBFs you, it's a soft rejection and she knows it is. If you try to get with one of her friends or a girl you guys meet when out, she will communicate the fact that she put you in the friendzone (whether voluntarily or involuntarily). For instance the conversation will go like this:
Becky (girl you like): "Hey who's that guy you're with? He's cute."
Alison (girl ur LJBF with): "Oh you mean Joe? Yeah hes a real nice guy. He's not my type but I'm sure he'll find a good girl some day. Oh by the way, did you see that guy Mike? He's so hot, do you think he'll let us come over his place tonight?"

And just like that you've been blown out by your own "friend".



Bonus Tip: The best wingwoman to have is a girl who has a slight (but not overt) crush on you. If you get a girl in this sweet spot, I swear she will HUNT you pvssy. This is why PUA books like The Game advise you to go out of your way to make a good impression on your targets friends, because when they like you, your target will REALLY like you. Some of the best long-term Fbuddies and LTRs I've had were by referral from girls like this. You don't have to game them (or escalate, rather), you just have to make it known that you are a really cool guy with options that doesn't want anything from her. Go out of your way to add her on facebook, make her laugh and help her with little stuff (but not too much), and basically make her feel good. You'd be surprised how rare it is for women to find guys like this

[MisterAFC]

I have lots of female friends:) They say I am very cute. This is a great advantage:)

[twentee]

I don't see what it could possibly be, advantage, that is. unless you know some that actually know something that's worth a hoot, like computers. A FEW these days can really make money, or at least., be useful, like in being a mechanic, or a nurse. A LOT more guys should do what I do, and TRAIN women, one at a time. It takes years, and the only way to get PAID for it, and the only way to GUARANTEE that she sticks it out, is have her be here in the Us ONLY as long as she's your wife. If you get divorced in less than 5 years,. BACK she goes to her country. after a taste of US life, she'd rather committ suicide. so she WILL train as you ask, IF you are capable of training her, that is, and if you pick a good woman in the first place. that takes time and a bit of money. a few thousand $ and a few months.