Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Zero experience with transition between dating and relationship

crackhead

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I've had some success getting numbers from girl's I'm interested in, but I have never in my life made the transition to a full on relationship, long term or otherwise. Sure, the "dj way" is to not put all your eggs in one basket and date/fvck as many chicks as possible. But I would really like a girl I could call my own that I can have a healthy relationship with.

I met a girl last weekend (8 1/2 easy) and asked for her number, but she said give me yours. I thought it was a polite no thank you, as I have gotten before, but she called back 3 days later and pretty much asked me for a date! Our first date went well: pretty constant flow of conversation, somewhat similar interests, smiling, laughing, sharing stories, etc. On more than one occasion after the date she said she had a good time. 2nd date we went to a movie, and ate quicklike at a food spot cuz she had to work. Conversation not quite as flowing necessarily (direct result of my subtle subconscious fears), but nothing too bad. Had a somewhat akward kiss in the car, but still she made a point of saying she had a good time.

I was extremely happy at this point, but then yesterday my thinking shifted into a negative spin and I'm overanalyzing every little detail perceiving things on our date that didn't go as good as they could have as worse than I should. See my above kiss analysis: she most likely doesn't think it was as akward as I'm making it out to be, or sh1t, perhaps even feels partially responsible due to the circumstances (quick drop off car make out almost in public).

I know that I'm obsessing and putting way too much pressure on myself, as I have with girls in the past. I even know that you attract what you fear. But one mighty precursor to confidence is past successes, which I basically have none of. I have more or less only had random hookups my whole life.

I'm going to have my 3rd date with this girl wednesday, but it's not a full on 1 on 1 date, we're gonna see her friends band play. I don't want to come on too strong, but I have paid for half-3/4's of our activities and feel it's pretty much time to take her home and get some.

But I don't feel like I have created a real spark with her, or done anything strongly non-AFC with her and I'm fearing failure. I'm wondering what my friends will think of me if I scare this girl off.

Has anyone in here ever been in my shoes with no experience but somewhat at the cusp of sealing the deal and have any advice? I know it's just about positive thinking/being happy, and I'm not looking for some cheesy techniques or lines to use, but I'm having a tough time fully taming the elusive beast of fear and know that if I scare this girl away, I will be sink into a deep depression. It's fear man FVCK!!!! MUST CRUSH WUSS-LIKE TENDENCIES!!!

p.s my last date I had was akward and the girl never called back and I sunk into a nasty weird funk on and off for practically 2 months.
 
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Shiftkey

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Sure, the "dj way" is to not put all your eggs in one basket and date/fvck as many chicks as possible.
This isn't the DJ way, it's one way, but not the "DJ way." There is no "DJ way." All this site teaches is the tools for you to do what you want - that can mean fvck 500 girls or falling in love and getting married, but it's up to you.

The best advice I can give you is to concentrate a little more on having fun and a little less on getting a GF - especially because she's not going to turn into your GF if you're not having fun. It doesn't sound like you're having any fun at all to me. Just forget completely about getting her to like you and it will probably happen on it's own. But even if it doesn't, she's just one woman.
 
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man just go and have fun with it if she bails on you there's more were she came from my man .


as for your AFC tendencies i too have some AFC left in me but keep working on them and soon you will get what you want .


look to the future my friend as i too am hopeful of it , and what we do now will bear fruit tomorrow. thats all i got to say .




LATEZ !!! F LOVE , LOVE TO F....
 

crackhead

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true... these are solid points

Who you are is defined by the context you are in. I can be totally funny/charming/fun to be with... but for some reason, when I am trying to get a girl to like me, I put way too much pressure on myself and this side of me just banishes. And in place is this pathetic state where I'm practically incapable of having fun with the girl I desire, therefore scaring away exactly what I wish I could have. That is some profoundly frustrating sh1t right there man.

How can I detach from this most detrimental fear? If I fvck this up, I will be miserable. Must detach and let go and just have fun. It seems so simple and trivial, but at the same time, these traits that prevent me from getting what I want are deeply embedded in my subconscious mind.
 
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Shiftkey

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Who you are is defined by the context you are in.
Who you are is defined by the choices you make and the attitude you have in life, not the environment around you.

If I fvck this up, I will be miserable.
Think this and you WILL be miserable and you WILL fvck up. Basing your self worth on your success with women is arguably one of the biggest AFC traits there is! You have to be happy single and on yourown before you're ready for a relationship.

You have some major attitude changes to make, because if you think getting a GF will make you happy you're in for a rude awakening.
 
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