Your Experience with Taking a Break

Fzatf

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Good morning,

I messaged a member earlier asking their insight on this, so I decided to make this an open discussion.

I'm recently divorced. This is my third failed marriage. I can make up all the excuses and do the blame game all I want, but the fact of the matter is the marriage failed. This last divorce re-opened old wounds that I thought were healed. Since the divorce, I've been suffering from PTSD, depression, and a feeling of "being lost". I believe I may have traits of BPD. It's the same pattern with me: Meet a female, strong frame, fall in love fast, relationship, drama, weak frame, relationship ends, begging them to take me back, regrets, depression, and so on...

I'm extremely jaded.

I'm tired of the same pattern of when a relationship ends I run to dating apps to try to get over the last chick. I'm of tired of thinking "She's the one." I'm tired of things going so well in the beginning, but then things go horribly wrong towards the end. These failures have taken a huge toll on my mind frame. I've been studying Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant more and more over the past few months to really study their mind frame. Yeah, it's basketball. However, it's the mind frame of winning they have. I'm trying to have that same mind frame in my life: winning. The problem is, I was trying to win in those marriages and the end result was failing. I hate failing. I hate losing. I'm at the point where I have no desire to even approach a female, talk to a female, "swipe right" on a female, and lost all desire to ever get married again. I'm done man.

Have any of you ever went through a horrible breakup/divorce and you took a break or just went Monk Mode for a while?

Thanos
I've been married once and it was to a single mom. She left me and I struggled with missing her but overall I am less depressed than the latter stages of our relationship. I took a break from women and focused on me. I lost weight, am working on my degree, and have regained my confidence.

Taking a break is great. It lets you reassess your priorities. It gives you time to better yourself. It gives your heart time to heal. It helps keep you from making the same mistakes.

Hit the gym. Never marry again. Stay away from single moms for an ltr but they're fine to lay if you don't catch feelings.
 

rando5495

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....is that women will harass you regardless. Should just consider yourself "in the game" so to speak.
 

RickTheToad

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I've been married once and it was to a single mom. She left me and I struggled with missing her but overall I am less depressed than the latter stages of our relationship. I took a break from women and focused on me. I lost weight, am working on my degree, and have regained my confidence.

Taking a break is great. It lets you reassess your priorities. It gives you time to better yourself. It gives your heart time to heal. It helps keep you from making the same mistakes.

Hit the gym. Never marry again. Stay away from single moms for an ltr but they're fine to lay if you don't catch feelings.
Dude... You married a single mom? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?????
 

Epic Days

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Just looking at your situation. Read through all the comments.
I snipped out your words on what happens to you...

“It's the same pattern with me: Meet a female, strong frame, fall in love fast, relationship, drama, weak frame, relationship ends, begging them to take me back, regrets, depression, and so on...”

Let’s go to transition from “strong frame” ending in “weak frame”

Do you know what a woman is doing in a marriage? I mean, do you understand what she is actually doing within that dynamic of “marriage” and what her end goal is?

Taking a break will do nothing in the long run as you will repeat the same steps again.
 
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RickTheToad

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No disrespect to any poster her, but why would any man beg a lady back? Seems counter-productive. When it's over, it's over. Never take the garbage back in.
 

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Epic Days

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No disrespect to any poster her, but why would any man beg a lady back? Seems counter-productive. When it's over, it's over. Never take the garbage back in.
I most definitely know what you mean right there.

It’s a reduction symptom. Men are reduced within a marriage.

Case in point. When I went to my ten year reunion, all the so called “Alphas” were cucked and reduced. About half were already divorced raped.
I was observing this long before the red pill. But it wasn’t until I saw it in myself did it really make an impression. Thus began my long crawl out to the place I hold today.

The very core of marriage is a reduction of biological traits and impulses of the male. It is a systematic dismantling. At the bottom end of this he will beg for the woman back. He is no longer himself. Nothing is being done necessarily “on purpose”.

“A good man is defined as responsible hard worker dutifully supporting his family, which in many cases not his. In 10% to 20% of the marriages at least one on his children aren’t really his.”

A man needs to understand what a marriage actually is before he goes into one.
 

RickTheToad

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I most definitely know what you mean right there.

It’s a reduction symptom. Men are reduced within a marriage.

Case in point. When I went to my ten year reunion, all the so called “Alphas” were cucked and reduced. About half were already divorced raped.
I was observing this long before the red pill. But it wasn’t until I saw it in myself did it really make an impression. Thus began my long crawl out to the place I hold today.

The very core of marriage is a reduction of biological traits and impulses of the male. It is a systematic dismantling. At the bottom end of this he will beg for the woman back. He is no longer himself. Nothing is being done necessarily “on purpose”.

“A good man is defined as responsible hard worker dutifully supporting his family, which in many cases not his. In 10% to 20% of the marriages at least one on his children aren’t really his.”

A man needs to understand what a marriage actually is before he goes into one.
I get you, I was married and at the 10 month mark, I felt restrained and castrated. Albeit, not necessarily by my wife's treatment, but her actions (or inactions) and within the chains I felt applied on to me by the State. I subsequently filed for an annulment due to fraud, and I succeeded. I learned during this experience that no one wins in a legal separation. I would say, it was the what if's in the future that I didn't like and for her to have the ability to drain me thru legal fees and take part of my pension and other assets which she had no entitlement to. TBH, the annulment proceedings / divorce proceedings lasted longer than the actual marriage. Effectively, according to the sh!tty State of Connecticut, I was never married, but I am scared from ever getting into that position again. I also reinvented myself after this experience and got back into shape. She, however, looks around the same as I left her. I sometimes feel sorry for her, but it is what it is. She did make a really lame attempt to change my mind. She said, in passing, I don't want an annulment or a divorce. I said, you should had thought about that and the way you acted in our marriage. My mind is made up. You'll find someone else, no worries. She just looked at me and turned white. Then her POS mom was banging at my door for her to leave. Never heard from her again. I see her from time to time. Just stares from afar. I blamed myself for the mess. When I said I was getting married, everyone I knew was shocked. I never was for marriage, I do not know what came over me. Nonetheless, I tried it, I didn't like it, and I left. I wasn't perfect, but you know, when you hear someone you are married to say he's one of the best I can get, so I'll stick with it for now. You know, it's time to GTFOOT; and I did.

Marriage isn't what it's played up to as we were growing up. In reality, it seems two people get married, they have children, and when they get bored both fvck around on the side. She eventually divorces him and takes 70% of his earnings, half his assets and 50% - 75% access to their kids. He also gets the bonus of having to pay for the mortgage of the house and not live there while the kids are in school. Believe it or not, some Judges will not allow the sale of the marital home until the kids are out of Elementary School.

It's a sham. I've seen a lot of my colleagues and friends go through it. Most were shocked that I was able to pull the annulment off. Nothing worth doing is easy. I will not lie, it was not easy to file for an annulment or kick her out of my place, but I did so. I do feel a bit bad about it today, but I had to take care of me first. For sh!t sure she wasn't going to look after me in my time of need. So, I agree with you dude. However, I never felt the need to beg a lady to stay. If she wants to leave, BYE!

I did, once text a lady the next day after we broke up I missed her. She then wanted a two week break instead of a breakup, but I declined. That was my one time that I guess I shown some weakness. I am still pissed at myself for doing so. Others have reached out after we broke, didn't matter if I left them or they left me, I didn't reply. Rollo says, never take the trash back in to the home. I happen to agree.
 

Epic Days

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I get you, I was married and at the 10 month mark, I felt restrained and castrated. Albeit, not necessarily by my wife's treatment, but her actions (or inactions) and within the chains I felt applied on to me by the State. I subsequently filed for an annulment due to fraud, and I succeeded. I learned during this experience that no one wins in a legal separation. I would say, it was the what if's in the future that I didn't like and for her to have the ability to drain me thru legal fees and take part of my pension and other assets which she had no entitlement to. TBH, the annulment proceedings / divorce proceedings lasted longer than the actual marriage. Effectively, according to the sh!tty State of Connecticut, I was never married, but I am scared from ever getting into that position again. I also reinvented myself after this experience and got back into shape. She, however, looks around the same as I left her. I sometimes feel sorry for her, but it is what it is. She did make a really lame attempt to change my mind. She said, in passing, I don't want an annulment or a divorce. I said, you should had thought about that and the way you acted in our marriage. My mind is made up. You'll find someone else, no worries. She just looked at me and turned white. Then her POS mom was banging at my door for her to leave. Never heard from her again. I see her from time to time. Just stares from afar. I blamed myself for the mess. When I said I was getting married, everyone I knew was shocked. I never was for marriage, I do not know what came over me. Nonetheless, I tried it, I didn't like it, and I left. I wasn't perfect, but you know, when you hear someone you are married to say he's one of the best I can get, so I'll stick with it for now. You know, it's time to GTFOOT; and I did.

Marriage isn't what it's played up to as we were growing up. In reality, it seems two people get married, they have children, and when they get bored both fvck around on the side. She eventually divorces him and takes 70% of his earnings, half his assets and 50% - 75% access to their kids. He also gets the bonus of having to pay for the mortgage of the house and not live there while the kids are in school. Believe it or not, some Judges will not allow the sale of the marital home until the kids are out of Elementary School.

It's a sham. I've seen a lot of my colleagues and friends go through it. Most were shocked that I was able to pull the annulment off. Nothing worth doing is easy. I will not lie, it was not easy to file for an annulment or kick her out of my place, but I did so. I do feel a bit bad about it today, but I had to take care of me first. For sh!t sure she wasn't going to look after me in my time of need. So, I agree with you dude. However, I never felt the need to beg a lady to stay. If she wants to leave, BYE!

I did, once text a lady the next day after we broke up I missed her. She then wanted a two week break instead of a breakup, but I declined. That was my one time that I guess I shown some weakness. I am still pissed at myself for doing so. Others have reached out after we broke, didn't matter if I left them or they left me, I didn't reply. Rollo says, never take the trash back in to the home. I happen to agree.
You did it right. Now take your ten months and turn it into 10 years with a man making a daily investment of duty and hard work.

I was never built for marriage myself. But I thought it was what men do. I don’t regret any of it. If there was another way to learn this stuff...well there isn’t. Mute point.

I have notes and tons of observations on the decline of the male in relationships. There is no such thing as an Alpha in a marriage after a certain point. Decline rates vary. The harder he tries, the younger he dies.
 

RickTheToad

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You did it right. Now take your ten months and turn it into 10 years with a man making a daily investment of duty and hard work.

I was never built for marriage myself. But I thought it was what men do. I don’t regret any of it. If there was another way to learn this stuff...well there isn’t. Mute point.

I have notes and tons of observations on the decline of the male in relationships. There is no such thing as an Alpha in a marriage after a certain point. Decline rates vary. The harder he tries, the younger he dies.
I get you. Though, I'd change "The harder he tries, the younger he dies". to the harder he tries, the more tests and space she puts between them. Thus leading to death or divorce. Sad.
 

Spaz

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I get you. Though, I'd change "The harder he tries, the younger he dies". to the harder he tries, the more tests and space she puts between them. Thus leading to death or divorce. Sad.
Have you guys noticed that most happily married men are those who married women a decade or more younger? Averaging out at 15 years difference.

When I mean happily married, it's means men in their 60's or 70's with wife's in their forties or early fifties whose been married for a good 30 or so odd years.

Something for men here to ponder on.
 

daproest1

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Have you guys noticed that most happily married men are those who married women a decade or more younger? Averaging out at 15 years difference.

When I mean happily married, it's means men in their 60's or 70's with wife's in their forties or early fifties whose been married for a good 30 or so odd years.

Something for men here to ponder on.
Is this true? Any references besides anecdotal observation?
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I've been married once and it was to a single mom. She left me and I struggled with missing her but overall I am less depressed than the latter stages of our relationship. I took a break from women and focused on me. I lost weight, am working on my degree, and have regained my confidence.

Taking a break is great. It lets you reassess your priorities. It gives you time to better yourself. It gives your heart time to heal. It helps keep you from making the same mistakes.

Hit the gym. Never marry again. Stay away from single moms for an ltr but they're fine to lay if you don't catch feelings.
I stopped reading at single mom.

If you look up train wreck in the Dictionary, single mom is what you will find. They are Careless, useless, lazy, and lack in both character as well as responsibility or self ownership. They love parading around in victimhood. Don't do it.

Monk mode should be used for practicality. Start a biz, market campaign for a new product line, edu, freelance, lead generation, prospect acquisition etc. It shouldn't be for drinking soy, dad bod, being a big ****ing phaggot beta watching bbc cuck porn, and Self loathing.

Its a asset if used right but so is game. It is a tool. Use it accordingly.
 

Spaz

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You do know they have an open marriage.. Right? They've also separated several times.
I was just pulling his legs.

However what I wrote is my observation in Europe, New Zealand and Asia.

The age disparity is tied to being happily married, I have my own theory as to why but this is neither the thread nor time to discuss it.
 
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Epic Days

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I am in the agreement of age differences of a minimum of 10-12 years. I have no idea what @Spaz attributes it to.
The dynamic changes significantly. I noticed the change when I was with a woman half my age for a spell.
As a woman she views me in a different light than a ridiculous boy her age.
Another woman told her she had daddy issues and the young girl with me laughed at her. Priceless.
Of course the woman who told her that she had daddy issues was attractive but very resentful that she was with me. And close to my age, she felt that older women should have a shot at older men. If killing wasn’t against the law I would be dead now for being with a younger woman. The look she gave me was unmistakable.

Very fertile young woman. You could smell it on her. Once you get a young woman you will never want an old hag again. Promise.

It was a very unique situation to actually see that war between women that normally resides below the radar. Women are at war for c0cks and resources.
 

Epic Days

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I read an article about how in some places in Europe they are trying to deny access to older men for younger women.

Those hags that wasted their lives are furious.
Follow the left? Die with the left. The slow death of the infamous cat lady.
 

RickTheToad

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I dated her for a while and caught feelings. Perhaps I should avoid them at all costs, but I consider them pump and dump material.
Dude, you keep on playing with fire, you will get burned. Single mothers, unless you are snipped are very fertile. In addition, they usually have more than one dude around; especially if they are attractive.
 
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