Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

You teach people how to treat you

Glassguy

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Read that again. And again. And again.

*Chick dumps you. Resurfaces after 2 or 3 weeks and throws you bread crumbs. You bang her. You're winning....right? Wrong. She goes back to hot/cold. You're confused. How could she treat me this way? Because you told her that you would be there waiting for her when she got tired of riding Chad's dic during the 2 weeks you were "broke up". Chad got tired of her emotional mess and now she is running back to you because you let her. Guess what will happen when the next better option comes along? Thats right, she will do the same exact thing and "Need more space" again.

*You are talking to a chick and she ghosts you. A month or two later you hear from her out of the blue. You are jumping up and down with joy because she came back! Everything is good.......right? You set up a date and she flakes. So you say "How dare her flake on me!". Guess what? You taught her that you are low value when she got you re-interested again with little to no effort. You told her through your actions that YOU WOULD ASK how high if she said to jump.

YOU set the standards for how women and all other people treat you.

YOU set the tone on how you handle disrespectful behavior.

Nobody else but you.

I had a chick hmu this week after falling off the face of the earth a few months ago. I get a snap from her: "Hey whats up?". Not much I say. She goes on to ask if I deleted her on fb. "Sure did". She seemed amazed that a man would do such a thing since she sees herself as a princess.

"Listen princess, I know that you are waiting on me to ask you out for drinks again. That isnt going to happen. However, if you want to come over next weekend and hang out at my house we might be able to arrange something".

To that she went full bytch mode. Accusing me of trying to use her for sex. Well duh. She already proved she isnt dating material. She wants to get mad? Who cares. She wants to act like she deserves a dinner date? Cool......go get it from someone else.

Men- start holding these women to a higher standard in their actions and how they treat you. Do not put up with disrespect, especially from a chick that has literally done nothing for you in the beginning of the dating process. You will instantly increase your self value which is all that you can control anyways.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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When you hold yourself to a high standard women have no choice but to meet them. If you're concerned about not meeting enough women of high caliber then that says more about you and the circles you've been running with.

To @stormrider's point, being 100% responsible does not mean supplicating to women or demeaning yourself for others to clean up after them. You are ready to be responsible for externals only after you've mastered responsibility over yourself and all your actions, thoughts, and emotions. Own and understand your flaws and shortcomings. When you own yourself completely you will never get mad. No one will be able to get under your skin because you find strength in showing vulnerability. You are inspiring the empathy and openness that good leaders always do. That's how you'll know.

And that external responsibility manifests as holding people accountable and keeping your cool when they push back because they don't want accountability. Only a child wants to avoid responsibility. It's your job to inspire people through your actions and to treat them like adults. To treat people like children is to let everything slide, if they're an adult this disrespects you and them.

Call out adults that think they can act like children. Hold them accountable. The fate of your social environment depends on this feedback loop.
 
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Dash Riprock

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Men- start holding these women to a higher standard in their actions and how they treat you. Do not put up with disrespect, especially from a chick that has literally done nothing for you in the beginning of the dating process. You will instantly increase your self value which is all that you can control anyways.
This.

This is the number one issue/problem facing men of ALL ages. Yes, even the 30-50 year olds who just cannot shake their p*ussy-man, beta ways. These guys value the p*ussy way more than their self respect. "I'll do anything to get her to like me." I'm over 45 and see it in 90+% of the guys my age I interact with. They can be leaders of companies, and come across as real men's-men, on the exterior anyway. Peel away that layer and they're a little boy star-struck by the pretty girl, going all beta-retard.

Put your self-respect ABOVE ALL, always.

~Dash~
 

Robert28

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Read that again. And again. And again.

*Chick dumps you. Resurfaces after 2 or 3 weeks and throws you bread crumbs. You bang her. You're winning....right? Wrong. She goes back to hot/cold. You're confused. How could she treat me this way? Because you told her that you would be there waiting for her when she got tired of riding Chad's dic during the 2 weeks you were "broke up". Chad got tired of her emotional mess and now she is running back to you because you let her. Guess what will happen when the next better option comes along? Thats right, she will do the same exact thing and "Need more space" again.

*You are talking to a chick and she ghosts you. A month or two later you hear from her out of the blue. You are jumping up and down with joy because she came back! Everything is good.......right? You set up a date and she flakes. So you say "How dare her flake on me!". Guess what? You taught her that you are low value when she got you re-interested again with little to no effort. You told her through your actions that YOU WOULD ASK how high if she said to jump.

YOU set the standards for how women and all other people treat you.

YOU set the tone on how you handle disrespectful behavior.

Nobody else but you.

I had a chick hmu this week after falling off the face of the earth a few months ago. I get a snap from her: "Hey whats up?". Not much I say. She goes on to ask if I deleted her on fb. "Sure did". She seemed amazed that a man would do such a thing since she sees herself as a princess.

"Listen princess, I know that you are waiting on me to ask you out for drinks again. That isnt going to happen. However, if you want to come over next weekend and hang out at my house we might be able to arrange something".

To that she went full bytch mode. Accusing me of trying to use her for sex. Well duh. She already proved she isnt dating material. She wants to get mad? Who cares. She wants to act like she deserves a dinner date? Cool......go get it from someone else.

Men- start holding these women to a higher standard in their actions and how they treat you. Do not put up with disrespect, especially from a chick that has literally done nothing for you in the beginning of the dating process. You will instantly increase your self value which is all that you can control anyways.
Problem is if you do this with most women these days you’re gonna be a lonely fella. All women have this entitlement complex, well, 99% of the do at least. The way it’s rigged these days, you have to put up with some crap but it’s up to you how much you’re willing to put up with.
 

Glassguy

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When you hold yourself to a higher standard (with all people) your self worth and value will instantly go up in their eyes when they are measuring it.

The ones that will not like it are the ones that merely wanted to take advantage of you in the first place and your high standards do not benefit them. Which is totally fine.
 

Glassguy

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These guys often say things like “my girl finally let me go out,” or “as long as my girl doesn’t find out,” or “as long as I keep her happy, then every thing is good”
Thats the lies of a beta mindset. These guys think that keeping the woman happy is what keeps them around.

If the man has a high enough worth/value in her eyes she will want to keep HIM happy so he doesnt kick her to the curb for an upgrade.
 

mrgoodstuff

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It’s called the romance disease. These guys separate women and life. All the willpower and masculine energy it took for them to conquer their lives, they didn’t transfer it to women. Instead they adopt a supplicating romantic frame.

These guys often say things like “my girl finally let me go out,” or “as long as my girl doesn’t find out,” or “as long as I keep her happy, then every thing is good”, and I find myself completely dumbfounded because the guy seems like a total man’s man, alpha in every way, but when he speaks of his woman, you can see the fear of God in his eyes.

It’s completely comical. To me, women is the easiest thing to conquer in life. Like in order of difficult of accomplishments, chicks are the easiest. So when I see grown successful men supplicate, I am completely perplexed.
Actually you have it a little wrong. All that will power and masculine energy they hand over to their love interest.
 

mrgoodstuff

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In my observation, what they hand over is actually feminine energy.

Real masculine energy is dominating women, having them submit to you, and being unreactive to their emotional outbursts.

This is the same type of masculine energy that it takes to conquer life/business/etc.

A lot of guys use that energy to become successful, but in their mistake of thinking life and women are separate things, they come to women with supplicating feminine energy.

And this is why you are so many leaders and men’s men supplicating to their women and getting cheated on.
Explain how their drive and masculinity decreases when they chase a babe they pedastal?
 

Serenity

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Many guys look at it the wrong way. Just like you said, she comes back weeks or months later and they think all is good again. These guys are looking past the incredibly rude behavior that is completely ignoring someone, worst of all responding positively to it

They need to readjust their view. If a woman goes away, she should stay away or accept having just a casual relationship with no strings attached.
 

mrgoodstuff

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That’s why I call it the romance disease.

Women and life are one. They are not separate from nature.

The same qualities it takes you to conquer the world are the same qualities women are attracted to.

The problem arises when the guy turns on his inner romantic hero to pursue women.

Suddenly he is no longer his authentic masculine self anymore.

The guy is supposed to be facing the horizon. He is staring into the abyss. And the woman is staring at him. That would make her the pursuer and romantic one, not him.

This is the masculine -feminine dynamic.

Now some guys might ask “if you don’t pursue women at all, then how on earth will you get laid? Do you expect women to pursue?”

And the answer is yes. I see women pursue guys all the time. Every single time I leave the house. Women might be subtle about it, but they are definitely initiating by using the 10001 seduction moves they have learned.

Only in sosuave does every guy act like he lives in a vacuum and if he doesn’t chase women, then nothing happens.

That’s not how it is in real life. If the guy has things going on for himself, if he is in shape, and has a vibrant social life on top of it, women WILL pursue and try to capture him into a relationship.

As a man, your job is to validate/dismiss based on their behavior.
Thanks to my life lessons and the information here i think chasing is one of the stupidest things a man can do. Especially this day and age where the female sets in a position to trap your energy. All of my good situations the women had enough interest ans drive of their own to come ti me. The bad ones were where i chased and attempted to prove my worth. Completely retarded. The current social order forces man to do right because if he doesn't there isa great penalty.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Ive said this in other posts. I think debated Guru about it. Once you hit it back up you throw the dynamic right back in her court. Guys think they win this way. They dont.
She reached back out cause the guy she was fvcking pulled away or dropped her.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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I recently saw a long time friend that I hadn't seen in a while and he's a great example of the masculine in life but feminine with women dynamic. He's been with the same woman since early college, probably over ten years or close to at this point. Not married. They've been living together forever. For the longest time he was working and she was getting her PhD. She was working as a waitress and he would complain to me that he's taking care of most of the bills. After she got her degree she kept working as a waitress because it turns out she didn't like the PhD work.

She then got in a fender bender and broke her wrist. She quit her job and put all financial load on him. She healed up in a couple months but wasn't looking for work. He mentioned that he was telling her she needs to get her sheet together and that the situation isn't sustainable, but she dragged it on. This guy worked his as$ off. He jumped companies, got better pay, did freelance work, and also invested in his hobbies. He bought a nice new sports car and sank a bunch of money into gnarly upgrades to make it lighter and faster. He sank thousands into home computer and server setups to have a baller entertainment setup. He was still not happy with her not working and not helping out. Apparently she was great at keeping the house clean and doing little upgrades and stylish tweaks. That was probably 4 or 6 months ago.

Fast forward to this last weekend. We hang out and he's happy to report he got a handsome raise at his company, something like 30%. He mentions he doesn't care about her getting a job anymore because he can comfortably afford their lifestyle and that the tension between them is gone. He's paying for her braces and other stuff for her I'm sure. But I noticed while hanging out with them that she was constantly ripping on him. Just constant criticism, talking down to him, constant sly disrespectful remarks and jabs, right in front of me. At first I thought they were jokes but then I noticed he wasn't laughing and she would stare him down, it would go on and on, jab after jab. And this man sat there and took it as if it was business as usual. I felt so uncomfortable because he's a friend, and I'm expected to just sit and watch his gf repeatedly rip his balls off? Fuuuuck. I tried subtly standing up for him as a fellow man a couple times but he stayed quiet so I shut up, it's his gf not mine. Him and i were going to a show and the plan was for her to drop us off in his car. This woman drove that car like a god d@mn maniac. When he would politely mention something about her speed or her nutty driving she had the audacity to say "wow that is all you get to say for the rest of the car ride. Just don't say anything else because wow, that was just, psh, wow." It was soooo uncomfortable to listen to him take this like a punk biitch.

Do you know what it felt like? It felt like she respected me more than she respected him. Like she could tell why I felt uncomfortable. It felt like she was showcasing how weak he is. Almost like she was saying 'watch how weak this guy is, watch how he responds when I act out. Isn't this pathetic?' it felt like she wanted me to start laughing at him with her. Like she was doing everything in her power to make him look weak to me. Like she had been doing this for months, YEARS, because she was good at it.

When him and I were alone I asked him what I should do when she disrespects him in front of me like that because it was super uncomfortable to just sit there. Do you know what his answer was? He was absolutely clueless that she was disrespecting him. He thought I was reading too far into things and didn't think much of it. She has completely brain washed this poor guy. She has completely normalized shiitting all over him because he let's her. She has it maaade. Nice place, rich cuck bf, nice fancy car to abuse. It's obvious that she's not with him for him, she's with him for his money and all the things she can get away with. Needless to say I do not want to be in the same room as them both again.

I don't like the term shiit test, I like the concept of gambling.

Women are like gamblers in relationships. Especially when they're bored, they'll gamble losing some of your respect for the chance to feel superior. This can be super subtle like a criticism. If you call her out she'll pretend it was a joke and get upset if you push the issue(doubling down). That's her gambling and it coming out as wash(if you do not take note and see it as a red flag). If she takes a gamble and you accept it, she has now won some power over you and you've lost some of her respect(and your self respect). The more she wins the bolder she becomes. She starts betting more and more, and because the bet size is so large the man doesn't have the backbone to call her bluff. It's a slippery slope until eventually she runs the house, she spends the money, she drives the car when and how she wants, and she doesn't respect the man one bit. In fact she resents him for letting her attain all this power. She resents him because she's found out he is not the strong man she once thought he was. These can also be called shiit tests, but again i think the concept of a gamble fits better, since she could lose or win. She is not some test giver authority to appease. She is being a reckless gambler that will only get burned when playing with a proper man. And when she gets burned on a bet her bet size gets lower and lower until she dare not bet anything or else risk losing what little respect she has left, in fear of being left broke and single.

This is why you call out those attempts to gamble or you start to disengage and distance yourself. Do not put up with it because you'll start to rationalize her behavior, letting her get bolder with her gambles. The bolder she gets the more she'll double down when you call her out, and it'll become harder and harder to control the situation. I have seen some women be willing to double down the house, their entire bankroll, to win a marble. These are the women that had bad or absent parents, or they've cucked so many men they think they're invincible. They have never had structure.

On the flip side, it's amazing how quickly women stop gambling when you set this precedence from the beginning. How much they love the structure you give them.

The more you let her wash or win, the bigger your respect debt hole becomes, and the more burning you'll have to do to get back where you should be as the leader.

So play smart. You are the house after all.
 

guru1000

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Ive said this in other posts. I think debated Guru about it. Once you hit it back up you throw the dynamic right back in her court. Guys think they win this way. They dont.
Don't misquote me to support a faulty point.

Women don't ghost me. How could they when they always initiate? lol

I ghost them.

However it is perfectably acceptable to tell a girl to come over after ghosting her. To argue otherwise only demonstrates a fear (of losing your "frame"). Women don't have frame to me. To you, they do, as you elevate them to be worthy of a frame to be considered.
 

guru1000

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If your Ghosting women out of fear because of your fear of them ghosting you then i would have to suggest you look at your own frame. You got this backwards my friend.
I do whatever I like. When I ghost them, I ghost them. That's what men with a plethora of options can do and will do for absolutely no reason other because they can and desire to.

I can also ghost a girl and call her in three months to come straight over, while you are still worried about "Frame." LOL

Guys who worry about Frame dont have frame. Akin to a guy who has Real integrity worried about getting integrity. He does not need to worry or think about that because he already has it. <==Read that again to let it sink.

If YOU are worried about "frame" or maintaining frame, you have Neither. LOL.

Guys who get it and who are very successful with women don't care an iota about frame. Because their persona is already reinforced with such Real Value that women will naturally compete for, and so that Frame that you worship (and Fear that you may lose) is a natural consequence of their Value, not the ideal to be strived for, thought or spoken about.

So if you are still worried about frame, you are only describing your lack (of frame), which is intrinsically a lack of Real Value which prompted you to seek Frame to begin with. Hence, you have become the SoSuave game worshipper pitching frame in an overcompensating attempt to support your lack of value.

Seek Real Value, not Frame.

There's another one for the DJ Bible and to scratch your head on. Have a nice day :)
 

guru1000

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Heres a better question @guru1000 why dont you explain to the forum how you dismiss or ghost a girl because you deem her VALUE to not be sufficient.

But then somehow miraculously 2 months after her SMV has come backup that you would invite her over??

So explain to us how HER SMV suddenly went up? (That you invite her over) Or is it yours went down? Because you hit some sort of cyclic dry spell and did not have " other options" to the point were you want to go backwards??

So who is showing real fear here.

The guy that dismisses low value? And then goes back to that level?

Or the guy who wants to go up to a better SMV? For himself?

Look whatever her behavior was that didn't float your standard that you would bring her back in shows lower value.

Im not talking circumstances like missed connections. I'm talking behavior that would cause ghosting as a boundary breach.
Just to be clear.
Your 200 word question only shows your inexperience. A girl needs to do something wrong or have inadequate SMV to ghost her? LOL.
 

guru1000

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See my second post on the matter. Im talking about girls respecting and behaving to how i am willing to be around. Its called a standard.
There was a brilliant post recently about the subject that was really good. Did ya read it??
Raise your standards.

Standards guru. Do you think after 3 months you suddenly give in the girl will be better the next time around or is it just the puzz? Is there any other around? The plethora of puzz? I would highly doubt the girl that fell for this had much in the way of smarts to begin with.

So you play with her puzz and afterwards she disrespects you again? What then? Another "Ghost warning"

"I swear the next time i ghost you you will never see me again. I ]promise this time!!
I mean it!!"

Thats what she is hearing. I told you in a previous post. Highly beautiful women do not fall for this shyt.
The dumbest of them will fall for it 1 or 2 times but then will quickly figure you out.
You again only reinforce your (in)experiences of a man with few options. Let me Paint a Different Picture for you so you can get an idea of how the other side may live.

Let's say you are a man who likes Porches (brunettes). So you accumulate a stable of Porches of different ages and colors. So right now you may have a red, white, black, blue, grey, purple assortment of Porches of different models and years.

Follow me so far? Keep paying attention ...

So now you're hanging with a brand new red Porsche (and a few others). One day you simply get bored of the Red Porsche for absolutely no reason. It purrs like a baby, drives fast, and treats you right--but because you have experienced it a few times, you grow bored. Nothing wrong with the Porsche at all. It is a perfect car and sought after by many. But because you already experienced it, you wish to drive other cars that you have yet to experience or have not experienced in some time and miss (To the women reading: This is why you should not get insecure when a man ghosts you for no reason. It's Nature, and how a man's desire May work).

So do you sell the new red Porsche? Do you junk it? Do you trade it in?

None of that is really necessary although you can. I simply put it in the garage for now, and let it sit. And when and IF I am ready and miss it, I'll get back to it at a later time.

Now, does this mean that this brand new red Porsche treated you badly or had inadequate market value?

Do you seek the glaring inexperience, lack of options, and naivety in your question?
 

guru1000

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Im taking this a step further. If you ghost her and then go back you are teaching her you just reset and settled for her again. Why? How?
Its not the acclaim for mercy like you want.
Her hypergamic brain will tell her you just settled. You went backwards. Period
Hypergamic brain? LOL
So when your ferrari that you parked gets stik slammed into gear and a few more miles put on her youll take that sloppy second lap in her. Haha great analogy. How does that taste to you?
Sloppy second as if she were a virgin?

Always a pleasure Stringpuller. At least I can help you get rid of these virginal words, phrases, and thoughts you hold.
 
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