BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
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exactly.
but why... does the man feel the need for control. and to be sure control is often THE issue for any couple. if the guy is not an ass.. then in theory the girl will project a sense of submission (not slave...) and the man will have NO feeling to want to control. the want for control is in reaction to her not being submissive (again, stressing that this is not about master and slave but about man and woman).
I have a relative, older single pretty smart self sufficient. she projects that she does not need a man, but wants one, really wants one. many men want to be needed. it is not about control, if fills a desire to be needed. part of the reasons we love our children.
the control happens when the girl is getting bored and the guy tells NO. if the girl stays in frame... it doesn't happen unless the guy is or becomes an ass.
Your comments are sensible but their can be other dynamics at play.exactly.
but why... does the man feel the need for control. and to be sure control is often THE issue for any couple. if the guy is not an ass.. then in theory the girl will project a sense of submission (not slave...) and the man will have NO feeling to want to control. the want for control is in reaction to her not being submissive (again, stressing that this is not about master and slave but about man and woman).
I have a relative, older single pretty smart self sufficient. she projects that she does not need a man, but wants one, really wants one. many men want to be needed. it is not about control, if fills a desire to be needed. part of the reasons we love our children.
the control happens when the girl is getting bored and the guy tells NO. if the girl stays in frame... it doesn't happen unless the guy is or becomes an ass.
Submissiveness is exhibited by a woman who respects and reveres her man. This means (and this gets emphasized around here a great deal - and rightly so) that the man needs to have value in the woman’s eyes.
Thing is that value is ALWAYS relative. It is a sliding scale. The HB 9 woman with a Yale degree is unlikely to find value in a janitor man.
Just as a hot male corporate lawyer is unlikely to find value in an overweight file clerk woman.
Water seeks its own level. If tension exists in a relationship often a place to look is the relative value of the partners. Women, I don’t care what they say, want a man who they find a catch, who they see as at least equal if not higher than her in value. To such a man she will submit. If a woman thinks she is the higher value partner (in other words she settled in some way for a man she deems lesser value than herself) then problems ensue, respect erodes and conflicts involving control arise. She won’t submit to a lower value man.
Another frequent cause of control issues is insecurity on the part of the man (which really is a reflection of a man’s perception of his value relative to hers.)
Men don’t usually need to exert control over submissive women unless their is insecurity on the man’s part. Insecure people seek control as a mechanism of alleviating fears and worries that arise out of lack. Lack of value, lack of self esteem, etc. This has little to do with the partner & everything to do with the insecure individual. In fact having a high value partner can heighten insecurity, exacerbating it.