Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

woman's perspective

sarnant

Banned
Joined
Nov 6, 2022
Messages
96
Reaction score
30
Age
19
Location
Florida
Hey, I just joined this site because I've seen lots of interesting discussions about the discourse on relationships between males/females and how females usually have the upper hand. I mean I wish that was the case. I'm a senior in high school, turned 18 a month ago, and feel undesirable and freakish because of the constant comments on my height. I recently grew from 5'6 which is already tall for a girl around here to 5'8 and I literally am so self conscious and I feel like I can't open up to a guy or have a relationship because I feel like he will automatically "prefer" short girls. I read countless online forums on what height guys prefer and I keep getting the same answer. I really feel for short guys because we're in the same boat, but at the same time I don't because of the constant bullying I receive from them. I live in a place where there is lots of Asian/Latino guys and I can hear them snickering when I walk by. The average height for a girl here is like 5'1 and for a guy it's like 5'7. I heard guys laughing yesterday when I walked past them and today I walked past a shorter guy and he said, "What's up father" I don't know what he meant but I'm assuming he's referring to my height.

I am not big by any means. I weigh 122 lbs but no matter how "small" I try to make myself I still feel lanky and weird. I'm half Asian/half white but I kinda resent my white dad for giving me the "tall" genes (he's like 6'4). My mom is 5'2 and I was thinking if only she had married a shorter guy I could feel more desirable.

Women like me don't have the upper hand. I've tried being feminine. I'm very soft spoken. My hair is down to my waist, I have glowing skin, but my height seems to be a big deterrent for guys.
 
Last edited:

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
7,576
Reaction score
6,650
5'8" is a great height for a woman. You probably need to put yourself in surroundings where men appreciate tall-ish women. I'm 5'10" so 5'8" women are pretty close to my maximum height before I'm wasting my time in pursuing. Many 5'9" and 5'10" women are closed off to the possibility of a 5'10" man despite the fact that they aren't taller than I am. 5'11"+ women are even less interested in me.

5'8" and 122 lbs is a good skinny physique.

You simply haven't found a way to harness the upper hand that you have.
 

sarnant

Banned
Joined
Nov 6, 2022
Messages
96
Reaction score
30
Age
19
Location
Florida
5'8" is a great height for a woman. You probably need to put yourself in surroundings where men appreciate tall-ish women. I'm 5'10" so 5'8" women are pretty close to my maximum height before I'm wasting my time in pursuing. Many 5'9" and 5'10" women are closed off to the possibility of a 5'10" man despite the fact that they aren't taller than I am. 5'11"+ women are even less interested in me.

5'8" and 122 lbs is a good skinny physique.

You simply haven't found a way to harness the upper hand that you have.
Thank you so much! I would absolutely be open to dating a shorter guy, in fact I'm used to it since the average male is like 5'6-5'7 where I live but the people around here make me feel like undesirable and like a giant. I'm just scared to date a shorter guy because I feel like he'll be insecure, rather than the other way around.

You're right about different surroundings. My family and I visited NYC last summer and I got many more looks from guys than I've ever gotten in a lifetime lol. It's pretty sad that I'm 18 and never dated, kissed, or held hands, I can't wait to move away from this area.
 

King Lion

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2020
Messages
315
Reaction score
271
Age
52
Don't let it bother you too much. Those juvenile boys snickering now - Will be crying later - They just don't know it yet.

As in the story of the 'Ugly Ducking', you are not a duck at all, but you are in fact growing into becoming a beautiful swan.

You are what's called a Thoroughbred and not every guy can handle one. Those that can handle a Thoroughbred know they can and will make it clear to you.

Be well.
1667955926472.png
 

Scars

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 20, 2007
Messages
2,104
Reaction score
920
Age
33
Location
Phoenix
It sounds like you live in a predominately Asian/Latino area, which both cultures generally seem to have shorter genetics. 5'8 is taller for a girl. I prefer my women around 5'5 or so, but you're certainly not an Amazon woman. I think these dudes in your community are just super short. By the time I was a senior in HS I was 6'2. Most guys were around my height, some guys were even taller peaking 6'3 or 6'4. I think the tallest girl was exactly my height, around 6'2. So things can always be worse. I think it's just your community and who you're surrounded by. There's plenty of 6'2 men who would date a 5'8 girl, but if you're only surrounded by man-babies who make fun of you for it, then that is just their own insecurity coming out, they probably wish they were taller themselves.
 

Warning!

Do not subscribe to The SoSuave Newsletter unless you are already a chick magnet!

The information in each issue of The SoSuave Newsletter is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few. Not the unwashed masses.

If you know you can handle it...

If you already have girls calling you at all hours of the day and night, showing up at your door, throwing themselves at you everywhere you go...

Then sign up below.

But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special – then skip this. It is not for you.

sarnant

Banned
Joined
Nov 6, 2022
Messages
96
Reaction score
30
Age
19
Location
Florida
It sounds like you live in a predominately Asian/Latino area, which both cultures generally seem to have shorter genetics. 5'8 is taller for a girl. I prefer my women around 5'5 or so, but you're certainly not an Amazon woman. I think these dudes in your community are just super short. By the time I was a senior in HS I was 6'2. Most guys were around my height, some guys were even taller peaking 6'3 or 6'4. I think the tallest girl was exactly my height, around 6'2. So things can always be worse. I think it's just your community and who you're surrounded by. There's plenty of 6'2 men who would date a 5'8 girl, but if you're only surrounded by man-babies who make fun of you for it, then that is just their own insecurity coming out, they probably wish they were taller themselves.
Thanks for your perspective! Yea, I think it has to do with the area I'm living in rn. My father's Dutch and going to the Netherlands I felt for the first time short, even in comparison to other girls. It was amazing.

But seriously, I detest how "height" factors in gender roles. It's like the one thing we don't have control over and both tall girls and short guys seem to be "ostracized" and we have limited choices (mainly pressures from society) in our partners. Now if height reduction surgery could actually be a thing I'd def pay for it and get down to 5'5-5'6. But that's if the complications didn't outweigh the benefits...
 

sarnant

Banned
Joined
Nov 6, 2022
Messages
96
Reaction score
30
Age
19
Location
Florida
Don't let it bother you too much. Those juvenile boys snickering now - Will be crying later - They just don't know it yet.

As in the story of the 'Ugly Ducking', you are not a duck at all, but you are in fact growing into becoming a beautiful swan.

You are what's called a Thoroughbred and not every guy can handle one. Those that can handle a Thoroughbred know they can and will make it clear to you.

Be well.
View attachment 9149

Thank you for your support and encouragement :)
Maybe its location? Guys in NYC hit on me more than I've experienced in my lifetime. They seem to prefer tall and skinny, so idk.

Another thing happens to be frame. I'm very thin and have done research online (as well as noticing guys IRL) and they always go for the thicc girls who have a bigger butt. When I "tried" to become thicc (maxxed out at 133) I just felt incredibly masculine and hulking. I'm just naturally scrawny I suppose but its disheartening knowing that the majority of girls that get attention usually are 4'10 and have big butts (at least where i'm from).
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
10,878
Reaction score
10,705
Age
38
ive dated 5'8". You'd be considered normal in the West.
 

sarnant

Banned
Joined
Nov 6, 2022
Messages
96
Reaction score
30
Age
19
Location
Florida
ive dated 5'8". You'd be considered normal in the West.
Thanks, I suppose now it's geographical location. The women here average like 5'1 and the men 5'7. Guys here also seem to go after thicc women and don't even seem to glance at any girl who doesn't have large thighs/big butt, it's primarily in a Hispanic location so all I see getting the attention are like 4'10 women with big butts. The exact opposite of what I am lol
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
2,194
Reaction score
1,758
Age
50
OP you have a location problem like a lot of guys here. I don't know where you are exactly (I assume somewhere in the Southwestern US along the border) but in California you'd fit right in. Lots of guys like Asian girls, and a asian/white mix is highly desireable if you're a female. Feel glad you're not a guy lol.

Also, own your height. Don't get bad posture habits.
 

sarnant

Banned
Joined
Nov 6, 2022
Messages
96
Reaction score
30
Age
19
Location
Florida
OP you have a location problem like a lot of guys here. I don't know where you are exactly (I assume somewhere in the Southwestern US along the border) but in California you'd fit right in. Lots of guys like Asian girls, and a asian/white mix is highly desireable if you're a female. Feel glad you're not a guy lol.

Also, own your height. Don't get bad posture habits.
I live somewhere along the southern western coast of FL and I'm so sick of towering over all my female friends and my mom who are all like sub 5'-5'3 at most. It makes me constantly question my femininity. I'm thinking for college, relocating to California or New York for sure, I need to get out of this small town. I appreciate your response. I'm in flats constantly, slouch around guys/stand on one foot, and I feel like once I'm out of high school I'll develop more confidence.
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
2,194
Reaction score
1,758
Age
50
Ahh the south western coast of Florida. Big Goal's stomping grounds @Schwing

I hear it's kind of a dead zone there culturally. California and NYC are both solid choices. Any place with a modelling industry (that isn't dominated by Latinas like Miami), you won't stand out as much.

If you're going to California I recommend San Diego. There's a big asian population, lots of mixed races and diversity, and it's a military town so lots of fit guys. If you're more of an intellectual I recommend the Bay Area, which is also a good dating area for a female. LA is more superficial but does have its share of tall women (there are several modeling agencies there).
 
Last edited:

Howiestern

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
3,750
Reaction score
4,343
Age
46
My ex-wife whom I dated in highschool was 5'11". She stood out like crazy and guys were always saying something when she walked by(good and bad). She even did some modeling so her height must have not been too big of a deal.

She was 2" taller than me back then. Never bothered me, didn't cause any issues in our relationship either.

As time goes on it will be less of an issue. Just be yourself and ignore the haters.
 

kavi

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2022
Messages
323
Reaction score
307
Age
38
I posted about this girl I did a work shift with who was 6' 3". She got loads of attention from guys. I am 5 8 I love it. Gonna hit her up if I get to see her again. Maybe hit her up on insta but my insta presence is **** so not sure thats the best move.

Height is like one of the most attractive qualities in women. I think those men around you are just insecure and hence making negative comments just to bring you down. You need to interact with confident MEN not highschool boys. Really there is not point in 18yr old girls interacting with 18yr old boys you should be looking to interact with 25-30 yr old men. Cos boys be insecure and immature. Go to an area with tall guys, white guys etc are taller.

Tall girls are hot it really is the biggest differentiating factor. 5 ft 8 is like nothing lol
 

lost_blackbird

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
889
Reaction score
796
Location
South West UK

You think you've got problems... :rofl:
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

DreamAgain

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 17, 2016
Messages
382
Reaction score
393
Age
32
5'8" is a great height for a girl, you should be happy you aren't a 4 foot tall hobbit.
 

Dr.Suave

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2017
Messages
1,941
Reaction score
1,817
Age
36
Location
Mexico
Women like me don't have the upper hand. I've tried being feminine. I'm very soft spoken. My hair is down to my waist, I have glowing skin, but my height seems to be a big deterrent for guys.
I agree with others. Its a location problem.

Dont worry. Just be a bit patient for a little longer. 99% of the members here would hapilly date you.
 

lost_blackbird

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
889
Reaction score
796
Location
South West UK
5'8" is a great height for a girl, you should be happy you aren't a 4 foot tall hobbit.
I'd love a slightly built woman who was 4 foot and change as a slightly built 6 footer myself.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,703
Reaction score
6,491
Age
65
Location
The 7th Dimension
OP, what exactly do you mean when you say "I don't have the upper hand"?

My wife is 5'8". I'm, 5'11.5". For some reason I always attract the tall ones even though I prefer short, but we do just fine. Her personality and character are so great that I can easily overlook that preference. As a woman, take that to heart and consider men who may not fit your preferences perfectly but have a lot to offer a woman in terms of character.
 
Top