why?

[decades]

I am new here, and have read a lot of the posts. Many of us have spent a few years or more tolerating some awful crap! I tolerated an attention w*ore for over two years and I was almost ruined before I woke up...and this was pretty recent. I am in my 40s. It was a lesson I absolutely needed to learn and am better for it. But why on earth do we put up with the pain !

 

[WaterTiger]

Why?
....Fear of being alone?
....Hope that things will get better with time?
....Stockholm Syndrome?
....Kinky addiction to abuse?

It doesn't matter so much as to WHY you put up with the pain before, what matters now is that you don't do it again! We are here to help you BEFORE you fall under the evil spell of the next Attention Wh0re.

Welcome to the other side of the looking glass...(or Matrix...which ever genre suits you best.)

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by persistent exaction
I am new here, and have read a lot of the posts. Many of us have spent a few years or more tolerating some awful crap! I tolerated an attention w*ore for over two years and I was almost ruined before I woke up...and this was pretty recent. I am in my 40s. It was a lesson I absolutely needed to learn and am better for it. But why on earth do we put up with the pain !

i don't think it's the Stockholm Synd. nor being an abuse magnet at all (although that happens of course).

it's because of the incredible misconception that women hold the power (over men). they don't. you can thank the feminazis for this.

throw in a dash of insecurity and you've got a dangerous brew.

never let a woman walk all over you because you think she has something that you "want" or "need". any particular woman can be replaced quite easily. most men actually don't believe this, unfortunately.

think about all of that negative energy that you've expended. imagine if you put just 1/4 of it into improving yourself and into dating other women. you would have dumped your attention ho pretty quickly.

feel good, though. most men NEVER learn the lesson!

 

[dietzcoi]

Too cold is correct... most of us deep inside do not beleive we can find a replacement if our current GF leaves us...

That is all it comes down to I guess.. insecurity

This is what the DJ forum is trying to overcome...

Dietzcoi

 

[WestCoaster]

Why? Because we've been programmed

The more I think about these Matrix analogies, the more I think they're true.

Two years with a bad woman? That's probably the average or less around here. It's hard to de-program a LIFETIME of DAILY crap sent your way by society, friends, parents, girlfriends, other women, other men, etc., telling us to be AFCs.

AFCdom goes way beyond being a wimp around women, it's a disease that affects all areas of one's life. I can tell you horrific stories of AFCdom of friends and relatives in how it ruined their lives (50-year old cousin who could've gone to law school, bagged it for a woman who hates him but lives with him, now he has two waiting-tables jobs, etc.).

Why is DJism relegated to a semi-obscure website? Because people want to keep it down. Media wants you to succumb to AFCism, not be a man.

The programming has been long and it reaches deep. That's why we're here, to get you (and all of us) out of this terrible world of oneitis, wimpiness, lack of confidenceness, and AFCness.

You're on your way, welcome aboard.

 

[Bungo Pony]

But why on earth do we put up with the pain !

Because we have learned through society that we need a woman to be truly happy. When we don't have a woman, we're lonely which apparently leads to unhappiness. Many men will settle for an abusive, *****y, money-sucking woman rather than having no woman at all. Men have been led to believe that they cannot function properly without a woman in their life.

Welcome to the board. Stick around and you'll learn how NOT to put up with the pain.

 

[GirlCrazy]

But why on earth do we put up with the pain !

Because that's what we are taught to do. You see, misery loves company. Teaching you accept misery gives social proof to their misery. Unlike Bungo, I see this as something deeper than just an issue with how we as men relate to women. We are taught to accept failure in all areas of our life.

"See he's miserable too! That's the way it's supposed to be!"

Thankfully there's this thing called free will. We can CHOOSE a life of happiness!

You can literally wake up tomorrow and be anybody you want to be. You can be rid of things that hold you back in the blink of an eye. All that emotional baggage, preconceptions, pride, prejudice is all something you construct willingly.

Life is too short to build monuments to self-defeat.

Good luck on you path brother!

 

[decades]

thanks to all for the great answers!

regards

mike

 

[comote]

I actually think it is something a bit different. We are taught in high school and by tv to believe that if we are not dating someone we are a failure. The only people that go to the school dances by themselves are the steve erkels of the world.

We would rather be seen as a success by having someone, even someone we can't stand with us than seen as a failure by being alone.