Why she pulled away when I treated her well, need perspective

[Pedrito0906]

I've been dating this single mother non-exclusive for 4 months, always done fun dates, dancing, action dates, have made her boring life interesting, treating her well (non in a simping mode), wasn't that available until the last 2 weeks where we spent 10 days together. I know her family and we've been in events all together. Have been giving the bf vibe but always made sure to tell her that I wasn't ready.

Her ex was an obese guy (really fat), living with her parents, no job, never took her anywhere, never did anything interesting, a total loser, I know the guy and its true. When they broke up he went crying to her telling her that he took her for granted. They were together for 4 years, I can't imagine how, maybe she had low self esteem and got a hold of him instead of being alone. She told me one time that she thinks no man wants a woman with children.

I got my $hit together, fit, charming, financially stable, fun, interesting hobbies, and has a lot of friends

The thing is that she imagines I'm seeing other girls, so she pulled away from me for the last 3 days, she hasn't said anything about see me and I haven't sent her any message.

Even though I am seeing another girl, I treated her well, and then she pulls away like nothing happened between us. What is this? Women want to be treated like crap? Am I selecting damaged girls?

Help me understand what am I doing wrong, if I'm being different than her ex how she can pull away from me like that?

 

[IKO69]

You have your **** together and are fit, charming, financially stable and interesting. You treated her well and she pulls back... You are asking for perspective - you don't need perspective lolol. She is a nutcase. At some point in the past some guy probably pulled a fast one on her and it messed her self esteem. She never sorted out her feelings and so it shows in her behavior. She very well could be a good person but she needs to sort out her issues in order to have a healthy relationship. If she is as you say it would be impossible to have a relationship with her unless of the dysfunctional kind. I too made this mistake once and went against my own judgement because she was hot. Being good looking alone does not make one suitable for a relationship so you must always remember this.

And yes, damaged/messed up women like to be treated badly; that is not all women however.

Question, is she

and we all know she will never put in the effort and time to properly sort through her feelings and work on herself. No sir.

I can't say for sure. A lot of women are in and out of the psychiatrist's office. A lot recognize there is a problem, but of course, it's not enough to just recognize it, you have to want to do something about it. It's like the alcoholics and druggies that go to all the detox centers, on their own dime/their families dime and they still don't kick the habit. They have to actually want to do so.

 

[Robert28]

You have your **** together and are fit, charming, financially stable and interesting. You treated her well and she pulls back... You are asking for perspective - you don't need perspective lolol. She is a nutcase. At some point in the past some guy probably pulled a fast one on her and it messed her self esteem. She never sorted out her feelings and so it shows in her behavior. She very well could be a good person but she needs to sort out her issues in order to have a healthy relationship. If she is as you say it would be impossible to have a relationship with her unless of the dysfunctional kind.

And yes, damaged/messed up women like to be treated badly; that is not all women however.

and we all know she will never put in the effort and time to properly sort through her feelings and work on herself. No sir.

 

[SargeMaximus]

You gotta treat women like sh*t, sadly

 

[Pedrito0906]

She's told me she's never have had this much fun with anyone, she even cried on my chest once that nobody has treated her this well. Her dad was never in the pic and her mom died last year, and sometimes she told her thet she never was gonna be happy, a typical toxic mother, her ex wanted to change her to a muslim religion, he was controlling, never let her wear sexy clothes, she's always working 7 days, she had no time for anything, with me it was all different, never controlled her, always gave her space, all fun throughout the 4 months.

Is this the case of all of red flags combined and she's fvcked up in the head?

 

[Robert28]

She's told me she's never have had this much fun with anyone, she even cried on my chest once that nobody has treated her this well. Her dad was never in the pic and her mom died last year, and sometimes she told her thet she never was gonna be happy, a typical toxic mother, her ex wanted to change her to a muslim religion, he was controlling, never let her wear sexy clothes, she's always working 7 days, she had no time for anything, with me it was all different, never controlled her, always gave her space, all fun throughout the 4 months.

Is this the case of all of red flags combined and she's fvcked up in the head?

Ummmm yes. She’s the face of damaged goods. Let her rot alone.

 

[Gamisch]

When a woman pulls away from you , you better handle it like a pro.

I know this feeling . You tell yourself you are perfect for her, that you must have been the best she ever had ect. Then poof, she gone.

In the past I sometimes wanted some type of " closure "or "clearity ", and the answer was always a long list of basically personal insults, which made even less sense . Yes, you decide not to ponder upon her 5 flaws, yet she'll judge you for your 1 flaw you can't change. A woman might have 60 reasons, or 2 reasons to leave you. If you really wanna mess up your own esteem, digg deeper. My advice is to accept it and move on.

I always put alotta emphasis on the way you met her. If if was OLD then dont even bother digging deeper. But even without OLD. We can be all negative and talk about how all women are whoores, but maybe she simply isnt feeling you right now. Timing is always important with women, but cant control the timing aspect.

 

[Gamisch]

You gotta treat women like sh*t, sadly

Its counterintuitive ,I like to compare modern dating with chess. You sometimes gotta make strange , non obvious moves and sacrifice pieces to get a win. Just like with women.

Ofcourse you cant be no dating Nazi/devil evil guy. But this one sentence should be imprinted in the back of a mans mind . The" treat her badly", sometimes seems like bitter sauce that actually compliments a relationship where a man is "too sweet".

 

[Pierce.Manhammer]

Dating nowadays is chaotic at best, it's like driving an HMMV through Fallujah - never know where the next round is going to come from, and every now and then ya get blown up...

Uparmor my men, uparmor.

 

[Bigpapa]

Yes, you decide not to ponder upon her 5 flaws, yet she'll judge you for your 1 flaw you can't change. A woman might have 60 reasons, or 2 reasons to leave you

men search for reasons to like a girl , women search for reasons to reject a guy

the problem is that as a guy you should stop trying to be perfect and just accept who you are , and be comfortable with it . Otherwise you will always try to be in the position to want to know what happened

And yeah , it matters how you met . If you met on tinder she will never really think that you are a catch , because a guy with options will never be there

I always found way more difficult to get the phone number of girls from tinder than in real life . And even the attitude of most women on tinder is very sh1t

I remember that once I had a match with a girl on tinder , she unmatched after we had 2-3 texts and she was full of herself . Met the same girl 1-2 months later in a bar , she was the sweetest girl ever towards me . Just casually mentioned at some point that we had a tinder match and she was a d1ck and she started giggling and saying that you can not take seriously tinder

Tinder is just a tool for feeling good , nothing more

guys should not take tinder seriously

plus , in general … guys do not screen properly for LTR material . They are more like “ I like p8ssy .LTR = easy p8ssy “

 

[Robert28]

Dating nowadays is chaotic at best, it's like driving an HMMV through Fallujah - never know where the next round is going to come from, and every now and then ya get blown up...

Uparmor my men, uparmor.

Yep, it’s a ****show out there. Plummeting marriage rates and skyrocketing divorce rates should tell you how upside down the dating world is right now.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Its counterintuitive ,I like to compare modern dating with chess. You sometimes gotta make strange , non obvious moves and sacrifice pieces to get a win. Just like with women.

Ofcourse you cant be no dating Nazi/devil evil guy. But this one sentence should be imprinted in the back of a mans mind . The" treat her badly", sometimes seems like bitter sauce that actually compliments a relationship where a man is "too sweet".

Agreed, and the “META” here (for all you intellectuals on here) is that she sees a selfish ******* as a man who will look out for himself. Thus, she assumes any babies from him will as well.

 

[Gamisch]

@Pedrito0906 scroling through the feed I see you posted a thread about two plates being at the same event. Was this girl one of them?

Agreed, and the “META” here (for all you intellectuals on here) is that she sees a selfish ******* as a man who will look out for himself. Thus, she assumes any babies from him will as well.

Recently I make a thread my ex told me she want kids from me. She suggested to visit me once a month, stay 2 days ,fck like rabbits untill I impregnate her 2 or 3 times.

I barely talked to her. Short rude answers. I would be offended if a girl treated me like how I treat her now. It would be inhumane almost. Like asking me stupod onvisous questions ( did you knew there was war in Russia, what your opinion Gamisch?) Ect. Keeps luring me into having conversations.

Strangely enough this seems to work WAY better than when I was the one who suggested what written in first paragraph. I tried to be this good bf, call her daily, sincerely cared for her wellbeing. Suggested fun dates. No response .

I pull back completely, and now she is chasing me HARD, apologizing for everything. Seems like she did listen after all. Women are backwards AF.

Seems like she can't stand losing me ,but she also cant stand me being a bluepilled (look at my profile pic) good guy Greg.

 

[SargeMaximus]

@Pedrito0906 scroling through the feed I see you posted a thread about two plates being at the same event. Was this girl one of them?


Recently I make a thread my ex told me she want kids from me. She suggested to visit me once a month, stay 2 days ,fck like rabbits untill I impregnate her 2 or 3 times.

I barely talked to her. Short rude answers. I would be offended if a girl treated me like how I treat her now. It would be inhumane almost. Strangely enough this seems to work WAY better than when I was the one who suggested what written in first paragraph. I tried to be this good bf, call her daily, sincerely cared for her wellbeing. Suggested fun dates. No response .

I pull back completely, and now she is chasing me HARD, apologizing for everything. Seems like she did listen after all. Women are backwards AF.

Seems like she can't stand losing me ,but she also cant stand me being a bluepilled (look at my profile pic) good guy Greg.

Yeah that’s the signs you are her alpha. Don’t change a thing.

the girl I fvcked the other day even apologized during sex so many times it was getting annoying. That’s always a good, good sign

 

[Pedrito0906]

@Pedrito0906 scroling through the feed I see you posted a thread about two plates being at the same event. Was this girl one of them?


Recently I make a thread my ex told me she want kids from me. She suggested to visit me once a month, stay 2 days ,fck like rabbits untill I impregnate her 2 or 3 times.

I barely talked to her. Short rude answers. I would be offended if a girl treated me like how I treat her now. It would be inhumane almost. Like asking me stupod onvisous questions ( did you knew there was war in Russia, what your opinion Gamisch?) Ect. Keeps luring me into having conversations.

Strangely enough this seems to work WAY better than when I was the one who suggested what written in first paragraph. I tried to be this good bf, call her daily, sincerely cared for her wellbeing. Suggested fun dates. No response .

I pull back completely, and now she is chasing me HARD, apologizing for everything. Seems like she did listen after all. Women are backwards AF.

Seems like she can't stand losing me ,but she also cant stand me being a bluepilled (look at my profile pic) good guy Greg.

Yeah she was the main one I went with. The next day I went to see her to an event, then later that night she told me she was tired to tell the other one to come to my house instead, then I told her that after I took the time to see her she sends that stpid message, then she said that she appreciates me going there to see her. We haven't talked since.

 

[Gamisch]

Yeah she was the main one I went with. The next day I went to see her to an event, then later that night she told me she was tired to tell the other one to come to my house instead, then I told her that after I took the time to see her she sends that stpid message, then she said that she appreciates me going there to see her. We haven't talked since.

Hmm my gut feeling tells me it has something to do with that event.

When I read that thread I felt like something like that might've worked in your favor. But I wouldn't be surprised if she:
-sized up other prospect and didn't feel like competing with her (maybe other girl was more attractive in her eyes?)
- obese ex at least didn't had her laying awake and insecure at night.


Maybe the lesson is to NEVER talk about, or show off other women to plates, or at least be extremely subtle with it. The fact you see other women maybe should be more of a vibe thing, a demeanor ,then a factual thing trown in her face.

But, I am just suggesting things and thinking out loud here.

Edit @Pedrito0906 . She tested you bro. I hadn't read the latest responses before I made this post, but now I did and I believe she ultimately tested you there.

Every human been would like to hear the opposite of what they suggest in that situation. If i would tell a fwb to go see the other guy, I expect her to say " no ofcourse not honey I wanna see only you" . Especially after asking for exclusivity after spending so many days in a row together. Childish, but that's how human's operate.

Sometimes when things seems to good to be true a they actually are...

Remember Rihanna her dance song;

 

[Robert28]

Yeah that’s the signs you are her alpha. Don’t change a thing.

the girl I fvcked the other day even apologized during sex so many times it was getting annoying. That’s always a good, good sign

I mean I naturally act like that towards women I’m not all that interested in but are ok enough to hangout with every now and then. But when it comes to women I’m really into and attracted to the max, I can’t act like that if I tried lol And that’s why alot if times they lose interest or don’t like me back. Meanwhile the women I don’t want to see more then once every couple of weeks want to talk to me daily and see me alot.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I mean I naturally act like that towards women I’m not all that interested in but are ok enough to hangout with every now and then. But when it comes to women I’m really into and attracted to the max, I can’t act like that if I tried lol And that’s why alot if times they lose interest or don’t like me back. Meanwhile the women I don’t want to see more then once every couple of weeks want to talk to me daily and see me alot.

There’s gotta be a reason. What have you tried? Because it seems to be a simple matter of taking notes on yourself and using the winning behaviours with the hotter girls

 

[Machine10033]

I've been dating this single mother non-exclusive for 4 months, always done fun dates, dancing, action dates, have made her boring life interesting, treating her well (non in a simping mode), wasn't that available until the last 2 weeks where we spent 10 days together. I know her family and we've been in events all together. Have been giving the bf vibe but always made sure to tell her that I wasn't ready.

A man with options.... does not date single moms. I read nothing further than this but stop setting males back and let fend for herself....if **** seems ****ty then bolt.... what’s the end game? Playing house with some other dudes kid... stop !

 

[Robert28]

There’s gotta be a reason. What have you tried? Because it seems to be a simple matter of taking notes on yourself and using the winning behaviours with the hotter girls

I think it’s the validation of a hot girl showing interest in me, like a self esteem boost. I’m working on how to not let that happen though.