Why not being alpha isn’t a problem...

Fruitbat

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So, all the chaps I would consider “alpha” I see from my school....

Nearly all of them I see are married to women who bagged them in early 20s.

I see their profiles and see the old woman next to them.

I’m most definitely a sigma male. Not a beta butt kisser, most people who’ve known me describe me as a bit of a hermit or recluse. I’m too charming to be a weirdo, but I’ve always “marched to the beat of a different drum”

I know a few of my kind, and all of them are the same as me- with a much younger woman.

I never had the luxury of a solid reputation in my youth. Consequently, I wasn’t pinned down. I had my fair share of girls. I just wasn’t much of a social entity so I never had that girl bait social status.

So, in the long run, being too desirable can be a bad thing. Sure, those guys got the hot girl at school. Being a few notches down actually made things easier.

Western women age - a lot. A lot of the guys who ended up with women their same age. They look better than they did at 25, but their wives - Jesus. A woman at 35 just isn’t a woman at 21.
 

AJ84

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So, all the chaps I would consider “alpha” I see from my school....

Nearly all of them I see are married to women who bagged them in early 20s.

I see their profiles and see the old woman next to them.

I’m most definitely a sigma male. Not a beta butt kisser, most people who’ve known me describe me as a bit of a hermit or recluse. I’m too charming to be a weirdo, but I’ve always “marched to the beat of a different drum”

I know a few of my kind, and all of them are the same as me- with a much younger woman.

I never had the luxury of a solid reputation in my youth. Consequently, I wasn’t pinned down. I had my fair share of girls. I just wasn’t much of a social entity so I never had that girl bait social status.

So, in the long run, being too desirable can be a bad thing. Sure, those guys got the hot girl at school. Being a few notches down actually made things easier.

Western women age - a lot. A lot of the guys who ended up with women their same age. They look better than they did at 25, but their wives - Jesus. A woman at 35 just isn’t a woman at 21.
With all due respect aren’t you overweight? You mentioned that more than once on this forum so why are you criticizing the appearance of other people?

We have to get old, we don’t have to get fat, right?

Sorry if that upsets you but unless you are a ripped Greek God .....
 

EyeOnThePrize

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Is sigma male some sort of definition you made up? An alpha isn't a recluse.
 

Fruitbat

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With all due respect aren’t you overweight? You mentioned that more than once on this forum so why are you criticizing the appearance of other people?

We have to get old, we don’t have to get fat, right?

Sorry if that upsets you but unless you are a ripped Greek God .....
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it.

I’m saying it’s ironic that highly desirable males get bagged up early and end up with women who are well past their turn by the time the guys are 35.

So, in a way it’s BETTER to not be a jock.
 

Fruitbat

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Is sigma male some sort of definition you made up? An alpha isn't a recluse.
No, it’s an extremely well established phenomena a short google search will confirm.
 

Jager

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There's no such thing as alpha.

There's only dominant and passive males.

But these r personality traits one is born into.

And u r an expressive - passive man.

But you can learn masculinity and acquire it.
@Fruitbat

Pay special attention to the last sentence.
 

AJ84

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I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it.

I’m saying it’s ironic that highly desirable males get bagged up early and end up with women who are well past their turn by the time the guys are 35.

So, in a way it’s BETTER to not be a jock.
Some of my high school jock/ cheerleader people didn’t hold up their looks as well as I would have thought but some did, and some nerds (male and female) actually look better.

It’s how well you take care of yourself. No one is going to look 21 forever, even your wife but I’m sure you don’t plan on dumping her for a younger replacement just because she shows some signs of age lol.
 

Machine10033

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I don’t think you can categorize guys from your grade school or high school as alphas. They could have been popular back then... displayed some alpha traits back then... and just pretty much gave up and became a passive beta male. Most of the guys in my highschool that were popular pretty much hit their prime in Highschool and never developed any drive to improve. They settle with what they know... and just live in that existence until they die. I have been in social settings with some of these guys wives and they are all looking to branch swing. They married the cool guy from highschool and didn’t realized he peaked back then. Nothing wrong with that but it’s just the facts. These are the girls that pop out a few kids and realize they hate their life and their spouse so they either give up or get the 35-40 year old hit the wall make over.... their last chance... boob job... get in shape and branch swing. Regardless these females are toxic and damaged.. so don’t even play in their end of the pool. Beta or alpha should be dating much younger and not paying those females any attention as they will only drain your life force, testosterone, money and motivation!
 

speed dawg

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So, all the chaps I would consider “alpha” I see from my school....

Nearly all of them I see are married to women who bagged them in early 20s.

I see their profiles and see the old woman next to them.

I’m most definitely a sigma male. Not a beta butt kisser, most people who’ve known me describe me as a bit of a hermit or recluse. I’m too charming to be a weirdo, but I’ve always “marched to the beat of a different drum”

I know a few of my kind, and all of them are the same as me- with a much younger woman.

I never had the luxury of a solid reputation in my youth. Consequently, I wasn’t pinned down. I had my fair share of girls. I just wasn’t much of a social entity so I never had that girl bait social status.

So, in the long run, being too desirable can be a bad thing. Sure, those guys got the hot girl at school. Being a few notches down actually made things easier.

Western women age - a lot. A lot of the guys who ended up with women their same age. They look better than they did at 25, but their wives - Jesus. A woman at 35 just isn’t a woman at 21.
I googled a few articles on this, it seems the definitions change depending on the article. One thing you are right about - being alpha isn't something that can really change, so best make peace with that especially if you are not one. Be your best self, whatever it may be.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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No, it’s an extremely well established phenomena a short google search will confirm.
I did. The qualities seem alpha to me, I'm not sure what the difference is. Not caring what others think is alpha(although this is always to a point) and independent. Sigma seems like a useless diversification meant to make less secure men feel more important. Can you give make the distinction a bit more clear for me?
 

Fruitbat

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I did. The qualities seem alpha to me, I'm not sure what the difference is. Not caring what others think is alpha(although this is always to a point) and independent. Sigma seems like a useless diversification meant to make less secure men feel more important. Can you give make the distinction a bit more clear for me?
You made the distinction. You think it’s a crutch for non-alpha to not be a beta.
 

Fruitbat

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I don’t think you can categorize guys from your grade school or high school as alphas. They could have been popular back then... displayed some alpha traits back then... and just pretty much gave up and became a passive beta male. Most of the guys in my highschool that were popular pretty much hit their prime in Highschool and never developed any drive to improve. They settle with what they know... and just live in that existence until they die. I have been in social settings with some of these guys wives and they are all looking to branch swing. They married the cool guy from highschool and didn’t realized he peaked back then. Nothing wrong with that but it’s just the facts. These are the girls that pop out a few kids and realize they hate their life and their spouse so they either give up or get the 35-40 year old hit the wall make over.... their last chance... boob job... get in shape and branch swing. Regardless these females are toxic and damaged.. so don’t even play in their end of the pool. Beta or alpha should be dating much younger and not paying those females any attention as they will only drain your life force, testosterone, money and motivation!
Now this contradicts speed dawg above. You’re either one or the other.

I’m not sure.
 

redskinsfan92

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With all due respect aren’t you overweight? You mentioned that more than once on this forum so why are you criticizing the appearance of other people?

We have to get old, we don’t have to get fat, right?

Sorry if that upsets you but unless you are a ripped Greek God .....
She's just upset because she a 35 year old woman...
 

Fruitbat

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With all due respect aren’t you overweight? You mentioned that more than once on this forum so why are you criticizing the appearance of other people?

We have to get old, we don’t have to get fat, right?

Sorry if that upsets you but unless you are a ripped Greek God .....
Yes, I’m probably a hypocrite.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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You made the distinction. You think it’s a crutch for non-alpha to not be a beta.
I'm asking what you think the distinction is, so I can get a better idea. To say it's a crutch to not be a beta doesn't make sense. Just because you call yourself a sigma or an alpha doesn't make it so. You could call yourself strong but if your behavior is weak who are you going to fool?
 

Fruitbat

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I'm asking what you think the distinction is, so I can get a better idea. To say it's a crutch to not be a beta doesn't make sense. Just because you call yourself a sigma or an alpha doesn't make it so. You could call yourself strong but if your behavior is weak who are you going to fool?
Here’s a good example. In my work, there is a strong alpha in the team. I do not get on with him at all. Never have.

Most of the team very much “follow” him. I’ve disagreed with him many times, openly, and he hates me for it.

Recently we had a meeting day and we were offered lunch. I decided to stay and a guy just said he had too much on and went home to work. The alpha guy seemed to take this as a mutiny and was kind of “herding” him back as best he could.

I personally couldn’t give a damn.

The dynamic I have with him, and others in the team is representative. Alphas are not, in my experience, outspoken and forthright. They carefully choose their positions and behaviour based on what’s appropriate to promote and retain social position. This is not to be agreeable, as is the case of a beta, but to galvanise social support.

I’ve met a few genuine psigmas and they tend to be the only people I befriend in work. People who are quite disagreeable and do things their own way, but cannot be bothered with the social climbing, the maintaining of position. They are happy as long as they are doing well and left alone, and will gladly voice their opinions. The alpha does this in a different way and for different reasons.

Most of the true alphas I know, the leaders, will not voice unpopular opinions or appear out of step, they morph when it suits them. Alphas want power and dominance, betas want acceptance. Sigmas neither want to follow, nor lead.

A lot of alphas, if not all of them, have a lot of dark triad, manipulative and insincere . You don’t need it to be successful.

I think the key difference is the “terms of a friendship”

So many what I would term “alpha” will NOT engage in friendships on any level other than being dominant over you. A beta accepts this and thus the alpha gains his rank. A sigma does not have the urge to dominate his fellow man, so will just not engage. Of course, business is different and you must play your cards correctly to all. However, in private and over sustained periods, the alpha is often incapable of true and equal friendship and courts betas to dominate.

Countless times I had to stop a relationship dead in its tracks. As soon as I see a sign of these games going on, I’m gone. I find it pathetic, and equally is the beta suck up pathetic.

If you see it as a weak/strong dynamic, that’s the bullshyt psigmas hate. You wouldn’t see interactions that way if you were one.
 
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