I'm 99% sure that not saying the right things is my entire problem. And obviously I can't keep coming back here and asking what to say next in the middle of a conversation or conflict, but I could use ideas of the right/wrong thing to say. And there shouldn't be people saying that being quick witted isn't required. My lack of wit is most of my problem. There should be more online sources for improving this and dating coaches should definitely all help their clients with this.
Asking people what to say will only take you so far. What do you expect, to have someone in your ear with an airpod telling you what to say when you actually meet her in person? C'mon common sense.
Plus, telling you what to say is preparing you for stuff that she might not even ask or might not even be relevant to the discussion/conversation.
That, and what you say is also not always as important as HOW you say it. The primarily language of seduction is body language.
Because what is unstated is that much of what scares/creeps girls out is just anxious/nervous/ unconfident energy. When a man is doing anything with a woman and is not confident in himself, it triggers alarm bells in the women..
Usually, it's forced and they cannot read obvious social cues. This can be easily replicated in a casual text conversation as well.
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I'm 99% sure that not saying the right things is my entire problem. And obviously I can't keep coming back here and asking what to say next in the middle of a conversation or conflict, but I could use ideas of the right/wrong thing to say. And there shouldn't be people saying that being quick witted isn't required. My lack of wit is most of my problem. There should be more online sources for improving this and dating coaches should definitely all help their clients with this.
You can work on your wit OP. What I do is I practice stream-of-consciousness and free-association exercises (these are writing exercises). They're done fast paced to get you thinking faster, which helps when thinking on your feet. I also have a standard list of questions to ask a chick (this is when I meet them online) if I get stuck and also have a loose conversational template I follow when texting so I don't have to think as much. My understanding is the cold approachers have a conversational game-plan as well. What you want to do eventually is combine sexual innuendo with plausible deniability, and weave them into an otherwise ordinary convo, which is a little advanced admittedly.
Post some of your text convos and see if we can't provide pointers for future interactions.
If you're willing to work on your wit, this is doable. At least have a convo template for your interactions.
I'm 99% sure that not saying the right things is my entire problem. And obviously I can't keep coming back here and asking what to say next in the middle of a conversation or conflict, but I could use ideas of the right/wrong thing to say. And there shouldn't be people saying that being quick witted isn't required. My lack of wit is most of my problem. There should be more online sources for improving this and dating coaches should definitely all help their clients with this.
You'll need to provide us with an example: what exactly are the types of things that you're saying and why do you think it is so bad?
You're just socializing with another person at the end of the day. Simply work off what they say, ask open ended questions and put the focus on them. As I've gotten older I've come to realize it's not so much what you say as how say it. If you're going in stressing about trying to be funny or wanting to say the "right thing" you will in most cases screw things up. It works that way- ever try to force yourself to remember someones name? Drives you crazy, then you say **** it and drop it completely. Later in the day when you are relaxed it randomly pops into your mind. You want to be calm and smooth and not trying to force anything. I'm assuming this is what is happening which is accounting for your problems. Feel free to tell me otherwise.
You asked a good question. I don't think it should be taboo but is difficult to provide a template since every convo will be different.
Its like playing chess against lets say Magnus carlsen (nr 1 player right now) and using an chess engine when you're out of ideas. Unless you really understand why the engine suggest move xyz ,you wont get any better.
The Man Mindset has this segment where he forces a man to put his money where his mouth is and CALL her live on the show. So the man call, tells her what the host (Steve the dean) tells him to say and geuss what? It'll actually work!! Suddenly Stacy crumbled due to his "newfound " demeanor and confidence.
The problem offourse is that soon as caller hangs up the phone he'll return to his old beta ways. Especially since she'll test him even MORE because she is confused how a bluepilled beta man outta nowhere spits hardcore RP game at her.
If you need specific information you are bettr off by taking 1 or even 2 steps back and "make it bigger ". E.g she doesn't respond to my invitation even though the marks are blue. What to say? Or like someone mentioned in this thread:its it about what to DO? Because I agree that mirroring her actions is a good overall advice.
You can ask me all the questions you want. Ill tell you that move 13 you better play bishop to d4, and the next move pawn to E3. But how will it benefit YOU?
I'm 99% sure that not saying the right things is my entire problem. And obviously I can't keep coming back here and asking what to say next in the middle of a conversation or conflict, but I could use ideas of the right/wrong thing to say. And there shouldn't be people saying that being quick witted isn't required. My lack of wit is most of my problem. There should be more online sources for improving this and dating coaches should definitely all help their clients with this.
I'm 99% sure that not saying the right things is my entire problem. And obviously I can't keep coming back here and asking what to say next in the middle of a conversation or conflict, but I could use ideas of the right/wrong thing to say. And there shouldn't be people saying that being quick witted isn't required. My lack of wit is most of my problem. There should be more online sources for improving this and dating coaches should definitely all help their clients with this.
OP there is. Study acting scrips for 2 people monolougues. And there is an excersise that stage actors practice where they sit in a circle and do word associations back and forth. Kinda off the wall advice but getting out of your head is the goal and these things can help.
This is way "just be yourself" is such bad advice
On a kind of tangent, but not. I hear a lot of people bemoan small talk. In fact I've heard people say they actually hate it.
This outlook is completely baffling to me. Small talk is the ultimate foundation of all conversation. You don't walk in to the bar and immediately start dissecting Shakespeare's early works, or philosophising and romanticising. Casual conversation is a real art in itself and people who don't manage it seem quite socially constipated. One person's warped opinions, philosophies and innermost thoughts about whatever are probably fairly niche compared to everyone else, and really have a very specific time and place.
As far as talking to people goes, you have to make it a habit until it become automatic. Just short conversations with shop staff is the easiest way to start. But it must become habit until you don't even think about it
Funny how being in shape and having a casual chill demeanor makes most women act like stupid teenage girls laughing and gigling at every lame comment you make !!!
On a kind of tangent, but not. I hear a lot of people bemoan small talk. In fact I've heard people say they actually hate it.
This outlook is completely baffling to me. Small talk is the ultimate foundation of all conversation. You don't walk in to the bar and immediately start dissecting Shakespeare's early works, or philosophising and romanticising. Casual conversation is a real art in itself and people who don't manage it seem quite socially constipated. One person's warped opinions, philosophies and innermost thoughts about whatever are probably fairly niche compared to everyone else, and really have a very specific time and place.
As far as talking to people goes, you have to make it a habit until it become automatic. Just short conversations with shop staff is the easiest way to start. But it must become habit until you don't even think about it
OP there is. Study acting scrips for 2 people monolougues. And there is an excersise that stage actors practice where they sit in a circle and do word associations back and forth. Kinda off the wall advice but getting out of your head is the goal and these things can help.
This is way "just be yourself" is such bad advice
And there shouldn't be people saying that being quick witted isn't required. My lack of wit is most of my problem. There should be more online sources for improving this and dating coaches should definitely all help their clients with this.
Your lack of wit Isn’t your problem. Your problem is you think when you talk it has be Mozart or Einstein.
If a man is talking to a 28 year old girl, he doesn’t need wit, he just needs to be “Sexy”. Make yourself Sexy.. Gym, clothes. car, hair. I hesitate to say “height“ but still, get Sexy and you will get all the hot girls you want.
”Cindy, I got a great guy for you. He is overweight, dresses bad, old car, no money, losing hair, and short.”
“Uh, no thanks.”
“But he is witty!”
”Set me up!”
I'm 99% sure that not saying the right things is my entire problem. And obviously I can't keep coming back here and asking what to say next in the middle of a conversation or conflict, but I could use ideas of the right/wrong thing to say. And there shouldn't be people saying that being quick witted isn't required. My lack of wit is most of my problem. There should be more online sources for improving this and dating coaches should definitely all help their clients with this.
When I was younger. I said the most inappropriate things to girls. My friends said I was possessed by the ‘anti-pu$$y demon’. It takes time and practice. Now I’m fairly smooth.
